Ties between the Ezzos and the Pearls??

[titus2_4u]

With all the attention that the Pearls have been getting lately, I've been wondering if there's any link between them and the Ezzos, the couple that wrote "Growing Kids God's Way." I know that there are similarities in their extreme fundamentalist attitudes and parent-centric version of child-rearing, but I didn't know if there were any accusations of abuse with those books.

I know that stereotypically the books can draw the same crowd, too, but is there any history of the authors supporting/recommending each other?

[CanadianHippie]

I don't know about abuse accusations, but there have been documented cases of dehydration and failure to thrive with Ezzo's baby rearing books.

ezzo.info is a good place to start with finding out about the dark side of ezzo.

I can't say if there has ever been any cross recommendations or support though.

[slp]

I doubt it, b/c Debi is very pro co sleeping and extended breastfeeding. The Pearls are an odd mix of attachement parenting practices with punitive stuff and spanking for babies.

On the one hand, they talk a lot about letting kids be kids and be out playing and allowing lots of outdoor freedoms, etc. On the other they have no tolerance for childishness at all. Very strange.

[emmiedahl]

I know so many people who do Ezzo. The more I hear about the books, the more I fear for their children.

Those Mormon relatives I spent Thanksgiving with--they are huge on Ezzo. I was rocking my baby to sleep and the mom told me that she wished she could do that. I said, You can't rock your baby? She said, We can't let her fall asleep on us or hold her while she sleeps.

I don't know a lot about Ezzo, but it seems that you cannot hold them when they are sleepy (they need to learn to fall asleep themselves) and you aren't really supposed to hold them when they are fussy (encourages negative behavior). So you only hold the baby when they are happy I guess? When they need you the least and could be playing or crawling around... doesn't compute with me.

[titus2_4u]

Yeah, I knew a family that was really into the Ezzos. It was weird when the kids were older: the parents were really into the idea of their family unit always being together and going places together, but the kids were always relegated to the background. At church, the parents were social and would spend hours chatting with people, while the kids just stood beside them and didn't speak unless spoken to.

It was such an odd juxtaposition to see. Most families I've seen that are that big on bragging about the "family unit," and trying to make that central in church and society have a pretty kid-focused agenda. This couple just seemed selfish.

[Mama Mia]

I can't bring myself to read the Pearls .. but wow, that is really bizarre that they are pro co-sleeping / attachment / extended Breast Feeding AND like to beat the hell out of little kids.

I think that makes them even worse as human beings than if they were the stand offish, cry it out baby in their own crib, prop a bottle types ... how do you bond that closely with your baby and then advocate beating them ????

[apple1]

... how do you bond that closely with your baby and then advocate beating them ????

I don't think they bond much. I think co-sleeping (in their case) is merely to save the expense of a crib, or of a separate room, and BFing avoids the expense of formula. As mentioned in the AC/Pearl thread, I think the Pearls may be dissociative. I think their entire ability to bond is impaired.

[Brainsample]

They're both spiritually abusive (i.e., thought reform programs). They're both a formula, and you sign over your critical thinking in favor of someone else's list of rules. They both dangle you and your child over the pits of hell (like the little Williams boy said before his dad made him clam up), and if you fail to work the program to perfection, you damn your poor kid to a life of pain and possibly an eternity in hell. Not to mention that you'll answer to God for being a negligent parent.

[thoughtful]

Let's not forget these paragons of love and nurturing, too:

http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/James_Dobs ... g_children

www.scribd.com/doc/51769714/What-the-Bi ... g-Excerpts

http://www.drmomma.org/2010/01/how-span ... -life.html

[mnb357]

Let's not forget these paragons of love and nurturing, too:

http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/James_Dobs ... g_children

http://www.scribd.com/doc/51769714/What ... g-Excerpts

http://www.drmomma.org/2010/01/how-span ... -life.html

I had no idea who Dobson was until once, shortly after my oldest was born, my mother and I heard his radio snippet in the car about getting toddlers to eat. I wasn't paying any attention at all until I heard my mother declare this, her most daming charge: "Oh, Lord, what a jackass this guy is!"

[Guest Anonymous]

I had no idea who Dobson was until once, shortly after my oldest was born, my mother and I heard his radio snippet in the car about getting toddlers to eat. I wasn't paying any attention at all until I heard my mother declare this, her most daming charge: "Oh, Lord, what a jackass this guy is!"

I wish my mother had thought that. She just lurves her some Dobson. He beats children and dogs, I can't fathom how people think he is a good person.

[mnb357]

I don't understand the love affair people have with Dobson either. After that incident, I did pay attention a few times if I happened to hear his radio moments in the car. She was right, he's a jackass.

[Mama Mia]

And Dobson apparently even thinks the Ezzo's are too inflexible and over-the-top. There was a quote from him on that anti-ezzo site.

[VeraAnne]

I got married in a church that was big on the whole Ezzo/GKGW thing. We were given the books by a church member when our first child was born. Our son had special medical needs and had to be fed on schedule in order to give him his medications, so it didn't really seem that different than what we were already doing. However, once we got into the toddler stage, it was clear that the Ezzo's teachings were abusive. Expecting first time obedience from a 15 month old is ridiculous. We threw away the books and never looked back.

From my experience, people who follow Ezzo are very similar to Pearlites. The only difference is that Babywise is more mainstream, and doesn't advocate beating with anything but your hand.