Dannah Gresh uses Science to tell us we are still sluts.

[clarinetpower]

purefreedom.org/1-sexual-myth-its-ok-if-you-lose-your-virginity/#more-2615

[emiliawasframed]

I certainly do not agree wit her ultimate point, but the entire post contains a degree of nuance that I would not expect from Pure Freedom.

[clarinetpower]

Level of nuance, schmevel of schmuance. She's telling me that I have an unbreakable bond with anyone I've ever touched, essentially. Just because she felt like a dirty slut (and didn't tell her husband about her history for ten years) doesn't mean everyone does. I do not regret my life; it made me who I am. For someone who believes so strongly in grace, she's not very willing to dole it out.

[Trynn]

How does that song go again? The one from YouTube?

I speak my mind

I take care of my behind, I'm a slut I'm a slut I'm a slut!

[debrand]

Virginity is under attack.

Our culture applauds every sexual choice except virginity.

No, our culture traps women in a catch-22 in which we are damned if we do, damned if we don't. Women who are virginal are seen as both repressed prudes and as 'good girls' to admire. Sexually active women are seen as acting so contrary to female's basic nature that they must have low self worth, be stupid or have been sexually abused. To make matters stranger, women are encouraged to be both sluts and virgins.

The answer is to acknowledge that we all own our own bodies. Sex, by itself, is not a moral or immoral act. As long as sex occurs between consenting adults who have not broken any promises to anyone or lied/manipulated someone to have sex than it shouldn't be used as a reason to judge anyone. Likewise, if someone doesn't have sex, they shouldn't be judged either. People should be judged on their kindness and compassion toward others, not on what they do-or don't do-with their genitalia.

[slh12280]

No, our culture traps women in a catch-22 in which we are damned if we do, damned if we don't. Women who are virginal are seen as both repressed prudes and as 'good girls' to admire. Sexually active women are seen as acting so contrary to female's basic nature that they must have low self worth, be stupid or have been sexually abused. To make matters stranger, women are encouraged to be both sluts and virgins.

The answer is to acknowledge that we all own our own bodies. Sex, by itself, is not a moral or immoral act. As long as sex occurs between consenting adults who have not broken any promises to anyone or lied/manipulated someone to have sex than it shouldn't be used as a reason to judge anyone. Likewise, if someone doesn't have sex, they shouldn't be judged either. People should be judged on their kindness and compassion toward others, not on what they do-or don't do-with their genitalia.

I agree. One thing that bugs me is when some liberal, sex positive people act weird when people don't want to have sex. What's wrong with that? Nothing. Just a personal decision. It's the reverse of all the purity talk, or "virgin shaming" or "prude shaming." It should just be treated as something people choose to do when/if they want to and is fine as long as it is done ethically and safely.

As for the emotional bonding thing, yeah, it may be true for some people. Don't want to discount those experiences. For me, it is indeed a very emotional thing and I do get attached but that is only my experience, I don't speak for anyone else. I just don't think you won't be fine for the rest of your life. You lose people in life through death, divorce, distance, relationship breakdowns, etc. Life isn't perfect. You need to find a way to emotionally cope. Granted some things may be able to be avoided but everything in life can teach or something or be something to look back on. There are some emotionally hard things I would never want to go through again but I took what I could from the experience and moved on. You make the best decisions you can and hope for the best.

[gezykah]

She had to go bring up the oxytocin argument! If it really worked the way some like to say it does then I should not have been born since I'm not my mother's first child. Just as it is possible to love more than one child and not be damaged goods after your first it is possible to have a more than one romantic relationship without being scared for life.