Atheists Who Go to Church:Doing It For The Children

[lilwriter85]

http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/headlines/2 ... -children/

 

Very interesting article. I know a couple of people who are doing that too.

[Cran]

I'm an atheist and I go to church for my own pleasure. I like the music, the incense and many of the readings, and while I do not believe the rituals and sacraments like the eucharist have any deeper meaning, I enjoy them because they are deeply moving to me on their own accord.

Needless to say, I only go whenever I feel like going and make sure I go to a church that is visually pleasing to me (translate to: old and lots of gold).

[Avalondaughter]

I get what you mean about that. I sometimes enjoy the ritual and understand the intent and meaning. I guess I'm still a bit more agnostic than atheist and still hold on to my pagan days.

If you really want to give your child some religious direction and instruction, but are an atheist, why not join a group like Unitarian Universalist or Ethical Culture Society? These are "churches" and have people of diverse religious backgrounds in them.

[emmiedahl]

Maybe they are attending UU churches?

I had kind of a similar problem--there is no Jewish community here, and my husband is disillusioned with Catholicism, and we just wanted a CHURCH, not a religion. The UU thing has worked out very well for us (and I never would have tried it were it not for members of FJ. So there ya go, the evil Godless ones are contributing to getting my butt in a pew on weekends.)

[JuJuBee]

I also think (non-crazy-fundie) churches provide a lot of social connections and can be especially good for people who don't have a lot of family or friends. I'm an agnostic, and my family didn't go to church very much growing up. I'm grateful that I've been able to develop my own beliefs without having them forced on me, but I also felt that I missed some of the social connections that my peers had. This probably had a lot to do with growing up in the South, where everyone was always involved in church activities. As my boyfriend is a strong atheist, though, I doubt we would still ever take any future kids to church.

[Athena]

As an atheist, I've enjoyed attending the Catholic masses with my mom and grandma. It is a way for me to do something with them that they like doing and I like the singing too. I do always feel as though I'm about to be "outed" though. Like the priest can tell I'm godless or something. ;)

[celestial]

I also went to a UU church for awhile (before I moved to a different city) and it was full of mixed-religion families and families in which the parents were atheists but wanted the children to make up their own minds and wanted some kind of additional moral instruction for them. It was great to have such diversity of backgrounds in the church.

[dawbs]

I also think (non-crazy-fundie) churches provide a lot of social connections and can be especially good for people who don't have a lot of family or friends.

I think this can be key...

One of the reasons I attend church is so my kid gets some good socialization that I don't have easy/cheap ways of getting for her.

I'm kinda using them :oops:

[Sola]

I've done it. My daughter wanted to start going to church a few years ago so I took her. We went most Sundays for around a year or so then she decided she didn't want to go any more. She still wants to go to special services such as Christmas, Easter and Harvest festivals so we go to those. But she is becoming more atheist in her views - I've always left it up to the kids on what they believe, just taught them from an academic perspective so they can make their own minds up.

My son once wanted to go to a mosque, so I took him there too.

[latraviata]

As an atheist, I've enjoyed attending the Catholic masses with my mom and grandma. It is a way for me to do something with them that they like doing and I like the singing too. I do always feel as though I'm about to be "outed" though. Like the priest can tell I'm godless or something. ;)

Same here. Nothing trumps a sung Latin mass.

I am listening to Haydn's creation as we speak.

And boy, I am an atheist!!

[latraviata]

Maybe they are attending UU churches?

I had kind of a similar problem--there is no Jewish community here, and my husband is disillusioned with Catholicism, and we just wanted a CHURCH, not a religion. The UU thing has worked out very well for us (and I never would have tried it were it not for members of FJ. So there ya go, the evil Godless ones are contributing to getting my butt in a pew on weekends.)

A church without religion??

You might as well join a bridge or a debating club.

[Terrie]

My dad is an atheist who goes to church for the community. I don't think it's that odd. And if parents are claiming that kids can chose for themselves, they have an obligation to expose them to a wide range of beliefs. You can't pick what you don't know.

[emmiedahl]

A church without religion??

You might as well join a bridge or a debating club.

It sounds that way, but it is not that way. We already have religions (plural) in my house and for various reasons are not able to be part of a religious community in our area. The first time I went to the UU church, the minister gave a sermon on dealing appropriately with anger and my children learned about seeing things from a different perspective in the Sunday school class. That pretty much sums up what I have experienced with the UU ever since. In my limited experience, the UUs make morality/ethics their "religion" and you can believe what you want. So there is no conflict with Judaism or Catholicism, and we get that religious experience.

Also, they are just nice, open-minded people who love to have a cup of coffee and chat. My kind of people.

[Avalondaughter]

I just rememember how someone once referred to the Ethical Culture Society as "Atheists with Kids". :-)

[annalena]

My parents said they had us christened at children so we wouldn't feel left out, because everyone did it (1984, 1987).

I would really love to go to a place where issues are discussed weekly, that has a nice sense of community and provides some spiritual guidance. Just minus the religion crap.

Hey! I see a niche here.

[tkr322]

I am agnostic and we are involved in our church (Episcopal). Our child has been baptized and our future children will be, too. I do not believe and when my kids are older than can choose if they want to believe or not. I enjoyed growing up in a church atmosphere though and I want that for my kids, too. Plus I love the music and tradition. The Episcopal church is very welcoming and open so no one is not welcome regardless of what you believe. I definitely agree with that article and that's why we take our kids.

[Arielkay]

My husband is cradle Church of Christ. I met him while visiting a friend at the church. I was raised by liberal anti-organized religion parents, but I wanted some socialization and in a small Bible belt town, try finding some without going to a church related activity. We married and I tried to convert, but I just didn't buy the crap. I also finally realized that I wasn't being a good example because I was especially opposed to their stance about women not being leaders in the church. So I quit going, but my husband still takes our girls. They are still young, though, and while I don't knock Christianity or point out my atheistic beliefs, I do ask them to think. I tell them that I don't go to church because I believe women should be able to do whatever they want, and that the Bible does NOT say they must keep their mouths shut in church. If they make some bold statement about what they learned in Sunday School, I ask why, and if that makes sense. And I read to them from other religions. My eldest especially loves Greek Mythology. Eventually, I will tell them more about my beliefs.

I do feel more spiritual when there is beautiful singing, and am attracted to Catholic churches for that reason, but to be honest, it's not worth it for me to endure the stupid sermons on stuff that doesn't make any sense to me. And while the people are nice, they are can be pushy with their attempts to indoctrinate you, and that makes me very edgy.

[xDreamerx]

I was raised Anglican and my mother was one (kind of loosely) but my dad is agnostic bordering on atheist. When my parents split and I chose to live with him, he continued to take me, which I thought was nice. I think he did it because he feels religion teaches children morals, but for me it was just nice to have my parent supporting me. My aunt is hardcore atheist. I say hardcore because she won't even listen to people talk about religion, she leaves the room. I feel sorry for her daughters because they really want to go to church and end up having to go with their grandparents or other families because she won't take them. I understand she doesn't believe but I feel like you should support your children in what interests them, even if you disagree with it (provided it won't harm them). Kudos to the people from the article.

[Kitten]

Same topic, from CNN:

http://religion.blogs.cnn.com/2011/12/0 ... &hpt=hp_t2

Interesting quotes:

One of the most interesting findings, according to Ecklund, was that some atheist scientists want to expose their children to religion due to scientific reasoning.

"We thought that these individuals might be less inclined to introduce their children to religious traditions, but we found the exact opposite to be true," Ecklund said. "They want their children to have choices, and it is more consistent with their science identity to expose their children to all sources of knowledge."

...not only did they introduce their children to one church, but they also attended other religious services in the hope that the children would better understand each denomination.

Wow. What a concept! Giving their children the knowledge and experience they need to make their own decisions as they become adults. :o

[dawbs]

I was raised Anglican and my mother was one (kind of loosely) but my dad is agnostic bordering on atheist. When my parents split and I chose to live with him, he continued to take me, which I thought was nice. I think he did it because he feels religion teaches children morals, but for me it was just nice to have my parent supporting me. My aunt is hardcore atheist. I say hardcore because she won't even listen to people talk about religion, she leaves the room. I feel sorry for her daughters because they really want to go to church and end up having to go with their grandparents or other families because she won't take them. I understand she doesn't believe but I feel like you should support your children in what interests them, even if you disagree with it (provided it won't harm them). Kudos to the people from the article.

I can imagine it's not very hard to think that exposure to religion may actually harm your kids.

[Jezebel]

From the article:

Sixty-one percent of the participants described themselves as either atheists or agnostics, and 17 percent of the non-believers had attended church more than once in the past year.

Atheists and agnostics get lumped together far too often. But they aren't the same thing at all--not even close. Atheists believe there is no God, end of story. Agnostics believe there might be (or might not be) a God, but whether there is or not, and how that God works in the lives of humans (or doesn't)? That's unknowable. There is room for both belief or doubt, either way.

So lumping the two groups together as non-believers makes no sense at all. Atheists are non-believers, but agnostics really aren't. Not-knowing is not the same as not-believing.

What I'd like to know, then, is this: Are agnostics more likely to take their kids to church than atheists? Because from my own (admittedly limited) experience, I suspect this is the case.

[jaynie]

I think this must vary from country to country or something...I'm a perhaps-somewhat rare example of a fourth generation atheist (possibly even further back than that on all sides, though the records get a bit fuzzy), so there was never a sense of tradition or obligation that my parents had to send me to some kind of church, and I never felt I was missing something by not going. Of course, on the few occasions that a friend invited me along I found the experience quite tedious and surreal. But most of the people I knew growing up were sort of apathetically religious, and very few went to church for anything other than easter/Christmas, if they even went then, so it isn't like all of my friends got this bonus community experience and I was left playing on my lonesome. We did ethics and so fourth in school quite enough, without all of the religious stuff mixed in.

On the atheism/agnosticism note, I think you'd find a lot of people debating your definitions, Jezebel. Most of the atheists I know would say that atheism/theism and agnosticism/gnosticism are two different scales, the first being about belief and the second being about knowledge, and that you've got a place on each. So you can be a gnostic theist (you "know" for certain there is a god), a gnostic atheist (you "know" for certain there isn't), or an agnostic atheist (you don't think we can know, but you don't experience any belief in a god) or an agnostic theist. Practically it looks a lot like that old political thing with left-right on one axis and authoritarian-libertarian on the other.

In my experience (anecdata alert!) few atheists would define themselves as gnostic in their belief -- they almost always leave a little wiggle room for doubt, no matter how remote. As well, a lot of atheists call themselves agnostic in public because it's seen as less intimidating and confrontational. That's probably why they're lumped together. You'd probably get more accurate results if studies had categories like "no-opinion", "non-believer", and "don't know", instead of using terminology which many people find confusing...

(Sorry if I haven't made a lick of sense...it's late here and my mind has half fallen asleep from reading too many scientific papers...also - I'm a newbie, so, hello! :D )

[lra07]

Yup, Jaynie has got it right

[celestial]

A church without religion??

You might as well join a bridge or a debating club.

Except of course that bridge and debating clubs are dedicated to the pursuit of very specific hobbies, while UU churches are dedicated to the pursuit of moral and spiritual truth. Both activities are valid, and fulfill very different human needs, if you ask me.

[Guest Anonymous]

edit: sorry posted on wrong thread!