Hallee's baby (?) wearing post

[Lady Elaine]

halleethehomemaker.com/2011/07/baby-wearing

Hallee seemed surprised that more than 10 people asked if she wanted a stroller instead of wearing her baby... except that's no baby. How old is that kid, 2 or 3? He must have been breaking her back, or it must have seemed that way to others or they wouldn't have commented. Of course she just seems to think the world was judging her for transporting her baby in the most normal and natural way any mother would transport a 30 pound kid. It must have looked awfully strange. Isn't there a weight limit for those things?

[maybeizfundie]

I found strollers awkward and uncomfortable to use, don't know if it's my height or what.

I think it was kind of silly to be surprised that people noticed. If you're going to do something unusual, people are going to notice, even if you think it shouldn't be unusual. But if it works for her, and for the kid, there's nothing wrong with it. I toted my kids in a comfortable carrier until they were good walkers, if we had a lot of walking to do. My back is fine. :) It is actually quite a normal and natural way to transport a small child who can't walk well or fast. Just not in this country.

[batwing]

I was scratching my head on that one too.

I've been to the same museum, and I've seen women wearing babies there. But they were, you know, babies. The whole thing strikes me as similar to women who make a big to-do, "someone looked at me because I was breastfeeding!!!!1!" to only draw attention the fact that they breastfed their children. I've whipped one out plenty of times in public and never had a second glance, but I also didn't feel the need to draw attention to myself or the act.

She mentioned that she would've still worn the one and pushed the other in a stroller if she took them to the museum alone. I tried to figure out how old he is (and it turns out he's four and should be walking all by himself now), and saw she just had a combined birthday party for the two boys. I am thinking their birthdays are close together. Now, let me say that my sons were born five years apart but one's birthday is July 8 and the other July 16. As someone whose birthday is close to Christmas and grew up with a combined Christmas/Birthday Party, I swore I wouldn't combine my children's birthdays with any other event, and I don't. They should feel special on their day.

So in this round of Heathen Vs. Hallee, it's a draw. Hallee wins Mommy of the Year for not making her capable children walk (I wonder what Brilliant Husband Gregg would say about his wife not having his children walk upright as humans evolved to do so). But I think I got an equal number of points for letting my kids have their own birthdays regardless of when I evicted them.

[Jessica]

I believe the weight limit for a Moby wrap is about 35 pounds and more for more structured ones like the Ergo.

[contrary]

my soft structured carrier could hold toddlers up to 45 lbs. many of the most popular carriers, baby hawk, beco, ergo (which hallee's is), sell toddler versions.

i think if you wear your babies regularly, your muscles/back/body adjust gradually to their weight.

i do wonder why that kid is on her front, and not her back, though!

[Kaylee]

Most of the structured carriers like that recommend "cutting back" on use around age 3 or over 40 pounds, but also make a point of saying they are tested for 90+ pounds and should be useable "As long as you are comfortable carrying your child in it". I have carried my 7 year old nephew, who weighs over 50 pounds, in a backpack type carrier for a couple hours after he had a problem with his walker - he thought it was cool because it was like a piggyback ride.

It's not all that uncommon for 3,4 , and even 5 years olds to be in them, especially in public places where there is a lot of walking. It's sort of like the 5 year olds in strollers at zoos or amusement parks -they're old enough to walk, but they are going to be tired and sore if made to do that much walking at one time.

As far as the looks, they are pretty common if you're in an area where most people don't babywear, even with an infant in a sling. You get used to them though, and don't really notice, unless you are looking for people looking at you so you can blog about it or cry persecution (like the breastfeeding example someone mentioned, or the modesty bloggers who complain about being stared out because they look like extras from the Amish drama team production of Little House on the Prairie).

[anniebgood]

When my first was in that awkward sort of walking phase, we bought a baby backpack. It was perfect, we could go on hikes, go to conventions and basically go anywhere. My husband though was the carrier. We have a picture at the Devil's postpile of my husband with the baby in a front pack, the boy in the backpack with his hands over his dad's eyes. We had lots of good times with that backpack.

We much preferred it to a stroller because we had our hands free and could do things like shopping and push a cart.

[Kitchen Princess]

I always look at babies in slings/carriers...just because I like looking at babies. Grandma behavior. Don't take it personally. I look at all babies. :)

[emmiedahl]

I have never gotten any kind of 'looks' over wearing a baby***, but I have gotten a lot of positive feedback. People say, "he sure looks happy" or "What a good idea! You actually have your hands free." I have received ample looks over breastfeeding, so it isn't that I have an AP-friendly area.

Fundies seem to see disapproval everywhere. They have their persecution-meter turned up as high as it will go. I don't know if it is because they are so judgmental themselves and projecting that, or if they need to convince themselves that the world is eebil.

***my grandma was dead against it, but that was not a look; she would flat out tell me that my kids were going to be needy, maladjusted beasts because of riding in their sling. Oh yeah, and they were never going to learn to walk.

[Kitchen Princess]

My grandson spent the first six months of his life in a sling, and eating only breast milk. He's 9 months old, now, and just spent the weekend walking around my house and eating everything we handed him. Yes, he started walking at 9 months. =:O

[Beeks]

I would have been surprised too actually. My older son is about that age/size (he's almost 2 and he weighs about 32 pounds and is ridiculously tall). We have an Ergo and I love it. It's completely comfortable. I find strollers annoying, especially in places like that. Baby carriers are super common/trendy around here though so maybe I just don't stand out and so nobody ever asks?

[Feberin]

I have gotten negative comments before from my in-laws about wearing my one year old. I think I was offered a stroller or told that it would be easier if I had just brought the stroller every five minutes. The funny part was it was so much easier for me NOT to have a stroller because I hate looking for elevators. Most people though say nice things and we do use strollers sometimes. It just depends what works better for the situation.

[samithemage]

I don't know, maybe I'm terrible, but all my little one's knew that if they wanted to see the sights, they needed to walk. By the time they were three-ish, it was never really a problem. I always took things slowly and we took lots of breaks, but they knew that if they wanted to go to the zoo or the kids museum, etc. that they weren't going to be carried or pushed. Maybe because their older brother has downs and autism and has trouble walking, talking, eating, etc. and needed all the extra help, they realized that they couldn't always be treated like babies.

[duplessis3]

My eldest rode in a stroller sometimes, though not at 4. We also used a sling. My youngest hate hate hated the sling, and the stroller. I got a hip carrier so he was in that pretty quickly after birth. Once he could walk though - he walked - his choice. He wouldn't ride in a stroller or be carried, which frankly was often a PITA.

[daharyn]

In cramped urban spaces, baby- and toddler-wearing is just way more efficient. I have a colleague who has carried her almost 5-yr-old daughter for years. As her child got more independent, they do it less and less, but it was still something she relied on if they were in a wicked hurry. Now that her daughter's going to kindergarten, I expect that that will be the end of it--but I always thought babywearing was a better way of doing things than pushing a massive stroller along a tiny city sidewalk!

[batwing]

I don't know, maybe I'm terrible, but all my little one's knew that if they wanted to see the sights, they needed to walk. By the time they were three-ish, it was never really a problem. I always took things slowly and we took lots of breaks, but they knew that if they wanted to go to the zoo or the kids museum, etc. that they weren't going to be carried or pushed. Maybe because their older brother has downs and autism and has trouble walking, talking, eating, etc. and needed all the extra help, they realized that they couldn't always be treated like babies.

I'll sit with you on the terrible bench. At age 3 they're booted out of the stroller, even for trips with LOTS of walking (zoo, airport, museums, hiking, etc.) I don't like carrying their crap either, I put a diaper in my purse if they're still in diapers, but otherwise I don't carry sippy cups (they use regular cups), snacks, and various modes of toddler entertainment with me. We hike and camp a lot, and our little guys come with us and I'm not about to carry extra weight. When I wore or put my kids in strollers they were always in and out and in and out and in and out and that slowed us down more than letting the kid taste sweet, sweet freedom.

Not that this is 100% sound logic, but in our school district students that live under 1 mile from the elementary school are not permitted to be bused. My oldest was the youngest in his class, turning 5 right only a few weeks before school started. We live 0.89 miles from the school and are ineligible for busing, but the evil heathen public school has a great walking program set up because all but about 20 students in the entire school (really, we have one bus and it's for the special needs students) walk, bike, or get a ride. Most of the kids have walking groups that are lead by parent volunteers. My husband is a SAHD (the other kind!) and drives during inclement weather, but otherwise our son is expected to walk almost a mile to school and almost a mile back. The summer he turned 4 we practiced the walk many times so he would be familiar with how to cross the road, where our trusted neighbors and his grandparents' house is, etc. We live about 1/2 mile from the library, comic book store, dentist, pharmacy, a donut shop, and McDonalds. At almost 6 he can now find his way to any of those places and prefers to walk rather than drive.

The point of this long winded story is that this is the norm in a LOT of places, at least in my area. If a school, and the majority of parents can agree that a child who turned 5 only a few weeks before can walk one mile to and one mile from a school each day... why would a 4 or 5 year old need to be in a stroller or worn? What would happen if all the sudden the child HAD to walk somewhere of significant distance, like in an emergency? I did the hippie dippie attachment parenting stuff with my babies, so I get it and all, but at some point the kid has to gain some independence.