Modesty: If you were yoga pants, Your husband will be mad

[acat7]

http://www.churchleaders.com/pastors/pa ... w.html?p=4

Most annoying thing is that she ACTUALLY said she felt comfortable, cute, and good about herself in them

:angry-banghead: :angry-banghead: :angry-banghead:

[louisa05]

I saw her original post about the yoga pants. This is a longer version with more preaching.

I don't think normal men (i.e. men not raised in purity culture who have been taught that women and their bodies are in the world merely to tempt them to have sexy thoughts) spend all their time thinking about what the women around them are wearing.

I also have to worry a bit for this woman. If you read some of her other blog posts, it seems that her husband is extremely controlling and they both think that is normal and acceptable. It is, in reality, a sign of an abuser.

[Want More Babies]

I feel sorry for this young wife. A couple weeks ago I had Yoga pants on and my husband asked why I don't wear them more (I had just done some yoga and pilates). I told him they weren't modest. :lol: He rolled his eyes and said I spend too much time online looking at what Conservatives have to say.

That said, I ran into someone who is my FB friend, and fundie, wearing yoga pants. She probably didn't like that I defrauded her husband. :lol:

[browngrl]

I am wearing yoga pants right now. I wore the same yoga pants this morning when I went downtown to run some errands. I did not hear any shouts of "NIKE" and most of the men (and women) I saw seemed to be fully occupied going about their own business so there was no indication I defrauded anyone. None the less I will be strutting around the rest of the day feeling like a bad bad girl who has sent countless people to the prayer closet to confess their deviancy. :lol:

[Trynn]

If I was a pair of yoga pants....

Oh. It actually took me a while to figure out you meant "wear." I was gonna say... I think I would be pretty pissed if I found out I was married to a pair of yoga pants."

[church_of_dog]

If I was a pair of yoga pants....

Oh. It actually took me a while to figure out you meant "wear." I was gonna say... I think I would be pretty pissed if I found out I was married to a pair of yoga pants."

Took me a while too to figure out what was meant.

If I was a pair of yoga pants, I'd like them to be Baryshnikov's… :whistle:

[feministxtian]

Yoga pants? Really? Mine are some ugly-ass suckers known as "comfy pants". I can only wear them about 4 months out of the year because it's just too damn hot the other 8 months. Guess I'm SOL today because I went out wearing a V-necked t-shirt and shorts that are sorta short. Its a little hard to hide the D-cups hanging off the front of my chest too. Well...Burkhas it will be...

[PrairieGirl]

http://www.churchleaders.com/pastors/pastor-articles/175460-phylicia-masonheimer-modesty-yoga-pants-and-5-myths-you-need-to-know.html?p=4

Most annoying thing is that she ACTUALLY said she felt comfortable, cute, and good about herself in them

:angry-banghead: :angry-banghead: :angry-banghead:

She probably looked cute and comfortable in them. But it doesn't matter how SHE feels./sarcasm

[Firiel]

I actually witnessed a situation where a boyfriend asked/told his girlfriend to go change because she was wearing leggings/yoga pants and it was "making him stumble."

I was completely at a loss as to how to react.

I didn't/don't know her well, but she seems like a wonderfully kind person who is also quite insecure (speaking as an insecure person myself). It saddened me to see her with someone with such controlling tendencies.

[amydamy]

My husband did tell me I might want to change my yoga pants the other day but that was only because there was a hole in the butt area showing off my undies. I went and changed into a differnt pair of yoga pants and went off on my way to Target.

[louisa05]

I actually witnessed a situation where a boyfriend asked/told his girlfriend to go change because she was wearing leggings/yoga pants and it was "making him stumble."

I was completely at a loss as to how to react.

I didn't/don't know her well, but she seems like a wonderfully kind person who is also quite insecure (speaking as an insecure person myself). It saddened me to see her with someone with such controlling tendencies.

I think it is such a warning sign of bad things when anyone tells their partner how to dress. It is controlling. My idiot sister-in-law is dating a much younger man who now "dresses" her on a regular basis. She is required to wear outfits and accessories picked out by him and wear them exactly as he orders her to. We were out for brunch with the whole family last month and it was a 90 degree humid midwestern summer day and he had made her wear a jean jacket over her sundress. She was complaining how hot she was the entire time and my husband finally told her to take off the damn jacket. She looked at the little boyfriend then said "Boyfriend picked it out to finish off this outfit, so I really can't take it off and ruin the look". He nodded and looked satisfied. None of us knew what to say. And it certainly is not a religion/modesty thing.

Of course, I never tell my husband what to wear. Ever. Something most women I know seem to think it is their bound marital duty to do.

[itsnotmeitsu]

My husband likes when I go out dressed in yoga pants or otherwise sexily. I could say he likes to see other men stumble, but I don't think he cares about other men like that.

[louisa05]

My husband likes when I go out dressed in yoga pants or otherwise sexily. I could say he likes to see other men stumble, but I don't think he cares about other men like that.

I don't go anywhere in yoga pants except a workout (or physical therapy, at the moment). But my husband likes when I am dressed sexy, too. Especially in short skirts. I tease him sometimes about how he is supposed to be upset that another man might notice. The whole modesty thing is completely foreign to him as it is not sold that way in the moderate Catholic world he grew up in. He sees clothing for everyone as having an appropriate time or place.

[KSmom]

I just got a new pair of yoga shorts in the mail this afternoon that are a couple inches longer than the pair that I already had. My husband said "why do you need new ones I liked the ones you had on this morning!" (I bought the longer ones for myself because I felt uncomfortable in the shorter ones at the Y, nobody told me anything and they looked fine, they just would inch up in class).

Each person should wear what they feel comfortable in and what makes them feel good.

[SquirrelySquirrel]

I think it is such a warning sign of bad things when anyone tells their partner how to dress. It is controlling. My idiot sister-in-law is dating a much younger man who now "dresses" her on a regular basis. She is required to wear outfits and accessories picked out by him and wear them exactly as he orders her to. We were out for brunch with the whole family last month and it was a 90 degree humid midwestern summer day and he had made her wear a jean jacket over her sundress. She was complaining how hot she was the entire time and my husband finally told her to take off the damn jacket. She looked at the little boyfriend then said "Boyfriend picked it out to finish off this outfit, so I really can't take it off and ruin the look". He nodded and looked satisfied. None of us knew what to say. And it certainly is not a religion/modesty thing.

Of course, I never tell my husband what to wear. Ever. Something most women I know seem to think it is their bound marital duty to do.

I will not apologize or feel guilty for breaking my husband's (then-boyfriend, circa 2000) socks with sandals obsession. :lol: I also persuaded him into ditching the Guess bibs, as I could NOT manage to hide the expression on my face fast enough. I would only hope someone would be kind enough to do the same for me.

But I do take your meaning. I don't consider it my duty unless it's excruciatingly bad, and he got a lot better anyway.

[louisa05]

I will not apologize or feel guilty for breaking my husband's (then-boyfriend, circa 2000) socks with sandals obsession. :lol: I also persuaded him into ditching the Guess bibs, as I could NOT manage to hide the expression on my face fast enough. I would only hope someone would be kind enough to do the same for me.

But I do take your meaning. I don't consider it my duty unless it's excruciatingly bad, and he got a lot better anyway.

Making a suggestion now and then to prevent something awful is one thing. I'm talking about those women who pick out all of the poor guy's clothes in the store, toss out everything they don't like and pretty much lay out what he is going to wear each day. Of course, these are also women who don't allow their husbands to have any say in the decor in the house, the cars they drive, the flowers planted outside, or the food the poor man eats, etc...One poor friend of my husband's who has not made a choice of his own for ten years asked him before we were married what he was going to do with all his stuff when I moved in, because obviously, he would not be allowed to keep any of it. So not true in our relationship. And I find it interesting that some of these same woman would think it an abusive relationship if the poor men tried to turn it all around on them.

[Rebelwife]

I will not apologize or feel guilty for breaking my husband's (then-boyfriend, circa 2000) socks with sandals obsession. :lol: I also persuaded him into ditching the Guess bibs, as I could NOT manage to hide the expression on my face fast enough. I would only hope someone would be kind enough to do the same for me.

But I do take your meaning. I don't consider it my duty unless it's excruciatingly bad, and he got a lot better anyway.

My husband will tell you I have a very obvious tone in my voice when I (rarely) ask "Oh, is that what you were planning on wearing?" :lol:

[Coco]

I will not apologize or feel guilty for breaking my husband's (then-boyfriend, circa 2000) socks with sandals obsession. :lol: I also persuaded him into ditching the Guess bibs, as I could NOT manage to hide the expression on my face fast enough. I would only hope someone would be kind enough to do the same for me.

But I do take your meaning. I don't consider it my duty unless it's excruciatingly bad, and he got a lot better anyway.

bwahahaha yes. You did him a huge favor there. Whoever thought that overall fad was a good idea for guys past the age of like, 5, was just being sadistic.

"Ok Babe, make me cookies and i won't throw out your bibs." :lol:

JCPenney catalog from 1990

[SquirrelySquirrel]

Okay, glad I'm not seen as a shrieking harpy bitch or anything. I've always fallen for the slightly nerdy type, and the hubs is no exception, but some things just are too much to handle. And the cookies still don't make being seen with that worth it! :lol: It's not just him though. If you want to know if those pants make your ass look huge, don't ask me unless you want the truth. I'm not mean or rude, but I am honest when asked for an honest opinion. Too bad that's not what the OP is talking about. I think there's a pretty clear line between opinionated and abusively so.

[Trynn]

I've worn leggings and yoga pants since waaaaay before they were popular because they're the only types of pants I feel comfortable in. I hate jeans with the passion of a thousand fiery suns, and Kakis aren't my better.

So yoga pants it is. I am stockin up now for when they go out of fashion and I can't get them anymore. I don't care what horrible fashion crime they'll turn into in about 10 years, you will pry my yoga pants out of my cold dead... Legs, actually.

Unless I was dealing with a small child under the age of. 4, I would never presume to dictate others clothing choices.

Shoot, my dad might buy things for mom, like socks, but when they went coat shopping they were fun to watch:

Dad: buy that coat, you look great!

Mom: I look like a pregnant hippopotamus

And dad believes in patriarchy, yet he still respects my mothers clotingchoices.

[GolightlyGrrl]

Yoga pants are my jam.

[Cheetah]

Yoga pants... make the butt look great, but watch the camel toe... I have seen some unfortunate choices here.

On telling your husband what not to wear... very timely for me... my mid-40s dh was always slim but middle age has crept up on him and he's not looking as good in his jeans as he used to. He was wearing a particularly unflattering pair yesterday... and I couldn't decide whether to say anything. It's not like I'm some hot young thing either...

[Peas n carrots]

I love how the author tells women not to wear yoga pants but offers no viable alternative. Like what clothes are practical and modest?

[moodygirl86]

I think it is such a warning sign of bad things when anyone tells their partner how to dress. It is controlling. My idiot sister-in-law is dating a much younger man who now "dresses" her on a regular basis. She is required to wear outfits and accessories picked out by him and wear them exactly as he orders her to. We were out for brunch with the whole family last month and it was a 90 degree humid midwestern summer day and he had made her wear a jean jacket over her sundress. She was complaining how hot she was the entire time and my husband finally told her to take off the damn jacket. She looked at the little boyfriend then said "Boyfriend picked it out to finish off this outfit, so I really can't take it off and ruin the look". He nodded and looked satisfied. None of us knew what to say. And it certainly is not a religion/modesty thing.

Of course, I never tell my husband what to wear. Ever. Something most women I know seem to think it is their bound marital duty to do.

Never thought I'd feel bad for your sister-in-law Louisa, but I do after reading that story!

[louisa05]

Never thought I'd feel bad for your sister-in-law Louisa, but I do after reading that story!

This whole relationship is making us worry. He is mooching off of her and seems to be moody and controlling to boot. She is nearly 39, fancies herself to be unique and artistic, so she feels super-duper special to be dating such a special snowflake "artist" (he is a mediocre painter who refuses to get a day job) and super-duper sexy because he is only 23 and super-duper rebellious because he is black. And, of course, she just can't be alone. He acts less mature than my very immature 19 year old nephew and is dragging her into (more) debt to support his luxurious lifestyle. We assume that if someone younger and cuter with more money comes along, he'll be gone in a flash.