Fundies on Facebook- asking for stuff

[homeschoolmomma1]

Why oh Why do I have to see 100 posts with Fundies asking for stuff? I don't mind it every once in a while, but it is like once or twice a week. Some want snappies for cloth baby diapers or bumper pull 4 horse horse trailer or someone with a gooseneck hitch that could tow their trailer to ______ town Saturday. (name taken out to protect the innocent)

I understand people love to help out and I have no problem with that, but after awhile it is just so they can say, "the Lord provided such and such!" I don't buy it. They are asking for hand outs.

Why don't they make the money and buy it themselves if they need it asap. ahhh I know that helping is a great thing, but may be I don't understand this culture they have made of trading among their own?

[Anxious Girl]

How come fundies themselves are the exception when it comes to their no hand-outs policy? Hypocrites, much? :think:

[graciebeth]

They should just do what the Gosselins did when Kate was pregnant/sextuplets early months- create a website and showcase a "prayer list" on the home page... It was so amazing to see how many companies God told to give the Gosselins stuff as an answer to "prayer"!

[Funintended]

They have entitlement issues. Trust me: I know. I have fundie neighbors who can't hardly do or make or go anywhere without asking for something from someone. They don't want cable tv so what do they do when they want to see a game? Why bum off a responsible paying cable customer of course. What do they do when they have another household project to do? Why ask to borrow power tools from someone. What do they do when they need baby gear but don't want to buy their own? Why ask someone for it. I'm all abut helping people out but when they're constantly asking for stuff all the time...... Ummmmm not so much.

[lilwriter85]

Fundies are known for asking for stuff and getting handouts from churches or people in their communities. The Duggars used to get handouts from the church they attended years ago. The Bateses have said that people in their area have taken them clothing and other items. Before Facebook and other social networking sites, fundies probably asked for handouts after church services or at other church activities. Facebook allows them a method to ask for things at any time without having to ask at church.

[rock_girl]

I'd give them a handout. I'd send them books on parenting that are unashamedly anti-corporal punishment. I'd also send them a few basic geology textbooks.

Hopefully those fundies would accept my offerings with Christian grace.

[debrand]

If you do help fundies, they will thank god not you. There is nothing wrong with thanking god but some fundies make it sound as if god directly gave them help with no earthly assistance.

One reason that fundies get help is because people feel bad for their kids.

My church in Iowa used to have guest speakers. One speaker told how her father always tithed no matter how difficult their financial problems. She described a situation in which her siblings needed shoes. Magically, shoes were given to the family by god. She made no mention of gratitude for the actual person that provided their family with hand me down shoes. There was also no acknoweldgment that pity might have driven the giver to help the family.

That day I told my husband that we would not tithe anymore. I wanted my kids to have new shoes not hand me down ones.

[SayNoToMullets]

I think that if they had something like a Freecycle network going on, that would actually be really smart - there's a lot of stuff getting outgrown that could be reused - but that's not what's going on here. It's not about "let's reuse what's already out there," it's about "me, me, me."

[Guest Anonymous]

I don't see the big deal.

It's not like they're stealing the stuff.

[thekate]

I think that if they had something like a Freecycle network going on, that would actually be really smart - there's a lot of stuff getting outgrown that could be reused - but that's not what's going on here. It's not about "let's reuse what's already out there," it's about "me, me, me."

For the Freecycle group that I'm in, you have to offer something before you can ask for something. It is clearly stated that Freecycle is not a charity.

[thoughtful]

I don't see the big deal.

It's not like they're stealing the stuff.

The big deal is:

- they are often the most critical of others who depend on charity or government help.

- they often do not express any gratitude to the human beings who help them -- it's all "by the grace of God."

- they often create their poverty, by not allowing women to work for pay, scorning the education that might get men better jobs (or having men who just give up on work - Gabe Anast, for example), and having many more children than they can afford.

- they often don't give back, just take and take.

- there is often a self-righteous attitude involved, as if somehow they deserve to take without giving because they are so "Godly."

- they often assume that their self-serving advice constitutes "payment" for what they have received -- they are such a "blessing" to others that gifts should be showered upon them (do I see a heart-shaped tornado in the distance?).

Folks, did I miss anything?

These things, combined with their taking the help, create the issues that get under my skin. In general, being in real need and accepting help from others is not something anyone here would criticize.

[Dollypeeps]

The big deal is:

- they are often the most critical of others who depend on charity or government help.

- they often do not express any gratitude to the human beings who help them -- it's all "by the grace of God."

- they often create their poverty, by not allowing women to work for pay, scorning the education that might get men better jobs (or having men who just give up on work - Gabe Anast, for example), and having many more children than they can afford.

- they often don't give back, just take and take.

- there is often a self-righteous attitude involved, as if somehow they deserve to take without giving because they are so "Godly."

- they often assume that their self-serving advice constitutes "payment" for what they have received -- they are such a "blessing" to others that gifts should be showered upon them (do I see a heart-shaped tornado in the distance?).

Folks, did I miss anything?

These things, combined with their taking the help, create the issues that get under my skin. In general, being in real need and accepting help from others is not something anyone here would criticize.

I concur.

[Guest Anonymous]

But if people still choose to give them stuff even though they act like that, what's the big deal?

It's not my money.

[thoughtful]

But if people still choose to give them stuff even though they act like that, what's the big deal?

It's not my money.

It's not mine either. Some of us care about more than ourselves.

Nobody here is going off to kill fundies who ask for stuff, or scream at total strangers who give to them -- it's a snark board, and we are discussing them.

That is all.

[lilwriter85]

The big deal is:

- they are often the most critical of others who depend on charity or government help.

- they often do not express any gratitude to the human beings who help them -- it's all "by the grace of God."

- they often create their poverty, by not allowing women to work for pay, scorning the education that might get men better jobs (or having men who just give up on work - Gabe Anast, for example), and having many more children than they can afford.

- they often don't give back, just take and take.

- there is often a self-righteous attitude involved, as if somehow they deserve to take without giving because they are so "Godly."

- they often assume that their self-serving advice constitutes "payment" for what they have received -- they are such a "blessing" to others that gifts should be showered upon them (do I see a heart-shaped tornado in the distance?).

Folks, did I miss anything?

These things, combined with their taking the help, create the issues that get under my skin. In general, being in real need and accepting help from others is not something anyone here would criticize.

Well said. What bugs me the most is that fundies bash people who receive government assistance, while they get handouts from churches, community members, and religious organizations. It annoyed me when Gil Bates said something on Primetime about how he didn't want to be a burden to the government and that is the reason they don't get government assistance. But yet, the Bateses receive medical care from some kind of free clinic and they said that people give them clothing donations. A lot of people who receive government assistance are only on it, during difficult situations. A lot of them get off welfare, food stamps, etc and then get into stable job/career situations and they pay back into the system. A lot of these fundies never get into better situations and they end up depending on church handouts, neighbor handouts, etc for a long time in some cases at least 20 years.

A lot of these fundies do have the "take take" attitude. Kelly Crawford is an example of that. I would also include Mormon mommy blogger/burn victim Stephanie "Nienie" Nielson to that list. I think families like the Bateses probably do donate clothing or certain things to other families.

[Mela99]

I think that if they had something like a Freecycle network going on, that would actually be really smart - there's a lot of stuff getting outgrown that could be reused - but that's not what's going on here. It's not about "let's reuse what's already out there," it's about "me, me, me."

I bleepin' love Freecycle. I get so many free plants and seeds that way.

I wonder if they accept "lovingly" and "gently" used items. [fundies, obvs, not freecycle] Or if God only awards those to people who don't love him as much as they do.

This kind of reminds me of a crazy story my professor mentioned once. Her cousin was killed in a crosswalk near a school while he was walking home. He got hit by some speed demon, and actually managed to push a neighbor girl who walked with him off to the side before he was hit. She got scrapes, but he was killed instantly.

Later, they were having a wake/whatever it's called when you go visit the family, and she saw the little girl and her parents next door. She asked them if they were coming over, and the mother said, "No. It was his sin that caused his death. God saved my daughter. He was merely an instrument." And then she walked inside.

On the plus side of that, the dad and little girl were horrified and did go visit his parents. And apparently dad filed for divorce not long after that.

[SPHASH]

Why don't these fundies go to garage sales and goodwill to get their clothing? :roll:

Even though the Duggars deny it, I suspect they were on the dole at one point in their lives. I wouldn't begrudge them of it when they were young and had 1-3 kids, but after that and still popping out more, I would be pissed. And people blast black single moms for doing that.

I don't begrudge anyone for taking gov assistance. The way I look at it, they pay taxes so when they are down they should get a hand. (Memo to Mitt the Shit-everyone pays taxes in some form or another, from income to sales). I do have a problem with people abusing the system though like corporate welfare which Mitt wants, he thinks corporations are people, and people who are capable of working but refuse to.

[PennySycamore]

I had a handmade original design seersucker Snugli that I loaned years ago to a fundie-lite couple I knew. I don't think I ever got it back. Well, I want it back now to use with my grandkids. They don't make 'em like that anymore!

I'm redoing my kitchen. I'd like to have at least a 36" Wolf range (or better yet, a Lacanche 40" Cluny model). I am not going to ask for donations, though. I'll bargain with the Wolf dealer, look on eBay and Craigslist for used stoves, or else just pony up the cash myself. Or maybe just settle for a lesser range.

Oh, Mela 99, that story just breaks my heart!

[BravaAmica]

They have entitlement issues. Trust me: I know. I have fundie neighbors who can't hardly do or make or go anywhere without asking for something from someone. They don't want cable tv so what do they do when they want to see a game? Why bum off a responsible paying cable customer of course. What do they do when they have another household project to do? Why ask to borrow power tools from someone. What do they do when they need baby gear but don't want to buy their own? Why ask someone for it. I'm all abut helping people out but when they're constantly asking for stuff all the time...... Ummmmm not so much.

But that's Jeebus laying it on their neighbors' hearts to have them over for the Superbowl, loan out power tools and give away old baby gear. It's only a handout if it comes from the government!!!!

[sparkles]

So I guess this what fundies mean by "god will provide." By laying it upon other people's hearts to step up. Nice racket!

[BoomerLynn]

I bleepin' love Freecycle. I get so many free plants and seeds that way.

I wonder if they accept "lovingly" and "gently" used items. [fundies, obvs, not freecycle] Or if God only awards those to people who don't love him as much as they do.

This kind of reminds me of a crazy story my professor mentioned once. Her cousin was killed in a crosswalk near a school while he was walking home. He got hit by some speed demon, and actually managed to push a neighbor girl who walked with him off to the side before he was hit. She got scrapes, but he was killed instantly.

Later, they were having a wake/whatever it's called when you go visit the family, and she saw the little girl and her parents next door. She asked them if they were coming over, and the mother said, "No. It was his sin that caused his death. God saved my daughter. He was merely an instrument." And then she walked inside.

On the plus side of that, the dad and little girl were horrified and did go visit his parents. And apparently dad filed for divorce not long after that.

Of all of the appalling things I have heard people say, that tops the list as the absolute worst. :cry:

[debrand]

I don't see the big deal.

It's not like they're stealing the stuff.

They run the risk of their children not having necessities because they depend on other's generosity for their survival. That is cruel.

I can't imagine what it is like to be the relative of a family like this. If my grandchildren were in this situation, I would probably help even though the parents would just claim to their kids that god loves them extra special. That means that the cycle of crazy fundamentalism would possible extend for another generation. But it is very hard to watch little children pay for the bad decisions of their egotistical parents.

Because I've had financial difficulties, I am not putting down people who have money problems but fundamentalists often enter into poverty very willingly.

[lilwriter85]

Of all of the appalling things I have heard people say, that tops the list as the absolute worst. :cry:

I agree, it is pretty appalling and I've heard similar things before. I've been reading the paralyzedwithjoy blogger's blog for about a year. That blogger is paralyzed from the neck down due to a car accident in which another driver who was 17 at the time ran a red light and hit her. Heather, the blogger once did a posting titled "Dear Driver". In that posting, she said that she has no ill feelings towards the other the driver, but she said something like" I wonder why God chose that particular person to change my life." I thought that was kind of fucked up for her to say that. I think the story mela99 of the girl's mother saying that guy who died was an instrument is really fucked up.

[Funintended]

But that's Jeebus laying it on their neighbors' hearts to have them over for the Superbowl, loan out power tools and give away old baby gear. It's only a handout if it comes from the government!!!!

Exactly!

But what do you do with adults who act like 5-yr-olds and constantly ask people for stuff? I have young children and when they go to their friends house, I drill them before they leave, "do not ask for food or snacks or candy or stuff or anything the parents don't offer." I do NOT want to raise kids who think they're entitled to other people's property especially after having these neighbors.

To be honest, I keep many of our belongings hidden and a secret in case they would ever find out about it and ask to borrow them. And we lock our doors when we leave simply because there have been times when they just helped themselves to our stuff when we are gone. Yes, you read that right. It's not a burglar we're afraid of, it's the fundie neighbors.

[Wolfie]

Why oh Why do I have to see 100 posts with Fundies asking for stuff? I don't mind it every once in a while, but it is like once or twice a week. Some want snappies for cloth baby diapers or bumper pull 4 horse horse trailer or someone with a gooseneck hitch that could tow their trailer to ______ town Saturday. (name taken out to protect the innocent)

I understand people love to help out and I have no problem with that, but after awhile it is just so they can say, "the Lord provided such and such!" I don't buy it. They are asking for hand outs.

Why don't they make the money and buy it themselves if they need it asap. ahhh I know that helping is a great thing, but may be I don't understand this culture they have made of trading among their own?

It's not just fundies, I see it from some others too- and don't get me started on freecycle. (I find it okay to ask every once in a while, but some people post constantly, wanting expensive stuff too!)