Corners

[Justme]

Next installments of ongoing subjects. (I haven't had time to read them yet.)

[Rainbowcolor]

I'll save you the time. Mom's Corner = work. Dad's Corner = think like dad. There ya go... In 4 words.

[demgirl]

Rainbow summed it up really nicely. Definitely snoozeworthy. If you're heard one tirade about Steve and his awesomeness and the horrible life effects of not working 24 hours a day, you've heard them all.

[gardenvarietycitizen]

As usual Steve posts on his common theme:

"Do we have an entertainment and recreation mindset or is our affection set on things above (Colossians 3:2)?"

I can't help but want to ask him - how about a third path, namely "are we working on anything that is actually going to help others or contribute to the REAL world that we live in?"

I'll confess here, some of the questions asked (again and again and again and again and AGAIN) in the Corners month after month actually have a bit of truth that I appreciate in them. There's something to be said for asking yourself occasionally during a particularly unmotivated or "bored" afternoon (where the recreation isn't particularly fulfilling to start with, just filling time), hey, maybe there is something I could be doing that I'll appreciate once I get started? I could be learning something right now. I could be making something. I could be meeting with some people and taking some action.

But for all that self-discipline, what do they do? They read the Bible. Again. How is that remotely productive? It's the same old "pie in the sky when you die." (Obviously I don't remotely share Steve's religion.)

I wouldn't ordinarily snark about how someone cares to spend their time, anyway, except that he is so preachy and sanctimonious about it. HE isn't wasting time, no, he's a hard worker and diligent! But from where I sit, he's completely self-absorbed, reading his literary tales day after day and not affecting the world. How is that not merely self-serving? (And that goes for all the people who think they are saving the world by doing nothing but studying scriptures all day long.)

Teri, meanwhile, has more to say about becoming diligent, and sometimes I do appreciate some of her messages (though I use my time for other things, some of the tips about getting and staying on task I sympathize with). But speaking of using time wisely, she needs to get to the point quicker and not stretch the thing over 4 MONTHS. We laid ground last month and now laid ground this month again! Get to the practical tip about the kitchen timer or whatever is coming, plz!

[kpmom]

Or how 'bout a fourth path? "We work diligently, then when work is done we relax and pursue hobbies, and, yes, fun.".

What's wrong with teaching your kids to get work out of the way, and then enjoy yourself? It's only what almost all of we parents, Christian or not, try to teach our kids.

ETA; How many times did Steve talk about death (even in a round about "time is short" way) in that Corner?

Good lord, if one was to play a drinking game based on Steve's death talk you'd be drunk all the time.

[jockosmom]

I can't help but want to ask him - how about a third path, namely "are we working on anything that is actually going to help others or contribute to the REAL world that we live in?"

This.

Even though they'll tell you they're "working", I keep wondering, doing what? Reading the Bible morning and night (and I'm sure, in between also); churning out their endless chore packs and chore schedules (which sort of baffles me that people buy this stuff - you can't just take a piece of poster paper and make a chore chart for your kids yourself?); torturing the elderly with their music; writing their endless sermons to the rest of us heathens about how our lives may not be as spirit-filled and biblical as theirs. They have all day, every day, since no one works outside the home to be OUT THERE in their community - making the world a better place with all their store of biblical wisdom. Instead they shut themselves away in their big house and write about how great they are.

[gardenvarietycitizen]

Or how 'bout a fourth path? "We work diligently, then when work is done we relax and pursue hobbies, and, yes, fun.".

What's wrong with teaching your kids to get work out of the way, and then enjoy yourself? It's only what almost all of we parents, Christian or not, try to teach our kids.

ETA; How many times did Steve talk about death (even in a round about "time is short" way) in that Corner?

Good lord, if one was to play a drinking game based on Steve's death talk you'd be drunk all the time.

That too of course, yeah. I just don't see their work and "using the time" as being all that amazingly productive, considering all they talk about it. It's all self-referential metaphysics and fantasy stuff, from my POV. They just sit and meditate on the same book endlessly.

Counting death references in any Steve speech would make a great drinking game. Though you'd need to use pretty weak beer unless you want to be calling 911 later... :D

I still feel the death obsession is central to all this. He's obsessed with death FIRST, and this is how he's trying to deal with it.

[Jessica]

Their fans always praise them for being "warriors for Christ". How are they being warriors for Christ? They travel around to like-minded people to sell their home/chore management materials. They aren't ministering to the poor & needy. What good is it to read the Bible and Jesus' message of charity and love if you aren't going to do anything with it?! Go volunteer at a women's shelter or food kitchen. If that's too scary (there might be ladies in pants or men with tattoos or something!), skip the latest iGadget and donate the money to a worthy cause (Heifer International, Kiva, Women for Women, World Food Programme, Akshaya Trust) and be a real warrior for Christ!

[liltwinstar]

If you really work all the time, eventually your work will suffer, becuase you'll burn out. So relaxation is essential to good work.

Also, relaxation doesn't have to be all passive stuff like watching TV (although I don't see anything wrong with that). You can read interesting books, do craft-type projects (like knitting or woodworking) that if you're good at, can produce useful items. You can do puzzles or games that challenge your brain.

I would go stark raving mad if I never had any downtime, seriously. When my life gets busy and I start snapping at people, sometimes I think to myself "when was the last time I sat down to knit for a while" and usually it's been many days - so I make time to knit for an hour and listen to a book on tape, and I'm a whole new woman.

But maybe I should just go polish my cabinets instead or something.

[allyisyourpally5]

Corners are up over at the Maxwell house.....both starting off with an advertizing campaign for Teri's new book. who wants to go give Steve a kick in the nuts with me?

 

So many ladies are struggling in being the wife, mom, and Christian the Lord wants them to be. They aren't sure how to fix their problems, and sometimes they spiral into more discouragement.

 

Of course, dads don't have problems. Not if you're like Steve anyway.

 

It is one thing to bring children into the world who can function in society, but it is quite another to raise children who will be righteous instruments in the hands of the Lord Jesus and used as He directs.

 

Ahhhh, finally he is admitting he is not bringing up children to function in society.

 

I remember when Nathan was getting married. He was our first child to be married,

 

It's a shame only one more has managed it.

 

He was our first child to be married, and I was so sad at his moving out because of the closeness of the relationship we had with each other

 

Bingo! The controler lost the controlled and Stevey got angry.

 

The Lord convicted me that my sadness was rooted in me being selfish and focusing on myself and not Nathan and his future. I had been letting my negative emotions rule me and my thoughts. I repented of those feelings, took my thoughts captive, and chose to think about Nathan rather than myself.

 

One would hope this would be a lesson well learnt?

 

What about the wonderful, God-given emotion of love? We would consider that a positive emotion, but is it to dominate our lives? The answer might be "yes" if it is love for the Lord Jesus Christ. However if we are talking about love for another person, even that positive emotion must be under the control of the Lord. If it isn't, we can become too focused on the object of our love whether it is a person, an activity, or something else. If our behavior is dictated by emotions, what about when that emotion is no longer? Does that change our behavior? Consider marriage. I love Teri, and I'm grateful that the emotion is there. However, there have been times when I did not feel the emotion of love for her, and there have been times when that was true of her for me as well. I expect that is the reality for every married couple. Does that mean I treat her differently? Is that grounds for divorce? Of course not! What a shipwreck our lives would be today had we followed our emotions and divorced at a time when the feelings waned.

 

 

Now I am totally lost for words. What a bastard. What a miserable family.

 

Preparing our children for life by helping them learn to deal with their emotions is a key aspect in preserving a godly legacy. Just because we experience an emotion does not mean it is to be trusted. We are to cast down every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God. We are to pass everything through the grid of Scripture, and it is embraced or thrown out based upon that grid.

 

WTF does this come from?If I remember correctly, Jesus said the most important commandment was to love each other! Blood is boiling, omg

 

Now for Teri:

 

I am now even more convinced of that because in the last article, I asked for readers to share their testimonies of moving from being lazy to self-disciplined. I only received one story!

 

Maybe life is not so problematic for EVERYBODY except the Maxwells then. What a thought that is....or are followers falling away?

 

Laziness can be the root of children who grow up but cannot be successful in their adult lives.

 

Positive picture of the Maxwell childrens future I personally think.

 

During those two hours, I am mostly answering Titus2 ministry e-mails that Steve sends to me

 

Yep, that explains it, all comments are only seen by Steve unless praisworthy to the Maxwells

[kpmom]

Good breakdown of the Corners.

And yes, as we suspected, all email to their web site, and blog comments, are filtered through Steve. No wonder he had to quit his job. When would he have time for all that controlling if he worked at a regular 9-5 job like most of the rest of the world?

[VodouDoll]

Imagine if someday Christopher or Sarah took over the website, how astonished they'd be at the dissenting comments their blog must get.

[fundiefan]

They are all in for a world of hurt when ol' Stevie kicks the bucket and their world isn't filtered through him. They might find that the world did not in fact, revolve around their father/idol, and they will be paralyzed with fear and incapable of functioning. They can't breathe now without his input, how will they survive when he dies? He is, contrary to his own beliefs, mortal and human just like the rest of us and he will not live forever.

Steve can have his delusional life. I'll take my life full of it's good, bad and ugly, including incredible, powerful, overwhelming LOVE and all that comes with it and because of it.

[ChunkyBarbie]

They are all in for a world of hurt when ol' Stevie kicks the bucket and their world isn't filtered through him. They might find that the world did not in fact, revolve around their father/idol, and they will be paralyzed with fear and incapable of functioning. They can't breathe now without his input, how will they survive when he dies? He is, contrary to his own beliefs, mortal and human just like the rest of us and he will not live forever.

Steve can have his delusional life. I'll take my life full of it's good, bad and ugly, including incredible, powerful, overwhelming LOVE and all that comes with it and because of it.

I can see Steve pulling a crazy and taking the family out if he had a terminal illness. God wouldn't want them to live without him. Or some crazy BS.

[ChunkyBarbie]

Also, I can honestly say for the past eighteen years I have always loved my husband. I may have had moments of irritation, frustration and even anger, but I always love him. Poor Teri. Steve is an asshat of epic proportions.

[darkplumaged]

Also, I can honestly say for the past eighteen years I have always loved my husband. I may have had moments of irritation, frustration and even anger, but I always love him. Poor Teri. Steve is an asshat of epic proportions.

Yes. My husband and I have been together almost six years, married for almost three. In that time, I have been absolutely furious at him, but I have not stopped loving him for a moment. Perhaps that will change over time, but I hope not. Steve just has a hard time really loving others, period.

[VodouDoll]

Me too. Even at times when I've been so angry at my husband I could hardly speak, I still loved him more than anyone else in the world. How awful for Teri to have her husband write that there are times when he hasn't even been in love with her and if it hadn't been against his religion he'd have totally left her, but whatever, it's not like love is that important to him. I can't figure out how Steve can be deluded enough to think that the kind, gentle, friendly persona he tries so hard to project on his website is actually working. He's a terrible person, cold and cruel and controlling.

[Justme]

Consider marriage. I love Teri, and I'm grateful that the emotion is there. However, there have been times when I did not feel the emotion of love for her, and there have been times when that was true of her for me as well. I expect that is the reality for every married couple.

How incrediably sad. Between my parents, inlaws & myself, we've been married over 120 years. I can honestly say, we have never "not loved" our spouse for even a minute.

He is a bitter, bitter old man.... :cry:

[gardenvarietycitizen]

I think Steve's comment about divorcing if you come not to love your spouse for a moment might be relating to his parents, again - he seems to have some sort of a grudge going there, about his father (who had an affair, I suspect?) breaking up his birth family.

Interesting to see confirmation that Steve is the gatekeeper on all of the site's email, though I can't say as I'm surprised.

Meanwhile Teri does give one piece of advice I agree with - namely, it can be very productive to use a timer rather than progress checkpoints to "do a little bit" on difficult or "where do I start?" tasks. Just Do It. Even if only for 30 minutes. Quit worrying about your progress. No need to wait for the top of the hour to get started, either.

But she sure does take forever in Bible verses to get there. And our views on the value of mental downtime couldn't be more different - it's entirely possible, and LIKELY even, for me to be mentally too tired to work but not physically tired enough to need sleep. At which point, yes, a little video game playing or snarking around on the internet is just the ticket!

...though that would of course be the dreaded F*N, so what am I thinking. I need the prayer closet.

:pray:

[doggie]

Yes. My husband and I have been together almost six years, married for almost three. In that time, I have been absolutely furious at him, but I have not stopped loving him for a moment. Perhaps that will change over time, but I hope not. Steve just has a hard time really loving others, period.

I agree he is strange he may not even lover her really he may only be able to love himself.

[Burris]

He really is a jerk. I went searching through some of his stuff for more on what he thought about his wife's depression.

Check out the road-kill I've dragged back:

Working through issues in my mind was critical to developing a godly perspective on Teri's depression. It was very easy to think about myself and not the pain Teri was suffering. I think that was absolutely the first and most important step: that I would get my mind off of myself and focus on my wife's and children's needs.

LOL. No; that would never happen with Steve-o. Don't believe me? Take his word for it, then:

I also saw my wife's struggles as opportunities to show her my love. It is easy to love someone when she is pleasant and meeting my needs, but what about when her eyes are swollen from crying, and she isn't much fun to be around? Maybe it isn't too difficult for one or two days, but what about when it is longer than that? Truly, I could demonstrate that I meant my wedding vows by choosing to love Teri through better or worse.

Even when it isn't All About Steve, it's All About Steve. His wife's suffering was an opportunity for him not only to grow, but also to show off how much he meant his vows.

Unresolved offenses are fertile ground for Satan to sow seeds of doubt and discouragement in a wife's heart.

Apparently the same is true for a husband. Steve's bitterness is plain as day – or at least it was back in September, 2000.

Oh, and guess how (else) I can tell Steve doesn't see Teri as his equal?

“I believe that God uses problems in a wife's (and children's) life to bring serious pressure to bear on a dad.â€

“Whether my wife is discouraged all the time or just a few days a month, I must be understanding and love her as Christ loved the church....[Ephesians 5:25] are not just nice sounding words used to fill up an empty page, but God commanded us dads to live them out.â€

“A dad may hear that his wife is discouraged because she is too busy while accomplishing too little.â€

“Next, I believe that the father needs to take full responsibility for his wife's depression. “

“There could be other areas of responsibility that a wife has taken on that really should be dad's.â€

I know he was writing for a “Dad's Corner,†but a quick proofreading should have clued him in as to how condescending those comments are when he refers to himself as “dad†while talking specifically (and in many of those instances, exclusively) about the relationship between husband and wife.

But then again, it's hard to say: Open-faced condescension toward others seems to be an ongoing problem for the Maxwells - especially Steve.

[fundiefan]

I don't think anyone needs to wonder why Teri's depression has been such a big issue in their lives.

Who wouldn't sink into darkness and sadness being married to that? She didn't need prayers to cure her, she needed a divorce lawyer.

[clibbyjo]

He really is a jerk. I went searching through some of his stuff for more on what he thought about his wife's depression.

Check out the road-kill I've dragged back:

LOL. No; that would never happen with Steve-o. Don't believe me? Take his word for it, then:

Even when it isn't All About Steve, it's All About Steve. His wife's suffering was an opportunity for him not only to grow, but also to show off how much he meant his vows.

Apparently the same is true for a husband. Steve's bitterness is plain as day – or at least it was back in September, 2000.

Oh, and guess how (else) I can tell Steve doesn't see Teri as his equal?

I know he was writing for a “Dad's Corner,†but a quick proofreading should have clued him in as to how condescending those comments are when he refers to himself as “dad†while talking specifically (and in many of those instances, exclusively) about the relationship between husband and wife.

But then again, it's hard to say: Open-faced condescension toward others seems to be an ongoing problem for the Maxwells - especially Steve.

There is just too much here to snark on.

So basically, my husband is responsible for my depression. Ok, so I guess he made that tumor in my neck grow which caused me so much anxiety my hair fell out which caused my depression. Wow, he can grow tumors and make hair fall out and cause depression! That is quite a skill,maybe I should rent him out as our new homeschool business? No, I should write a book about it. A book with COIL binding.

[Koala]

He's is glorified cult leader. There's no telling how many years of therapy it would take to get those poor kids straightened out. He's taught them not to trust their own thoughts and feelings. He's led them to believe that he is the mediator between them and god, and them and the world for that matter.

It's disgusting.

[skankbiscuit]

He is completely mentally ill. And Teri is depressed. Those poor, poor children....