World milksharing week

[LadyBBR]

I learned from some new blogs recommended on the thread I started about (real) Jewish fundy blogs that milk sharing week is coming up in a few weeks.

I wasn't able to breastfeed, though I desperately wanted to. Not sure how I'd feel about my babies drinking another woman's breastmilk.

http://www.worldmilksharingweek.org/

[Guest Anonymous]

I've donated to 3 babies. :)

I don't know what id do if the situation was reversed. I just donated because my boy refused to take a bottle and I was pumping for some reason. (I think I thought if something happened to me??? I never said I was rational post partum)

Its a personal thing. Most donors do it for the cost of the bags and a couple of bucks of gas thrown in. If with my next kid I produce as much, I will see about donating to a nicu or milk bank.

I'm sorry you tried and couldn't. Don't ever feel like you're a failure though, nature failed you. I'm beginning to think the stat of supposedly 95% of women "can" do it is bullcrap. *hugs*

[demgirl]

How do you ensure the "quality" of the breast milk? I agree that breastfeeding is probably best for the majority of infants (I personally will not be able to breast feed, but I still think it's the best thing in many situations), but I'd be nervous accepting an unknown woman's breast milk. Do the donor women have to take HIV tests, for instance? I think it's a generous thing for the donors to do, and I applaud them for that, by the way. But this seems rife with possible problems.

[ladypuglover]

How do you ensure the "quality" of the breast milk? I agree that breastfeeding is probably best for the majority of infants (I personally will not be able to breast feed, but I still think it's the best thing in many situations), but I'd be nervous accepting an unknown woman's breast milk. Do the donor women have to take HIV tests, for instance? I think it's a generous thing for the donors to do, and I applaud them for that, by the way. But this seems rife with possible problems.

I agree. How do they screen the women for commutable diseases and for meds, drugs and so forth? Also what about babies who need a dairy free diet or gluten free or what have you? Sounds so risky to me but I also agree it sounds like a wonderful idea.

I tried to donate my extra milk all the time but they didn't want milk that came premature births as the milk was different than full term births. A lab did take the milk one time and used it for cancer research.

[Guest Anonymous]

How do you ensure the "quality" of the breast milk? I agree that breastfeeding is probably best for the majority of infants (I personally will not be able to breast feed, but I still think it's the best thing in many situations), but I'd be nervous accepting an unknown woman's breast milk. Do the donor women have to take HIV tests, for instance? I think it's a generous thing for the donors to do, and I applaud them for that, by the way. But this seems rife with possible problems.

I offered labs as proof. And some parents pay for intermittent testing.

One of my friends who knows and trusts me asked for some for her adopted baby.

Personally? If that's what I was planning to do eg: had already had a baby and couldn't and was looking for a dnor for #2, id do my best to find one beforehand and get to know her. Really well. After she submitted a good bill o' health.

[Bookworm]

I think they pasteurize the milk, which should kill diseases. That would get rid of HIV, right?

[Kitten]

Yeah, you have to spend a little time on this, to ensure donor milk is safe and appropriate. There are some states that have programs set up to facilitate milk donors. You can look here on Facebook:

Human Milk 4 Human Babies - Connecticut

https://www.facebook.com/hm4hbConnectic ... 5976246580

for a list of FAQs about their process and recommendations. They talk about the tests you might ask for, and discuss in-home pasteurization, but I don't know if that would be enough to kill all viruses. You also have to worry about proper storage and santitation.

OTOH, wet nurses were common enough once, and the only thing that's radically different about this is the method for bringing women together and the storage of the milk.

[Katiebug]

Assuming my milk supply is as good as it has been with Little Bug, with our next baby I plan to donate to a HMBANA milk bank (Human Milk Banking Association of North America). I pumped at work for her until she was a year old, and she never took more than 12 ounces per day at daycare, while I averaged 15-16 ounces pumped - so as you can imagine at times we had quite the stash of frozen milk!

The requirements to be a milk bank donor are at least as stringent as the requirements to donate blood, and donors have to have lab work to check for HIV, hepatitis, etc. at the milk bank's expense. Donors cannot take most medications (prenatal vitamins and the Mini-pill are among the exceptions) and in fact are not supposed to donate milk that has been pumped within a certain time interval after drinking alcohol or taking over the counter pain relievers! HMBANA milk banks pool milk from multiple donors, test it for fat/calorie content, and then pasteurize it to further ensure safety before freezing it. It generally goes straight to NICUs because human milk is literally lifesaving for preemies with certain complications, and feeding at-risk babies with donor milk can prevent those complications from occurring. A baby's mother's milk is the first choice but if it is not available, donor milk is preferred over formula.

For parents of a healthy baby whose mother is unable to meet the child's nutritional needs with her own milk, the problem with donor milk is that all of the donor screening and processing makes it expensive and since there is a shortage of milk donors most/all of the HMBANA banks will only provide milk with a doctor's prescription. I'm pretty sure that milk bank milk runs $3.50-4 per ounce, and a breastfed baby averages 25 ounces per day between 1-6 months of age. So fully-screened and pasteurized donor milk is not readily available or affordable for moms who are among the small percentage of women who are physiologically unable to develop a full milk supply. These women are the ones who may choose informal milksharing. It's sort of like modern-day wet nursing.

Re: informal milksharing. I have a few friends who are also nursing moms and whose babies are close in age to mine; that's how we met, through a support group. Having gotten to know these women the way I have, I would be comfortable sharing milk if any of them had needed it. I would also be OK with accepting milk from my friends if we were in a position to need extra. I would not directly nurse someone else's baby unless it was a life or death situation, but I'd have no problem sharing extra pumped milk with a friend. I know it may sound weird to others, but once it's pumped and frozen my milk is just milk to me. I chose to always breastfeed when Little Bug and I are together, and so bottles or cups are only for when we're not together. When she nurses, there's a big emotional and bonding component and it's about so much more than the milk - but when she gets a bottle or sippy cup with pumped milk, to me it's just milk.

I would not give my extra milk to a mom who I didn't already know and feel comfortable with - I would be concerned with liability if that mom ended up being some litigious nutjob. A lawsuit doesn't have to have any merit to ruin a family financially...

[maybeizfundie]

If I'd had milk back when my sister was struggling to nurse, I would have gladly pumped extra (I'm a one-woman dairy when I'm nursing) for my sister, who was struggling and not happy to have to supplement with formula. And I would accept milk from my sisters for my babies, if the baby needed it and the sisters offered it.

I think it is very cool that women are willing to share. If the health issues can be controlled, it's awesome.

[Feberin]

I pumped a lot of extra milk during my son's first year. In fact he's still drinking it! He gets some mixed in with his cow's milk at daycare. He's almost 18 months and I still have a few bags left. I would have donated it if I thought I could have given a decent amount but I wanted to give my son at least some milk up to 1 1/2.

[dawbs]

I have sent over 300 oz to my local HMBANA milk bank and should be able to do one more shipment before weaning. (not all milk banks are equal, IMO. The ethical concerns about those w/ major ties to big pharma is worth considering).

It's screened, I've been drug and disease tested, it's pasturized, and the babies are 'triaged' as to who gets it. (meaning, those w/ a physical need for milk get first dibs).

It's not quite the same as giving directly through something like eats-on-feets, but, like a PP said, liability, my own comfort levels, that's what worked for me.

(I'll also say, as a greedy capitalist, I considered selling it. It's legal here. But I went for the karma points instead)

[Kitchen Princess]

Breast milk saved my preemie grandson's life. His mother didn't want to breastfeed when she got pregnant, but I sneakily sent her a subscription to Mothering magazine. At least the breast milk for preemies message got through, and it literally saved his life.

Now she's had a couple more, and pumps milk for her sister's son, whose father is an asshole and thinks the baby shouldn't be drinking breast milk after 6 months, and won't let her pump for work. My DIL sneaks milk to her whenever she can. (Ain't that a hell of a thing?)

I have a friend with lots of kids (former fundie) who nursed her own grandkids when necessary.

[dawbs]

I will say, for me it was a little hard to let go of that milk.

Yes, it was (and is) 'just milk' but every one of those 6 oz bags of milk represents time and effort. It represents between 20 minutes and an hour of my life--and yes, I can (kinda) do other things while pumping, but it's still time I'm tied to a pump.

It also represents one more migraine I didn't take a vicoden for (and an extra one I got at all because I'm not on my meds) and one more martini that I couldn't have and one more morning when I got up at 2 am to keep my supply up.

Don't get me wrong, I'd do it again--I hope to do it again (I over-pumped because we had reason to believe I wouldn't be able to BF indefinitely--so I was stockpiling for when I had to quit, so my baby would have some. Then the migraines didn't get *so* bad; I haven't had to go on meds and quit).

But I can't see it as 'just milk'. I cried the first day I pumped at work and spilled it :oops:

[aelar]

My daughter is 7 weeks, and I started pumping the day she was born (she was born a little early and so very thin, and I pumped in addition to nursing to get my supply up to fatten her up). It turns out I'm one of those women who could open a dairy, so my girl is nice and fat, and I already have a stockpile. I'm stretching out my pumping to actually decrease my supply a little, because I'm drowning my kid and it's darned uncomfortable.

I have a friend who isn't as lucky with her supply, and who is worn out on the pumping thing with her 8 month old. I've offered her some of my milk to give her a break, so she can skip a session now and then and not have to supplement with formula. It was actually sort of embarrassing making the offer, I was worried she'd think it was gross, and I ended up feeling very flattered when she said that while she didn't need the milk right now, she was totally open to feeding her baby my milk in the future. I've since found out that a few of my friends have shared milk around. I guess we're a sort of crunchy nerd group.

I'd happily give my daughter milk from any of my friends or other reasonably quality-controlled source, I guess it's just milk to me too. (Though I do get a little annoyed when my daughter spits several ounces up, or it otherwise gets wasted. It might be fairly easy to make, but it's still work and a bit of pain to get it.)

If I continue to have a good supply, once I build up a couple months of feedings (I only have about a week's worth right now) I really should look into donating my extra. I'm not sure where to start with that, though. My hospital prescribes donated milk, but they buy it from other groups, rather than running a donation program themselves. I don't own a car, so traveling a long distance isn't very practical, but maybe I can find a place that's easy to get to. I live in the Bay Area, so there's probably lots of places doing collection, right?

[dawbs]

*snip*

If I continue to have a good supply, once I build up a couple months of feedings (I only have about a week's worth right now) I really should look into donating my extra. I'm not sure where to start with that, though. My hospital prescribes donated milk, but they buy it from other groups, rather than running a donation program themselves. I don't own a car, so traveling a long distance isn't very practical, but maybe I can find a place that's easy to get to. I live in the Bay Area, so there's probably lots of places doing collection, right?

You may not have to drive at all. There are completely mail-based banks.

I don't happen to live right near the bank where I donate...it's actually quite a drive. I call them. We talk. They do the 'blood donor' type screenings over the phone. They send me paperwork. I go to a local lab for blood tests and return paperwork. They send me a giant styrafoam cooler, box, and shipping lables. I call to tell them when I hand it to the UPS driver and it's overnight shipped to them. (I do it through a HMBANA bank: http://www.hmbana.org/

[bananacat]

At first it seemed weird to me to give a kid milk from a stranger, but then I realized it's no different than me drinking milk from a strange cow.

Still, if I couldn't breastfeed I would just go with formula. It's not poison.