Kingdom Twindom got her cheating husband back

[Guest Anonymous]

This is the one who says that her husband has a sex addiction. They have two sets of twins and a singleton, and he has left her twice. She said that God told her that cheating hubby would come back, and she had her kids praying for it to happen. Well, it did. Honestly for the sake of those kids I hope they have sorted their shit out and it's going to work, but I won't be holding my breath. It sounds to me like he needed a place to stay so he didn't have to drive three hours to get to his job, but I'm cynical that way. Here's hoping that they don't pop out another set of twins just in time for him to mosey on out the door ... again.

kingdomtwindom.com/2011/08/i-wont-say-i-told-you-so.html

I'll just say, "He told me so."

Kudos to those of you who spotted Papa Bear in this morning's photos. I wouldn't have posted those pictures if I hadn't planned to post this today.

Because, as a matter of fact, Papa Bear is home.

He's been home for a few weeks, the first of which were, well, rough. Readjustment is rough. Counseling is rough. Forgiveness is rough. But it's all pretty amazingly beautiful, too. And it's been awesome to watch the kids...who haven't needed to readjust, go to counseling or forgive. They're just five of the happiest little people on planet earth. It is what it is. And to them, it couldn't be better.

I probably won't blog much about these past eight months, at least not for quite some time. I really feel like the hardest days are behind us, but our full redemption still lies ahead. We have our work cut out for us, but we also have the most amazing prayer support and a culture of hard hitting, unconditionally loving faith people. It's about the journey. And, most of the time, the journey is determined by whom you are traveling alongside.

God has worked out the details of our reconciliation in amazing ways. Papa Bear prayed for a better job, and he got one about thirty minutes from my house (he was living over three hours away). It wasn't long before we both decided that he should move back home. And now, we're looking for a new family home in the same town where he is working (and still not too far from our church).

It's hard not to be cautious, it is. But I'm determined to love like Jesus.

....

So, to me, the past eight months never happened...except in the ways (and there are many) that have made us both better and stronger. I pray that he can really let go of them, too.

We still need your prayers. Actually, we need them now more than ever! Thank you, thank you, for continuing to walk this road with us.

ETA: Some tidbits from a Q&A she did.

Q: What will you eventually blog/not blog about this time of separation?

A: Well, as you know if you've read for awhile, I have never given many details on this blog. Before we separated, we both felt called to proclaim what God had already done in our marriage and to do so via this blog. We always focused on God's victories more than Satan's attempted ones. Until Oprah (our biggest and possibly only mistake in "sharing"), we only mentioned, usually more so in passing, the all-inclusive issue of sex addiction. That is no longer something I'm blogging about, as I've already exhausted what God has taught me concerning the topic.

We both believe (and have had many conversations regarding the fact that) Satan wouldn't have kept attacking so hard unless we were right in believing that God did indeed call us to share. If He ever calls us to that role again (I believe He will restore us but He may or may not restore that ministry), things will be done pretty differently. However, it was never the blog that caused Papa Bear guilt or shame. In fact, he still loves all of those old posts. It was me, or the way Satan used me, that caused those things. Papa Bear did not feel that we were living in as much victory as I was writing about on the blog...because of the usually subtle things in my demeanor that continually revealed I was still in pain.

Q: You've been through this twice. When will you ever learn?

A: Short answer? Never. Long answer? I learn every day....that God is in control and I can trust Him completely with my future as long as I'm asking and listening and acting. I have had thoughts of, "What if he's not home for good?" Of course I have. But that's not up to me. I'm only responsible for doing what God calls me to do...and that's to be the best help and wife to the sexiest, sweetest, silliest Marine that I know.

Q: You've been through this twice. Does it seem different this time?

A: I'm different this time. Satan has overplayed his hand, if you will. Over the past eight months, though they have been rougher than rough and I've knelt more than I've stood, God has taught me to trust Him in a way that would have seemed silly to me before. When Papa Bear left last November, I thought it would kill me. Because I'd been through it all before, I thought it was hopeless to try again (yes, I know, I never told you that I felt that way). God keeps trying to teach me that His will is not affected by circumstances...and that I shouldn't interpret His voice according to what I see. He's also teaching me that Papa Bear's choices...things he does and doesn't do, do not actually have to hurt me. Even if they seem hurtful...I have a choice. Last time, I thought I had forgiven. I'm not a liar, I truly believed that I was standing in forgiveness. But I wasn't standing in the kind of forgiveness that I am today. Today, all things are new. And tomorrow will be the same way.

You see, he didn't want to cheat on her, it was Satan attacking them because they are so awesome.

I hate that she seems to blame herself for Cheater McCheaterson going off to cheat again because she showed that she was in pain from the last time he did it. WTF. That shit takes time to get over. He sounds like a manchild who never takes responsibility for his actions. Nothing seems to be his fault.

[longskirtlotsakids]

SO..... reading the above quote... it wil work out better because she has forgiven more genuinely?

Damn. What a world of hurt. Sorry, I have never, EVER heard of a case of a serial cheater reforming.

[keeperrox]

I want to know where she found the bank deposit, damn it! :lol:

[Guest Anonymous]

I want to know where she found the bank deposit, damn it! :lol:

She's friends with Mckmama and she does that same "tease for clicks" bullshit. It drives me batty but I keep reading because it's a spectacular trainwreck.

ETA: Also like Mckmama, she goes on and on about how awesomely sexay her cheating hubby is, but to me he looks like a straight up skeevster.

[BlackHawk]

In all of this I am really sad for her and her children. Instead of being able to rebuild their lives and move on, they are stuck in a terminal pattern. It's a terminal pattern many who have been abused find themselves in. You want to believe this person has changed so bad, but you know in your heart they haven't... but you stay any way.

I hope that Heavenly Father gives her a true peace that when papa bear walks out again, and you know he will, that it is truly not her fault. That it is his own daemons and that she needs to rebuild her and her children's lives away from him. And please, for the love of all that is holy, get some counseling for those kids... they do need it.

[Burris]

She knows the risks, and is willing to take them. Hopefully, things will work as she hopes - although if her husband hasn't taken steps to curb his own philandering, they're pretty much screwed.

[keeperrox]

She's friends with Mckmama and she does that same "tease for clicks" bullshit. It drives me batty but I keep reading because it's a spectacular trainwreck.

ETA: Also like Mckmama, she goes on and on about how awesomely sexay her cheating hubby is, but to me he looks like a straight up skeevster.

...And it all suddenly becomes clear.

[liltwinstar]

Just had a quick poke around her site...sounds like a hot mess to me.

[bea]

Wow.

He does NOT want to be married to her. Sure, "Satan" is to blame for him cheating on you repeatedly, leaving your family behind, etc. If by "Satan" you mean "your husband."

Isn't it lovely that they can blame an outside party for her husband's behavior? How convenient that "Satan" is around attacking their marriage. The fact that he cheated on her multiple times is just an indication, see, that God wants them to be married, because Satan can't stand happy people and took over her husband's body and forced him to have sex with other women.

I guess I'm lucky I'm not fundie, because Satan hasn't taken over my husband's body and forced him to have sex with other women.

[ThisOlGirl]

Can I come sit at the Cynical Table with you, Lissar?

And I ain't buyin' the sex addiction thing. I get the impression that in Fundieworld, cheating and/or viewing porn= sex addict. I admit I don't know a whole lot about sex addiction, but I'm willing to go out on a limb and say that one does not always equal the other. Without knowing all the dirty details of their marriage, it appears that "Papa Bear" is just your garden variety cheating bastard. And he will continue to be one, because he's gotten away with it twice now. I think the "Fool me once..." saying is very appropriate here.

Edited for clarity and riffles.

[Guest Anonymous]

Can I come sit the Cynical Table with you, Lissar?

Of course, plenty of room! There's lots of wine at the Cynical Table, it helps to keep us from moving over to the Bitter Table. No one wants to sit there. :P

[ElphabaGalinda]

They gotta stop blaming Satan for everything. If there was a Satan, which I personally don't think there is, i doubt he would care enough about insignificant people to make their spouses cheat on them. The lady's husband doesn't want to be married to her. He's cheated many times and he'll do it again. And the next time he does it, she'll just blame Satan. It could be worse, she could be blaming herself which I'm sure many people with their beliefs do. See...bright side...sort of.

[Guest Anonymous]

. It could be worse, she could be blaming herself which I'm sure many people with their beliefs do. See...bright side...sort of.

Sadly she does that, too.

It was me, or the way Satan used me, that caused those things. Papa Bear did not feel that we were living in as much victory as I was writing about on the blog...because of the usually subtle things in my demeanor that continually revealed I was still in pain.

[Grace]

And it's been awesome to watch the kids...who haven't needed to readjust, go to counseling or forgive.

Oh wow. Ummm...your husband has been gone from your home for 8 months and has cheated on you twice. Just because your kids are excited to have Daddy home does NOT mean they do not need counseling. Kids are resilient but they are also really good at hiding things. What an idiot.

[forever ago]

Can I come sit at the Cynical Table with you, Lissar?

And I ain't buyin' the sex addiction thing. I get the impression that in Fundieworld, cheating and/or viewing porn= sex addict. I admit I don't know a whole lot about sex addiction, but I'm willing to go out on a limb and say that one does not always equal the other. Without knowing all the dirty details of their marriage, it appears that "Papa Bear" is just your garden variety cheating bastard. And he will continue to be one, because he's gotten away with it twice now. I think the "Fool me once..." saying is very appropriate here.

Edited for clarity and riffles.

I suspect that barring a few cases, pretty much ALL sex addiction, from a fundie or a normal person, is really just serial cheating and using porn to neglect wives and girlfriends, plus having a higher than usual sex drive. I can understand if someone goes completely overboard but suddenly any dude who cheats on his wife or looks at porn is a "sex addict" and needs sympathy or something. WTF?

[emeraldskull]

Wow... I just can't even imagine...

Here is part of their story on OWN, btw... http://www.oprah.com/own-unfaithful/Dancing-with-Danger

http://www.oprah.com/own-unfaithful/Fan ... -A-Reality

This was after the first time he cheated, and after he left the second time, she says on her blog she regretted filming this. (I bet :-P)

ETA: Here's the full episode! http://www.oprah.com/own-unfaithful/Unf ... LL-EPISODE

You have to skip about 22 minutes in, since there are 2 episodes.

[emeraldskull]

Another thing I just realized while watching this... He cheated on her within the first year and a half of their marriage! o.O He couldn't even keep it in his pants as a newlywed :-P

[ElphabaGalinda]

Sadly she does that, too.

Wow, that's horrible, didn't notice that part. That is sadly not unexpected. Even though she's saying it was Satan with her too, you can tell she thinks it was all her fault.

[clibbyjo]

I just watched the Oprah story(part 1) and that husband is a cheating ,lying ,bastard and he will do it forever because she allows it. It is no one's fault but HIS. Poor kids thinking their dad cares about them when all he wants is free room and board until he meets another stripper.

[QueenMother]

She's friends with Mckmama and she does that same "tease for clicks" bullshit. It drives me batty but I keep reading because it's a spectacular trainwreck.

ETA: Also like Mckmama, she goes on and on about how awesomely sexay her cheating hubby is, but to me he looks like a straight up skeevster.

He's a deadbeat dad, and a serial cheater and it won't be too long before he's back to the strip club, and blaming it on Satan's interference, and she is living on her knees. This woman drives me nuts with her attitude, and the fact that she worships JM speaks volumes.

[DamnPrecious]

I just watched the Oprah story(part 1) and that husband is a cheating ,lying ,bastard and he will do it forever because she allows it. It is no one's fault but HIS. Poor kids thinking their dad cares about them when all he wants is free room and board until he meets another stripper.

Word!

[fundifugee]

In all of this I am really sad for her and her children. Instead of being able to rebuild their lives and move on, they are stuck in a terminal pattern. It's a terminal pattern many who have been abused find themselves in. You want to believe this person has changed so bad, but you know in your heart they haven't... but you stay any way.

I hope that Heavenly Father gives her a true peace that when papa bear walks out again, and you know he will, that it is truly not her fault. That it is his own daemons and that she needs to rebuild her and her children's lives away from him. And please, for the love of all that is holy, get some counseling for those kids... they do need it.

I don't know if the kids need counselling now, but they certainly will eventually as they are being raised with the idea that this is normative behaviour-- so they are likely either go screwing around on their partners, or marry jerks who do and be similarly doormat-ish about it.

[masagoroll]

Her husband IS cute looking...too bad he fails at life! Cute is not worth it!

WTF is wrong with both of them (him for acting that way and her for sticking around and acting like he's great)? What a train wreck.

[bea]

God almighty. Blame and shame and stress cause him to cheat on her - but if she holds him accountable for his cheating IN ANY WAY, she's causing those three things....and off he goes again after more strippers and sex workers and random women.

It's an endless cycle. He cheats, she gets upset, he says he's a sex addict and also really it's her fault because she's stressing him out and he can't help but stick his penis into other women when he's stressed. She stops holding him accountable and blames Satan. He comes back. He cheats again. Rinse. Repeat. Ad nauseum.

Those poor kids.

[duplessis3]

I did see some hope in the last line -where she says she can't control him, but only herself - maybe it will sink in, and she will realize that some vague "look" she had didn't force her husband to drop his drawers. assuming he does have a sex addiction (I am very uncomfortable about telling people they are wrong when they admit to an addiction) he needs to drag his ass to an SA meeting.