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I put up with abuse, and so should you!


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raggedycottagegarden.blogspot.com/2013/07/in-reply-to-sexual-impurity-bandwaggon.html

A woman on a forum was asking whether the it is biblically acceptable to divorce and remarry even in the case of abuse: Here is my reply

The following are the highlights of her reply:

Nogreaterjoy.org does a wonderful job of explaining how to work with our old flesh in the nature of marriage as it is very difficult even in hard times. At times old Jezabel can creep up and try to take control.

Yes, NGJ does a great job of encouraging women to stay with abusive pricks...I totally agree

I've had my husband financially abuse my credit. A normal worldly person would call the nearest lawyer and have him charged with fraud or other crimes of that nature. He already has had criminal records so I am choosing to love him despite his flaws. I'm not perfect either. I've said things that were not of a critical thought nature but false and scornful.

See??? She said some mean things to him! She can't go an prosecute him for stealing from her! They might send him away for a long time (since he's already been locked up before). Then who would boss her around???

I get called names from time to time by my husband.

I still believe God will provide for us even if it means I eat extra healthy dandelions for dinner.

God provides. Now can someone pass the weed casserole? Yes, she has a child. :cry:

So to explain if it is right to divorce in the case of abuse is like telling a doctor he needs to quit his job because all of the patients have mental illness and don't function as they ought. To tell a woman she should get divorced because the job is too hard is an oxymoron in a sense and similar to telling a good doctor to quit his job because the patients are so reckless.

The place to start is memorizing the ten commandments and study those as that will explain clearly what sin is and what it does to our lives. We can end up hurting and getting hurt in inward ways that others cannot see. Even in our thoughts against our spouse! God knows about that too!

Sum up: If you're abused, stay married to your abuser and read the Bible a lot.

And here's where it turns into a very weird word salad:

I've already seen, heard, read about women judged for her choice to jump in with a "new" man or scorn the one she's with. The men usually leave, the sons never visit or get charged with rape and get tired of the same old same old Jezabel feminist behavior. Its icky. Avoid it like a poisonous bio-hazard found at the old nursing-home. If you are infected with it the only real cure is a graceful merciful tongue guided by the spirit of critical thinking truth. Critical thinking involves skill and takes time to develop properly. www.homeschoolhowtos.com has a good e-book to develop and test your skill in this area so you don't jump on the bandwaggon of sexual impurity or in the support of it.

Also, critical thinking=e-book! :evil-eye:

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I am a person who doesn't currently have a job because of my mental functions and lack of ability to handle a working enviroment.

So that blows her argument out of the water. There are government programs to help people like me.

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Ugh.

1. People with mental illness are not inherently abusive so the comparison is stupid.

2. People with mental illness cannot help how their illness affects them; abusers could control their behavior if they wanted to.

3. At the end of the day a doctor gets to go home and recharge for the next day. IF we accepted the comparison, it's still inadequate, because a woman in an abusive marriage does not get a break. That is also her home life.

4. In the US people are entitled to a safe work environment. This includes freedom from verbal harassment as well as physical violence. Generally, doctors work in safe environments or at least have access to more personnel, security, etc. on the rare occasion a patient or family member would turn violent. They also have legal recourse for workplace harassment like any other person working in the US. If a woman considers being a wife/mother and homemaking to be her job then she is also entitled to a safe working environment.

5. Doctors' jobs are to help people recover from illness and staying with an abuser doesn't help them "recover" or learn better behavior - it's not productive for either person in the relationship. (Not that I'm saying it's the woman's responsibility to help her abuser change. Definitely not! Just that the comparison doesn't work.)

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This view is common among fundie bloggers. Lori the Monster has told women that they don't need to be happy in their marriages and they should pray for abusive husbands. Sunshine Mary has said that abuse is not an excuse for divorce. Instead, women may separate and ask the abuser's family to intervene on their behalf.

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This view is common among fundie bloggers. Lori the Monster has told women that they don't need to be happy in their marriages and they should pray for abusive husbands. Sunshine Mary has said that abuse is not an excuse for divorce. Instead, women may separate and ask the abuser's family to intervene on their behalf.

It seems like a litany lately in these particular christian circles, including the christian radio I hear when i listen to christian radio (Bott radio network likely has caused me to doubt christianity more than any other thing in the world)

Marriage is hard, but you must stay no matter how miserable and abusive your marriage is because Jesus says so.

Marriage is work, but if you shut up and pray, you can probably survive it.

Marriage sucks but it is your cross to bear, a test from God and no matter how bad it gets, divorce means you failed God's test.

Honestly-- what kinds of horrible people are these particular christians who disagree over so many issues / decisions in their marriages? Who make their spouse suffer? Who preach that what is likely the most intimate relationship in your life isn't supposed to be pleasant, happy, easy or friendly, so get over it already?

I can't think of a decision we have made that came to an impasse or that would have needed one of us to force the other into a decision. It is as if the submissive marriages assume that the partners are enemies or at odds with one another and that decisions don't result in a mutual benefit. My egalitarian marriage has always been based on the idea that we both want the best for one another and that the marriage is one way for each of us to thrive.

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The doctor is also paid well and can quit whenever he or she wants.

The doctor doesn't have to sleep with their abuser or have sex with a person that beat them.

The doctor doesn't have to obey the patient

The doctor doesn't even have to like the piatient

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So when she said any "worldly" woman would be on the phone with her lawyer, does that mean "worldly" equals "having a healthy sense of self, self-esteem and self-preservation"? By inference, does having these preclude you of being a good Christian?

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Is there ever a biblical "right" to remarriage while the former spouse is still alive. The answer quite clearly is NO. God NEVER puts human sexuality on a pedestal. We all must be dead to our sin married or single for life.

If you have friends, family or other's living in sexual impurity, God will and does judge that sin even if the "church" accepts it. If you are close to marriage it may be wise to move far away from severely sexually impure relatives as they may come after your future children.

:lol: LOL, divorced people are like the boogeyman! They will come after your godly children in the night!!1!1!!

Also, assuming she means the biblical character, it's Jezebel, not Jezabel. You'd think someone who threw away her "worldly" education in favor of studying scripture would be aware of that :?

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It's said to read her profile. She's got a preschooler, a toddler and one on the way. She has an education, but went fundie. She talks about having a "great" husband, but admits in this post that he's got criminal records, financially abused her credit, verbally abuses her and allows her grandmother to mistreat her.

You know what? My husband and I, as well as my sister and SIL, are in fields where we sometimes have to deal with difficult, even mentally ill, people. Here's the difference: We have unlisted numbers, my kids do not share my professional surname, we have professional training in dealing with situations, we can call on security if things are escalating, and we do not take our clients/patients home with us. We do not expose our children to risk. Many of my clients have criminal records - but the father of my children does not.

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This view is common among fundie bloggers. Lori the Monster has told women that they don't need to be happy in their marriages and they should pray for abusive husbands. Sunshine Mary has said that abuse is not an excuse for divorce. Instead, women may separate and ask the abuser's family to intervene on their behalf.

It makes me wonder at how much domestic violence there really is in the marriages of fundie bloggers like Lori, Szu, Sun.Mary and this newer one quoted in the OP. Thinking back at the many times that I read Lori admonishing women stuck in abusive marriages that they should paste a smile and pray harder for the hubby to change (yeah Lori, that will really work! :) NOT! ) I don't wanna accuse without proofs but I'd be very surprised if PP never grabbed Szu by the arm a wee bit too hard while yelling in her face or something similar. If not that I'm sure there is some psychological abuse going on. He has too volatile a temper as seen in his youtube vids and sermons for me to think otherwise. But as I said, I never like to accuse anyone of dv unless I've seen proofs. Don't want to be sued!

Sweet Satan I can't recall the # of times that Lori made me wanna punch the wall. That woman drives me batty; I seriously think that she, in a way, is more "dangerous" than Szu. Sometimes when I read Szu's posts I notice some passive-agressive ressentment towards PP, like part of a paragraph that could also be read as a "see? don't end up like me, I hate part of my life but I've made my bed now I've got to lie in it" warning to younger women thinking of leaving a secular lifestyle. A "read between the lines" in some places that one that just glances through it once will not catch.

Lori I really believe that she enjoys thinking about herself as the Titus 2 (each time I see this I laugh thinking of the stand-up comedian Christopher Titus :wink-penguin: ) Matriarch. She likely has this perverted glee when thinking of some poor young 19 year-old about to be married to a 24 y.old patriarchal asshole like her Ken. I really think that Lori is a despicable person.

I haven't read any of Sunshine Mary. Her name bugs me already.

Laura writes like a wanna-be Lori. Wouldn't surprise me in the least if she is one the women Lori "mentorred" (aka: brainwashed) into that "loving being his doormat" lifestyle. I bookmarked her blog so I can occasionnaly read the craziness.

What also bugs me about all of them is that they only post comments that kiss their behinds. Once in a while one of them might leave a negative comment to show how "wretched" the real world is... :popcorn2:

ETA: Laura at the raggedy cottage blog seems to be one of those fundies who rip off some Jewish traditions and incorporate them in their fundie Protestantism. She writes in one of her posts that she's learning Hebrew.

Oh, and she sweeps a broom in front of bars during the day (!!??) :wtf: and doesn't believe that Christians should be celebrating Christmas and Easter. She's def. an odd one. :nenner:

Edited to add, once more: save the best for last! She writes that a woman should learn how to give birth unassisted, by herself. According to her a woman is better suited to give birth to her child unassisted at home than those who have high degrees of knowledge (like doctors, nurses, even midwives). Yup, she is more than bizarre...I don't wish it but it's stupid criminal advice like this that kills babies and mothers. :cray-cray:

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*head in hands* This is stupid. STUPID. I'll tell you (daft writer) why. God won't prevent your partner from killing you.

If you are religious, I'll tell you a few tips which God has given you in the "might be about to kill you" stakes. We'll presume your partner is male.

1. He's backhanding you across the face with impunity. You think it's your fault for "mouthing off".

2. Even if he doesn't do that, he hits you and it's your fault for doing things like smiling at someone who isn't him, arguing with him, not cleaning things well enough, wearing the wrong top, etc.

3. He gets sadface after he hits you. He's sooo sorry he hurt you. But you just drive him to it, can't you see that? If only you behaved better he would stop and you'd both be happy.

4. You believe that.

5. ????

6. A&E. If you are specially unlucky, coffin.

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Maybe she should wear "I'm married to an abusive criminal and have children with him" when she does any of the activities that she recommends here:

raggedycottagegarden.blogspot.ca/search/label/PROVERBS%2031%20series

It's an appalling list of how to harass people, and includes these gems:

179. Visit a woman's shelter and encourage the women to forgive and pray for the men whom they left.

190. Volunteer at a local daycare. Encourage the women who leave their children at the daycare to find ways to stay home with their children.

So, not really volunteering at all, just harassing women and putting them in dangerous situations.

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It makes me wonder at how much domestic violence there really is in the marriages of fundie bloggers like Lori, Szu, Sun.Mary and this newer one quoted in the OP. Thinking back at the many times that I read Lori admonishing women stuck in abusive marriages that they should paste a smile and pray harder for the hubby to change (yeah Lori, that will really work! :) NOT! ) I don't wanna accuse without proofs but I'd be very surprised if PP never grabbed Szu by the arm a wee bit too hard while yelling in her face or something similar. If not that I'm sure there is some psychological abuse going on. He has too volatile a temper as seen in his youtube vids and sermons for me to think otherwise. But as I said, I never like to accuse anyone of dv unless I've seen proofs. Don't want to be sued!

Sweet Satan I can't recall the # of times that Lori made me wanna punch the wall. That woman drives me batty; I seriously think that she, in a way, is more "dangerous" than Szu. Sometimes when I read Szu's posts I notice some passive-agressive ressentment towards PP, like part of a paragraph that could also be read as a "see? don't end up like me, I hate part of my life but I've made my bed now I've got to lie in it" warning to younger women thinking of leaving a secular lifestyle. A "read between the lines" in some places that one that just glances through it once will not catch.

Lori I really believe that she enjoys thinking about herself as the Titus 2 (each time I see this I laugh thinking of the stand-up comedian Christopher Titus :wink-penguin: ) Matriarch. She likely has this perverted glee when thinking of some poor young 19 year-old about to be married to a 24 y.old patriarchal asshole like her Ken. I really think that Lori is a despicable person.

I haven't read any of Sunshine Mary. Her name bugs me already.

Laura writes like a wanna-be Lori. Wouldn't surprise me in the least if she is one the women Lori "mentorred" (aka: brainwashed) into that "loving being his doormat" lifestyle. I bookmarked her blog so I can occasionnaly read the craziness.

What also bugs me about all of them is that they only post comments that kiss their behinds. Once in a while one of them might leave a negative comment to show how "wretched" the real world is... :popcorn2:

Maybe we should put together a list. Whenever we have a fundie blogger preaching the values of submission, go through the blog to cull examples of what her wonderful husband is REALLY like. Could be a bit of a wake-up call to anyone about to be seduced by this lifestyle and advice.

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And I will tell them where abuse goes in the end. I can tell them in graphic detail. I wish I couldn't, but if one person steps away from the abuser because of what I said I would tell it everywhere.

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Maybe she should wear "I'm married to an abusive criminal and have children with him" when she does any of the activities that she recommends here:

raggedycottagegarden.blogspot.ca/search/label/PROVERBS%2031%20series

It's an appalling list of how to harass people, and includes these gems:

179. Visit a woman's shelter and encourage the women to forgive and pray for the men whom they left.

190. Volunteer at a local daycare. Encourage the women who leave their children at the daycare to find ways to stay home with their children.

So, not really volunteering at all, just harassing women and putting them in dangerous situations.

This one is funny, though:

189. If a parent is willing, take a child to the park.

So, NO KIDNAPPING. :penguin-no:

She needs to add this one:

203. Learn to spell.

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Maybe she should wear "I'm married to an abusive criminal and have children with him" when she does any of the activities that she recommends here:

raggedycottagegarden.blogspot.ca/search/label/PROVERBS%2031%20series

It's an appalling list of how to harass people, and includes these gems:

179. Visit a woman's shelter and encourage the women to forgive and pray for the men whom they left.

190. Volunteer at a local daycare. Encourage the women who leave their children at the daycare to find ways to stay home with their children.

So, not really volunteering at all, just harassing women and putting them in dangerous situations.

Reading the list now, and I think she should start with #145: Improve your writing skills.

Then, maybe before she gets on to practising "ettiquette," she could learn to spell the word.

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The whole blog is bizarre.

This is a few posts down -

[quoteI don't know about you, but I think this is a miracle.

Today I opened up my KJV 1$ bible and there sitting in my bible was a library card to the Postville Public Library. In case you don't know Postville is a small town in North East Iowa where there is a mix of many nationalities in the small town. Anything from Jewish to African American to Asian and White and all in between. I really believe that God is telling me something like the love that he gave for ALL of humanity when I found that library card there this morning because I recall that I put that card in my purse and my purse has been no where near the bible I usually read. I am normally a very careless or forgetful person. My husband keeps telling me to lock my car and keep my purse in a better location because I forget it so much. I better start listening before it is too late.

Anyway, that is my miracle story for the day.

Have a good day and read your bible today because you never know what miracles you will find.]

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It makes me wonder at how much domestic violence there really is in the marriages of fundie bloggers like Lori, Szu, Sun.Mary and this newer one quoted in the OP. Thinking back at the many times that I read Lori admonishing women stuck in abusive marriages that they should paste a smile and pray harder for the hubby to change (yeah Lori, that will really work! :) NOT! ) I don't wanna accuse without proofs but I'd be very surprised if PP never grabbed Szu by the arm a wee bit too hard while yelling in her face or something similar. If not that I'm sure there is some psychological abuse going on. He has too volatile a temper as seen in his youtube vids and sermons for me to think otherwise. But as I said, I never like to accuse anyone of dv unless I've seen proofs. Don't want to be sued!

Sweet Satan I can't recall the # of times that Lori made me wanna punch the wall. That woman drives me batty; I seriously think that she, in a way, is more "dangerous" than Szu. Sometimes when I read Szu's posts I notice some passive-agressive ressentment towards PP, like part of a paragraph that could also be read as a "see? don't end up like me, I hate part of my life but I've made my bed now I've got to lie in it" warning to younger women thinking of leaving a secular lifestyle. A "read between the lines" in some places that one that just glances through it once will not catch.

Lori I really believe that she enjoys thinking about herself as the Titus 2 (each time I see this I laugh thinking of the stand-up comedian Christopher Titus :wink-penguin: ) Matriarch. She likely has this perverted glee when thinking of some poor young 19 year-old about to be married to a 24 y.old patriarchal asshole like her Ken. I really think that Lori is a despicable person.

I haven't read any of Sunshine Mary. Her name bugs me already.

Laura writes like a wanna-be Lori. Wouldn't surprise me in the least if she is one the women Lori "mentorred" (aka: brainwashed) into that "loving being his doormat" lifestyle. I bookmarked her blog so I can occasionnaly read the craziness.

What also bugs me about all of them is that they only post comments that kiss their behinds. Once in a while one of them might leave a negative comment to show how "wretched" the real world is... :popcorn2:

ETA: Laura at the raggedy cottage blog seems to be one of those fundies who rip off some Jewish traditions and incorporate them in their fundie Protestantism. She writes in one of her posts that she's learning Hebrew.

Oh, and she sweeps a broom in front of bars during the day (!!??) :wtf: and doesn't believe that Christians should be celebrating Christmas and Easter. She's def. an odd one. :nenner:

Edited to add, once more: save the best for last! She writes that a woman should learn how to give birth unassisted, by herself. According to her a woman is better suited to give birth to her child unassisted at home than those who have high degrees of knowledge (like doctors, nurses, even midwives). Yup, she is more than bizarre...I don't wish it but it's stupid criminal advice like this that kills babies and mothers. :cray-cray:

Yes, this is a brilliant idea. :roll: Had I done this I (and my child) would have died. What a fucking moron. Let's hope nobody takes any of this dangerous advice.

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Oh yeah. Let's go back to nature. My first child and I would have died lingering and painful deaths.

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Wait, people are allowed to volunteer at daycares? If so, I hope they screen well. I would lose my shit if I went to pick up my kid after a hell day and some sanctimonious fundie bitch tried to lecture me about "finding a way to stay home".

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She's one of my favorites too. I love to go back and read old posts. She loves to drop crazy information right in the middle of her posts and then keeps writing as if everything is normal. For example:

"At 4:30 this morning I encountered extreme contractions and cramping. I sat on the toilet in the bathroom and moaned my way through them. I can understand how a woman feels that she must go to an emergency room to help her relieve herself of miscarriage pain. However, I knew in my spirit that entering an ER room would 0nly make my experience worse and take the peace and spirit out of the situation. A time where mom and unborn have time alone and undisturbed.

I was dripping lots of blood and felt as if my body was trying to get rid of everything. I felt like I was dry heaving.... By 5:15 or so I felt extreme pain and took some Tylenol. I decided to walk around outside to keep my mind off of the cramping that I was experiencing. I walked around the block and also walked down to the river on the other side of our dike. I could still feel the sharp pains.... I returned to our apartment. My husband and my son still sleeping through all the menace I was experiencing.... cramping was not present so I fell asleep again....

At 9:00 in the morning I awoke. The cramping had ceased. I sat on the toilet. Some bleeding occurred and then right as I was about to leave the toilet a plop came out and into the toilet. I knew instantly that this was indeed the contents of placenta and baby. I PICKED UP A POKING STICK, OLD YOGURT CONTAINER AND RUBBER GLOVES TO RETRIEVE THE CONTENTS. I looked at it and all I could see was a small amniotic bubble containing the contents where the embryo should have been.

I called my husband on the telephone telling him about what had just happened as he was at church practicing some music. He knew that I had been cramping in the early morning. When he returned home he looked at the displeasing contents and had a little cringe in his stomach knowing that the pregnancy had failed because the baby simply did not properly develop. I PUT THE CONTENTS INTO THE FRIDGE WHILE WE WENT TO CHURCH. I somewhat surprised my self that I was brave enough to enter the church building after recently releasing miscarriage material.

We did not mention anything to anyone in the church about a pregnancy or a miscarriage. We felt in our hearts that it would be best to keep it to our selves and not stir up strife. After the service, I went to Wal-mart and picked up a small craft box that would hold the undeveloped baby we named Sam. I also picked up a string of flowers. My husband and I plan to bury baby Sam later today. IT IS ALMOST AS IF WE ARE BURYING A SECRET PET. "

raggedycottagegarden.blogspot.ca/2009_03_01_archive.html

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That's a pearl (Ha!) of wisdom from Laura, my new fave nutso Titus 2 blogger.

http://raggedycottagegarden.blogspot.ca ... rning.html

Hard to believe that she has more than a grade 8 education.

I also love this paranoid screed:

http://raggedycottagegarden.blogspot.ca ... ollar.html

Yup, the end is near. :violin:

My favorite quote from this one:

"if you are reading this, more than likely you are still alive..."

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Laura Spilde cannot write sentences for toffee.

Okay, so she's a maths and stats graduate. I'm a maths graduate, and there is no way I would ever write

A woman on a forum was bragging about an older woman who was too "old fashioned" and believed that all women should be married before having children by the way she asked question of another unmarried woman. Her response was to tell the woman a lie and claim that she didn't know who the father was yet she really did as he was an engaged partner.

or

In your state of condition, I am sure that she is concerned about the health of the child in some way. Sure it is possible for the woman to work out of the home and raise a child via. daycare independently and never seek full marriage. But with the pressures of the dollar bill it could eat away the life of the child especially knowing that some day cares are not safe and hire perverts without knowledge of such truths that exist.
or
Are you are woman married to a man who is "pegan" in nature. ...In the verse above we are reminded of the basic desire in human lust towards anti-semitism. It is an awful thing and even some churches in the United States of America practice such fifth and pretend as if it doesn't exist. Guess what, it does as Satan is continuing to cover up the truth of Christ who came and died for all of us.
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