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Counting on Season Four, Part 6


samurai_sarah

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@Lurky Good points. I'm a female bodied queer, and have always wondered how much -perspectives on sex would change if people were to approach sex education in the same way it is approached in resources for the queer community. For instance, I've met plenty of straight men who have not heard of the concept of barriers for performing oral sex on women (or rimming), and using gloves for digital penetration, yet when I first started going to my hometown's queer youth group, this was discussed.

I have a friend who was married to a trans man for a couple of years. She would always chuckle internally when medical professionals asked her about birth control or family planning stuff. There were also various ongoing jokes about her and her husband being the 'straightest gay couple in town' (he was a very hairy masculine guy, she's long-haired and feminine). She also had extended family members who had no idea her ex husband was trans, and who are now scratching their heads because she's having a child with a female partner.

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I have been a nurse for a million years and worked in several different areas of healthcare.  And, I can tell you that it is fairly common for people to lie or be in denial or perhaps uneducated as to whether they are sexually active.  It happens frequently that a young woman will deny being sexually active only to have them turn up pregnant.  It might be a case of denial, or in some cases, the young woman may be seriously uneducated as to what Sex is especially sexual activity that  can result in a pregnancy.  I thiNk pareNts Must do a better job with prepariNg their kids for what iNfo is asked at doCtor Visits or the ED  (ugh keyBoard is aCting up with Caps)

 

I am a pretty empathetic person, but I guess I am puzzled that questions like this are surprising to anyone.  And yes, we are taught to ask questions in more than one way because sometimes people lie, or sometimes they honestly forget and it takes asking the question in a few different ways to trigger their memory.  I don't mean this just about pregnancy, but health information in general.  I can't tell you how many times I have asked someone if they have high blood pressure and they answer no, but then you look at their list of meds and they are 2 different BP meds.  People forget,  and if they are in pain, or feeling unwell or anxious they lose focus.  Doctors and nurses ask many of the same questions of patients yet often the answers are very different.  People, for a variety of reasons, are not always super reliable, especially when stressed and when scared. 

The art of getting medical information is in how to ask.  You have to read your patient.  Some will do better with a very matter of fact tone and business like attitude, Others respond to humor, and many respond well to warmth and kindness.  But everyone is different.  My husband, just likes straightforward stuff and someone who is in his opinion over the top nice, bugs him   

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I remember being horribly embarrassed when I was a teenager and a doctor first asked me if I was sexually active. By the second visit with that doctor, I knew to expect the question, and I understood why it was important to ask me multiple times. It still embarrassed me, so I usually made a joke. "I promise doctor, you'll be the third person to know if I decide to start having sex!" 

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4 minutes ago, WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo? said:

I remember being horribly embarrassed when I was a teenager and a doctor first asked me if I was sexually active. By the second visit with that doctor, I knew to expect the question, and I understood why it was important to ask me multiple times. It still embarrassed me, so I usually made a joke. "I promise doctor, you'll be the third person to know if I decide to start having sex!" 

And then there is the reverse situation.  During a recent doctor's visit, I was embarrassed upon having to admit that I'm *not* currently sexually active... :my_blush:

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13 hours ago, calimojo said:

I can't tell you how many times I have asked someone if they have high blood pressure and they answer no, but then you look at their list of meds and they are 2 different BP meds.  People forget,  and if they are in pain, or feeling unwell or anxious they lose focus. 

I think there's also the thing about how people interpret the questions too.  So my dad might answer "Do you have high blood pressure?" with no, because the meds he's on have sorted it out, for example, and a kid who's had it drummed into their head that only PiV is "sex" might say no to "are you sexually active?", so I totally understand why healthcare practitioners ask the same question in different ways (especially in different settings/company).

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The new episode is up and available on Amazon. I'm home sick in bed today and will try to watch/ post highlights. Unless anyone else is up to do it.

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11 hours ago, WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo? said:

I remember being horribly embarrassed when I was a teenager and a doctor first asked me if I was sexually active.  

Then there is the joke that the answer is, "No, I just tend to lie there and let it happen."

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35 minutes ago, BirthingGodsWarriors said:

The new episode is up and available on Amazon. I'm home sick in bed today and will try to watch/ post highlights. Unless anyone else is up to do it.

Go for it.  Save me the pain later!

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4 minutes ago, Fluffypaws said:

So, Joy, please explain modesty to our viewers.... :pb_lol:

But...but, she's doing it in a skirt and he's her husband. ;) 

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Joy and Austin are officially my favorite fundie couple. They're so chill, but clearly REALLY enjoying marriage! :pb_lol:

Plus Austin has, like, employable skills??!! And teaches them to Joy??!!!!!!!??!! Unheard of in Duggarville!

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NIKE!! I feel like that's even less modest than pants and a sweater. That's pretty racy for a fundie couple.

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20 hours ago, calimojo said:

I have been a nurse for a million years and worked in several different areas of healthcare.  And, I can tell you that it is fairly common for people to lie or be in denial or perhaps uneducated as to whether they are sexually active.  It happens frequently that a young woman will deny being sexually active only to have them turn up pregnant.  It might be a case of denial, or in some cases, the young woman may be seriously uneducated as to what Sex is especially sexual activity that  can result in a pregnancy.  I thiNk pareNts Must do a better job with prepariNg their kids for what iNfo is asked at doCtor Visits or the ED  (ugh keyBoard is aCting up with Caps)

 

I am a pretty empathetic person, but I guess I am puzzled that questions like this are surprising to anyone.  And yes, we are taught to ask questions in more than one way because sometimes people lie, or sometimes they honestly forget and it takes asking the question in a few different ways to trigger their memory.  I don't mean this just about pregnancy, but health information in general.  I can't tell you how many times I have asked someone if they have high blood pressure and they answer no, but then you look at their list of meds and they are 2 different BP meds.  People forget,  and if they are in pain, or feeling unwell or anxious they lose focus.  Doctors and nurses ask many of the same questions of patients yet often the answers are very different.  People, for a variety of reasons, are not always super reliable, especially when stressed and when scared. 

The art of getting medical information is in how to ask.  You have to read your patient.  Some will do better with a very matter of fact tone and business like attitude, Others respond to humor, and many respond well to warmth and kindness.  But everyone is different.  My husband, just likes straightforward stuff and someone who is in his opinion over the top nice, bugs him   

People are generally known to be poor reporters of medical information for a variety of reasons.

There is a joke that whenever you ask someone how many alcoholic drinks they have in a week - double the response. I worked with college students and part of our education program was to demonstrate how much alcohol is in a standard drink. The looks on their faces was pure shock. We would measure out the equivalent of 1 standard drink of hard alcohol (colored water) and put it a cup to show them. These people were making mixed drinks with the equivalent of 4 or more standard drinks of alcohol and thinking it was only 1-2 drinks. 

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Ok here is my attempt at a recap. Please be patient with me, I wrote this on my phone while sneezing. It's super long fyi. 

 

Spoiler

Counting On Finale Part 2

We start with a look back at JinJer's Australia honeymoon, specifically the cooking lesson with Bec. They picked Australia because they wanted a decent place to eat, a good view and time to just be together. Jeremy jokes about how intimate the honeymoon was with 8 crew members. 

Jill and Derick like PDA the most. "But the love is infectious. They love each other and aren't afraid to show it."

Josiah wasn't comfortable with how much Jaustin stared into each other's eyes all the time.

Jessa/Ben: again with the challenges of raising two babies. Boob and Michelle bring out Spurge and Henry. Spurge picks up a ball shaped piece of art decoration and throws it. Jana immediately picks him up and distracts him for awhile. 
Ben says Jessa changes the most diapers because he's at work all day. But he takes over once he is home.
Jeremy is shocked that babies can go through 7 diapers a day. 

Michelle talks about the older kids moving out. "We try to get together at holidays, and we've tried to plan a couple of opportunities together (weddings). And there's more grandbabies on the way!"

J.B.: If each of our children has just 5 babies we'd have over 100 grandchildren and it's possible we'll have 200!"

Daphne asks if it's different when a son is getting married vs a daughter. I'm including Jim Bobs whole answer because he totally doesn't answer the question.
"When our daughters are leaving home it's like you want k make sure it's gonna be the best situation for them. And we're so thankful for each one of our son in laws. They've really become our sons. And so instead of just having 10 sons, now we have a whole bunch of other sons."!

Daphne asks about the questionnaire. J. B. Says that they got the idea from another family that had a 15 page questionnaire. They saw it and said, "This is a really good questions... that probably in a normal course of life, it might take years to get around to asking these questions. And for them to see if there are any non negotiables, if there are things that they maybe totally disagree on, and they feel like 'hey this isn't God's will'."

Joy: Austin passed the questionnaire with flying colors. 

J.B.: each one has passed or they wouldn't be married. 

Spoiler

Daphne asks if anything shown on the show has surprised them or was just fun to watch. 

Michelle: I think it's been kind of fun. We didn't get to go on any of the honeymoon trips (Austin interjects: Did we forget to invite y'all? Joy: No we didn't!). It was fun to watch that footage and see the places they went and fun things they got to see. 

J.B.: Looking forward to this season on counting on. Joseph and Kendra's relationship getting a little closer. And then who knows maybe joy and austin will have a little one on the way.
Joy: What about Jinger and Jeremy?
J.B.: And Jinger and Jeremey

Joy and Austin love being married because they get to kiss, sit on each other's lap and hug whenever they want. I've included a pic.
They show lots of clips of Jaustin's PDA on the set. 

Kendra comes walking down a staircase for her segment and Jessa and Joy tell Joe to get up and greet her. He jumps up, side hugs and says I love you. 

Kendra: Loves the thought of joining the family and loves getting to know Joe. 

Joe: it's great having her as almost part of the family. 

Kendra is the oldest of 7. Was a bridesmaid in Joys wedding. Joy: We were really good friends before they were even a thing. "When we (She and Austin) were in relationship I was always like, 'I want to have her in my wedding' and then Joe ended up starting a courtship with her. And so I was like, hey this works out nice."

Joe: Says he knew Kendra was the one before they started courting. He was pretty sure she would say yes when he proposed. They apparently hadn't talked about engagement at that point because he was trying not to talk about it. He didn't want to make it feel like he was moving towards that too much because he wanted it to be a surprise. 

Flashback to Joy and Austin's proposal. Daphne remarks on the fact that Joy and Austin didn't side hug after the proposal. 
Austin says: You know what, we're humans, and sometimes we don't always abide perfectly by our rules. But we try and so that was... that was a real hard try."

Joy didn't see the cameramen during the horseback riding etc (because they were hiding in the woods) so she didn't think it was the proposal. She kept trying to talk herself out of it. 

Austin got the idea for the proposal from Joy. She'd told him that she didn't want people for it. He chose the spot because he grew up hiking there. 

Daphne asks how J.D. thinks Austin did on the proposal. J.D.: It's not as good as what I'm gonna do." Austin: John has had a lot more time to plan than I have!" Josiah thinks John will propose on a plane.  J.D. Is still tight lipped about whether or not he's courting. 

Flashbacks of Joy and Austin's first kiss and running out of the church. Daphne asks why ahoy shook her head no during a part of the wedding service. Austin wanted to carry Joy out of the church but Joy said no because she was afraid he would trip on her dress. 

The first kiss was "on point." Joy told Austin to lead because he was the guy. She's apparently seen some women lunge for the kiss and that's where things can get messy. Austin was worried about chipping his tooth? Kendra says she will take Joy's advice and Let Joe take care of it. 

Flashback of Joe asking Pastor McHotty for permission to court Kendra. J.D.: It takes a lot of courage to approach a guy with a wrench. Daphne asks if it was extra intimidating to ask for permission to court because Kendra's dad is there pastor. Joe: "This is his first daughter to give away, so that's kind of on top of everything else. So I tried not to be too nervous going in there and asking. But there's always a little nervousness that sets in." He was actually working on the brakes on Joe's truck during that scene. Kendra was nervous her dad would say no to Joe. 

Next up the married couples will play a Duggar version of the Newlywed Game. Jessa and Ben are feeling the pressure to win because they have been married the longest. 

The Couples Showdown: 

Question 1: What's the most selfless thing your husband does for you?
Jinger: taking out the trash
Jeremy: put the toilet seat down
Joy: massage my feet
Austin: open car door
Jessa: back massages 
Ben: cleaning hair out of drains

Q2: What's your husbands favorite ice cream flavor?
Jinger: cookies & cream
Jeremy: vanilla soft serve 
Joy: mint chocolate chip 
Austin: mint
Jessa: vanilla
Ben: vanilla

Q3: What would your husband say was the most difficult part of courting?
Jinger: everything (because they just wanted to be married)
Jeremy: not having time alone in person
Joy: no physical contact 
Austin: the whole thing
Jessa: length
Ben: not getting physical (lol)

Q4: What would your wife say was the most memorable part of the honeymoon?
Jinger: being alone 
Jeremy: the evenings
Joy: just being together and alone
Austin: just being alone
Jessa: Rome (Jessa also confessed that she and Ben knew they would be playing this game and stayed up making sure they would have the same answers to every question. They don't. She looked annoyed with him.)
Ben: not having a chaperone

Q5: Complete the sentence, "I wish my spouse would stop..."
Jinger: blank
Jeremy: doubting herself (she's often her worst critic and she's just... she could be cooking all day long and the whole time she's worrying it will taste horrible. Then Jeremy tries it and is like, baaaaabbbeee this is phenomenal! Don't doubt yourself!)
Joy: biting his nails
Austin: whupping him in pool
Jessa: ? ("I mean, he's a great guy I don't know what to say.")
Ben: (being) down about her weight (she apparently always complains about feeling heavy and overweight. She feels she has 7 pounds more to go to get to her goal weight. Ben just encourages the two of them to work out together.) 

Q6: Who takes up more than their half of the bed, him or her?
Jinger: her
Jeremy: her (she snuggles up and he almost falls off the side)
Joy: her (they are both hot sleepers so Austin is always moving away from her because he gets too sweaty)
Austin: her
Jessa: Henry
Ben: her

Q6: Who has the better shower singing voice?
Jinger: him
Jeremey: him (Jeremy tells a story about how they were staying at a friend's house and Jeremy was singing in the shower about how there was no water pressure. Apparently the hosts heard the whole thing and he was mortified."
Joy: him
Austin: her (austin sings more, but he thinks Joy sings better. Austin points out that the question was better not more. Jeremy yells out "first fight!") 
Jessa: him (Jessa doesn't like singing unless it's in a group)
Ben: him 

They bring out Joe and Kendra to add to the fun!

Q7: What let name does your partner call you?
Jinger: babe, baby, love and lovey
Jeremy: baaaaaaaaabe (he actually wrote it like that ahahaha)
Joy: babe
Austin: babe (joy wanted to call him honey but he didn't like it)
Jessa: babe, lovey (Jill started calling Derick "lovey" and now the whole family uses it).
Ben: babe, lovey
Joe: babe, lovey
Kendra: babe, lovey, joe (ha!)

Q8: Husbands fave part about being engaged? 
Jinger: (difficult) waiting for the wedding date
Jeremy: countdown to the marriage 
Joy: holding hands
Austin: holding hands and only 100 days until we say I do
Jessa: setting the wedding date
Ben: being closer to the wedding
Joe: saying I love you 
Kendra: holding hands and saying I love you 

Q9: what is your husbands hidden talent:
Jinger: drawing
Jeremy: artist 
Joy: blank (he's everything, austin of all trades)
Austin: I'm an open book
Jessa: cooks, sings, amazing artist and plays Spanish guitar (Ben looks at her like, I do? Hilarious)
Ben: art 
Joe: ping pong
Kendra: most people would say he's not talkative but he is good at talking with people (everyone agrees)

Q10: My partner he afraid of...?
Jinger: bad breath (ha!)
Jeremy: Texas bugs 
Joy: nothing really (except snakes)
Austin: nothing (she's getting over her fear of heights)
Jessa: everything from gmos to high fructose corn syrup (ill include a pic)
Ben: bugs and spiders 
Joe: bugs 
Kendra: being in water 

Austin and Joy won!

There's some shots of them behind the scenes talking and taking selfies post filming. Preview of next season
The End! 

 

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I forgot to mention that Ben goes into the Duggar pantry and reads the ingredients that are I n their food. He then writes warnings on the labels. I found this hilarious.

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That sounds mildly entertaining. What was the part with Jessa yelling at Ben to try to win and not just try to be funny?  

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3 minutes ago, karen77 said:

I find the warnings on the food labels hilarious.

I'd love to see warning label he'd put on tater tot casserole

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5 minutes ago, karen77 said:

I find the warnings on the food labels hilarious.

Ben is so freaking quirky, I love it.

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17 minutes ago, MsSaylor said:

That sounds mildly entertaining. What was the part with Jessa yelling at Ben to try to win and not just try to be funny?  

I think she was getting upset that he wasn't really going with their rehearsed answers. It felt like she was trying to give him a hint about sticking to the plan.

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