Duggars By the Dozen - General Discussion - Part 6

[happy atheist]

Part 1: viewtopic.php?f=8&t=19312

Part 2: viewtopic.php?f=8&t=19818

Part 3: viewtopic.php?f=8&t=20491

Part 4: viewtopic.php?f=8&t=20933

Part 5: viewtopic.php?f=8&t=21259

 

To talk about Jill's engagement go here: viewtopic.php?f=8&t=21389

To talk about Jessa's courtship go here: viewtopic.php?f=8&t=20490

To talk about the new episodes go here: viewtopic.php?f=8&t=21530

 

For everything else, you're in the right place.

 

Anyone want to post a brief summary of recent topics?

[anjulibai]

I'm watching The Little Couple right and I'm wondering how the Duggars would react to Jen and Bill. Jen and Bill have a very happy marriage, are obviously a team, and they are apparently somewhat religious (they at least pray at meals). But Jen kept her maiden name and has a very high-level career (not sure how else to put it). And Bill stays home with the kids, though he does have a business he runs from home. They also have a nanny. To my mind, Jen and Bill embody family values far more than the Duggars, but I'm sure the Duggars would turn up their noses at Jen and Bill....and then make assinine comments about Jen and Bill's height.

[LittleOleMe]

I'm watching The Little Couple right and I'm wondering how the Duggars would react to Jen and Bill. Jen and Bill have a very happy marriage, are obviously a team, and they are apparently somewhat religious (they at least pray at meals). But Jen kept her maiden name and has a very high-level career (not sure how else to put it). And Bill stays home with the kids, though he does have a business he runs from home. They also have a nanny. To my mind, Jen and Bill embody family values far more than the Duggars, but I'm sure the Duggars would turn up their noses at Jen and Bill....and then make assinine comments about Jen and Bill's height.

I love watching Bill and Jen (which, oddly enough, I'm writing as Ben and Jill :? ) You're right, though. They embody the ultimate family values.

One thing I really love about them is that they made a point to understand the culture of the children they adopted. When they were teaching them letters and numbers and such, Will said a pig was Moo or something and Jen initially said no but they remembered that the sound he made was the Mandarin word for whatever animal she was showing. That was awesome and amazing. Something the Duggars would never do. They also wouldn't allow cameras - or their nanny - around for the first six weeks or so after the adoptions so they could bond as a family. That is just amazing. They are amazing parents and I would support them 100% in adopting another child. They're awesome.

[Toothfairy]

I'm watching The Little Couple right and I'm wondering how the Duggars would react to Jen and Bill. Jen and Bill have a very happy marriage, are obviously a team, and they are apparently somewhat religious (they at least pray at meals). But Jen kept her maiden name and has a very high-level career (not sure how else to put it). And Bill stays home with the kids, though he does have a business he runs from home. They also have a nanny. To my mind, Jen and Bill embody family values far more than the Duggars, but I'm sure the Duggars would turn up their noses at Jen and Bill....and then make assinine comments about Jen and Bill's height.

Doesn't Jen have a college degree?

[Justme]

Doesn't Jen have a college degree?

Jen is a Neonatologist.

[LittleOleMe]

Doesn't Jen have a college degree?

Jen is a doctor. A pediatric doctor.

[anjulibai]

Doesn't Jen have a college degree?

Jen has several degrees. She's a neonatologist, so she's got a medical degree and I believe at the beginning of the show she was finishing a master's in health education. She not only works in a NICU, but also helps develop programs to train other health care providers how best to care for infants and children in various crises. I'm not sure about Bill, but I'd be willing to bet he as a business degree.

[anjulibai]

I love watching Bill and Jen (which, oddly enough, I'm writing as Ben and Jill :? ) You're right, though. They embody the ultimate family values.

One thing I really love about them is that they made a point to understand the culture of the children they adopted. When they were teaching them letters and numbers and such, Will said a pig was Moo or something and Jen initially said no but they remembered that the sound he made was the Mandarin word for whatever animal she was showing. That was awesome and amazing. Something the Duggars would never do. They also wouldn't allow cameras - or their nanny - around for the first six weeks or so after the adoptions so they could bond as a family. That is just amazing. They are amazing parents and I would support them 100% in adopting another child. They're awesome.

Yes, I noted how they reacted to the cultures when they were in China and India. They went to China to pick up their son at about the same time the Duggars went to China, and the difference in their behavior was huge.

Jen is the type of woman I look up to - able to balance a career and family so well, and with such grace. And Bill is such a supportive, caring husband. They are just such a sweet couple. I know a lot of stuff is set up for the show, but I feel like the stuff they say to each other is genuinely how they feel. They might be discussing it for the camera, but they don't seem to feel the need to be fakey about it.

I contrast that with Jim Bob and Michelle who always come off as so fake, and like they have something to prove.

[IronicallyMaeve]

Doesn't Jen have a college degree?

Jen is a neonatologist. She's an medical doctor with (at least) 6 years of postgraduate training in caring for sick and premature babies. That's a minimum of *14* years of education after high school. I think Jen and Bill are great. And their kids are adorable!

[IronicallyMaeve]

Doesn't Jen have a college degree?

Jen is a neonatologist. She's an medical doctor with (at least) 6 years of postgraduate training in caring for sick and premature babies. That's a minimum of *14* years of education. I think Jen and Bill are great. And their kids are adorable!

[Toothfairy]

Jen has several degrees. She's a neonatologist, so she's got a medical degree and I believe at the beginning of the show she was finishing a master's in health education. She not only works in a NICU, but also helps develop programs to train other health care providers how best to care for infants and children in various crises. I'm not sure about Bill, but I'd be willing to bet he as a business degree.

Wow. What an amazing couple. I never watched their show but sometimes watch previews.

[LittleOleMe]

Jen has several degrees. She's a neonatologist, so she's got a medical degree and I believe at the beginning of the show she was finishing a master's in health education. She not only works in a NICU, but also helps develop programs to train other health care providers how best to care for infants and children in various crises. I'm not sure about Bill, but I'd be willing to bet he as a business degree.

He's a business owner so I would assume he has some sort of business degree. It's great that he's able to run it from home a lot, but I really appreciate that they hired a nanny so the kids have one steady caregiver while mama and baba are working.

[Mama Mia]

I know I'll get jumped on for this, but that's okay. I finally watched the Liitle Couple when they made the trip to India to pick up their daughter, there were some very sweet moments, and they seem like nice people , but frankly I didn't see them behaving much better than the Duggar's in many respects.

The Dad seemed to spend a lot of time talking about how crowded it was everywhere they went, and how awful the traffic was, and how even the beach was packed and on and on. And both of their reactions to the toddler girl crying and being reluctant to go with them was kind of obnoxious, I thought. They gave lip service to how it might be hard for her to adjust, but even though it was only the first day and the little girl was leaving everything she knew behind, they spent a lot of time saying how different it was with their other child when they got him, and how much she was crying and they'd need to be patient...which sounds good, but it was just hours after they got her and they already seemed upset that she wasn't happy to be with them.

Plus, I think any parent who puts their kid on a reality show is kind of suspect, and they don't even ' need'the money the way the Duggar's did.

I know that overall they are a nice, sweet, well-intentioned family, but, to me, they seemed to have some pretty unrealistic expectations regarding the little girl. And the Dad, in particular, didn't sound much different from Jim Bob in a foreign country.

[anjulibai]

We'll, I think TLC played up the girl crying. And I can see, as parents, having a hard time with your daughter being terrified of you, especially when they had such a great time with their son's adjustment. He took to them immediately, and there wasn't the response from Will that Zoey had. I think they were just surprised given their experience. As it is, having watched the rest of the season, Zoey has adjusted to them completely and is doing great.

As for the cultural reaction, I really don't see what you're seeing.

[ariel9]

I agree I do really like the way the family is portrayed in the little couple. I think that they are very understanding of the culture of a international individual because they have faced challenges of living in a world that caters to people of average height and would like their viewpoints as a little person to be valued as well. As far as the traffic comments are concerned I could understand how it could come off as self absorbed but when we get down to it traffic is the worst :angry-banghead: (not literally but its pretty close). In addition do not see it as being a universal bad thing all of the time to use children in reality tv settings. I find the show really informative in some ways, I'm learning a lot about little people without becoming a public gawker or feeling like an invasive question answer. I also have learned about how milestones in development could potentially be compromised without adequate nutrition.

[Mama Mia]

We'll, I think TLC played up the girl crying. And I can see, as parents, having a hard time with your daughter being terrified of you, especially when they had such a great time with their son's adjustment. He took to them immediately, and there wasn't the response from Will that Zoey had. I think they were just surprised given their experience. As it is, having watched the rest of the season, Zoey has adjusted to them completely and is doing great.

As for the cultural reaction, I really don't see what you're seeing.

See I would think, since they seem like very nice, intelligent people, that it would be more that they were surprised that their son was so happy from the first moment. I would think the assumption would be that of course the majority of the time a toddler is going to be very, very upset and scared about being taken from the only caregivers she's ever known. That seems a much more " normal" reaction to me than instant bonding.

I don't know, I was just surprised since it was the first episode I'd ever seen, and people gush about how great they are, that they seemed, to me, to be saying things that if it was The Duggar's, I think people would be jumping all over them.

[snarkykitty]

I know I'll get jumped on for this, but that's okay. I finally watched the Liitle Couple when they made the trip to India to pick up their daughter, there were some very sweet moments, and they seem like nice people , but frankly I didn't see them behaving much better than the Duggar's in many respects.

The Dad seemed to spend a lot of time talking about how crowded it was everywhere they went, and how awful the traffic was, and how even the beach was packed and on and on.

Something to think about - since I didn't see it - that foot traffic/crowds might affect them more because of their shorter stature. Adults typically get "air space" above where children's heads reach, and therefore a mixed crowd of various ages and sizes might not seem as "crowded" as people who are not even 4 feet tall. I know that at my height - 5'1"ish, I find places more "crowded" than my 6-foot husband.

[anjulibai]

See I would think, since they seem like very nice, intelligent people, that it would be more that they were surprised that their son was so happy from the first moment. I would think the assumption would be that of course the majority of the time a toddler is going to be very, very upset and scared about being taken from the only caregivers she's ever known. That seems a much more " normal" reaction to me than instant bonding.

I don't know, I was just surprised since it was the first episode I'd ever seen, and people gush about how great they are, that they seemed, to me, to be saying things that if it was The Duggar's, I think people would be jumping all over them.

Maybe you should watch more than one episode.

I think it would be very difficult to have your child screaming at being near you when you've done so much to have them.

[mypsychoticself]

See I would think, since they seem like very nice, intelligent people, that it would be more that they were surprised that their son was so happy from the first moment. I would think the assumption would be that of course the majority of the time a toddler is going to be very, very upset and scared about being taken from the only caregivers she's ever known. That seems a much more " normal" reaction to me than instant bonding.

I don't know, I was just surprised since it was the first episode I'd ever seen, and people gush about how great they are, that they seemed, to me, to be saying things that if it was The Duggar's, I think people would be jumping all over them.

There's a pretty big difference between being aware that something will be difficult, and actually having to deal with it. I remember when my aunt and uncle first adopted their son, they could get pretty frustrated. In addition to the usual settling down period and dealing with the language barrier, he's autistic and had no idea how to interact with animals (they have a dog). So they had to try to comfort him, teach him not to yank on the dog's tail, and try to teach him English all without taking out any frustrations on him. It was difficult, and I think my aunt in particular vented to my mom at times.

Now, I haven't seen the episode in question, but I would think it's fine for them to express frustration as long as they're not blaming or taking it out on the kid (blaming the situation is fine). If nothing else, it may help other parents realize what a difficult process adoption can be, even if you think you're prepared.

[Georgiana]

There's a pretty big difference between being aware that something will be difficult, and actually having to deal with it. I remember when my aunt and uncle first adopted their son, they could get pretty frustrated. In addition to the usual settling down period and dealing with the language barrier, he's autistic and had no idea how to interact with animals (they have a dog). So they had to try to comfort him, teach him not to yank on the dog's tail, and try to teach him English all without taking out any frustrations on him. It was difficult, and I think my aunt in particular vented to my mom at times.

Now, I haven't seen the episode in question, but I would think it's fine for them to express frustration as long as they're not blaming or taking it out on the kid (blaming the situation is fine). If nothing else, it may help other parents realize what a difficult process adoption can be, even if you think you're prepared.

I agree. My family did foster care when I was growing up, and while you were "prepared" for issues with every child, you really don't know what you're in for until you're in it. No amount of reading, researching, or training can prepare you for the real deal when it comes to certain things.

Emotional situations illicit emotional reactions, and emotional reactions hardly ever stand up to scrutiny. That being said, in that case they probably shouldn't have chosen to film and should have kept that private.

[paganhomeschooler]

I know I'll get jumped on for this, but that's okay. I finally watched the Liitle Couple when they made the trip to India to pick up their daughter, there were some very sweet moments, and they seem like nice people , but frankly I didn't see them behaving much better than the Duggar's in many respects.

The Dad seemed to spend a lot of time talking about how crowded it was everywhere they went, and how awful the traffic was, and how even the beach was packed and on and on. And both of their reactions to the toddler girl crying and being reluctant to go with them was kind of obnoxious, I thought. They gave lip service to how it might be hard for her to adjust, but even though it was only the first day and the little girl was leaving everything she knew behind, they spent a lot of time saying how different it was with their other child when they got him, and how much she was crying and they'd need to be patient...which sounds good, but it was just hours after they got her and they already seemed upset that she wasn't happy to be with them.

Plus, I think any parent who puts their kid on a reality show is kind of suspect, and they don't even ' need'the money the way the Duggar's did.

I know that overall they are a nice, sweet, well-intentioned family, but, to me, they seemed to have some pretty unrealistic expectations regarding the little girl. And the Dad, in particular, didn't sound much different from Jim Bob in a foreign country.

FWIW, one of my aunts worked with Jen and said she is really as sweet, kind, and caring as she is on the show. Everyone who worked with her adored her.

As a parent, I think it's kind of hard not to compare your kids. I know you shouldn't, but you always do. This one walked before now, should I be worried. That one talked sooner, I wonder what could be wrong. I'm sure they were very tense and worried because, if you had watched previous episodes, they were concerned about her extremely small size, even for kids her age who have the same skeletal dysplasia she is supposed to have. They weren't sure of what kind of care and treatment she had received in the orphanage, as they weren't given near the amount of info for Zoey as they were for Will. I know when I am worried, I tend to point out areas of concern more, because I'm hyperfocused on negativity.

[albanuadh_1]

[

I think it would be very difficult to have your child screaming at being near you when you've done so much to have them.

And the child would know that how?

[anjulibai]

And the child would know that how?

Uh, the child wouldn't. But the parents can certainly comment on how it is difficult for them to hear.

Yeesh.... :? :roll:

[Mama Mia]

Uh, the child wouldn't. But the parents can certainly comment on how it is difficult for them to hear.

Yeesh.... :? :roll:

Well, no, I really don't think they should have the attitude, or the expectation, that the kid is going to be aware of or grateful for all they've done. And I really think if it was some fundamentalist or child collector, people here would be jumping all over them for their unrealistic expectations.

It wasn't even like it had been weeks, or months and the little girl still was crying every day and not wanting to be with them. It was the very same day they met her !

FWIW, I've been in a similar situation with a relatives child that we had custody of very suddenly. The child was older, spoke the same language and had met me. And I still wasn't at all surprised that she was upset and sad and frantic that her entire world had been turned upside down, and didn't want anything to do with me at first.

Again, they seem like perfectly nice people and a loving family, that is what surprised me about their reaction.

[Meghann]

amyduggar

9 hours ago

It's always an ice cream day!

http://instagram.com/p/m3KCM6tkHZ/