Miss Raquel writes the worst movie reviews ever

[formergothardite]

Seriously, the girl can't write a move review. The one for Sherlock Holmes has these lines in it:

On Sherlock Holmes:

He totally fit the part.

Except (according to a friend of mine) he isn't tall enough. :P haha

On Irene Adler:

I'll say that she's a good actress.

But I don't necessarily like her.

Does that make sense?

On Mary Morstan:

She has some super fun outfits in this movie too!

She and Watson are just adorable together ;) ::squeals::

And a random bit of trivia about Miss Raquel:

I know, I'm a girl and I like seeing guys get beat up...?? What's up with that? ;) :?

http://god-sdaughter.blogspot.com/2011/ ... olmes.html

After reading that, don't you just feel like you learned so much about the movie? And this was one of her better reviews.

[donks]

Would God's daughter really go see Robert Downey Jr in a Hollywood movie? RDjr is/was a major druggie and Hollywood is the root of all evil.

[lilwriter85]

That review is really bad, she writes worse reviews than the Paralyzed Mormon blogger.

[dairyfreelife]

I am going to try my hand at a review in her style (no pics-sorry. :( )

I totally saw Elf the other day and I love that movie :squee: !!!!

Will Ferrell as Buddy the Elf.

He is totally right for the part. He just fits the part so perfectly, but according to my friend his hair is too curly. :P

But I don't really like him as an actor, but he fits the part-does that make sense?

He works so well with James Caan here.

They do so well at keeping Buddy confused about his world.

Zooey Deschanel as...Jovie!

The picked a perfect choice when they picked her to act in this film. She just fits the part.

There is a slightly inappropriate scene in here (they kiss before they are married! :o )

I love Jovie and Buddy together they are just so cute. :Squeals: The tree kiss was so cute!!! :D Squeals!!!!

Mary Steenburgen as Emily Hobbs! I just love her outfits!!!!

The Elf costumes at Gimbel's are so cute. :D

I just love seeing the little person and Will beating each other up-I am just so wierd. :P

Also, this movie had "magic" in it so if you don't like that stuff, you might not like this movie.

Oh, and there's this cool scene where, I hope I'm not giving anything away, hehe, Buddy decorates a store-it is so neat! Love!!!

If you like Christmas movies about Santa, comedy stuff, funny characters and a bit of romance drama as well, you will just LOVE this movie!

-Not trying to mock Raquel here. I just wanted to try it since I wrote movie reviews for a communication class I had at college and I can flat out tell her-that's talking about a movie-not a review of one. A review is an analysis of a film, book, writing, art piece, etc. It's about your own thoughts, yes, but it requires stepping outside the box and thinking critically about what scenes, lines, conversations, images, etc. are trying to convey to you by the author, writer/director, creator, etc. and what you saw as a result-whether you liked the film, book, exhibit or not. Going "It's the worst/best movie ever!!!" is not a good review.

[ChunkyBarbie]

This God's daughter would like to see Robert Downey Jr. naked. Just sayin'! I saw the first movie and that Is all I remember.

[skankbiscuit]

This God's daughter would like to see Robert Downey Jr. naked. Just sayin'! I saw the first movie and that Is all I remember.

Oh my goodness. This. He is the most gorgeous man alive.

[crazyforkate]

I'm majoring in film studies. Wanted to die a little inside upon reading this. Oh, Raquel, you are so, SO young.

[kunoichi66]

Would God's daughter really go see Robert Downey Jr in a Hollywood movie? RDjr is/was a major druggie and Hollywood is the root of all evil.

This is off-topic, but 'is a druggie?' I thought he had stopped taking drugs?

[skankbiscuit]

This is off-topic, but 'is a druggie?' I thought he had stopped taking drugs?

He was - but he has been clean for several years now. Happily married and expecting a little boy soon :)

[Dinorah]

I don't think a bunch of pointless comments interspersed by photos deserves the name of "film review."

Anyway, one thing I like about Miss Raquel is that she doesn't seem to think that just about any form of secular culture is evil.

[debrand]

I tried to do one for Lord Of The Rings but I only came up with a few lines.

I really don't like Orlando Bloom . He has a weird name. I don't know why his parents named him after a city in Florida. I don't like him as an actor but he is totally right for this part. I hope that made sense :oops:

A shrunk down Elijah Woods was so cute. I could have kissed him. :D Not that I ever would kiss anyone but my husband. :oops: :?

The love story between Arwen and Aragorn was so adorable. :mrgreen: Squee! There is some inappropriate cuddling between the two :o I just looked away from the screen.

OMG, I love Arwen's outfits!!!!!11!! 8-)

[emmyfair]

Dosen't she have a horse to chase or something?

[formergothardite]

That horse is just brought out for pictures. I kind of doubt she visits him very often. He think he didn't turn out to be the shiny toy she thought he was going to be.

[donks]

He was - but he has been clean for several years now. Happily married and expecting a little boy soon :)

Good for him if he's clean and congrats on the baby. I wasn't sure if he was still clean or not, I'm not really a RDjr fan... I'm partial to Johnny Depp myself, but hey! to each his or her own I guess.

[donks]

That horse is just brought out for pictures. I kind of doubt she visits him very often. He think he didn't turn out to be the shiny toy she thought he was going to be.

This KILLS me, because it's probably true.

A horse, especially a young horse like the one she has, needs daily handling. Every horse regardless of age, needs fed 2x daily (of course), groomed at least once a day, feet picked out at least 2x a day. If she's not doing right by him, I wish she'd give him back to whoever had him before.

[formergothardite]

Miss Raquel is a weird mixture of normal teen and purity obsessed fundie. It is just odd and kind of scary that at first glance she seems so normal but hidden behind that is some crazy beliefs.

[Lostie]

Miss Raquel is a weird mixture of normal teen and purity obsessed fundie. It is just odd and kind of scary that at first glance she seems so normal but hidden behind that is some crazy beliefs.

This.

She seems like a normal (rather boy obsessed) teenage girl, but then you get some of her beliefs. And she becomes a lot less normal and a lot creepier.

[formergothardite]

And the blogs of her real life friends show she runs around with a pretty fundie crowd. She's friends irl with the guy who doesn't think slavery was that bad. And the other guy who used "retarded" and "gay" as insults and then called us mean hags or somehting like that.

[FuManchu]

Looking forward to her review of War Horse.

[formergothardite]

I'm looking forward to her review of the second Sherlock Holmes. I haven't seen it and I'm pretty sure that after reading her review I will still know nothing about it.

[masagoroll]

I can't WAIT to see the new Sherlock Holmes! I hope I will get to during my week off of work.

OK, I haven't seen the second one, but I bet this aspect is the same as the first one...the real adorable couple are Holmes and Watson! Hello! You don't even need slash goggles to see that one. Give them wives and girlfriends all you want... I will secretly ship it!

Raquel confuses me. She doesn't seem outright DUMB, but she completely lacks any analytical skills in her writing.

[formergothardite]

I think she is just really poorly educated. She would probably not be that bad of a writer with a better education.

[Daenerys]

I think she is just really poorly educated. She would probably not be that bad of a writer with a better education.

I agree. People don't tend to have the urge to write loads and loads unless there's some spark underneath. It's a pity she appears to use a browser without spellchecker though, as that would so improve her writing.

[masagoroll]

I was looking at her blog and found something really weird on her bucket list:

have a child with blue eyes

1) WTF? Why blue?

2) I hope someone in her family has blue eyes, then, because it is not so easy for a brown-eyed person to have a blue-eyed kid. Is she going to make a rule for her "esposo" that he must have blue eyes to donate his blue eye genes?

[Daenerys]

I was looking at her blog and found something really weird on her bucket list:

1) WTF? Why blue?

2) I hope someone in her family has blue eyes, then, because it is not so easy for a brown-eyed person to have a blue-eyed kid. Is she going to make a rule for her "esposo" that he must have blue eyes to donate his blue eye genes?

FWIW, my brown-eyed father and blue-eyed mother managed to have one child with blue and one with green eyes! You'd think one of us would have ended up with the darker genes but apparently not...