Matchmaker, Matchmaker...

[sparkles]

With all the talk of so many eligible (and aging) yet still unmarried fundies withering on the vine, I wondered if official Christian match-making could become a thing like it is (was?) for some fundie Jewish sects. It certainly couldn't hurt and there are definitely ways to spin it as ordained by god, no? Possible?

Everybody sing!

Matchmaker, matchmaker

Make me a match.

Find me a find,

Catch me a catch

Night after night in the dark I'm alone

So find me a match of my own...

[singsingsing]

I think there's a lot of unofficial matchmaking that goes on, often between the parents but possibly between some of the younger married couples and their single friends/siblings as well. You'd think there'd be a huge market for official matchmaking, but maybe that's going to far for them, it would look too much like they're not ~trusting God~. It's funny, some of the families seem to be doing a great job of getting their kids married off, but others... not so much.

[sparkles]

Yeah, the families who do the most yapping about the importance of finding a godly mate seem to be the ones where the children (daughters mostly) are looking at a life of single-hood.

[sunshine]

The Bates have learned that getting their kid out of the house, where they get to know people from different families is a good thing. Along with giving them space.

[nausicaa]

The Bates have learned that getting their kid out of the house, where they get to know people from different families is a good thing. Along with giving them space.

Yes, if anyone is qualified to open this fundie matchmaking service, it's Kelly Bates!

[lilah]

Shadcans (matchmakers) are a big part of Orthodox Judaism. I'm not sure why fundies haven't embraced them. It could be a home business, since you could do a lot of the legwork with skype and email.

I believe that a lot of fundie kids stay single becuase the family is so passive about marraige. They believe the perfect spouse will just fall from the sky into their lap. And a lot of them are incredibly picky.

[debrand]

We often comment that Sarah Mally isn't married but nether is her two siblings. I can understand that the girls are waiting for a man to make the first move and contact dad but their brother-who works away from home-isn't married either. If they were the only fundie family with adult singles I probably wouldn't really wonder why. There is nothing wrong with being single. However, it seems like a larger than expected number of fundamentalist males delay marriage.

My guess is that some of these young men have no idea how to approach a woman and are terrified of the father. Giving away a piece of your heart is akin to adultery so how do you admit to yourself that you are romantically fond enough of a girl to ask to marry her? Not only that but the young man has to be financially independent enough to be the sole provider of a household that will very possibly include children soon after the wedding.

A match maker would help but I don't think that some of these fathers would accept outside help. They like the control that they have over their children's lives too much.

[sparkles]

I wonder if things will get to the point where courtship and marriage becomes strictly a business transaction, with no room for romantic feelings, attraction, or compatibility at all. It seems to be heading in that direction now so I wouldn't say it's out of the realm of possibility. Are dowries a thing in fundiedom? "We'll give you Betty Lou, plus $5,000, a Ford minivan AND a GE washer and dryer! Sound good? She's yours!"

[Dandruff]

There must be some real stress for families who believe that there is exactly one intended spouse for each child - IF they're not supposed to stay single - but have no idea how to find and identify that person. Matchmaking might be helpful, though I think it would be hampered by control freak parents who wouldn't send their kids to school much less trust a relative stranger with helping them to find a spouse.

[sunshine]

Or, they could take the Zach approach and find a nonfundie wife. I read on a fundie blog that men their sect are choosing women outside of the fundie community due to relaxed rules or extreme expectations.

From a financial standpoint, their rules work when they are connected to someone who does not follow their rules. Because (1) they are in a better position to offer services and; (2) the concept of helping others helps themselves; (3) if everyone live the way they did, they all will have to put their heads together to accomplish the goal instead of going to a point person who normal has funds. Or, force to redefine their position. Just a thought. :think: