The Eventual GrandDillard Announcement

[Feberin]

I would rather Jill have the first baby of the daughters compared to Jessa. Jessa doesn't seem that interested in having kids and I hope she has a nice little break after getting married with no buddies around. Plus I think Jill will enjoy the attention and not mind being filmed giving birth.

[Coco]

How are the little buddies going to feel when their real mothers have their own children? How will Josie feel when the attention is off her and everyone starts asking about Blessa and Phil?

i wondered that too! It's going to be like losing their best friend/mentor/second mom. (Which ones of the kids are Jessa and Jill's little buddies?) I wonder if when all of the Duggar kids are out of the nest they'll break off into groups based on who they grew up spending the most time with. (it happened in my family that way).

It would be weird but understandable if Michelle seized on Josie and tried to cherish every little part of her childhood and do things a mom of just one kid would do, knowing that Josie is her last chance to be a close mom. Spending time doing all the little things that she's overlooked with her older kids.

[LittleOleMe]

I would rather Jill have the first baby of the daughters compared to Jessa. Jessa doesn't seem that interested in having kids and I hope she has a nice little break after getting married with no buddies around. Plus I think Jill will enjoy the attention and not mind being filmed giving birth.

I agree with you. I can see Jessa telling Ben "wear a condom" in the same way she says "I'm in a courtship with a MAN", but do they even know what condoms are?? They know about the pill but do they know of anything else existing?? Like diaphragms or spermicide or simply pulling out (not that that works very well) or just charting to avoid pregnancy? They may very well think NFP is just not having sex 14 days after your period started. They probably don't know that every woman ovulates at different times and they can track to prevent pregnancy. I really cant imagine Jessa pregnant. At all.

[leftcoastmama]

I'm curious how much they know too.

Jill has to know something since she is training to be a midwife. I wonder if she would share what she knows with her sisters? She also has the advantage of Derick I'm sure he knows about at least condoms.

I d agree it seems Jessa isn't into children, but that could be ( and rightly so) she's tired of being forced to play mom to her little siblings. She could be completely maternal one she has a child of her own. Hopefully that baby doesn't come until they are ready.

Same for Jill we've see her be really nurturing but that doesn't mean she wants or is ready for a baby of her own right now. She might just want to travel the world with her husband and be a missionary for a couple of years and finish training as midwife without being pregnant or having an infant or two.

I snark on the courting/engaged girls a lot but I do hope they get some time to enjoy being on their own and being with their guys before being welcomed to the mommyhood.

[ljohnson2006]

Maybe J'Chelle will have to raise her own kids, if all of the older girls marry. I hope that happens. J'Chelle should do more than sit on her ass and go on her elliptical all day. MOTY my ass!

[Mela99]

Maybe J'Chelle will have to raise her own kids, if all of the older girls marry. I hope that happens. J'Chelle should do more than sit on her ass and go on her elliptical all day. MOTY my ass!

She has no desire to raise kids. She wants babies until they're done nursing and she's ready to move on.

[twinmama]

I agree with you. I can see Jessa telling Ben "wear a condom" in the same way she says "I'm in a courtship with a MAN", but do they even know what condoms are?? They know about the pill but do they know of anything else existing?? Like diaphragms or spermicide or simply pulling out (not that that works very well) or just charting to avoid pregnancy? They may very well think NFP is just not having sex 14 days after your period started. They probably don't know that every woman ovulates at different times and they can track to prevent pregnancy. I really cant imagine Jessa pregnant. At all.

All the Duggar daughters need to have a copy of Taking Charge of Your Fertility sent to them when they get married! When I was trying to get pregnant I read it and it was so fascinating. You can use it to get pregnant or to avoid, so just having the book on its own doesn't mean if Michelle saw it in their house she'd be finding birth control or something. They could use it to avoid, and just say they're using it to achieve.

[TXGirlInAMaterialWorld]

I can't see Jill suddenly wanting privacy for her first pregnancy. She had no problem showing her patients from the midwifery practice she is training with. I can't imagine any of my healthcare providers filming for a reality show and asking me to be on it. Maybe the patients thought they were showing an alternative form of healthcare- but I would never want my pregnancy to be exploited as some sort of religious or political statement.

I also agree that Derrick may turn out to be more fundie than his pedigree initially tells. My biggest concern is that so many changes are happening in his life so quickly that JB and the ATI cult will swoop in and get their claws deep into him. He has moved back from living in a foreign country, found out his one living parent is battling a deadly disease and married into a very authoritarian family all in the span of less than six months. These types of huge life changes and the inevitable questions and insecurity they bring, are exactly what make many young people so ripe for the picking for cults.

[silverspoons]

Jill is going to have lots of babies and I guess the first is within or very close to her first anniversary.

Maybe it is just me but I think Derick wants to become a Duggar. He lost his father, his mom is sick, he only has one sibling, alarge family looks nice to him. I'm an only child. My husband has over 20 siblings. On my side of the family it is just me and a cousin that lives 2000 miles away left. I enjoy my husband's large family (maybe more then he does). I think my husband childhood was happier then mine and he lived barley above poverty and I lived in an upper middle class suburb and traveled the world. While I can't have 20 kids, we have 2(I would have had more but I have a serious vascular disease) we have had 8-10 kids in our home staying with us at a time over the years. I always hated the emptiness of my only child home and was jealous of my neighbors with siblings. When my dad died I sought out religion(this is what I think happened to Derick). I decided after 5 years of study, organized religion wasn't for me. I just think Derick wants the Duggar beliefs and big family. I don't think he is famewhore. I do wonder about Ben's motives, fame vs true love of Jessa.

I also do not think Jessa will only have a few kids. She is a different personality then Jill but I think behind it she is towing the party line. I think Jill will be a more hands on loving mom and Jessa will be the detached raising God's army mom but the end result is a boat load of kids for each(barring fertility issues).

[actuallyjessica]

I can't see Jill suddenly wanting privacy for her first pregnancy. She had no problem showing her patients from the midwifery practice she is training with. I can't imagine any of my healthcare providers filming for a reality show and asking me to be on it. Maybe the patients thought they were showing an alternative form of healthcare- but I would never want my pregnancy to be exploited as some sort of religious or political statement.

I also agree that Derrick may turn out to be more fundie than his pedigree initially tells. My biggest concern is that so many changes are happening in his life so quickly that JB and the ATI cult will swoop in and get their claws deep into him. He has moved back from living in a foreign country, found out his one living parent is battling a deadly disease and married into a very authoritarian family all in the span of less than six months. These types of huge life changes and the inevitable questions and insecurity they bring, are exactly what make many young people so ripe for the picking for cults.

i agree. i think with his mom's health it will turn derick towards JB and michelle because if something happens to his mom, jill and his brother are all he has left.. so of course the cult claws will sink in.

[Pretzel]

I also do not think Jessa will only have a few kids. She is a different personality then Jill but I think behind it she is towing the party line. I think Jill will be a more hands on loving mom and Jessa will be the detached raising God's army mom but the end result is a boat load of kids for each(barring fertility issues).

This. Especially the bolded part is what I think as well.

Watching the show for years now, I've been really curious whether there were internal conflicts and hidden jealousies among the buddy teams.

Jill has always seemed to be the most hands-on, fun, caring and nurturing buddy to me. She's been snarked on a lot here because she's been the most vocal on the show (and maybe because it took her a bit longer to outgrow that pre-teen-braces wearing-teacher's pet- look) but I see that as a great strength of her, actually. Jill's never been bitchy, arrogant, ineloquent or shy on the show, unlike her other siblings. She's been a well-adjusted buddy team leader who genuinely likes to do all the buddy-ing, and we've heard that her buddy team (Jill, Joy, James, Jennifer) has established a close bond. It must be hard on her buddies to see her leave the home and lose their primary care-giver.

However, over the years it must have been bitter for the younger kids to see some of their siblings lovingly be cared for by Jill (and gentle Jana) while they themselves were forcefully dragged to the dentist by drill sergeant Jessa... :x

[16strong]

About the gentle Jana comment...I'm not so sure. On one of the recent episodes, it was made clear that she was the hard-line disciplinarian. The one where kids were sent to only if they were badly misbehaving. That's not to say she can't be gentle, I'm just saying that it sounds as if she is the one that keeps the kids in line rather than being the fun mom.

[BeaSnarky]

If it was any other daughter besides Jill, I think J'chelle would flip the fuck out. But since its her darling daughter Jill who's middle name just happens to be Michelle, the one daughter we've seen hug and smile at their mother and seems to be the heaviest kool-aid drinker; I think J'chelle will be thrilled and throw so much fundie-speak at us that this seems like the second coming - topping even MIRICLEBABYJOSIEPRINCESSTINYPRECIOUSTEENYBABY!!!11!!1!

OMG...I seriously just snorted coffee out of my nose at that last line...bwwwahahahahahahahahahaha*gasp*hahahahahahaha

[not.diligent.enough]

Although a part of me feels like this would somehow be cruel to Jill, the rest of me thinks how awesome that would be. [Although I'm not sure how it works in the US, I have a friend here (Canada) who had one done and both husband & wife had to be consulted before the doctor would perform the vasectomy. ]

I live in the US and I had to "sign off" on my husbands vasectomy. I don't know if that is something that happens everywhere or just the doctor we went to.

[Oz1977]

I live in the US and I had to "sign off" on my husbands vasectomy. I don't know if that is something that happens everywhere or just the doctor we went to.

Interesting! I live in the US.....my husband had a vasectomy last month and I didn't have to go to the consultation or anything!

[SuffolkNWhat]

In the UK a man can get a V-section (as I like to call it) without needing it to be signed off by his wife/partner etc.

Still trying to persuade Him Outdoors to take one for the team but alas no

[RosyDaisy]

I can't see Jill suddenly wanting privacy for her first pregnancy. She had no problem showing her patients from the midwifery practice she is training with.

I'm thinking TLC offered the mothers/couples some money to appear on the show. When your poor and have to rely on lay midwives for pre and post natal care, that money could be a godsend.

[uber frau]

In the UK a man can get a V-section (as I like to call it) without needing it to be signed off by his wife/partner etc.

In Australia, most doctors will recommend that the man's partner (providing there is one) is okay with it but it's not a legal requirement or anything. Some will not proceed without either a Stat Dec or the partner coming to the consultation, but that's not the norm.

[Alye]

Interesting! I live in the US.....my husband had a vasectomy last month and I didn't have to go to the consultation or anything!

It seems a bit wrong that a doctor would make a man's wife need to sign off on The Snip. This would not happen if it was a woman.

[lascuba]

Even though I know it's too soon, every time I see this thread has a new post I think it's a ling to a pregnancy announcement.

It seems a bit wrong that a doctor would make a man's wife need to sign off on The Snip. This would not happen if it was a woman.

It happens all the time. Not only that, but doctors routinely refuse to sterilize women under 30 and those who don't have a few kids already, because "every woman want children" and "they might regret it later." Paternalism! It's not just for fundies.

I agree that no one should need anyone else's consent about what to do with their bodies.

[church_of_dog]

Even though I know it's too soon, every time I see this thread has a new post I think it's a ling to a pregnancy announcement.

It happens all the time. Not only that, but doctors routinely refuse to sterilize women under 30 and those who don't have a few kids already, because "every woman want children" and "they might regret it later." Paternalism! It's not just for fundies.

I agree that no one should need anyone else's consent about what to do with their bodies.

An ex-boyfriend told me he has always been certain he didn't want kids and he got a vasectomy in his early 20s. He did have to do a bit of persuading of the doctor, with him being so young, but he found a doctor who believed him and did it.

[FJismyheadship]

My doctor told me at a checkup that since I was 24 st the time, I could have my tubes tied. Wish she had told me this BEFORE my daughter was born. I would have had it done at the same time as the C-section. However, I refuse to be cut open again. My scar still hurts when I do too much lifting.

[church_of_dog]

My doctor told me at a checkup that since I was 24 st the time, I could have my tubes tied. Wish she had told me this BEFORE my daughter was born. I would have had it done at the same time as the C-section. However, I refuse to be cut open again. My scar still hurts when I do too much lifting.

Can't they do it laparoscopically? That's an incision maybe an inch long… I had a hysterectomy a few years ago and they almost were able to do THAT laparoscopically, except there was an ovarian tumor they had to make sure wasn't cancerous (phew, it wasn't).

[Ursula]

Even though I know it's too soon, every time I see this thread has a new post I think it's a ling to a pregnancy announcement.

It happens all the time. Not only that, but doctors routinely refuse to sterilize women under 30 and those who don't have a few kids already, because "every woman want children" and "they might regret it later." Paternalism! It's not just for fundies.

I agree that no one should need anyone else's consent about what to do with their bodies.

The bolded x 1,000,000. I'm extremely pro-body autonomy and the idea of a man needing a woman's permission, even if that woman is his wife, to get sterilized horrifies me as much as the idea of a man forcing a woman he impregnated to stay pregnant some how. I know people will argue "it's different", and yeah, it is, as pregnancy can be a danger to a woman's health but I stand by that if you're a woman, NO ONE has a right to use your body as a fetal incubator. If you're a man, NO ONE has a right to your reproductive material.

Not that this really applies to Derick and Jill as he seems to be drowning in the fundie koolaid and they're going to have loooootttttsss of babies.

Incidentally I actually had a laparoscopic bilateral salpingectomy about a month and a half ago for the purpose of sterilization (I hate children) and while the doctor wanted to make sure I was super, duper, DUPER sure I never wanted children they didn't deny me my request at all. It was even 100% free, go Canada! To though be fair I am 30, so maybe that's the age they start taking those kinds of requests seriously. I'm not married or seeing anyone though so that was never an issue. They never even asked though I may have filled out a form and checked a "single" box when asked about marital status (can't recall). And yes, laparoscopic surgeries are the best! I was discharged less than two hours post op and walking around with ease and no pain (probably from being numbed) and only ever needed to take 3 of the 25 Tylenol 3s I was prescribed for pain relief over the next few days.