“I was attacked by a pig online�

[Burris]

Whenever a community link-up occurs on one of the fundie blogs I follow, I usually take a look, clicking on titles that catch my eye. (People have to submit their own articles to these link-ups, which makes what I'm about to show you all the more snark-worthy.)

The link-ups are usually mundane: A mixture of mothering and marital advice, housekeeping tips, recipes, a few give-aways, and the occasional political or philosophical post.

But this morning I found something different – a unique peek behind the female fundie façade of 'sweet speech' and 'sweet fellowship.'

Even knowing there's a substantial amount of whitewashing and fakery that goes on within the fundie subculture, it's still a little shocking to see such candid anger and bitterness openly displayed.

I found a blog called The Alabaster Jar: “Encouraging, equipping, and inspiring Godly women, wives, and mothers.â€

The featured post, dated January 16, 2012, is called, “I was attacked by a pig online.â€

Without first offering any explanation for her situation, author Jolene tosses her confused readers – us - right into the middle of a desperate rant.

Her first sentence:

I am laughing hysterically at the thought of that image...

I can only assume Jolene is referring to the image of being gored by a pig – although I'm not sure why such a thing would occasion laughter.

...but the sad thing about it is, I KNOW the story and it is not funny. In fact, it is sad and therefore the title can be very offensive!

In other words, it's okay to call someone else a pig if she offends you badly enough.

Here's what set Jolene off:

A woman who proclaimed to be a Christian commented on my post, the 3 Types of Wives, while it happened to be posted in a non-christian forum by someone I did not know.

Here was her comment,

Now, that doesn’t sound like an attack does it? She’s just making a statement about her life, but then she goes further into examining my life. In a slight way she discredits what I am saying because she is a Christian, working woman and so is her pastor’s wife and obviously because my husband and I have lost everything then that must make us unwise and not very bright Christians to boot! At least that is how she presented her argument.

In looking through Jolene's biographical sketch, I can see why the comment angered her.

After having left an abusive marriage, Jolene met and married another man. Perhaps as a result of her feeling more comfortable and stable in this new relationship, she then dropped out of college:

I never finished college (I have about one semester left) and I have chosen not to complete my degree because I would rather learn to be a Godly woman, wife, mother and keeper of the home.

Unfortunately, things didn't turn out quite as Jolene had hoped. She became ill after the birth of her first child and never fully recovered.

And then, like so many other people during this recession, she and her husband lost their “dream home.â€

Over the last 18 months, she and her family have had to move four times.

We've asked this question before on FJ: What happens to fundie women, some of whom have no work history or marketable skills, when the family is crippled by financial hardship?

In this case, the answer appears to be, “They become angry.â€

I have done the best that I could possibly do to share my heart with all that I write and I was sad to hear this woman couldn’t see my faith in the Lord through all of my trials, not to mention all the miracles Christ has done on our behalf. (I believe that in itself is worth much more than a paycheck!) Instead, she found it appropriate to share her distaste in my decision-making for my life in front of hostile, non-believers who do not have eyes to see nor ears to hear.

I'm genuinely curious as to what Jolene fears non-Christians will see in her posts and in her life.

Certainly some of them would sneer at her, asking where her God is now, but most folks outside the insular, stifling world of fundiedom would empathize with Jolene's emotions because pretty much all of us have experienced them at one time or another.

Unfortunately, rather than settling down to develop a coherent response to the original commenter, Jolene opted for passive-aggression:

My first instinct was to respond to her in all my pig-likeness. Oh how I wanted to roll in the mud like the swine and snort at her all day long!

But instead I prayed....

Then I thought to myself, “Would I be advancing the Kingdom of God or would I be hindering it if I responded to her in the forum?â€

Should I respond to her Lord?

He clearly spoke to my heart when he said,

Daughter, don’t throw your pearls before pigs.

Oooooh, BUUUUURNNNNN!

So instead of responding at the forum in question, explaining her own point of view, Jolene decided to post some name-calling on her own blog (where she can control the responses) – all the while continuing to assume people who don't share her faith could never possibly understand any part of her situation:

That hurt my heart. To hear her [the other commenter] throwing another Christian sister under the bus and in the worst case-scenario….. in front of those who were hostile towards the Word of God.

...whereas Jolene has shown herself to be a paragon of Christian love and self-control.

She goes on to say it's unfortunate the other woman thought she should get a job rather than staying at home with her kids.

What for?

So I can eat out at Taco Bell more often?

...or stay living in one place for more than five months?

Notice how Jolene focuses only on minutia, such as her inability to afford Taco Bell, rather than looking at the big picture concerning her financial situation.

It's unclear whether she's specifically trying to misdirect the attention of her audience, here, or merely to bamboozle herself.

She continues on in this way, saying it would be far easier for her to find a job than to maintain the strict discipline of relying on God for everything - the implication being that she is just so much more faithful than all those working mothers.

...except the truth – and Jolene probably knows it, on some level – is that it would not be easy for her to find a job.

And if she did end up working for minimum wage somewhere, that might actually be less financially practical for her – daily travel costs, after-school care, etc. - than merely staying home.

Despite her own precarious situation and questionable choices, however, Jolene has enough unfettered pride to continue bashing the other commenter:

What about those who knew the Bible, like the Scribes and Pharisees? We never read of Christ sharing the gospel of God’s love with them.

That's right: Jesus wouldn't have answered the snarky commenter to her face. He would have bitched about her on his blog.

Come on! Seriously?

There's an element of learned helplessness among women in the fundie subculture, as if life were something that merely happens to them without their own conscious, active participation.

It's unclear how this attitude can co-exist with the congratulatory self-absorption of Jolene's post, and yet somehow it has.

[nimerha]

That's right: Jesus wouldn't have answered the snarky commenter to her face. He would have bitched about her on his blog.

:clap: Burris, I wish you would write a book about these people. It would be very, um, encouraging to me.

[formergothardite]

Wow, overreaction much!

[Austin]

Wow, overreaction much!

This reminded me of that one blogger who claimed that an email someone sent her made her lose her baby. :roll:

[Spider Burps]

This reminded me of that one blogger who claimed that an email someone sent her made her lose her baby. :roll:

LULWUUUUUT?! I must've missed that one!

[Defrauding Errday]

She dropped out of college one semester before graduation because she got married. Unless they were already having money troubles, wouldn't she want to finish what she started?

[2xx1xy1JD]

Here's my translation:

I don't want my life to be analyzed by others, even though I myself put it into the public realm and expect people to read it.

If you make a critical point or suggest that there are any decisions that could have been better, then instead of defending those decisions I'll scream and cry that you are mean and horrible. After all, that's what lots of insecure and manipulative people do, Christian or not, especially if they have the emotional maturity of a teenager.

I believe that I am a speshul snowflake. If someone can't see that I have a direct line to G-d as the most faithful ever whom he loves the bestest, then they must be a pig.

[Miss M]

LULWUUUUUT?! I must've missed that one!

I am trying my best to remember who what blogger was!!

[JesusFightClub]

LULWUUUUUT?! I must've missed that one!

The strangest thing was that it wasn't even a rude email!

She basically lost a baby (perhaps) very early in pregnancy and claimed it was the shock of receiving this very polite and conciliatory email which caused her to miscarry. She picked a name for the baby and the story metamorphosed into the woman deliberately sending her the email to kill her baby. Concerned FJists contacted her local police force when she started threatening the "murderer"'s children, and the blog was taken down.

[2xx1xy1JD]

I just read about her relationship with her mother:

joleneengle.org/2011/11/11/not-all-mothers-and-daughters-get-along-part-1/

It all makes sense now....

Add to my previous translation, "you said something that reminded me of how my mother spoke to me, which triggered all sorts of bad memories and repressed rage. I can't call my own mother a pig, but I can take that anger and direct it at you".

[margiebargie]

She continues on in this way, saying it would be far easier for her to find a job than to maintain the strict discipline of relying on God for everything - the implication being that she is just so much more faithful than all those working mothers.

...except the truth – and Jolene probably knows it, on some level – is that it would not be easy for her to find a job.

And if she did end up working for minimum wage somewhere, that might actually be less financially practical for her – daily travel costs, after-school care, etc. - than merely staying home.

There's that and what a blow to the ego. Right now, she may be broke and borderline homeless, but in her own mind she's some godly muckety-muck whose got it all figured out. If she gets some minimum wage job, she's just a working slob like the rest of us. Worse - she's earning much less than she would have if she had finished her degree and/or had some work experience. Even worse - its like she's admitting defeat. The godly way didn't work and now she has to work like all the other scribes/pharisees/unbelievers. Oh the humiliation.

[Spider Burps]

The strangest thing was that it wasn't even a rude email!

She basically lost a baby (perhaps) very early in pregnancy and claimed it was the shock of receiving this very polite and conciliatory email which caused her to miscarry. She picked a name for the baby and the story metamorphosed into the woman deliberately sending her the email to kill her baby. Concerned FJists contacted her local police force when she started threatening the "murderer"'s children, and the blog was taken down.

Wow. That's absolutely insane! Thanks for cluing me in--I had no idea that it was possible to be so bonkers. Well, I did, but you know what I mean. :lol:

[ladypuglover]

Everytime I see this thread title I keep thinking that some poor person was just minding their business while surfing the web when a random pink piggy attacked them. I just keep wondering how some pig like Babe could do such a thing. :(

[fakepigtails73]

I am trying my best to remember who what blogger was!!

Oh yeah, that blog was beyond bizarre. The woman (she claimed that she was a psychologist) had a miscarriage at 6 weeks gestation, named the baby (Steve?) and was all resentfull over a woman she had an online fight with. She claimed that the emails made her lost the baby. While miscarriages are sad, she really seemed to have crossed the sanity line over hers. If I'd be the other woman I'd worry for my safety.

I don't remember the name of the blog, but we made a thread about it around 1 month or 2 ago.

(excuse my crappy writing today, I'm super tired so typos and bad grammar abound in my posts.

[Sinister Rouge]

Ahhh, the email abortion. That would be Franki: viewtopic.php?f=8&t=5986&hilit=franki#p146699

[Spider Burps]

Ahhh, the email abortion. That would be Franki: viewtopic.php?f=8&t=5986&hilit=franki#p146699

I was out of town for the holidays when that was posted. I'm so sad that I missed it because, damn it, I want to read her blog and it's private now :(

[Jezebel]

I was out of town for the holidays when that was posted. I'm so sad that I missed it because, damn it, I want to read her blog and it's private now :(

If you use a blog reader, try subscribing to it--any posts that were publicly viewable before she went private should show up in your reader.

[The Archivist]

I was out of town for the holidays when that was posted. I'm so sad that I missed it because, damn it, I want to read her blog and it's private now :(

Google Cache has gotcha covered:

https://webcache.googleusercontent.com/ ... ay-17.html

(hope that link works!)

ETA - some more:

https://webcache.googleusercontent.com/ ... -life.html

https://webcache.googleusercontent.com/ ... tober.html

https://webcache.googleusercontent.com/ ... lowns.html

And here is one where she goes into (a little) detail about how her unborn baby was "murdered" (in her words):

https://webcache.googleusercontent.com/ ... ittle.html

This archive page probably has the most info, though:

https://webcache.googleusercontent.com/ ... chive.html

Just Ctrl-F for "murder"

[jenny_islander]

Back to the OP: Methinks the lady doth protest too much. Or perhaps, Thus conscience doth make cowards of us all.

To any supporters lurking here, here is a list of things that actually constitute attacks on Christians:

*Living in a non-Christian country that restricts your job opportunities to picking trash from the municipal dump and feeding it to your pigs, which are your only source of protein. Then the government comes and kills all your pigs. Not an attack: having somebody tell you that they don't approve of your apparent decision not to seek paid employment when your family is in dire financial straits. (Google: Zabbaleen.)

*Being arrested on a capital charge: talking about Christianity. Then being told that you might escape the death penalty--if your lawyer can cop an insanity plea. Because in the eyes of people who have the power to condemn you to death, in order to become a Christian you have to be either insane or evil. Not an attack: being told, "I'm Christian too, and I don't believe that all Christians must make the decisions you made." (Google: Afghan Christian persecution.)

*Having this headline about your country: "Christians Hope for Less Attacks This Year During Christmas." By which they mean having their clergy shot and bombs set off in their places of worship, not being disagreed with on the Internet. (Google: Nepali Christian persecution.)

American, Canadian, Australian, and British Christians are among the most comfortable Christians in the world. We do not bear a good witness to the world when we flail about being attacked because somebody says something we don't like.

Also: Calling a person who disagrees with you a pig? Contemptible. Puerile. Stop it.

Off to copy this to the OP if possible.

ETA: Wait--is that against the forum rules here?

ETA2: Never mind; I should have known that she would be pointed here anyway.

[O Latin]

Everytime I see this thread title I keep thinking that some poor person was just minding their business while surfing the web when a random pink piggy attacked them. I just keep wondering how some pig like Babe could do such a thing. :(

I opened this thread really, really hoping it had something to do with Angry Birds.

[darkplumaged]

I never finished college (I have about one semester left) and I have chosen not to complete my degree because I would rather learn to be a Godly woman, wife, mother and keeper of the home.

Yeah, well. I'd prefer to be a lady of leisure, lounging about my oceanside mansion and eating chef-prepared food at every meal, but it hasn't worked out that way. Sounds like--gasp--entitlement to me! Is Jolene an ebil socialist welfare queen?

Just Ctrl-F for "murder"

:lol:

[Spider Burps]

If you use a blog reader, try subscribing to it--any posts that were publicly viewable before she went private should show up in your reader.

I tried that and couldn't subscribe. Booo. :(

Google Cache has gotcha covered:

https://webcache.googleusercontent.com/ ... ay-17.html

(hope that link works!)

ETA - some more:

https://webcache.googleusercontent.com/ ... -life.html

https://webcache.googleusercontent.com/ ... tober.html

https://webcache.googleusercontent.com/ ... lowns.html

And here is one where she goes into (a little) detail about how her unborn baby was "murdered" (in her words):

https://webcache.googleusercontent.com/ ... ittle.html

This archive page probably has the most info, though:

https://webcache.googleusercontent.com/ ... chive.html

Just Ctrl-F for "murder"

Hah! Awesome. Didn't think to search for the blog on Google! Thanks :D That lady is her own special brand of crazy. WTF was with all of the blog posts poorly translated into other languages? Baffling.

[Mama Mia]

That attitude drives me insane. I don't think this has anything at all to do with her religious beliefs .. this is just her plain defensiveness because she doesn't feel she should have to get a job. Suck it up lady.. if you want to be an actual helpmeet to your husband don't leave him floundering when you don't have enough money to pay your freaking rent - why place all that burden on him ? You can work opposite shifts if you need to... or if you feel that strongly about never having a regular job put up an ad and do childcare, or go clean houses or something - anything .. just bring in some damn money. If you could afford to stay home that is great - but if you are having to constantly move because you can't pay the rent - you can't afford to stay home. Not that complicated.

[ThisOlGirl]

Hey look, we've been called out(bolding mine):

I just wanted to say thank you for writing this post. I actually found your blog after reading about this post on a non-Christian forum. They were mocking you there (of course), so I came over to read the entire post and judge for myself whether you were being harsh or judgemental towards the other woman by making a blog post about her comment. It was a breath of fresh air to me to see that your post was not written to be harsh but rather to encourage those facing similar criticism. And you have encouraged me greatly with this post. What the non-Christians that posted to mock you meant for evil, God has used for good. It brought me here to read your testimony and be encouraged. I will certainly be reading more on your blog. Don’t let the naysayers get you down or stop you from sharing your testimony!

Irene

February 1, 2012 at 12:56 pm

Everyone wave to Irene(and probably Jolene) Hi Ladies!

I'm a little upset we didn't get called hags.

[Burris]

I just wanted to say thank you for writing this post. I actually found your blog after reading about this post on a non-Christian forum. They were mocking you there (of course), so I came over to read the entire post and judge for myself whether you were being harsh or judgemental towards the other woman by making a blog post about her comment. It was a breath of fresh air to me to see that your post was not written to be harsh but rather to encourage those facing similar criticism. And you have encouraged me greatly with this post. What the non-Christians that posted to mock you meant for evil, God has used for good. It brought me here to read your testimony and be encouraged. I will certainly be reading more on your blog. Don’t let the naysayers get you down or stop you from sharing your testimony!

Irene

February 1, 2012 at 12:56 pm

My post was mild compared to what I originally wrote.

Jolene got the attention she wanted - and, indeed, the attention she deserved.

She not only posted about her "argument" in a venue where the "pig" could not answer, rather than on the forum where it happened, but also ensured greater traffic for her stupid rant by submitting the tirade to home-making link-ups for additional readership.

That's dirty pool, and childish.

But then Irene - oh hai, dipstick - comes along to tell Jolene her rant was "a breath of fresh air" and oh-so reflective of these Christian values I keep hearing about:

J: "Love, charity, forgiveness? Oh, fuck you! That pig suggested I get a JOB!!!1!!!!!!"

I: "Oh, how refreshing! Your words are like balm for me - oh, and so more dirty pigs are, like, totally persecuting you on another board too."

Fresh air. Jolene's post stunk like an open grave containing not only its rightful occupant but also the accumulated waste from a nearby outhouse.