Endless Duggar Praise Loop

[houseworksucks]

First time posting, long time lurking, and wanted to introduce myself. I'm VERY liberal, atheist, and UU. However, the Duggars fascinate me... maybe it's a byproduct of growing up in the bible belt (albeit to atheist parents).

 

This is my very favorite thing about the Duggars:

 

(from the House Rules:)

 

3. Always be enthusiastic and look for opportunities to praise others' character.

4. Always deflect praise and be grateful to God and others for the ways they have benefited your life.

[AnnoDomini]

That would be funny if it weren't disturbing. Way to teach your kids that nothing they do is praiseworthy. I was raised with the belief that I had to take responsibility for anything bad I did (as it was from my sinful nature), but couldn't take credit for anything good I did (for anything good came from God). Makes it hard to deal with bad self-esteem and negative self-talk.

[lauracat7]

Just another example of the Duggar motto, "Do as we say, not as we do...."

[Beeks]

I get that humility is important but I can't stand it when people actually DEFLECT praise. To me it would more humble to just say "thank you" if somebody praises you legitimately instead of saying "oh no no NOOOOO, it's all about JESUS!" or something.

[gustava]

Wonder how this actually works?

Jinger to Jessa: You did a nice job of perming my hair. Thank you.

Jessa to Jinger: Jesus guided my hand. I was led by the Lord and give thanks unto him for all he brings into my life. Let us kneel and praise the Lord together for leading me to move my hands to perm your hair.

[MrsYoungie]

That would be funny if it weren't disturbing. Way to teach your kids that nothing they do is praiseworthy. I was raised with the belief that I had to take responsibility for anything bad I did (as it was from my sinful nature), but couldn't take credit for anything good I did (for anything good came from God). Makes it hard to deal with bad self-esteem and negative self-talk.

So it's the exact opposite of how God works. He's to get all the credit for good stuff but none of the blame for the bad stuff, right?

Wonder how this actually works?

Jinger to Jessa: You did a nice job of perming my hair. Thank you.

Jessa to Jinger: Jesus guided my hand. I was led by the Lord and give thanks unto him for all he brings into my life. Let us kneel and praise the Lord together for leading me to move my hands to perm your hair.

I would totally puke if I had to talk like this all day all year - ARGH!!! It's so "Handmaid's Tale".

[houseworksucks]

Jessa to Jinger: You did a nice job of praising me for perming your hair. Thank you.

Jinger to Jessa: Jesus guided my hand. I was led by the Lord and give thanks unto him for all he brings into my life. Let us kneel and praise the Lord together for leading me to move my words to praise the way you permed my hair.

And so on. :lol:

[debrand]

I get that humility is important but I can't stand it when people actually DEFLECT praise. To me it would more humble to just say "thank you" if somebody praises you legitimately instead of saying "oh no no NOOOOO, it's all about JESUS!" or something.

I agree. It is difficult for many people to accept compliments gracefully. Deflecting the praise only makes the person giving the compliment feel uncomfortable. The correct response to praise is a polite thank you.

[debrand]

First time posting, long time lurking, and wanted to introduce myself. I'm VERY liberal, atheist, and UU. However, the Duggars fascinate me... maybe it's a byproduct of growing up in the bible belt (albeit to atheist parents).

This is my very favorite thing about the Duggars:

(from the House Rules:)

3. Always be enthusiastic and look for opportunities to praise others' character.

4. Always deflect praise and be grateful to God and others for the ways they have benefited your life.

How can you always be enthusiastic? That sounds unhealthy. In order to be always enthusiastic, you'd have to hide a good deal of your own thougths and opinions.

[jaynie]

I agree. It is difficult for many people to accept compliments gracefully. Deflecting the praise only makes the person giving the compliment feel uncomfortable. The correct response to praise is a polite thank you.

I can't quite remember where I heard this, but I've heard it said that it's actually quite rude to be "polite" in the sense of deflecting compliments, because if someone tells you you did an excellent job at something, or that you look nice, or whatever, and you say, oh, no, not at all, what you're actually doing is telling the person that they're wrong, which sort of makes them look stupid. A polite thank you is much more gracious. Not sure how this works in the context of deflecting the praise to jesus specifically, though...

[debrand]

I can't quite remember where I heard this, but I've heard it said that it's actually quite rude to be "polite" in the sense of deflecting compliments, because if someone tells you you did an excellent job at something, or that you look nice, or whatever, and you say, oh, no, not at all, what you're actually doing is telling the person that they're wrong, which sort of makes them look stupid. A polite thank you is much more gracious. Not sure how this works in the context of deflecting the praise to jesus specifically, though...

I think that deflecting the praise to Jesus would sound false.

First person: what a lovely dress

Second person: Praise Jesus that god gave me good fashion sense

It sounds obnoxious, doesn't it?

[doggie]

So it's the exact opposite of how God works. He's to get all the credit for good stuff but none of the blame for the bad stuff, right?

they blame god indirectly. God's ways are mysterious god is testing us and so on.

[gustava]

I can't quite remember where I heard this, but I've heard it said that it's actually quite rude to be "polite" in the sense of deflecting compliments, because if someone tells you you did an excellent job at something, or that you look nice, or whatever, and you say, oh, no, not at all, what you're actually doing is telling the person that they're wrong, which sort of makes them look stupid. A polite thank you is much more gracious. Not sure how this works in the context of deflecting the praise to jesus specifically, though...

It was difficult for me to learn to accept praise or compliments and say a simple Thank You. i have read that it tends to be difficult for women in particular. Fortunately, Jesus hasn't been a factor for me.

[thoughtful]

How can you always be enthusiastic?

:cry: