FIsh With Trish Shaming Women Over Their Clothing Choices

[debrand]

Each Thursday my friend Kristen and I go to a local University and witness to students. A couple weeks ago as we walked into the campus cafeteria a young student was walking out. I couldn't help but notice how horribly low her shirt was. I quickly handed her a tract and said, "Did you get one?" She took it. Then, in a low horrified voice, I covered my mouth and said to her, "Uh Oh!" as I pointed several times at her chest area. She frantically looked down, as if she had no idea, and started buttoning everything up. Then she responded, "Thanks." I wonder how long she walked around the campus with her shirt like that -without anyone saying a word.

Yesterday, when I got home from evangelism, this was in my inbox from, Kristen:

I went to a fast food restaurant today, one where you drive up and order your food, and then a carhop brings it to your car. As I was contemplating what to order, I noticed three guys looking at one of the female carhops that was on roller skates. As she rolled by me, I saw exactly why they were looking at her. Her shorts were the shortest shorts I have ever seen on a human being, and everything in the rear was showing. Immediately, I thought, “I have to do something! Like leave this place! I don’t even know this girl, how can I correct her attire? Surely, one of her co-workers will say something.†My panic attack lasted about thirty seconds, and then I knew that I had to be the one to say something to her. Clearly, none of her co-workers had, and they weren’t going to. So, I placed my order and waited for her to bring it out. But a different girl began walking toward me with my order. Lord, could this get any more awkward? Now You expect me to ask the carhop that brought my food to tell Shorty-Shorts to come over to my car? Needless to say, that’s exactly what I did and she came skating over. I couldn’t even look up as she was rolling toward me; I knew this was going to be painful for both of us. I had never said anything to anybody about their dressing immodestly, so I had no idea what I was going to say. “Yes ma’am?†she said.

“Hey, I just wanted to tell you that those guys were kind of gawking at you, and I think it’s because your shorts are so short. I’m sure you didn’t realize. Just thought you would want to know, because I know I don’t like it when guys gawk at me.â€

“Oh, thank you. It’s because my shorts are too big, and they kept falling down, so I had to belt them up high.â€

“Well, I just thought you would want to know, because I don’t like guys gawking at me either,†I said again for some reason.

“Well, thank you.†And she rolled away.

Now, I have no idea if she made any adjustments to her shorts or not because I left rather quickly, but at least I said something. Driving away I thought of all the things I should have said and done, but in my nervousness totally forgot about, such as handing her the gospel tract that I had in my lap at the ready. But I didn’t kick myself too badly because it was my first time confronting someone in this way, and I knew, that just like with evangelism, it would get a little easier each time. -Kristen

--

If you're reading this and you can relate in any way to these two accounts but you've been nervous to say anything, just know you are not alone. There are now two of us doing this and if you start that will make 3! :-)

Join the "Uh-Oh" Club. And I'm not joking. I want to hear from you. Here's what you can do, the next time you see a lady that is dressed in an immodest fashion: Hand her a tract and say something to the effect of, "Here, this is for you." Or you can say, "Did you get one of these." And then point to the immodest area and with a horrified look, say "Uh -Oh". And better yet, perhaps you can talk to her. Either way, I'd like to hear what happens. Either send me an email (email [at] fishwithtrish.com) or post below.

Confronting someone in this way is not easy. But don't forget, that just like with evangelism, it will get easier each time.

I look forward to hearing from you.

[debrand]

fishwithtrish.blogspot.com/2011/06/uh-oh-club-for-ladies-only.html

[erunerune]

"Uh-oh. Someone's totally going to get punched in the face at some point should they choose to continue witnessing in this fashion." It seems like they are mostly limited to picking on women in service jobs who don't have the leeway to actually say what they think of their obnoxious customers.

[DamnPrecious]

If someone said something about how low my shirt was, I would flash them.

[Koala]

"Uh-oh. Someone's totally going to get punched in the face at some point should they choose to continue witnessing in this fashion." It seems like they are mostly limited to picking on women in service jobs who don't have the leeway to actually say what they think of their obnoxious customers.

Yep. Here's hoping one of these young ladies has the guts to tell them to fuck off.

[Guest Anonymous]

"Uh-oh. Someone's totally going to get punched in the face at some point should they choose to continue witnessing in this fashion." It seems like they are mostly limited to picking on women in service jobs who don't have the leeway to actually say what they think of their obnoxious customers.

Let's see how brave she is when confronting a woman lawyer, stockbroker or anyone else whose livelihoods aren't contingent on putting up with little bluenoses like her. Punching her in the face, while satisfying to the puncher, wouldn't do much good. It would merely reinforce her belief that any dissent is persecution. My reaction would be to accept the tract then march to the nearest wastebasket while making sure that I was in plain sight of her the whole time. If I was pissed off enough, I would rip it in half while I was at it.

[Guest Anonymous]

Yep. Here's hoping one of these young ladies has the guts to tell them to fuck off.

Unfortunately, few are in a position to do so and still keep their jobs.

[debrand]

If someone said something about how low my shirt was, I would flash them.

It would be far more effective-and less likely to get the police involved- if you asked them if they were sexually attracted to you. You could assure them that you aren't open to their advances and that if they don't stop coming on to you, you will be forced to file a report with the police.

[debrand]

This is a hard issue. Especially in Christian circles. My son was almost five when he nonchalantly told us that there were a couple of ladies in our church that wear shirts that are low in the front, and for some reason he sees their 'bubble tops.' He said he didn't know why his eyes wanted to look at them, but he sometimes would count how many times the 'bubbles' bounced when they walked. We taught our son about not looking and everything, and I have to say I was shocked that he was so young and was noticing.

This is from the comments under the article. Of course, if you tell your son not to look, he will look. Is this woman ignorant?

[GenerationCedarchip]

Okay, so this lady describes her reaction seeing short shorts as a "panic attack"? :violin:

This gives me a great mental image of what these pearl-clutching clothing confrontations must have looked like. Think The Church Lady from SNL. :eusa-naughty:

[Austin]

This is from the comments under the article. Of course, if you tell your son not to look, he will look. Is this woman ignorant?

It seems pretty much a given that she is completely ignorant.

[kb2]

She couldn't have walked over to the guys, and told THEM to stop being disrespectful?!?!?! That whole thing makes me so mad, I'm tempted to write this whole comment in all-caps.

[Lainey]

This is from the comments under the article. Of course, if you tell your son not to look, he will look. Is this woman ignorant?

Aren't kids generally fascinated by boobs? I know I was. I used to poke at my mom's and I wanted my own SO bad that I'd put balls under my shirt and pretend I had them. It seems to me that my brother was fascinated with them, too. I think it's ingrained...or were we just really weird kids?

[SlipmeaMikki]

Aren't kids generally fascinated by boobs? I know I was. I used to poke at my mom's and I wanted my own SO bad that I'd put balls under my shirt and pretend I had them. It seems to me that my brother was fascinated with them, too. I think it's ingrained...or were we just really weird kids?

The 4 year old boy I nanny for is obsessed with boobs and butts. I think most kids are! I work with kids a lot and I have been felt up many times before I could catch a wandering hand. It is natural for them to be curious because they are body parts that little kids don't have.

[Love]

Aren't kids generally fascinated by boobs? I know I was. I used to poke at my mom's and I wanted my own SO bad that I'd put balls under my shirt and pretend I had them. It seems to me that my brother was fascinated with them, too. I think it's ingrained...or were we just really weird kids?

At 5 years old, you are closer to being young enough to breastfeed and utilize breasts as a food source than you are old enough to start being sexually active. Is it possible that we as humans are wired to look at boobies, because they are a source of nutrition for us? Just maybe? Oh no, wait. Boobies are just a poor, poor stumbling block for the poor, poor men with no will power. damn the boobies!

[JesusFightClub]

What everyone said about kids and body parts. If you've ever been a caregiver for a small kid (mum, dad, aunt, uncle, childminder, granny, grandpa, brother, sister etc) you know you'll get a barrage of questions as soon as they can talk. Totally natural, totally appropriate.

I am also completely weirded out that these women profess to be fundamentalist Christians, with all the beliefs that go along with that, and the thing they're most concerned about is how (presumed) nonChristians dress. That is like knowing someone's going to be killed in five minutes but wanting to make sure they die with the right toenail polish on.

[erunerune]

She couldn't have walked over to the guys, and told THEM to stop being disrespectful?!?!?! That whole thing makes me so mad, I'm tempted to write this whole comment in all-caps.

+1 on this -- if she had to say something to someone (and you KNOW she did), why not pick on the guys for not guarding their eyes???????

[Lainey]

Heck, even my cat occasionally tries to go for my boobs. I stop him before his fangs can get anywhere near there, of course (ouch! :shock: ). But does that mean I'm defrauding my cat? Or does it mean that he sees me as his "mommy," thinks he's still a little kitten, and thinks there's food available there? ;) I think it's the latter.

[InkyGirl]

Heck, even my cat occasionally tries to go for my boobs. I stop him before his fangs can get anywhere near there, of course (ouch! :shock: ). But does that mean I'm defrauding my cat? Or does it mean that he sees me as his "mommy," thinks he's still a little kitten, and thinks there's food available there? ;) I think it's the latter.

My new kitten does that! Ouchy! He also likes to knead on them. :shock: oowwie.

[tehfanglyfish]

I also love how, with the story of the college campus woman, she implies that when the woman thanked her for pointing out her unbuttoned shirt, the woman was essentially lying. (I have terrible luck with button-up shirts that like to unbutton themselves and I know I've had days where I've essentially been flashing my bra to people and been completely unaware. :oops: ) This isn't to say that there's anything wrong with low cut shirts - it's just that these women seem to assume that anyone wearing revealing clothing is lying and evil and awful and who know what.

Edit for typo.

[Lillybee]

This woman should take her modesty warnings to some of the women who shop at Walmart. I don't think most of them would be polite responding.

[Aristeia]

Sorry to derail a bit but this part jumped out at me:

Immediately, I thought, “I have to do something! Like leave this place! I don’t even know this girl, how can I correct her attire?

Correct a grown woman`s attire? Can you get any more condescending?

[Guest Anonymous]

What everyone said about kids and body parts. If you've ever been a caregiver for a small kid (mum, dad, aunt, uncle, childminder, granny, grandpa, brother, sister etc) you know you'll get a barrage of questions as soon as they can talk. Totally natural, totally appropriate.

I am also completely weirded out that these women profess to be fundamentalist Christians, with all the beliefs that go along with that, and the thing they're most concerned about is how (presumed) nonChristians dress. That is like knowing someone's going to be killed in five minutes but wanting to make sure they die with the right toenail polish on.

I liken it to re-arranging the deck chairs on the Titanic.

[thoughtful]

This woman should take her modesty warnings to some of the women who shop at Walmart. I don't think most of them would be polite responding.

Ooooh! Fish With Trish Meets People of Walmart is an idea rife with comic possibilities!

"Uh-oh! UH-OH! Ma'am? MA'AM? You must not have noticed that your . . .skirt . . .blouse . . . red thing . . . whatever -- it just looks like EVERYTHNG shrank somehow since you left home!

Ma'am? Why are you shrugging? Eeek, don't shrug -- your top is slipping down!

Glad to see you are headcovering, though, sister."

[dormouse]

Just looked at her site, she's passing tracts at mosques and buddhist temples... so if she does that, I think she had no shame telling people how to dress.