M is for Mama 15

[Coconut Flan]

Continued from here:

 

[SuperNova]

Ah, that new thread smell. Just waiting to be filled with Abbie's failures.

Let's kick it off with Abbie needing her teenagers to defend her breeding fetish to their peers. I do agree with her that people should keep their rude comments to themselves, especially with a teenager who has no say in how many siblings they have. It's unfortunate that her kids have to deal with that sort of criticism. Even so, it's not their job to defend her choices. It would be more beneficial to teach teenagers not to worry about other people's opinions, to be comfortable with themselves and their own family life. Every interaction doesn't need to become a Jesus teaching moment for the other party. And telling your son to call someone Bruh is next level cringe. Having your mom use words like that makes them instantly lame. Her attempts at being hip and cool are almost as bad as her parenting advice.

I belonged to the band boosters group when my daughter was in high school. We had a mom just like Abbie who really needed to be the cool parent and tried to talk slang with kids. It was hilariously bad. They all just humored her and laughed behind her back. It was an endless source of embarrassment for her daughter. Like Abbie, her attempts to be "with it" were always about six months behind which in teen years is like a decade. 

Spoiler

 

[JermajestyDuggar]

39 minutes ago, SuperNova said:

Ah, that new thread smell. Just waiting to be filled with Abbie's failures.

Let's kick it off with Abbie needing her teenagers to defend her breeding fetish to their peers. I do agree with her that people should keep their rude comments to themselves, especially with a teenager who has no say in how many siblings they have. It's unfortunate that her kids have to deal with that sort of criticism. Even so, it's not their job to defend her choices. It would be more beneficial to teach teenagers not to worry about other people's opinions, to be comfortable with themselves and their own family life. Every interaction doesn't need to become a Jesus teaching moment for the other party. And telling your son to call someone Bruh is next level cringe. Having your mom use words like that makes them instantly lame. Her attempts at being hip and cool are almost as bad as her parenting advice.

I belonged to the band boosters group when my daughter was in high school. We had a mom just like Abbie who really needed to be the cool parent and tried to talk slang with kids. It was hilariously bad. They all just humored her and laughed behind her back. It was an endless source of embarrassment for her daughter. Like Abbie, her attempts to be "with it" were always about six months behind which in teen years is like a decade. 

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She makes me cringe more than anyone on FJ. She tries so hard to sound hip and cool. I swear if she had gone to an actual high school, she would have a bit more self awareness and would realize how ridiculous she sounds. 

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

Quote

"Yeah bruh. And it's awesome.  (Which is exactly what he actually thinks .....

I don't believe her son actually thinks that for a nano second.  He's told that's what he should think, because his mom having all the bay-beez to totally "rad",   But awesome ...  Nah I don't believe he thinks that,  He's a BroDad. That's not awesome in the least.

Braggie, Braggie, Braggie.  Please don't lie. It makes Baby Jesus cry when you lie.

[SassyPants]

Actually, if the boy really thought it was rad to have 9 sibs, many of whom he must parent much of the time, he wouldn’t have mentioned this to his parents at all, and would have come up with a catchy comeback all on his own. Abbie is a lying liar who lies and gets her jollies off having babies whom she actually despises. She needs professional help.

[neuroticcat]

Even if her son thought differently, he's been taught not to complain. He's also been taught to suppress his feelings, so how does he even know what he feels? But the M.O. in these families is to tell kids what to think, act, or feel. Now, should it happen again, he'll likely feel guilty if he doesn't say what his mom told him to. 

QF ideology is so destructive anyway, but I have to wonder if in Abbie's case it's so much worse because her influencer lifestyle probably means she can't ever cave on it or relax. It's like the worst of both worlds - homeschooled QF with all the isolation and all the exploitation of putting your kids out in front of thousands with non of the (very small benefit) Duggars/Bates had of the show requiring them to be around other kinds of people. 

I don't think kids from these families linger once they grow up. Duggars/Bates have lots of ties with public pressure and money, but these kids - once one sibling is out, the others will be gone. The parents have chosen techniques that destroy all attachment. All the kids have left is duty/obedience/God wants this. When they outgrow the limited theological box they've been handed, there will be nothing tying them to their exploitative families except the sibling bond. 

It makes me so mad that it happens at all, but so incredibly mad at the people who propagate it - especially Abbie who is doing it for her own personal narcissistic ministry dreams and leading how many other families down this same road. Open your eyes, people! Look where the children raised in the firstgen of this movement of the 80s/90s are now. I read somewhere recently 1% of kids raised ATI are still in it as adults. Not sure how accurate that is, but it is FASCINATING and utterly predictable if so.

Edited November 15, 2022 by neuroticcat

[katilac]

She can't keep her story straight even in one post. 

First, it's new acquaintances treat him so well did they find out he has 9 siblings, and then their demeanor changes to scorn. 

Then, it's that she gets plenty of lovely compliments as well, and she thinks that it's usually just curiosity. 

Which is it? Is it mostly people being curious, or is it a constant parade of scorn? 

And why the fuck is this coming up in conversation so often? The scorn he's feeling might be more, dude, we do not care about your eleventy younger siblings, lol. It was quite unusual in high school for me to know how many siblings another student had, and vise versa. You might know if they happened to be neighborhood friends, or if they were friends that came to your house often, but mostly? We didn't care. 

Why is he bringing this into conversation with new people so often that it's worthy of note? Probably bc he's been taught that being one of ten is amazing and makes them special. Hopefully he improves his conversational skills. 

[danvillebelle]

If Ezra and Simon go away to college, or even go somewhere in Tyler and spend enough time on campus, they will find out really quickly that they're not as uber-special as Mama made them think they were, and nobody gives a flying fuck about your ginormous family.  It would do them some good.  The way she makes them sound sometimes, it seems like they must be really smug, but I realize that's probably just her projecting and not actually them.

[theotherelise]

Based on what they've said the past view months, Ezra wants to be a programmer like his dad. I don't think he's going to get out of the house. I think he's going to "apprentice" under his dad and then be employed by him. Abbie has gotten very vocal about schools being bad. Her personal vanity about going to college at 16 or whatever seems to be morphing into the idea that her kids are so educated and smart that they don't even need college.

The Antibot on YouTube grew up with missionary parents and was allowed to go to a christian university called LeTourneau University in Longview, TX. It's only about an hour away from where the Halberstadts live and purportedly has good engineering and computer science programs. I hope he can at least get out of the house that far.

 

[danvillebelle]

34 minutes ago, theotherelise said:

Based on what they've said the past view months, Ezra wants to be a programmer like his dad. I don't think he's going to get out of the house. I think he's going to "apprentice" under his dad and then be employed by him. Abbie has gotten very vocal about schools being bad. Her personal vanity about going to college at 16 or whatever seems to be morphing into the idea that her kids are so educated and smart that they don't even need college.

The Antibot on YouTube grew up with missionary parents and was allowed to go to a christian university called LeTourneau University in Longview, TX. It's only about an hour away from where the Halberstadts live and purportedly has good engineering and computer science programs. I hope he can at least get out of the house that far.

 

LeTourneau is a very decent school; I know several people who went there.  It is Christian but not in an overly fundie-type way.

[JermajestyDuggar]

Braggie’s idol used to be Jenny Flanders. I assume she still kind of is but Braggie’s biggest idol is herself. I used to think she would send her boys to college so she could be like Jenny Flanders. Jenny can brag she has many highly educated children she homeschooled herself. But now that Braggie had her mega ego boosted again by a first book and a new book deal on the horizon, she might just change her tune. And I could see her saying her kids don’t need college. Which is just crazy because her brother is a dentist. How does she expect these kids to make big bucks without a college education? 

[SassyPants]

Abbie is the female JB. These people have such fragile egos they absolutely can not have their kids outshining them in any way. Her kids will not be more educated or successful than she is. This is a woman who finds her oldest daughter’s sensitive side odd. What kind of mother would take to the www to talk about how she finds her own daughter’s sense of kindness and compassion to be grating? Remember how Dillard said when you do anything that questions JB’s way, he turns into an assh*le (my word not his)?  I imagine AH reacting the exact same way.

[feministxtian]

8 hours ago, SassyPants said:

What kind of mother would take to the www to talk about how she finds her own daughter’s sense of kindness and compassion to be grating?

An utter and total b*tch. Abbie doesn't give a shit about anybody but herself. Her kids are nothing more than props for her. "See, I'm just the ultimate mom, I have 10 kids and there's 2 sets of twins in there". Big fkng deal. I have 3 kids because I didn't want 4. I had 3 because I didn't want 4. When I was raising the steps and there were 5, man...it was NUTS. However, they weren't props, they were kids. Still love them like crazy but damn glad they're grown and most of them have kids of their own. My other stepdaughters, 1 is one and done and the other one is still single. J is one and done because she's aware that she doesn't have the patience for more than one (and she's a handful). Her one is her total opposite. J is an introvert, wants and needs quiet. One is a total extravert. 

Abbie hasn't got a kind bone in her body. She's about 13-14 emotionally. Me me me me. I'd kill for a cage match between her and JillR. 

[neuroticcat]

Abbie's stories today are a piece. of. work.

Apparently another Christian called her out in her DMs. Abbie didn't like it. So she decided to passive aggressively preach to her 150K followers how it's just not okay to not be gentle and winsome with our speech. How if people are emotional (and not logical) in their responses, then they are not obeying Scripture or are maybe not a real Christian or - and here's her aha! moment - are actually revealing their own blindspots. Her examples are: you might be correcting someone for being prideful...but that's b/c you are the prideful one; or correcting someone for their hypocrisy...but that's b/c you are the correcting one. Interesting.

I wonder what it reveals when you decide to judge the random follower who dared to call you out as probably-not-a-real-Christian? (it's not me, I was blocked long ago)

She also has this funny moment where she talks about how we just need to let the Holy Spirit do his job of convicting us...and that, well, maybe that could be through another person, but you have to pray about it and then "chew the meat spit out the bones." Pretty rich from someone who has made it a mission to be the Holy Spirit in other peoples' lives as well as be uncorrectable.  

[marmalade]

I'm new to Braggie. What's her background? I know she was homeschooled, so how did she end up becoming a Spanish teacher? Did she go to college? Was she raised IBLP or VF or some other fundie sect? 

She's definitely full of herself. Where did this monster come from? 

[danvillebelle]

4 hours ago, marmalade said:

I'm new to Braggie. What's her background? I know she was homeschooled, so how did she end up becoming a Spanish teacher? Did she go to college? Was she raised IBLP or VF or some other fundie sect? 

She's definitely full of herself. Where did this monster come from? 

She was homeschooled, she did go to college.  She was not raised in any kind of fundie sect, her parents are Messianic. She's a raging narcissist married to man who seems to be passive and indifferent to her shenanigans.  She grew up with one younger brother and we suspect a lot of pretty princess syndrome from her mother who still 100% enables her by basically being a third parent to her kids.  She is the undisputed queen of the humblebrag.

I would love to have been a fly on the wall of that DM, because you know the person was probably 100% right.  

 

Edited November 16, 2022 by danvillebelle

[JermajestyDuggar]

I know Braggie has a ridiculous amount of humpers. But there absolutely has to be at least a few Christian women who look at her humble bragging child hate filled rants and think to themselves, wow this woman is full of crap. It’s just too bad more don’t private message her. She would never listen to a heathen like me. But if multiple Christian women DMed her saying the same thing, she would have a narc melt down. 

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

10 hours ago, feministxtian said:

What kind of mother would take to the www to talk about how she finds her own daughter’s sense of kindness and compassion to be grating?

Brief info on this please.  How on earth did I miss that.  What a beyotch.

[SassyPants]

4 hours ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

Brief info on this please.  How on earth did I miss that.  What a beyotch.

I was the OP. I can’t remember if this was a post on her blog or on IG. And I think she has mentioned it more than once that her oldest daughter is a people pleaser, very calm and go with the flow. AH is bothered by that, as she can not relate. What’s really interesting is Shaun is absolutely calm and laid back (from what she shows), and she always mentions how he is her favorite person… Bottom line, those kids are her vehicle for getting more attention for herself. They are absolute props in a story. If not for her mom, older kids and occasionally Shaun, those kids would be neglected.

14 hours ago, neuroticcat said:

Abbie's stories today are a piece. of. work.

Apparently another Christian called her out in her DMs. Abbie didn't like it. So she decided to passive aggressively preach to her 150K followers how it's just not okay to not be gentle and winsome with our speech. How if people are emotional (and not logical) in their responses, then they are not obeying Scripture or are maybe not a real Christian or - and here's her aha! moment - are actually revealing their own blindspots. Her examples are: you might be correcting someone for being prideful...but that's b/c you are the prideful one; or correcting someone for their hypocrisy...but that's b/c you are the correcting one. Interesting.

I wonder what it reveals when you decide to judge the random follower who dared to call you out as probably-not-a-real-Christian? (it's not me, I was blocked long ago)

She also has this funny moment where she talks about how we just need to let the Holy Spirit do his job of convicting us...and that, well, maybe that could be through another person, but you have to pray about it and then "chew the meat spit out the bones." Pretty rich from someone who has made it a mission to be the Holy Spirit in other peoples' lives as well as be uncorrectable.  

FFS- she calls her own daughter out for being kind and gentle. And no one who is a regular on her blog, IG etc…would likely treat her with kid gloves. Her approach is awful and if she can dish it out, she can darn well expect the same treatment in return. FWIW, I would never, ever DM her. She does not present as approachable at all. 

[anachronistic]

So I know this letter wasn’t written by Braggie because it doesn’t mention her 2! sets of twins but it sure sounds like her. And most of the comments judge her just as the columnist did! Some even reference Quiverfull and the Duggars.

(first letter in this column)

https://slate.com/human-interest/2022/11/very-large-family-care-and-feeding.html

[JermajestyDuggar]

I do think it’s weird when strangers comment on a person’s family size. Although I do think very large families can lead to neglect and parentifying of siblings, I would never say that to some rando. 

[Cults-r-us]

On 11/15/2022 at 12:17 AM, katilac said:

She can't keep her story straight even in one post. 

First, it's new acquaintances treat him so well did they find out he has 9 siblings, and then their demeanor changes to scorn. 

Then, it's that she gets plenty of lovely compliments as well, and she thinks that it's usually just curiosity. 

Which is it? Is it mostly people being curious, or is it a constant parade of scorn? 

And why the fuck is this coming up in conversation so often? The scorn he's feeling might be more, dude, we do not care about your eleventy younger siblings, lol. It was quite unusual in high school for me to know how many siblings another student had, and vise versa. You might know if they happened to be neighborhood friends, or if they were friends that came to your house often, but mostly? We didn't care. 

Why is he bringing this into conversation with new people so often that it's worthy of note? Probably bc he's been taught that being one of ten is amazing and makes them special. Hopefully he improves his conversational skills. 

The tale of the peer scorning siblings could be fictional. It could have happened one time. I suspect there's some embellishment going on in the Braggie department, then making the poor kid sound socially incompetent online.

[SassyPants]

3 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I do think it’s weird when strangers comment on a person’s family size. Although I do think very large families can lead to neglect and parentifying of siblings, I would never say that to some rando. 

I agree, it is weird. I think it’s so unusual that some people think by making a comment they are acknowledging that the family is “special” or “unique” and therefore deserving of recognition.  

[JDuggs]

It looks like Abbie has joined forces with Joy Duggar and Kristen Young. Joy should pay a little more attention to the types of people she’s aligning herself with. I think Jessa is either a little more savvy or thinks she’s above forming alliances to do this.

  

 

Spoiler

 

 

  

[Leftitinmysnood]

On 11/15/2022 at 9:58 AM, theotherelise said:

Based on what they've said the past view months, Ezra wants to be a programmer like his dad. I don't think he's going to get out of the house. I think he's going to "apprentice" under his dad and then be employed by him. Abbie has gotten very vocal about schools being bad. Her personal vanity about going to college at 16 or whatever seems to be morphing into the idea that her kids are so educated and smart that they don't even need college.

The Antibot on YouTube grew up with missionary parents and was allowed to go to a christian university called LeTourneau University in Longview, TX. It's only about an hour away from where the Halberstadts live and purportedly has good engineering and computer science programs. I hope he can at least get out of the house that far.

 

I know a former homeschooler who attended LeTourneau and is now deep into robotic prosthetic development. It's actually a very good school.