When Religious Virgins Finally Marry

[sriracha]

I happened to catch this cringe-inducing show last night before heading off to New Year's festivities. This couple, raised as Christians, have never even so much as kissed each other before their wedding day; the wedding itself and their first hugely grotesque kiss were captured for everyone to see. Which I thought is to everyone's advantage so people can see just how horrifying it is when two infantilized adults attempt adult activities. When these two were at the playground discussing their impending wedding night, it was like listening to two five-year-olds talking.

http://popwatch.ew.com/2011/12/05/virgi ... ere-react/

If possible, I recommend catching the entire ep on Hulu or the like just to experience the full-on pathology that results when sex-obsessed religionists brainwash their children and instill unhealthy attitudes in them about sex. Jezebel gives the appropriate rundown: http://jezebel.com/5865057/everyone-was ... in-diaries

Maybe cringe-inducing isn't even the word. When your daughter kisses her new husband like she's trying to chew his face off, you know there is something wrong. Then again the bride's dad's "fly on the wall" comment should also tell you something.

[Sola]

Is this the one where they virtually eat each others faces? I think we've discussed this before. Personally I found it gross.

[Maul the Koala]

Is this the one where they virtually eat each others faces? I think we've discussed this before. Personally I found it gross.

Yeah it is.

If anyone watches the show Four Weddings on TLC (I know, I know) there have been at least two couples who were waiting for marriage and one of the couples on the last episode had their first kiss at the altar. What I find puzzling is how sexually charged they make the weddings seem. I don't know if it's editing or if that's actually how the wedding is. One it was "Sexsexsexsexsexsex, we're going to have sex tonight! Look at us! We waited!". The other one last week the groom was motorboating the bride and mauling each other the entire night. So inappropriate.

[sriracha]

I'm brand spankin new, I should have put a "sorry if this was posted before" on the bottom... Now I'm all motivated to watch Four Weddings. What a trainwreck.

The whole thing was gross and horrifying...and SO mentally/emotionally unhealthy. Us heathens and our premarital sex are supposely so bad, but why is this sex-obsessed BS preferable?

[Witsec7]

These folks don't learn anything reality based about sex and relationships. They have no healthy models to look to. They are primarily exposed to extremes, i.e. sex before marriage turns you into a drug addicted whore who has numerous abortions for convenience or their status quo of wait until marriage.

Naturally without these girls knowing how to bring themselves to orgasm its neigh impossible for their husbands to do the same. I should think it would take a long time (under these circumstances) for these couples to have gratifying sex lives.

[Feberin]

My BIL and SIL got married in May and waited to have sex until their wedding. Or actually a few months afterwards since they weren't ready to on their wedding night. My husband had to finally have a little talk with his brother (this was at our SIL's request) and explain a few things before they actually had sex. They're also very socially awkward people and it was practically an arranged marriage. In that my MIL and a friend set them up because both were almost thirty and never dated. They aren't fundies or anything and my BIL didn't even go to church regularly before he got married.

[sriracha]

I almost feel sorry for these kids because the letdown the day after was written all over their faces. Since they never got any accurate information about sex, everything they know is from TV fantasyland. Shanna is an absolutely horrible kisser and I think Ryan's relative indifference turned to a barely-concealed regret. I wonder if they'll divorce...

It kinda reminds me of the Duggar Wedding episode where boob busted out the sex info book for Joshie ON the wedding day itself - he couldn't have given him the book a few weeks in advance so he'd have a chance to actually read it before it was needed?

[moreorlessnu]

My BIL and SIL got married in May and waited to have sex until their wedding. Or actually a few months afterwards since they weren't ready to on their wedding night. My husband had to finally have a little talk with his brother (this was at our SIL's request) and explain a few things before they actually had sex. They're also very socially awkward people and it was practically an arranged marriage. In that my MIL and a friend set them up because both were almost thirty and never dated. They aren't fundies or anything and my BIL didn't even go to church regularly before he got married.

Do you think the problem was lack of information or lack of attraction between the 2?

[Buzzard]

[*]

I almost feel sorry for these kids because the letdown the day after was written all over their faces. Since they never got any accurate information about sex, everything they know is from TV fantasyland. Shanna is an absolutely horrible kisser and I think Ryan's relative indifference turned to a barely-concealed regret. I wonder if they'll divorce...

It kinda reminds me of the Duggar Wedding episode where boob busted out the sex info book for Joshie ON the wedding day itself - he couldn't have given him the book a few weeks in advance so he'd have a chance to actually read it before it was needed?

If he gave it to him in advance he might have impure thoughts! THE HORROR!

[finleeport]

Honestly, the Virgin Diaries show gives me a bad name. I am a 23 year-old virgin who has never dated before but I personally don't give a damn. Oh I have had my own fantasies and whatnot, I just never was interested in dating or thinking about sex all the time. After all, life does not revolve around sex.

[bananacat]

My BIL and SIL got married in May and waited to have sex until their wedding. Or actually a few months afterwards since they weren't ready to on their wedding night. My husband had to finally have a little talk with his brother (this was at our SIL's request) and explain a few things before they actually had sex. They're also very socially awkward people and it was practically an arranged marriage. In that my MIL and a friend set them up because both were almost thirty and never dated. They aren't fundies or anything and my BIL didn't even go to church regularly before he got married.

I wonder if one or both of them is asexual. Were they happy with their lives before they were pushed together, or is this something that they wanted? Some people can lead fulfilling lives without wanting sex or even romance, and plenty of people will attest that marriage isn't necessary for happiness. I just really hope both of these people wanted to be set up and that they weren't pressured into something they didn't truly want.

[genericJname]

I have some acquaintances who waited until engagement to kiss. (This guy had originally intended to wait until marriage to kiss, but changed his philosophy after his mother told him that girls have a hard time transitioning from a first kiss to intercourse in a few hours. :lol: )

They were awful about PDA the whole time they were engaged. They had roomates in their respective homes who they would make really uncomfortable, constantly making out. Then after they got married, this guy would talk about awkward sexual stuff all the time. :doh: Like telling a story about condom shopping to a church group :?

I think that when things are so repressed, people tend to have no boundaries on what is appropriate or not.

[gustava]

I almost feel sorry for these kids because the letdown the day after was written all over their faces. Since they never got any accurate information about sex, everything they know is from TV fantasyland. Shanna is an absolutely horrible kisser and I think Ryan's relative indifference turned to a barely-concealed regret. I wonder if they'll divorce...

It kinda reminds me of the Duggar Wedding episode where boob busted out the sex info book for Joshie ON the wedding day itself - he couldn't have given him the book a few weeks in advance so he'd have a chance to actually read it before it was needed?

Very cool icon...or whatever it's called

[GenerationCedarchip]

I 've known a few couples who waited until the wedding (or at least until engagement) to kiss. I think things really varied depending on what kind of sex ed they had at home. Some people seemed like the couples you mention here where pretty much all they had been taught was that sex was against the rules and then when they could do it all of a sudden, they were torn between practically letting loose at the reception and having no clue what they were doing. And yes, even fundies think it's pretty tacky.

However, I also knew some who not only grew up with these values, but who had a healthier view of sex and didn't think of it as something bad. They just had the idea that there's a time and a place (places?) for it. And in their minds, the time was after the wedding - and they had enough sense not to go at it during the reception. The second group of couples seemed a lot happier being married from what I've seen.

[Angri-la]

It sucks. Been there, did that for Jesus. We kissed, had obscene handsex, and I earned my hideous white dress, thankyouverymuch. Thank goodness we didn't know anything, so it took us awhile, but probably not as long as people who dated. It sucked, never got better, and the horrible sex life was blamed on me.

Now I am married to a good guy, who I tried out before we wed. He was great, and just gets better.

If staying a virgin is your thing, great, as long as it is your choice, and you are happy about it. I think my first husband used his relgion as an excuse for his disinterest in women, and I was young, dumb, and drunk on biblical koolaid.

[bubbabearzle]

I had to wonder about the face-eating bride: her family seemed a lot more progressive in that area (her dad was creepy as hell, stating that he wanted to be a fly on the wall on the wedding night to see how awkward it would be). Also, when they were first talking about kissing, it sounded to me like she had kissed others before, which shocks me after seeing her technique, LOL! Her sister also seemed to be more open, too - I almost have to wonder how she ended up being so much more conservative than her family members....

Oh, and the morning after part was so sad, but I had to laugh because after she said it had hurt he got a sly little smirk on his face like, yeah - I did that -)

[Sola]

BTW, can someone fill me in on what happened during Smuggars Lego sex talk with Jimboob?

[CanadianHippie]

BTW, can someone fill me in on what happened during Smuggars Lego sex talk with Jimboob?

All I can remember is JB saying it's like legos and me thinking "yeah, you need more than two to have any fun!"

[Avalondaughter]

Honestly, the Virgin Diaries show gives me a bad name. I am a 23 year-old virgin who has never dated before but I personally don't give a damn. Oh I have had my own fantasies and whatnot, I just never was interested in dating or thinking about sex all the time. After all, life does not revolve around sex.

Well, that's the difference here. It's your CHOICE to not have sex. I'm all for people waiting for marriage to have sex if that's what they feel is best for them. Sex is a very personal thing and no one should tell you where and when you have it and with whom.

If you were saving yourself because you felt that you "owed" your husband the "gift" of your virginity, then my hackles go up.

[fencesitter]

I knew some some one who saved their kiss for their wedding day. Then after the ceremony as everyone is waiting for the couple at the reception. They were no where to be found. The mom's looked and looked and finally found them in a janitorial closet with the wedding coordinator "guarding" the door going at it. How humiliating! I agree with previous posters that it seems like some of the "waiters" have no sense of boundaries once they are married. They think "we're married so we get to do and say anythign about S-E-X!"

[keen23]

I just found out that my 2nd cousin, who is getting married in May, will be an almost 40 year old virgin on his wedding day. His bride-to-be is NOT one. She wants kids right away. My Mom (brain bleach moment) wondered aloud if he could even get it up or not.

[sriracha]

It sucks. Been there, did that for Jesus. We kissed, had obscene handsex, and I earned my hideous white dress, thankyouverymuch. Thank goodness we didn't know anything, so it took us awhile, but probably not as long as people who dated. It sucked, never got better, and the horrible sex life was blamed on me.

Now I am married to a good guy, who I tried out before we wed. He was great, and just gets better.

If staying a virgin is your thing, great, as long as it is your choice, and you are happy about it. I think my first husband used his relgion as an excuse for his disinterest in women, and I was young, dumb, and drunk on biblical koolaid.

Your story is very similar to mine, I married a hypocrite fundy (we slept together before marriage and it wasn't great but I was a virgin and didn't know any better and thought I could steel myself for being married and expected to put up with it). He was insanely selfish in bed, I hated sex with him so he mostly emotionally withdrew, although I think he was resentful about it. He had a lot of unhealthy beliefs about and contempt for women, and the "Gays Should Be Put To Death" syndrome as well. He'd give PP a run for his money in the kook department. When I finally couldn't take anymore Fundyland bullshit and left, I slept around and had some fun before settling on my amazing current boyfriend who is AWESOME in every way, and I am not sorry one bit about any of it. Oy the sex hangups in fundyland, they can't help but suck in bed and have miserable sex lives.

[2xx1xy1JD]

Your story is very similar to mine, I married a hypocrite fundy (we slept together before marriage and it wasn't great but I was a virgin and didn't know any better and thought I could steel myself for being married and expected to put up with it). He was insanely selfish in bed, I hated sex with him so he mostly emotionally withdrew, although I think he was resentful about it. He had a lot of unhealthy beliefs about and contempt for women, and the "Gays Should Be Put To Death" syndrome as well. He'd give PP a run for his money in the kook department. When I finally couldn't take anymore Fundyland bullshit and left, I slept around and had some fun before settling on my amazing current boyfriend who is AWESOME in every way, and I am not sorry one bit about any of it. Oy the sex hangups in fundyland, they can't help but suck in bed and have miserable sex lives.

Maybe the issue is less about virgins marrying than it is about marrying assholes who are either sexist homophobic pigs or in the closet.