Differences between "courting" and "bethrotal"?

[fakepigtails73]

I've read that some fundie families think that courting is too "risky" so they do bethrotals instead.

I googled a bit, but I can't really wrap my head around the differences.

Is bethrotal akin to a fundie christian arranged marriage, where the woman has no say if she likes her future spouse or not?

If somebody here would explain to me the main differences I'd be thankful. :ugeek:

[Extricated]

Courtship involves two people getting to know each other with the hopes of getting engaged and then married.

Betrothal jumps right to getting engaged. The girl usually gets a say in it.

[atheistjd]

As best I can tell, given that those words don't really mean anything (quick - define "dating" - ask 10 people, get 10 answers), courtship is the BS "alternative" to dating - basically dating with marriage in mind and some really arbitrary rules thrown in for good measure (chaperones, six-inch rule, no kissing, whatever daddy or local congregation has decided are the rules du jour).

Betrothal can mean any number of things, but is, at least in my understanding, a stage (like "engagement") rather than a process (like dating). Betrothal might mean daddy has promised you to his chosen sub-patriarch, or that you got married in a courthouse but haven't had a religious ceremony or consummated yet, or it could really just mean you are planning to get married (so a fancy word for engaged).

There is no one definition for either though... these fundies love to make it up as they go along...

[fakepigtails73]

Ah ok, thanks!!

I read that in some "off the grid" uber-fundie christians sects the men "spots" the woman that they want to marry, ask the chosen girl's Dad and if he says yes it's off they go to marry...No period where they get to know each other, where they get to pray and think about their future as a couple, nope. It's "I wanna marry HER, I ask the father, he says yes, only the bride's dad knows the exact time of the wedding and it happens a few days after the agreement, the father tells his daughter that her hubby is found" and off they go. Abusive as hell...

Too bad if the groom is a jerk, ugly as a toad, lazy, etc...If he wants her and Daddy agrees, he's her "prince charming". Barf. :(