Straight Marriages = no sexual abuse, domestic violence

[NotALoserLikeYou]

And kids wont go to prison! So says one delusional bishop

http://thinkprogress.org/lgbt/2013/03/2 ... ?mobile=wp

Quote: When a man and a woman are in the house, poverty is lessened. When a man and a woman are in the house, kids don’t go to prison. When a man and a woman are in the house, there’s less domestic violence. When a man and a woman are in the house, sexual abuse does not happen.

[FeministShrew]

My crazy-ass abusive first husband must have missed that memo.

[Gilka]

I think the correlation of the first two is pretty much accepted, but the second two are just delusional.

ETA: I don't know how I didn't read the post title. Abandonment by a parent of either gender is different than being raised by a loving same-sex couple, so my comment about the correlation is null. It is all just delusional.

[fundiemental]

My crazy-ass abusive first husband must have missed that memo.

Mine too.

[AVENues]

Totally true, I've never heard of poor couples and domestic abuse in the totally backwards and misogynistic country I was born and when I was growing up, and homosexuality was literally shunned. Never, ever. Only in 3 out of 5 households DID domestic violence happen, you sorry son of a porcupine. And everybody was totally freaking rich, too, to the point of being sick all winter because they could not afford proper heating and every other day a kid fainted from hunger in the class I was in. So much wealth! Just because men inserted their penises into their female spouses v*gina. Your logic is so perfectly comprehensible. And it was DEFO not a hamster's wheel for daughters to continue being submissive and abused and for boys to be borderline alcoholics and abusive. I'd like to toss a bowl of noodles in this idiot's face.

[Marianne]

So if a man and a woman can not be dangerous for a child, I am to understand that my father is in fact a woman (or my mother in fact a man) ?

I'll have to explain it to my friends with who I grew up in foster homes of the state, they have all suffered from abuse from parents who was 100% heterosexual.

[slickcat79]

Not that it's nonexistent or anything, but IIRC lesbian couples have the lowest rates of domestic violence. And the best way to decrease poverty in a household is to have fewer (or zero) kids. But I doubt this asshat is advocating that.

[VooDooChild]

Totally true, I've never heard of poor couples and domestic abuse in the totally backwards and misogynistic country I was born and when I was growing up, and homosexuality was literally shunned. Never, ever. Only in 3 out of 5 households DID domestic violence happen, you sorry son of a porcupine. And everybody was totally freaking rich, too, to the point of being sick all winter because they could not afford proper heating and every other day a kid fainted from hunger in the class I was in. So much wealth! Just because men inserted their penises into their female spouses v*gina. Your logic is so perfectly comprehensible. And it was DEFO not a hamster's wheel for daughters to continue being submissive and abused and for boys to be borderline alcoholics and abusive. I'd like to toss a bowl of noodles in this idiot's face.

I totally get what your saying here. But why did you spell out "penises" but not "vagina"? It's not a dirty word.

[thoughtful]

Hey, I didn't know they had bishops on other planets!

Here on Earth, Bishop Jackson, none of what you say is true. Nice try.

[docmom]

He's right, of course. And in families with both a mother and a father the sun always shines and it's always Christmas but never winter and a giant bunny does deliver all that candy at Easter and reindeer really do know how to fly.

[rward]

So my entire childhood never happened . . . I has a confuse.

[ADoyle90815]

My crazy-ass abusive first husband must have missed that memo.

My abusive ex-husband missed that memo as well. So did his parents, as my ex basically grew up in extreme poverty. At one point, his childhood bed was a table in someone's garage as that's where his family was permitted to stay.

[ILoveJellybeans]

Really? I thought the majority of rape and domestic violence was man on woman.

Sexual abuse would happen nomatter whether the child has a single parent, gay parents, straight parents, step parents, any kind of family. All it needs is for one or both parents to be a pedophile, or for someone who has access to the kids to be a pedophile.

What makes him think that it takes a man and a woman to not raise their kids in poverty...a poor straight couple could have as many kids as they like, but a poor gay couple would be unlikely to get a kid because it costs money to do fertility treatments, use a sperm/egg donor or a surrogate, adopt (and also poor couples are less likely to meet the standards for adoption).

[Trynn]

Jee, my cousin's father must've missed the memo to; he sexually abused my cousin (his daughter) and he and my cousin's mother were still married. Well, until my aunt found out about the abuse... that, as they say, was very fortunately the end of that.

[fundiemental]

Gay couples raising children together is usually such a deliberate thing. So much planning goes into creating that kind of family. It follows that such families are more likely to be financially and emotionslly stable - to have all their ducks in a row before bringing children aboard. Why is this so difficult for some people to understand? Why is this bad?

Not saying that that's never the case for "regular" families, but so often "regular" families happen accidentally. Not at the best time for all involved.

[RachelB]

Not that it's nonexistent or anything, but IIRC lesbian couples have the lowest rates of domestic violence. And the best way to decrease poverty in a household is to have fewer (or zero) kids. But I doubt this asshat is advocating that.

Yup. And their children have fewer behavioral problems than their peers.

[AVENues]

I totally get what your saying here. But why did you spell out "penises" but not "vagina"? It's not a dirty word.

Thank you for bringing it to my attention! I don't really know however. It's the opposite of what you are thinking. I had no problem spelling out the word "penis" but I did not want to spell out "vagina", since most of the times it's the vaginas that fall victims to male genitals. I know it does not make any sense, to me it did that moment and kind of does now in a retrospective view of things but I'd never blur out any part of it if I wasn't entirely outraged. Thank you again!

[SamuraiKatz]

My crazy-ass abusive first husband must have missed that memo.

Mine too.... :shock:

ETA: I only had one husband. One was more than enough.

[AVENues]

Not that it's nonexistent or anything, but IIRC lesbian couples have the lowest rates of domestic violence. And the best way to decrease poverty in a household is to have fewer (or zero) kids. But I doubt this asshat is advocating that.

I'm with slickcat here. True. I've seen it, experienced it. Having more kids results in bigger financial challenges! This is as clear as a swarowski crystal. More mouths to feed, more bodies to clothe, bigger water and electricity bills, etc. More periods of sickness with more sick kids, ergo you must buy more medications. Not to mention the extra curricular activities! Lower education will result in more people living in poverty.

There's another factor that people like to forget. If one of the parents - and I will not play the gender neutral fairy here to cover up for them, it's mostly the fathers!!! Ready to have my ass kicked! - is not satisfied with the "ordinary" life they automatically start as soon as they get out of their parents' house - IF they do - and they feel like they envous of other (successful) people, they are not contented with their salary, they feel like it is their fault that their fault that their families live in poverty - gee, I wonder why, maybe because it freaking is?! their fault - they'll live in a constant state of denial about their failure as providers and their whole state of mind will be one huge of I forgot what the name is where everyone else that does things better is probably a thief, a robber, and only losers like them are saints and favored by the gods - so they realize that one day their kids will start asking questions and in order to stop that from happening, they start hitting their kids before they could ask their fathers, how come they eat crappy food, live in abhorrent circumstances and the father has nothing to show for in life?! I know what comes with what I've just said. I'm all in favor of women being able to work, but since people with patriarchal mindsets will do anything to prevent that from happening, even in countries where religion was downright shunned - behind the iron curtain - someone will have to look after the children. Many times there aren't enough nurseries for small children and no grandparents available! So yes, in patriarchal countries, it should be the fathers that provide for the whole family. When they fail and they know it, god have mercy on their kids because they will not. I know what comes with what I said and I'm prepared to take it "like a man". I admit that moms tend to slap kid's butts too in order to keep them in line - I detest this method of controlling children... - but out of shame, drunk, anger, right away when they get home from work - check out those statistics again, dear stupid fucking pastor.

[AVENues]

Oh and one more thing. The thing that had left me shaking with anger yesterday and with nonsensical typing errors was the fact that I was prepared to see this messed up, horrid preach leaving abuse victims triggered, saddened and upset. I was right. It wrenches my heart to see the what large proportion of the comments came from people that were left re-traumatized by this idiotic, tactless, stupid pastor.

[SamuraiKatz]

Oh and one more thing. The thing that had left me shaking with anger yesterday and with nonsensical typing errors was the fact that I was prepared to see this messed up, horrid preach leaving abuse victims triggered, saddened and upset. I was right. It wrenches my heart to see the what large proportion of the comments came from people that were left re-traumatized by this idiotic, tactless, stupid pastor.

AVENues, I wish i could give you a hug.

[snackle]

I think the correlation of the first two is pretty much accepted, but the second two are just delusional.

ETA: I don't know how I didn't read the post title. Abandonment by a parent of either gender is different than being raised by a loving same-sex couple, so my comment about the correlation is null. It is all just delusional.

The data is that when 2 parents are in the house there's less poverty. The gender of the parents makes no difference.

[AVENues]

AVENues, I wish i could give you a hug.

Actually, I wanted to give *you* a hug SamuraiKatz, very much. Let's share a hug with all the people that need it. We can only do that much against sorry excuses for human beings with mindsets of an abusive rapist. To form an umbrella and reach out for each other. *hug*

[miffy]

ahhhh so it must be a lie that my grandfather, his siblings & mother were beaten mercilessly by his father? I THINK NOT!!!!

[Mama Mia]

I'm with slickcat here. True. I've seen it, experienced it. Having more kids results in bigger financial challenges! This is as clear as a swarowski crystal. More mouths to feed, more bodies to clothe, bigger water and electricity bills, etc. More periods of sickness with more sick kids, ergo you must buy more medications. Not to mention the extra curricular activities! Lower education will result in more people living in poverty.

There's another factor that people like to forget. If one of the parents - and I will not play the gender neutral fairy here to cover up for them, it's mostly the fathers!!! Ready to have my ass kicked! - is not satisfied with the "ordinary" life they automatically start as soon as they get out of their parents' house - IF they do - and they feel like they envous of other (successful) people, they are not contented with their salary, they feel like it is their fault that their fault that their families live in poverty - gee, I wonder why, maybe because it freaking is?! their fault - they'll live in a constant state of denial about their failure as providers and their whole state of mind will be one huge of I forgot what the name is where everyone else that does things better is probably a thief, a robber, and only losers like them are saints and favored by the gods - so they realize that one day their kids will start asking questions and in order to stop that from happening, they start hitting their kids before they could ask their fathers, how come they eat crappy food, live in abhorrent circumstances and the father has nothing to show for in life?! I know what comes with what I've just said. I'm all in favor of women being able to work, but since people with patriarchal mindsets will do anything to prevent that from happening, even in countries where religion was downright shunned - behind the iron curtain - someone will have to look after the children. Many times there aren't enough nurseries for small children and no grandparents available! So yes, in patriarchal countries, it should be the fathers that provide for the whole family. When they fail and they know it, god have mercy on their kids because they will not. I know what comes with what I said and I'm prepared to take it "like a man". I admit that moms tend to slap kid's butts too in order to keep them in line - I detest this method of controlling children... - but out of shame, drunk, anger, right away when they get home from work - check out those statistics again, dear stupid fucking pastor.

I understand you are really upset , but I disagree strongly with your assumption that it all rests on the father if he isn't successful enough to provide a middle class standard of living for the family.

As a mom who would have LOVED to have been a stay at home mom, but couldn't financially, it wasn't because my husband didn't work - it 's because I live in a high cost area and in order to pay the bills and get by you need 2 incomes. And virtually every family I know who are my parents generation down to young 20 somethings starting out do the same thing. When the kids are infants/toddlers mom might stay home for a couple of years while pregnant/breastfeeding, if they are really lucky - but then the vast majority have to get a job. And it isn't because their husbands "can't provide".

And yeah, day care and nurseries would be awesome - but most couples do a combination of help from families, a little bit of paid day care - and, for the most part, switching shifts so that one parent is home when the other is at work. Which, fyi, sucks for a marriage - but at least leaves the parents taking care of their kids themselves.

Also, in the current economy, traditionally female jobs took much less of a hit and are much more likely to be stable than traditionally male jobs, and being more stable and more likely to be 'office' type jobs which, at least in the U.S. is hugely important because your health insurance is based on your job.

And I'm not talking about having two incomes to provide luxuries and college for the kids and exotic vacations and a huge house. I'm talking about having two incomes to provide decent food and a reasonable apartment and a modest amount of activities and an occasional outing for fun.

So yeah, saying - " hey dude, get a better job' and letting women off the hook for helping to provide is simplistic .