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Anna at Domestic Felicity - backpedaling on birth control?


bea

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Reading today's post at Domestic Felicity today makes me think that maybe Anna has realized that a huge family A) isn't mandated by Judaism and B) might not be possible for someone at her energy levels.

Hmmm.

http://ccostello.blogspotdotcom/2011/11 ... pride.html

I wondered how long it would take for her to realize her idyllic, slooooooooooooow lifestyle wouldn't exactly be conducive to 57 kids. She barely had the energy to function as a stay-at-home-wife. If she kept having a kid a year? No bueno.

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Wow. She actually used her brain and considered facts & reality rather than a fundie Christian ideal from the other side of the world?

I find that hard to believe, but if it is what she's done, kudos to her for getting her head out of her rear and acknowledging that her religion is not simply a version of American fundie religions and Orthodox Jews do not follow biblical helpmeet and a kid a year mandates some have interpreted to come from the bible.

I know next to nothing about Orthodox Judaism but I do know that they are not fundies in disguise.

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Very interesting, bea -- thanks! I hope, for Anna's sake, that your speculation is on target. She does imply that using birth control is acceptable mainly in "radical" situations, so I'm not quite sure what's going through her head. I do think, though, that her discussion of this issue is not purely theoretical...

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She does imply that using birth control is acceptable mainly in "radical" situations,

I believe, to Anna, being overly stressed and overextended is a radical situation. She simply CANNOT work 24/7. She MUST have daily naps to recharge. Remember, this is a woman who believed that she was at the emotional and physical breaking point because she had to work 2 half-days part-time while her headship was unemployed.

For her sake and the sake of her children, I'm glad it seems that she's starting to realize that just because it's okay for American fundies who have boundless energy or *cough* child-slaves - that it's not good for her.

I think she's on BC. First she wrote about her deep fear of another pregnancy, which she wrapped up in another anti-hospital, ebil doctor rant. Then she has had a few posts about not taking on more than one needs to take on and taking life slow. And she's been a little more honest about saying that each person needs to find the lifestyle which suits them best. Now BC isn't totally evil.

Yep, she's on BC and there won't be any more babies or, at least, not for at least two more years.

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I hope so.

I for one have never thought children fit very well into a "simple life", never mind multiple children (I am somewhat fanatical about my freedom, though, ha). I am glad to see that she may be taking steps to realize that having children, and determining how many children you have, is a choice.

I expect having two young children has been quite the wake-up call as to what having that many children really would mean. I know many parents who said going from one child to two, was more like jumping from one to four (not sure if that means 4 are more like 8... :? ) - especially when they are both young/hitting the toddler stage!

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Guest Anonymous

She strikes me as being far too full of pride to backtrack openly or admit she has ever been wrong. But, yeah, I am glad she is giving her womb a rest. She seems to have already excluded mom and grandma from her life, if she were to increase her quiver, she would probably need to put the kids on rotation for attention.

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Also, an important thing to keep in mind is that a large family isn't, or at least shouldn't be, a cultural statement. Children aren't trophies or achievements, they are ours not as our possessions, but in the sense of belonging to us as we belong to them, and as we all together, as a family, belong to one Maker who placed us all on this earth and blessed us by bonding us for life.

Someone should go staple this to Chris Jeub's head.

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Someone should go staple this to Chris Jeub's head.

I volunteer! I get to use a big ol' staple gun, right? :twisted: Maybe I should aim somewhat lower...

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Did I call it? Yeppers I did!. :D

This new post's appearance shortly after her post about a 'fear' of impending pregnancy (which she then blamed on the evil doctors and evil hospitals) make me think Anna is seriously considering spacing her children out.

This is the woman who was utterly EXHAUSTED when she had to work two days a week when her husband was unemployed. It was just stretching her to the limit that she had to take two days out to work and then come back and take care of ONE infant (with her husband at home full time....).

Is it any surprise that she may be reconsidering a houseful of young children? I can only imagine how tiring to have two kids under the age of 2. I'm sure Anna is becoming terrified with the thought of three kids under 4, or five kids under 7. The way I see it, Anna doesn't want the quiverful life, she wants a quiet, simple, restful life. She wants to be able to take naps, take leisurely strolls, sit on a hill and watch the sun set. All very nice. However, not conducive to having a houseful of kids.

Maybe this is a sign that Anna won't be so militant about her life stance. I feel that she used to be very nonjudgmental and thoughtful in her posts. After her marriage, she became increasingly right wing and insistence that her choice was the way to do it, that ALL women secretly covet the quiverful lifestyle. I wondered how much of that was her husband's influence. Now, she's softened her stance. I only hope that her husband won't be an impediment to this new attitude.

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I hope this means that she realized with a bunch of young kids you can't take naps every day or have a quiet restful life. I hope she understands that she couldn't handle 2 and a half days of work, she can't handle 5 kids under 5. I hope she realized she doesn't need live the life of a fundie Christian quiverfuller, because she is an Orthodox Jew and that's not the same thing.

Mostly i hope she's on birth control now and she realizes it would be best for her family if she stays on it.

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I believe, to Anna, being overly stressed and overextended is a radical situation. She simply CANNOT work 24/7. She MUST have daily naps to recharge. Remember, this is a woman who believed that she was at the emotional and physical breaking point because she had to work 2 half-days part-time while her headship was unemployed.

For her sake and the sake of her children, I'm glad it seems that she's starting to realize that just because it's okay for American fundies who have boundless energy or *cough* child-slaves - that it's not good for her.

I think she's on BC. First she wrote about her deep fear of another pregnancy, which she wrapped up in another anti-hospital, ebil doctor rant. Then she has had a few posts about not taking on more than one needs to take on and taking life slow. And she's been a little more honest about saying that each person needs to find the lifestyle which suits them best. Now BC isn't totally evil.

Yep, she's on BC and there won't be any more babies or, at least, not for at least two more years.

THIS! I can't see Anna admitting she was wrong. This is probably as close to it as she will come. I can't even begin to imagine the luxury of only having to work two half days a week. THAT stretched her to the breaking point!?!? Child, please! Take a vitamin and drink some coffee.

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THIS! I can't see Anna admitting she was wrong. This is probably as close to it as she will come. I can't even begin to imagine the luxury of only having to work two half days a week. THAT stretched her to the breaking point!?!? Child, please! Take a vitamin and drink some coffee.

Some people just don't have the energy, and drinking coffee & taking a vitamin is NOT going to give them the energy they need to get through life comfortably. I've had to rethink my stance on kids. I would love to have one or two, but I'm totally low-energy, and can barely get by on my own. I can't imagine having to care for some kids in any spare time I'd find.

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Some people just don't have the energy, and drinking coffee & taking a vitamin is NOT going to give them the energy they need to get through life comfortably. I've had to rethink my stance on kids. I would love to have one or two, but I'm totally low-energy, and can barely get by on my own. I can't imagine having to care for some kids in any spare time I'd find.

I was being flip when I wrote take a vitamin and drink some coffee. I am rather low energy myself and coffee doesn't help. If she didn't have such a militant attitude about what a woman's role should be in this world, I would be more sympathetic.

Edited for a riffle.

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I consider myself on the low-normal end of energy. However, certain types of stimulation or emotional upset can render me almost useless. I think some of that on my part can be traced to being strongly introverted but I wonder if some of my low, low energy times are related to depression. Is Anna is clinically depressed? Or is there a personality type that is simply low energy? Or on the other hand, is it most likely a physical problem (thyroid?)? Any ideas? I have read Anna for years but not "religiously" so I think I have missed a lot.

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Wow, if she's decided to start using some form of birth control, I'm thrilled that she's putting her own health first. But if that's what's going on, I wish she would be balls-out honest about it. People need to hear it.

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Guest Anonymous

I wonder if she is writing this as a passive-aggressive way to challenge her husband's views? I seem to recall a bunch of very scathing posts about Jewish men who don't work to support their families, in the weeks leading up to the announcement that her husband was unemployed and she was on her last legs working those two half days in an admin job. :roll:

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In the comments section she clarifies she is talking about non hormonal bc. Since condoms and other sperm wasting methods aren't allowed, I guess she's talking about nfp?

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Guest Anonymous
In the comments section she clarifies she is talking about non hormonal bc. Since condoms and other sperm wasting methods aren't allowed, I guess she's talking about nfp?

She has said elsewhere that she does not think nfp is right, as Jewish rules around menstruation mean that couples are already separated during their non-fertile time.

Maybe she is thinking of the coil, as Jews don't have the same beliefs about 'life from conception' which makes this problematic for fundies?

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