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Linda Harvey-maybe he's not gay


merrily

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http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyat ... s-not-gay/

Some girls — even a few boys — develop eating disorders. Why? What in the world could make a person intentionally starve herself? One would think, since this is so obviously a bad idea, that all you have to do is point out this fact to an otherwise smart person, and they’ll snap out of it — right? But it turns out, it’s not that simple. Sometimes it takes years of counseling to get a person to eat. Think about that. To get a person to eat, the most basic human desire we have. And in the meantime, serious damage can be happening to her skin, hair, heart and other organs. Why do we not think people could be deeply deceived — emotionally — about other things? Things like their perceptions about who they are attracted to? Things like sex and gender identity?
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Someone may confess a gay “crush†on you, whether or not you have any interest, and if you aren’t polite, even if they are quite aggressive, you may be accused of bigotry and discrimination. In fact, being repulsed by a gay person’s pursuit of you will no longer be an acceptable reaction. You won’t have a choice — it won’t be “cool†and it may also go against the school or company rules on discrimination and you will become the “bad guy†who is expelled or fired.

Sometimes I read a quote that is so far into crazy zone that I don't know how to respond to it.

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Sometimes I read a quote that is so far into crazy zone that I don't know how to respond to it.

Ignoring the scare quotes on "crush," and the use of the word "confess," both of which I think are pretty obnoxious--

Saying, "No, thank you, I'm not interested" is how grown-ups respond when someone whom they don't fancy asks them out. Dollars to doughnuts Harvey doesn't counsel young women who've been asked out by young men they don't find attractive to express repulsion.

Also, schools and companies have rules against sexual harassment-- no thanks to cultural conservatives, BTW-- which give you legal support in the event that someone ignores your "No, thank you, I'm not interested."

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Lol, my straight best friend knows I have a crush on her, and is totally cool with it.

Not everyone is absolutely horrified by finding out a gay person has a crush on them, and the majority of people (both gay and straight) will back off and not push it if they tell a crush their feelings and get "Sorry, I am not interested in you that way"

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My husband and I were at a dinner party with a mix of straight and gay people. Average age was well over 50. A man that I had met before (but my husband hadn't) has a degenerative eye disease so that he has extreme tunnel vision. He asked me "Is that your husband? He's very handsome!" I said yes, and that I think my husband is handsome too. I told MrYoungie and his response was "Well, at my age, I'll take compliments where I can get them." We still laugh about his being attractive to the blind gay pensioner, but there was no fear or hatred or whatever in his response. Why should there be?

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Sometimes I read a quote that is so far into crazy zone that I don't know how to respond to it.

I imagine this "crush" and "response" that she's imagining actually goes something like this (for the women)

1: oh wow, that top is really cute and totally flattering. Where did you get it?

2: OMG I'm not a lesbian! Get away from me you pervert!!

Or alternately (for the men)

1: I tried a new recipe and/or cleaning technique this weekend and it was quite tasty/useful.

2: OMG I'm not gay! Get away from me you pervert!!

And somehow person 2 always gets blamed, even though person 1 was clearly trying to gay rape person 2. What has society come to!!1!!!!11

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I imagine this "crush" and "response" that she's imagining actually goes something like this (for the women)

1: oh wow, that top is really cute and totally flattering. Where did you get it?

2: OMG I'm not a lesbian! Get away from me you pervert!!

Or alternately (for the men)

1: I tried a new recipe and/or cleaning technique this weekend and it was quite tasty/useful.

2: OMG I'm not gay! Get away from me you pervert!!

And somehow person 2 always gets blamed, even though person 1 was clearly trying to gay rape person 2. What has society come to!!1!!!!11

Oh no, I routinely ask strangers this all the time. ;) Take a crush or pick up line as a compliment, politely decline and continue with your day. "Aww, that's so sweet" will solve all your problems.

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Oh no, I routinely ask strangers this all the time. ;) Take a crush or pick up line as a compliment, politely decline and continue with your day. "Aww, that's so sweet" will solve all your problems.

I figure she is too paranoid to accept a compliment. If a woman compliments her, she's a lesbian. If a man compliments her he's a horn dog trying to rape her or a gay guy who likes her shoes. Those are her only options

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????

I'm not exactly someone who will win a Ms. America pageant so I will take any compliment I can get too lol. What's the big deal? Unless the party (male/female; transgendered male/female ) were being especially aggressive I would probably just politely say thanks but no thanks. Why would you need to be aggressive in return?

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