Which of the McDonald kids are adopted?

[Corntree]

Stacy has said that 4 of her 10 children are adopted. Does anyone know which 4? I've thought that maybe Christa was adopted - she used to give me this ugly stepsister kind of vibe. She dresses frumpier than the other girls and maybe she's just shy, but she also seemed to be in less pictures than the others. Later I changed my mind, but I still wonder. I thought for sure Tiffany was one of their bio children, as IMO she looks just like James, but I saw mention of a birthmother on another snarky site and now I'm wondering. Anyway, does anyone know?

[ophelia]

could you post a link? I'm not sure whether I know the family you are talking about..

[stonefruit]

McDonald mère blogs at yoursacredcalling.com

My understanding is that James IV (??), Christa, and Tiffany are "adopted" in the sense that Stacey is not their birth mother (I forget James' first wife's name - Sandy, maybe?), but I can't figure out if the fourth "adopted" kid is Melissa or Jessica.

[Corntree]

Oh!!! Thank you! What Stacy said precisely is that she had given birth to 6 of their 10 children, so I assumed adoption. I've been reading the McDonald blogs forever - I can't believe I didn't know that James had had children with another woman Of course, that's the sort of thing they wouldn't want to talk about too much. I assume Melissa is the fourth "adopted" kid, since she's older than Jessica.

[zandria]

Meli is also James and Sandy's daughter, adopted by Stacy.

Jessica is Stacy's bio daughter, adopted by James.

[Kate]

Melissa, along with James, Christa, and Tiffany are from James' first marriage and Jessica is from Stacy's first marriage, the rest of the kids (Abigail on down) are James' and Stacy's together.

I think it was about 2 years ago that Stacy posted a multi-part series on it on her blog

Eta: yeah, what Zandria said!

[GenerationCedarchip]

Meli is also James and Sandy's daughter, adopted by Stacy.

Jessica is Stacy's bio daughter, adopted by James.

So, wait. What happened to the first spouses of these two? Do they not have any relationship with their children? I knew the McDonalds had both been divorced(and I've heard whispers about his divorce in my old church but nothing concrete), but I didn't know that their ex-spouses were totally out of the kids' lives or anything like that.

[Nurse Jenna]

As far as I understand, none of the James’s kids have any relationship with their birth mother. Christa even goes out of her way to state that she is “A daughter of James and Stacy McDonaldâ€. I remember reading something on DataLounge under the heading of “Passionate Adulterers Desperate for Excuses†that per S and J both of their spouses cheated on them and S and J did everything in their power to stay married to the offending party but the cheating spouses wanted out. Honestly I don’t believe it’s all that cut and dry.

Here is the link to Sandy’s blog

http://apeekintosandysgarden.blogspotDOTcom

[MamaJunebug]

http://apeekintosandysgarden.blogspot.com/

Claiming that they tried so hard to stay married to philandering [sic] spouses is a step up from claiming they had no prior marriages. Which is, IIRC, what they were doing 5, 6 years ago, when I first found them on the Patriarch's Path website.

Nasty business.

[Corntree]

Well, that's sad. :( Reading Sandy's blog, I feel like she still sees the 4 oldest as her kids, but they don't see her as their mom. I've never seen any of the kids mention her (though I know someone's blog isn't an accurate depiction of their entire life). I'm being mean, but it's like the McDonalds couldn't have their perfect Christian family if birthmom Sandy was in the picture, so they made her the bad guy to have an excuse to get rid of her. I'm sure she made her share of mistakes, but she obviously still loves her kids. I think this is a touchy subject for me because I'm a mom and I hate the thought of a mom kept away from her kids (unless she's really horrible or something).

I will say in favor of Stacy that I thought she was pretty honest and open about the whole thing when she discussed it on her blog a couple of years ago. Her life is scrutinized more than many people's and sharing something like that opens you up to criticism (from people like us, heh). I myself would be reluctant to share that sort of thing if I knew others would tear me apart for it.

[Want More Babies]

Slightly off topic but still on Stacy McDonald and "her" 10 children. In the book she co-authored with Jennie Chancey she wrote in Chapter 3 "Embracing Your Sacred Calling" from the book, Passionate Housewives Desperate for God this little tibit.

"I recently calculated the potential in our own family. If each of my children only bears half the number of children that I have, my husband and I will be blessed with 50 grandchildren. Skip only one generation, and assume my great-grandchildren each have five, and I've left a legacy of 1,250 great, great-grandchildren! This may seem far off, but this coming spring, we are expecting my own grandmother to hold in her arms her first great-great grandchild!" (p. 43).

It does seem far off since I haven't heard of James the whatever number he is having any children (she NEVER speaks or posts of him) and Ms. Christa McDonald Blanchard is in the throes of infertility and has only one.

Who knows maybe Christa's husband will pull a James on her, leave her and take that one child and kick her to the curb and not let her be a part of the child's life. I bet then she will have some compassion for her mother (Sandy). I feel so bad for Sandy and pray every day that her four children will wake up and get their senses about them and see what their Dad and Stacy did to them. Christian my butt!! James had this post a few years back about honoring your parents and how he honored his father even though he wasn't a honorable man, blah, blah, blah. It was all about James looking good. Anyway, too bad he didn't teach that to his children so they could honor and respect their mother.

They are the poster children for hypocrites!!

[zandria]

I will say in favor of Stacy that I thought she was pretty honest and open about the whole thing when she discussed it on her blog a couple of years ago.

I vaguely remember that she didn't start discussing it until someone had dug up Sandy's blog or found some early photos of James, Sandy and their first four kids. That is, she only became "honest and open" when she couldn't perpetuate the fiction of being their bio mother any longer in the face of evidence to the contrary.

Anyone remember this better than I do?

[Austin]

I vaguely remember that she didn't start discussing it until someone had dug up Sandy's blog or found some early photos of James, Sandy and their first four kids. That is, she only became "honest and open" when she couldn't perpetuate the fiction of being their bio mother any longer in the face of evidence to the contrary.

Anyone remember this better than I do?

She didn't start "being honest" about anything until she was forced to be. Stacy and James McDonald are some of the most inherently dishonest people in these circles.

[MamaJunebug]

I found this

yoursacredcalling.com/blog/2009/03/beauty-for-ashes-a-testimony-3/

in which she discusses their imperfect pasts.

I'm pretty sure that Patriarch's Path is so gone the Wayback Machine couldn't find ... well, wait a minute! See you in a few. ;)

ETA: My time's limited today ( :cry: ) but I did find this:

http://web.archive.org/web/200307162129 ... _Woman.htm

I remember reading it and presumign that when they married, it was just the two of them. Mentioning that they married and brought five children into the home immediately may/not have improved the article. And it isn't as if she claimed they married for the first time, and it might not have been germane to the article. Whatever, there you have it. Yay, Wayback Machine!

[GenerationCedarchip]

Well, that's sad. :( Reading Sandy's blog, I feel like she still sees the 4 oldest as her kids, but they don't see her as their mom. I've never seen any of the kids mention her (though I know someone's blog isn't an accurate depiction of their entire life). I'm being mean, but it's like the McDonalds couldn't have their perfect Christian family if birthmom Sandy was in the picture, so they made her the bad guy to have an excuse to get rid of her. I'm sure she made her share of mistakes, but she obviously still loves her kids. I think this is a touchy subject for me because I'm a mom and I hate the thought of a mom kept away from her kids (unless she's really horrible or something).

I will say in favor of Stacy that I thought she was pretty honest and open about the whole thing when she discussed it on her blog a couple of years ago. Her life is scrutinized more than many people's and sharing something like that opens you up to criticism (from people like us, heh). I myself would be reluctant to share that sort of thing if I knew others would tear me apart for it.

I'd seen Sandy's blog and I'd wondered about that, too. It makes me wonder what happened that would so alienate her children from her. Also, since I am still on good terms with most of my family, I end up visiting back at the fundie-farm from time to time and I'd heard whispers of something though I never got any details. Most of the VF crowd gets mentioned in very glowing terms at this church but the McDonalds are always spoken of in a way that implies that there might be something unsavory in the history there - at least on his side.

[Corntree]

Well, it did occur to me that they only became honest about it when forced to, but I was trying to be nice. :) And MamaJuneBug, that link you dug up from The Patriarch's Path is one I remember and I agree that it gives one the impression that neither James nor Stacy had been married before. Knowing that she had been married before helps the first paragraph make sense, though:

Before my husband and I met, I managed apartments and had been extremely self-sufficient. However, I did have a deep desire to have a Christian marriage, a Godly husband, be a submissive wife and have many children that I could stay home with training in the ways of the Lord. Because of my own rebellion and worldly training, I had developed, in my lifetime, quite an independent and stubborn spirit. I had been on survival mode for so many years that it was extremely difficult to "turn it off" and rely on my husband's authority after we were married.

I always wondered where she'd found the time to get so self-sufficient, seeing as how she would've been in her early twenties when they got married.