Fundie Family Friend

[Freed]

We found out a few months ago that an old family friend of my mom's has Stage IV cancer. This friend and her family have been on the batshit end of fundiedom for as long as I can remember. No pants, no denim (it's a masculine fabric), all girls must be feminine ho, fundiememakers, boys rule the house, she never worked, her husband is self-employed/unemployed, five kids (one estranged, four under 13), etc., etc.

At first, they thought it was gallstones. Then, she did a total body cleanse. After that, she got worse and worse, and finally, they actually went to a hospital because she was in so much pain, where before, she'd been going to a naturalist, because they have no insurance and no money. After the diagnosis, they've been focusing on "hardcore prayer" because "God heals all." My parents have been helping to support them (not really easy for us right now), and I just found out that they set up a FB page and a fundraising site.

Why, fundies, why.

ETA: Sorry if this is a bit disjointed, today's not been a super day for my anxiety, and I'm afraid it's showing.

[laura oz]

Those kind of people just depress me so much. My grandmother believed in prayer and didn't go to the doctor until she couldn't swallow. She had throat cancer and was in so much pain. She hung on for 3 years and underwent the usual treatments, but it could have been treated earlier and her outcome would have been drastically better if she had gone earlier. I will never understand why people don't go to the doctor when they are really ill. Just makes me sad and angry. "Laying on of hands" is not a fucking medical treatment and doesn't have a miraculous healing effect if you have something medically wrong with you and aren't just psychosematically (sp?) sick or part of the con.

[YPestis]

That's really sad. The lady should have gone to see a doctor instead of a "full body cleanse". I can sympathize as we also have a fundie friend who goes to see a "chiropractor" who prescribes her mineral pills for her heart. Depending on the type of cancer, Stage IV is usually pretty terminable. I hope your friend does not suffer near the end.

[Jana814]

That's just wrong. Why did she wait so long to see a doctor.

[Freed]

That's just wrong. Why did she wait so long to see a doctor.

She waited because "prayer solves everything."

I forgot to include the sites in the OP:

facebook.com/PrayersForElena?fref=ts

And the fundraising site:

igg.me/p/309880/x/2078400

[Jana814]

Thanks for the link. I hope this woman survives.

[Childless]

It's my experience that prayer never really helps. It helps those involved feel better and/or feel like they're helping in an out of control situation, but in reality, it does nothing. Medical treatments are the only thing that helps and even then they don't always work.

[Jana814]

It's my experience that prayer never really helps. It helps those involved feel better and/or feel like they're helping in an out of control situation, but in reality, it does nothing. Medical treatments are the only thing that helps and even then they don't always work.

Agree!! I have nothing against prayer but medicine helps MORE!!

[GiggleOfGirls]

Sure. Pray, but pray WHILE doing the medical treatments! The two things are really not mutually exclusive :?

[Jana814]

Sure. Pray, but pray WHILE doing the medical treatments! The two things are really not mutually exclusive :?

Agree!!

[Vex]

I always get kind of choked up when I read these stories.

It must be so terrifying and confusing to have believed so long and so hard that prayer cures all, that you're doing the right thing by God, that he's got your back, that you're being rewarded for your piety, and then to be hit with a terminal illness that is terminal precisely because you held back and trusted in God to heal you... I mean, it must shake you to the core. Either your thinking is going to be 'I did everything you asked, I gave you everything I had, and you let this happen to me?!' or it's going to be 'What did I do to bring this upon myself? What is he punishing me for?'

I don't care what the families say about how they're a testimony to faith because the afflicted person is still praising Jesus, or how they're excited to finally be with Jesus or whatever. That person has to have private doubts in themselves and/or in the path the chose or they just wouldn't be human. Maybe in time they come to accept their situation or deal with the anger and become all 'it's God's plan' and 'God is good in his wisdom', but I just cannot believe they don't for the most part have a huge crisis of faith.

Maybe because I don't believe I don't comprehend faith very well or understand people who have faith, but I can't help but feel like they must be so scared and confused when they're diagnosed, especially when it's terminal. It can't help when their family tells them they're a teachable moment or a testimony to faith or all that BS.

[Jana814]

I have to say this whole praying instead of getting the right medical treatment sounds like something the Maxwell family would do.

[ADoyle90815]

Sure. Pray, but pray WHILE doing the medical treatments! The two things are really not mutually exclusive :?

This. If someone is going to use prayer, it should be done while getting medical treatment. At best, it's a placebo effect when combined with actual treatment. Still, there are some cancers that aren't able to be found until it's basically too late to do anything. Many other cancers are treatable if they're found early.

[Blahblah]

So, ALL mainstream medicine is bad? Is that the thinking here along with anti-vaccers etc? Surely these people use cars, phones, the Internet (or we wouldn't have all these blogs). Why is it only medicine that they refuse?

[GiggleOfGirls]

So, ALL mainstream medicine is bad? Is that the thinking here along with anti-vaccers etc? Surely these people use cars, phones, the Internet (or we wouldn't have all these blogs). Why is it only medicine that they refuse?

It seems to be selective form of Luddite-ism from what I can tell, which would also go along with idolizing the past:

"All modern technology is evil!" *whispers* "Unless it's modern technology that allows us to spread our fear of modern technology or that makes our lives (subjectively) easier!" :dance:

[Jana814]

I "liked" their Facebook page, her daughter wrote how much their mother loves teaching them

around the table. Considering this woman is quite they would have stopped school for a while.