"Dear Me" - A 23 year old SAHD's letter to her self... WOW

[Buzzard]

oftrimsandfrillsandfurbelows.blogspot.com/2012/09/dear-self.html

Buckle the fuck up before you read this one, its so full of WIN I dont even know where to start! First, a little background for the newbies around here. Feel free to skip if you're up to date on the "Sherry" saga.

Sherry of the seemingly defunct bealivingsacrifice.blogspot.com has her own brood of children. She "trains them" by pretending to go on trips to the supermarket, having them remain silent for the majority of the day, drapes EVERYTHING in pink and lace, and seems to feel that the Victorians had it right. Her blog is still up, just not updated, and has some awesome gems, all snarked on here.

Alexandra is the eldest daughter. She is obsessed with Les Mis and Charles Dickens. Her pseudo erudite musings are usually boring as hell - until now... She also thinks she can sing and posted a thread of a les mis rendition not too long ago. Her blog was full of kool aide to the point that it oozed out of the keyboard.

The family has gone pretty much dark since their church was dissolved - but we're back... in pink, frilly, flashing, awesomness. I hate to snip some of this out because its all awesome, but here goes... I like to think we had something to do with this, but its unlikely...

Let’s see…we’ll start with basics. First off, get rid of the horrid glasses. Whatever possessed you to think they were cute? Nine years from now you’ll look back on your fourteen-year-old pictures as “The Bad Yearsâ€. While you’re at it, throw away that atrocious teal pleated skirt you had. Thank you.

The fact that you would even put that picture up there scares the hell out of me. No 14 year old should be walking around in public, dressed like that, CARRYING A DOLL! You're not 6 and why is one of your random siblings in a sailor's hat?

I know you really think Mom’s decorating style is too old/antique-ish and cluttered, but in nine years you’ll be completely in love with it. Your fashion style’s going to be very much different than it is at this moment, too. I know you want to wear heels right now, but that time’s going to come…and you’re going to love it passionately. Pink’s always going to be your favorite color, that never changes, but you’ll get an insane love for animal print, especially leopard. Also the whole loving frills thing.

DA FUQ?????

All of a sudden, marriage is a big issue to you. And let me tell you, you kind of make it a much bigger deal than it really is. You’ve just discovered YLCF, and you’re loving all the courtship stories and articles on it and things like emotional purity and all that. You’re just beginning to delve into ideas like “putting your emotions to sleep†and “unrealistic expectations†and hooking onto them line and sinker. Proclaiming your “never been kissed†status from the rooftops and just itching for someone to ask you out so you can tell them to their face that you don’t date, like all the other girls your age you’re making a list of 101 Rules for a Perfect Courtship, and got it perfectly planned in your head how every step must go. And let me tell you, sweetie, that it’s going to cause a lot of grief later on.

HMMM???? Is there a disturbance in the force?

First of all, that little boy who for the past five years has made your heart flutter like nothing else but yet makes you feel so guilty that you might be “giving your heart awayâ€â€¦please, don’t sweat it. First of all, in two years he’s going to end up with someone else and you’ll have your first mini heartbreak, going around singing “On My Ownâ€, which you’ll hear for the first time that year, BTW. And you know? It’s not going to kill you. Your heart’s perfectly fine. Second, you’re not giving your heart away, that’s all silliness. More on that in a second.

Yes, yes, the will is strong in this one... Someone better send her Prissy's video really fast, her heart, pieces of it, FLYING AWAY!!!

Relax on those 101-Perfect-Courtship rules. They’re not inspired Bible, they’re theories. And what’s more, in nine years you won’t even agree with most of them. Yeah, so you will still believe in some of the principles, but the severe, 'dogmatic' stuff…not so much. You’ll realize that emotional purity is totally overhyped, that enjoying romantic movies and idolizing fictional heroes isn’t going to kill you, ruin your purity for your husband, or give you a warped view of men, love, or marriage. That verse about awakening love when it desires? Out of context. What’s more, those girls that you so look up to on the Internet are all going to realize and say the same thing.

Stop sticking your nose in the air, hon, and proclaiming that the first man you are in a relationship with is the man you marry. Because let me share something with you. You’re going to have a courtship…oh…eight years from now. A very nice, godly young man…textbook courtship scenario. A young man with wonderful character and likeminded doctrine, but someone you have no “feelings†for. And God’s going to use it to turn all your theories on their head. It’s easy for you now to say that love and attraction and emotions don’t come into consideration with courtship, that “all that matters is if he’s a Godly manâ€, but just you wait, fourteen-year-old Ally, just you wait. You’ll be sorry, but your tears will be….anyway. The point is, you’re going to end up not marrying this young man, because despite what a perfect situation it may seem, it’s not the Lord’s will. Yes, ma’am, you’re going to have a courtship that doesn’t end at the altar. And guess what?

It’s going to be ok. It’s not a sin. It won’t make you less of a person. You won’t defraud him or yourself by it or mess up your relationship with your husband someday because you were in a relationship with a man you didn’t end up marrying. That’s all hogwash, honey, and I wish you could have learned that sooner. It’s perfectly all right. What this is going to do is show you just what the Lord wants you to learn about it, learn about how God doesn’t work inside those boxes we build and insist He fit in. But I just wish you could have learned it then, and not had that Pharisaical attitude that you picked up without meaning it. A lot of that stuff you preached so eloquently…well, you’re going to have to eat your words.

OK, wait, during the time this family went dark did someone kidnap this kid and teach her to use independant thought? HOLY FUCK! I just... no words... :dance: :clap: :dance: :clap: :dance: :clap: :dance: :clap:

There’s going to be so much in the next nine years, Ally. You’ll go traveling all over the country, meet people who will change your life, have your beliefs tested and refined over and over, move to a foreign country, and begin to do things you never thought you’d do. You’ll become quite the nerd, so don’t go bashing the silly action and sci-fi movies, because someday you’ll love them. As for the romance, someday it will be your obsession. You’ll fall in love with British miniseries and television. You’ll eventually love kissing scenes, too, so don’t bash those too hard, either. You’ll start a blog, and that’s another thing – I wish I could warn you now to please don’t preach on those theories that you haven’t gotten a chance to actually live yet. You have no idea how embarrassed you’ll be by your old blog. Someday you’ll start a sewing one on the side…just on a whim – that will morph into something that will become a favorite hobby, and make many, many wonderful friends through it.

I have no words. She has seen the light and it is good!

When your friends talk about their moms’ miscarriages, thank the Lord for every healthy pregnancy your mom has…thank Him for each of the four siblings in the next few years that will arrive, healthy, safe and sound. You’ve no idea how painful it will be losing the fifth to miscarriage. Just because it hasn’t happened yet doesn’t mean it never will.

Poor kid. Growing up in a bubble, realizing now that the things she held dear are a farce and trying to reach back in time.

[acheronbeach]

Aw, this is great. I've been missing Sherry's pepto-bismol Battenburg-lace word vomit... and Alexandra's word vomit is a great substitution!

[Chrystal-J]

That's one of the longest letters I've ever seen. She had a lot to say to herself (from 9 years ago).

[quaterofaquiver]

Wow thanks so much buzzard for the history I am a newby!

[ILoveJellybeans]

Wow, good to see this woman has now seen the light, got out there and is having fun.

[Effie]

I'm impressed by her intellectual and emotional growth.

[pixydust]

WTG Alexandra!!!! :clap: :clap: :clap: :dance:

[smores]

I'm really happy for her. Self-realization is in short supply among her peers, but this girl knows that she's right. High fives to her!

[slh12280]

Wow! I was confused while reading this because I thought this could not possibly have been written by her! Awesome!

[Sobeknofret]

I have to wonder whether or not her self-realization will extend to her giving up SAHD-hood and going to get a decent education.

[Annette]

It's good that she has evolved from the purity/courtship stuff, but I was kind of disturbed that the most important development in her life in the past 9 years seems to be TV miniseries and accessories.

[dawbs]

It's good that she has evolved from the purity/courtship stuff, but I was kind of disturbed that the most important development in her life in the past 9 years seems to be TV miniseries and accessories.

Yeah, I spent the first half of the letter doing the confused spaniel head-tilt of "how is a blog-letter that focuses on the favorite color staying the same and 'I'm embarrassed at my old fashion sense [which, really, is part of the human condition. Dear mom, please burn every photo of me from ages 14-19]' and 'grow up slower/don't wear makeup or earrings!' going to be full of win? Most of this sounds like tweaks to the same smug she probably had 10 years ago"

There is a lot of win but...there's also still a lot of smug w/ how she is currently.

(Maybe I"m just being judgmental today.

At 24, I'd probably have told my 14-year-old self to do some things differently.

At 34, I'd tell my 14 year old self to ignore my 24 year old self and do different things differently.

At 44, I'm hoping I like the advice I'd have given at 34, but, who knows?

It just sounds more 'sure' than I like to see.

And the 'don't wear earrings/makeup/heels to soon!' rubbed me all wrong.)

There is a lot of win. And a lot of 'catch up' to do in the growing up department--which is what happens when 14 YOs are expected to be grown-ups on one side of the coin and babies on the other side of the coin.

[Buzzard]

I need to know more about this failed courtship as well as the boy that made her heart pitter patter. Why has she denied us this information????? Considering her mother was still spouting out poop from her mouth at the same time she was having this personal reckoning what the fuck is going on in that house right now???

The church is gone

Mom stopped her incessant blathering

Weird brother has been silent for more than a year

Alexandra saw the light on the courtship BS (related to the church failing???)

I can only hope that she reads here and can learn from those that have escaped homes such as hers. It can be done! You can be free! This kid belongs in college!

[green]

While I am very glad that she is finally starting to see the light.. I still think she is very childish.

Just last year her birthday party had a "Tangled" theme. (Complete with tangled barbie dolls as a present!)

alexandra-thevalueofone.blogspot.com/2011/05/birthday-day.html

Silly me! I thought "Tangled" was evil... :naughty:

Of course, she shares her birthday with her brother.. (Maybe that is why Sherry named him Alexander?)

I need to know more about this failed courtship as well as the boy that made her heart pitter patter. Why has she denied us this information????? Considering her mother was still spouting out poop from her mouth at the same time she was having this personal reckoning what the fuck is going on in that house right now???

The church is gone

Mom stopped her incessant blathering

Weird brother has been silent for more than a year

Alexandra saw the light on the courtship BS (related to the church failing???)

I can only hope that she reads here and can learn from those that have escaped homes such as hers. It can be done! You can be free! This kid belongs in college!

Me too! I think that she knew from the beginning that the courtship would not be sucessful. She wrote:

Faith. Such a huge concept. Something the Lord has been bashing me over the head with lately (you know, like that slightly annoying every-single-Bible-passage-you-read-and-sermon-you-hear kind of thing). My faith is really so pitifully weak. Circumstances, things that have happened in the past year (which Lord willing I'm planning on eventually sharing here...the time has come, the walrus said...and all that) can weaken our faith, but it's up to us to decide if we're going to let them continue to weaken it or make us stronger

Or maybe she is just so in love with her literary romantic heroes no man ever can compare to them:

I desperately do not want a run-of-the-mill guy and a run-of-the-mill romance and a run-of-the-mill marriage. I want it to be life-changing. History changing. And you know? That's something worth waiting for.

oftrimsandfrillsandfurbelows.blogspot.com/2012/08/random-weekend.html

[Buzzard]

Dear Weekend - you came way too fast. Please refrain from doing so next week.

:doh: :think: :doh: :think:

I guess we shouldnt read too deep into her thought process considering she dislikes weekends. WTF?!?

eta - link

oftrimsandfrillsandfurbelows.blogspot.com/2012/09/little-letters-or-yet-another-random.html

[VVV]

:doh: :think: :doh: :think:

I guess we shouldnt read too deep into her thought process considering she dislikes weekends. WTF?!?

eta - link

oftrimsandfrillsandfurbelows.blogspot.com/2012/09/little-letters-or-yet-another-random.html

Too much church, maybe?

[freejoytoo]

I'm slightly disturbed that she was carrying a doll around in a doll pushchair at 14.

[Buzzard]

I'm slightly disturbed that she was carrying a doll around in a doll pushchair at 14.

Its not surprising, considering they dress up like friggin candycanes in matching pajamas for christmas. Poor girl doesnt have much of a chance. This is HUGE progress. I cant wait to see her newer posts!

bealivingsacrifice.blogspot.com/search/label/Q%20c%29%20Christmas%20traditions

[Vex]

My burning question from all of this: Which Doctor Who is she talking about with the adorable smile? Personally, I think many of them had adorable smiles.

That was a DOLL? I thought it was one of her baby siblings! Oh dear.

I was JUST thinking about Sherry so this is awesome to see. I was missing her brand of insane pinksparklevomit. How the hell did someone so simpering bring up a girl with so much spunk (*doesn't mean what some Americans think it means*)?

[Buzzard]

My burning question from all of this: Which Doctor Who is she talking about with the adorable smile? Personally, I think many of them had adorable smiles.

That was a DOLL? I thought it was one of her baby siblings! Oh dear.

I was JUST thinking about Sherry so this is awesome to see. I was missing her brand of insane pinksparklevomit. How the hell did someone so simpering bring up a girl with so much spunk (*doesn't mean what some Americans think it means*)?

"Spunk" - from urban dictionary:

Spirit; pluck. Considering it is also a vulgar term for semen, it is rarely used in its normal form due to the obviously easy possibility to misinterpret it.

"That athlete shows a lot of spunk on the soccer field"

"What?!"

"He shows a lot of spirit and determination"

"Oh."

I knew what you were saying, though! Alexandra has always seemed to be wiser than her years and educational background. Its so sad because, had she been given the opportunity to go to college, she likely would have been an incredible academic. I could see her majoring in literature and becoming something. RUN ALEXANDRA, RUN!

[Vex]

"Spunk" - from urban dictionary:

Spirit; pluck. Considering it is also a vulgar term for semen, it is rarely used in its normal form due to the obviously easy possibility to misinterpret it.

"That athlete shows a lot of spunk on the soccer field"

"What?!"

"He shows a lot of spirit and determination"

"Oh."

I knew what you were saying, though! Alexandra has always seemed to be wiser than her years and educational background. Its so sad because, had she been given the opportunity to go to college, she likely would have been an incredible academic. I could see her majoring in literature and becoming something. RUN ALEXANDRA, RUN!

I have had that reaction more than once, believe me! That's why whenever I use 'spunk' I also post a disclaimer. In Australia, spunk doesn't just mean sass/spirit or semen - it's a bit outdated now, but many people still refer to a cute guy as 'a spunk'.

[freejoytoo]

I can't hate on her for having a Tangled birthday party. Yeah, it's a children's film, but I enjoyed it!

I really want to know about the failed courtship.