Benjamin Franklin quote on arrange marriage

[IReallyAmHopewell]

"Where there's marriage without love, there will be love without marriages."

 

The QF/P parents doing courtship and not really allowing their child a say need to heed this advice.

 

[source]

[debrand]

Wasn't it expected throughout most of history, that men would have mistresses? So, society accepted that men were supposed to cheat on their wives. Even in the Old Testament, many of the men had concubines along with wives. I don't get why fundies think that arranged marriages are better or more godly, especially when it involves young kids with no education or life experience.

[tabitha2]

I am related to him by way of a French whore or so the story goes.

[debrand]

I am related to him by way of a French whore or so the story goes.

I've always heard that he appreciated the ladies.

[2xx1xy1JD]

ROTFL!

Years ago, my late grandmother told me about a man who came to the house to express condolences after her husband passed away. It was 1955, and she in her early forties.

He said that he had remembered how he attended high school together, and how they had briefly dated. He mentioned that he had gotten married after graduation, that it was a "shidduch" (arranged marriage) that had allowed him to join his father-in-law's business, and then added, "you know, I never really forgot you". He then suggested that they could get together, and that his wife would never need to know.

Yes - my ultra-ladylike, prim and proper and modest grandmother, in the middle of the 1950s, had this guy propositioning her when my grandfather's body hardly cold.

[Childless]

I think fundies are lunatics. While I love my parents and value their advice, I would never let them pick out my spouse. They would not pick someone with whom I would be compatible. Their idea of a good husband would not be the same as mine. Which is as it should be. They and I are different people. Furthermore, I'm so very glad that my parents have accepted my husband, but even if they hadn't, I still would have married him. No one but the two people involved in the marriage should have any say whatsoever. The job of a parent is to raise a productive adult and then cut the cord and allow them to live their own lives and make their own choices.

[Marian the Librarian]

I think fundies are lunatics. While I love my parents and value their advice, I would never let them pick out my spouse. They would not pick someone with whom I would be compatible. Their idea of a good husband would not be the same as mine. Which is as it should be. They and I are different people. Furthermore, I'm so very glad that my parents have accepted my husband, but even if they hadn't, I still would have married him. No one but the two people involved in the marriage should have any say whatsoever. The job of a parent is to raise a productive adult and then cut the cord and allow them to live their own lives and make their own choices.

From your lips to every control-freak fundamentalist parent's ear!!!

:clap:

[2xx1xy1JD]

I think fundies are lunatics. While I love my parents and value their advice, I would never let them pick out my spouse. They would not pick someone with whom I would be compatible. Their idea of a good husband would not be the same as mine. Which is as it should be. They and I are different people. Furthermore, I'm so very glad that my parents have accepted my husband, but even if they hadn't, I still would have married him. No one but the two people involved in the marriage should have any say whatsoever. The job of a parent is to raise a productive adult and then cut the cord and allow them to live their own lives and make their own choices.

To be fair....I think that parents or friends can help bring the two together, although I totally agree that the final decision belongs to the couple.

I met hubby through friends, and they arranged for me to go on the first date with him.

My sister married the brother of one of her friends from high school. His family thought they'd be good together, so they did little things to make sure that they'd meet and hopefully get together - like suggesting that my sister call him for information about a project, suggest that they catch a ride together, etc.

Luckily, our parents totally adore their sons-in-law. They wouldn't have forbidden us from getting married otherwise, but I think we would have known their feelings and it wouldn't have been as pleasant.

That said, my parents have told me who they would have picked if we still did arranged marriages like my great-grandparents had - and he turned out to be a pathological liar and druggie. They admit I had better taste. My sister also dated a LOT of guys before ending up with her hubby, so she knew what was out there and knew what made her hubby stand out.

[darkplumaged]

If my parents had arranged a marriage for me, they would have looked for someone like my husband (at least as he is now; he had a lot of maturing to do when we met). That said, my mom's idea of an attractive guy can be a little unpredictable, so who knows what he would have looked like.