19 Kids and Counting 2013 - The Duggars do Part 3

[happy atheist]

See Part 1 here: viewtopic.php?f=8&t=16241

Part 2: viewtopic.php?f=8&t=16702

 

Buzzard promised to do her live blog/recap here, so get out your popcorn and your adult beverage of choice.

[Buzzard]

I got my knuckles cracked and my snark hat on! Lets do this shit!

:popcorn2:

[Luvchild]

Just rewatching the coffee shop episode. Hannah looks beat up in her head segment where she talks about the baby dolls. I didn't notice that before, but definitely like red marks all over her face.

[Buzzard]

There is a shot when they're counting money and Joy is holding an unknown baby. Never seen him before... will have to screen grab later!

[Canthelpbutlook]

Sitting here watching the re-runs from last week (didn't get a chance to watch for real last week but I must say Buzzards re-caps were dead on)...new episode in 5 min so I will make this quick. IF the girls volunteering at the coffee shop was a FU internetz moment to show us the ladies can work outside the compound...I say epic FAIL. They are being trained for a one time event. So I guess this message is for whatever TLC intern/producer/lurker....this person isn't fooled. Lets see those girls get a JOB...full time/part time/whatever at this coffee house. EARN THEIR OWN PAYCHECK..and put in THEIR OWN BANK ACCOUNT under THEIR OWN name. :snooty:

[DodgeWR]

No it is not like basic training, not at all. Your kid is not serving the country.

[Ellimenopy]

FIRST time for any of their kid's to be away from home... 30 seconds in and it's already fucked up.

[Lillybee]

Poor Joseph. Mullet and Boob wouldn't even let him get a buzz cut until he goes to alert camp even though he always wanted one.

[Ellimenopy]

OMG. They admitted to chaperoning. So shocked. Do they not realize how controlling it sounds to the real world?

[Buzzard]

Here we go! I predict this shit will be the most boring episode ever but...

Anna is still smiling like a stepford wife out the fucking window in the intro. SPIT OUT THE KOOL AID!!!!!!!!!!!

DOGS! Two new ones, theyre yellow and definitely a boy. Apparently they have new dogs each week. Michelle pages Joseph over the fucking loudspeaker and sets a stool up in the middle of the living room, because thats the logikal place to shave your kids head.

Joseph is off to indoctrination camp ALERT. He must have shown some sign of individuality or expressed a lack of interst in pickles.

There is a howler on the couch in the background, Josie and an unknown lost child are on the floor playing with blankets.

Michelle explains this is the "first time" any of her kids have been off "away from home by themselves." Its also the longest theyve ever been away from home. Michelle puts the gown on him. Camera pans over his left shoulder to MOUNDS of shit all over the floor.

Popup says they save $1500 a year cutting their own hair, Joseph says he wanted a shorter haircut since he was born but "never got the chance." HUH?

Michelle says that "mama, we like hair." HUH>???????

All the kids gather round as she shaves him, boob takes a pic of him half shaved. Michelle says its a birthday/going away party and he's leaving on his birthday but have no fear JD will fly him to "bootcamp!"

JD is all alone in a talking head! He almost smiles!

The J'slaves all say how he looks great.

YAY! Lets all decorate the house! Boob has a fucking microphone, there are about 40 people there, including the hartonos and some random older women on the couch.

Michelle says that she sends her kids in twos because there is more of an ability to stand firm, and HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!

I know the Lord Jesus sent out his disciples by twos and we feel like we're sending out disciples and so we try and do that with ours

Boob says that Joseph can "stand alone" if he needed to and will do whats right.

Random fundie boys including Nathan and Lawson drove "all night long" to say that they have been "accountability partners". Jessa says they were "partners in crime" JInger stares off camera.

PARTY!

Boob is grateful for Joseph's maturity and self control. Lots of random guys. Joseph is wearing an "Israel defense fund" t shirt...

[Buzzard]

Episode 1 Part 2

Boob says that Joseph has done a "great job" helping boob and smuggles work out. He explains they need Steve, the trainer because Joseph is going to be re educated.

Steve does an early morning "surprise" visit. MORE DOGS! Where the fuck are they coming from? These look like the other dogs may have had 2 blessings and a cat may be under the toy wagon.

Steve is coming to look at the pantry... Boob is dressed, Michelle pulls Jenny? out of a high chair and pushes it to the table. A small girl tries to get boob to pick her up and he ignores her, talking to Steve. Michelle whisks her away. Likely Jordyn, her hair is a mess.

Boob says he "tried to be a good boy". They go to the pantry. Boob repeats he's "tried to be a good boy again." There is a "powered by pickles" sign in the back. They have starbucks via instant fucking coffee packs. OK, really, you have a keurig and eleventy billion people in the house and you need single packs of instant coffee? BULLSHIT - bad product placement, especially considering Steve hates the product.

Above Boob's fake pantry shelf is a sign that says "TOOLS Tape measure". :lol:

Boob claims he ate green beans for dinner... then he says he ate all the evidence so the pantry inspection went well.

ENTER SMUGGLES! Tonight sir smugsy is wearing a GA TECH yellow shirt and athletic shorts. He claims to have been working out for an hour and 15 minutes (I should mention his shorts are Michigan colors).

Boob now weighs 207. His ass is wearing a button collared shirt. He gained 4 pounds. Smugs is 209, down 1 pound, claims he only ate fruits and vegetables.

Josh wasnt surprised Jim Bob gained weight.

[Inky]

Michelle explains this is the "first time" any of her kids have been off "away from home by themselves." Its also the longest theyve ever been away from home. Michelle puts the gown on him. Camera pans over his left shoulder to MOUNDS of shit all over the floor.

I guess sending Josh off to ALERT is just a distant non-memory. Or maybe someone went with him, but I didn't think so.

[Lillybee]

That coffee bit was odd. Is Boob banned from using Michele's fancy coffee machine?

[DodgeWR]

JimBoob, I believe lying is considered a sin, even if it is just to your trainer. Bragging about being a liar by eating the evidence certainly doesn't make you a good Christian.

[Buzzard]

Episode 1 part 3

Both boob and josh have their watches on. There is a handwritten sign taped to the studs (not those kind of studs) that says "I can do ALL THINGS through Christ who strengthens me!" My money is on Jill as the artist.

Warmup time. Josh does jumping jacks. Boob has to do squats. Josh looks like he's never done a jumping jack in his life.

On to weights, Josh's watch is now off.

Anna says he's "motivated" and "encouraged" and feels better and has energy. Josh says Anna has been helping and making sure he's eating right because she's competitive. Anna says she wants to win. So much for health, eh?

Michelle says that boob is being "consistent and diligent"

Boob says he's being punished for gaining weight.

Josh is "encouraged" that things are paying off. Steve is happy with his improvement. They have a hard time with the workout. I'm guessing that mic strapped to his shorts doesnt help. Half of Josh's ass is hanging out of his shorts.

Boob is winded and says "I've been eating a few little snacks inside and I wish I hadnt done that."

Holy shit, can I have those 10 minutes back? Next time I will watch grass grow.

[Lillybee]

I guess sending Josh off to ALERT is just a distant non-memory. Or maybe someone went with him, but I didn't think so.

Not to mention Jana's trip to Journey to the Heart and Jana and JD's mission trip. Memory loss?

[DodgeWR]

Was I the only one who noticed that JD wasn't actually in any way assisting with flying that plane? The 'instructor' was doing everything, he was clearly the only pilot on that plane.

[DodgeWR]

Please God do not let them adopt. Also, you don't need to tell us that grandma and the older girls are in charge of the kids. That's par for the course, we just assume that at this point.

[Lillybee]

JB and Mullet going on that couple retreat is making me feel ill already.

[Ellimenopy]

Why is Michelle so worked up over her adult son leaving for three months? That's just not that long. It's not like he's even going to be exposed to ideology that she's nt comfortable with.

[Buzzard]

Episode 1 part 4

JD talking head! Next time dont wear a shirt the same color as the background. He says he has "always" wanted a pilots license "since he was young." Is this kind of like how joseph "always" wanted short hair "since he was young?"

Boob says he has 35 hours under his belt and he's done his solo flight and soon he'll have his license. Michelle says that he's always looking for an "opportunity" to fly so Boob "made a decision" that JD, Boob, the instructor and Joseph will fly to Texas... in a tiny little plane.

JD explains he needs his instructor to carry passengers. Michelle is crunchtastic again and uses too many keywords to say that he has a "good head on his shoulders" and knows how to use machines. YAY I NO FAILZ TEH KIDZ!

She's not nervous. JD says it looks 'pretty safe'. All the duggars plus jonathan hartono pull up on the tarmac and say bye. Jessa says "goodbyes are always sad" Jinger smirks. Jana mumbles something about how hard it is for her mom because one day they'll all be on their way. JIll smiles adoringly.

Michelle, again, reminiscing about how fucking awesome she is... "Joseph has always been the same little guy from day one (insert baby pic) even when he was in my tummy he was mellow and laid back. Joseph will always be... they'll all be my... yeah... they will be my gifts from God and I have definitely given them to the lord from the very beginning but I'm still mom."

Michelle is excited because he wasnts to "venture out and experience."

Josie Jordyn and Jennifer go totally off script and its cute. Off they fly and they cheer.... SOmeone yells "touchdown." TLC has a camera in the plane....

Michelle needs to cut out the eulogy shit for all the "grown" kids.

Plane lands. Boob says "Joseph you're a fine young man, I love you, and I'll see you in 9 weeks." Boob says that he will go from being a "little boy" to a man. They fly away, leaving him with all his shit on the tarmac. He treks off through a lonely field with all his shit.

He checks in at a table full of cookies. Finds his room...

YAWN

[Buzzard]

Next week...

Looks like we get to see a whole bunch of shots from the instagram fiasco. Michelle says they've SPOKEN to people who have adopted. What the fuck does that mean?

Second episode is a repeat... hmmm... so not cracking the top 100 last week didnt play so well?

This week gets a 7 for snark based on Michelle's blathering. Its gets a HOLY FUCK for snoozefest. Good thing I had FJ to keep me up!

[Tom Slick]

Did anyone notice just before the first commercial break, for a split,split second one of the guest wearing a pistol in a holster?

you have to be fast, to catch it.

next week promo Jill and Jana TH maybe in the next two years someone will be married as Jill nudges Jana (wink, wink)

I'll have to watch again with a notepad to post more.

[ILoveJellybeans]

Michelle should lurk on here a bit. She could take notes about her children's personality from random internet strangers who know them better than she does.

[WaterIntoBeer]

Was I the only one who noticed that JD wasn't actually in any way assisting with flying that plane? The 'instructor' was doing everything, he was clearly the only pilot on that plane.

Agreed - I don't even think he had his hands on the yoke. Hope he didn't log any hours on that flight.