Over-schedulers know what they're doing

[MamaJunebug]

Erika Shupe, Steve & Teri Maxwell -- they all know *just* what they're doing by rigidly scheduling their children's lives.

From one of those "ur doin it rong" lists, this time from thestir.cafemom,

"Ways you're making your kid completely helpless"--

Super Schedule

When their whole lives are laid out in tightly-packed schedule from a young age, children will grow up with a harder time self-directing and being independent, according to a study from University of Colorado, Boulder. The researchers looked at 6-year-olds, and they found having free time actually enabled kids to develop "broader life skills" than their peers.

The other "ways" sum up as helicopter parenting and overprotectiveness.

Here's the link, broken out of habit.

thestir.cafemom.com/big_kid/186191/12_ways_youre_making_your?utm_medium=sm&utm_source=facebook&utm_content=natural_fanpage&dmpg=f

YMMV and probably good if it does. Some vets leave the military service with a new appreciation of structuring their lives. Others are lost *without* the schedule set and enforced by the CO (commanding officer). IMHO when you stick a child with an immutable schedule from little on up and combine it with outsize emphasis on modesty (for girls) and avoiding normal sexual responses at all costs (boys...and girls), it's a perfect setup for underachievement and failure to thrive.

[sparkles]

I don't think any of these fundie over-schedulers care on whit if their children are successful, at least success as it's normally defined. Success in fundie terms seems to be measured by blind and immediate obedience, lack of curiosity and ambition, and suppressed emotions. The girls in particular will grow up and go from one rigidly controlled environment to another, popping out child after child. The men will probably be self-employed in low-level jobs that provide a meager income but none of that matters as long as they're GODLY. So by fundie standards, their over scheduling is probably producing exactly the type of kids-to-adults that they intended. Life skills? Bah.

[MamaJunebug]

Well said, sparkles.

[Jana814]

Well said, sparkles.

Agree well said!!

[mango_fandango]

It's not just the over-scheduling that does this. It's also a complete lack of exposure to people outside their immediate family/church. People are all interested in the Josiah/Marjorie courtship because she OMG wears SKINNY JEANS, but she was/is also homeschooled.

[SassyPants]

I don't think any of these fundie over-schedulers care on whit if their children are successful, at least success as it's normally defined. Success in fundie terms seems to be measured by blind and immediate obedience, lack of curiosity and ambition, and suppressed emotions. The girls in particular will grow up and go from one rigidly controlled environment to another, popping out child after child. The men will probably be self-employed in low-level jobs that provide a meager income but none of that matters as long as they're GODLY. So by fundie standards, their over scheduling is probably producing exactly the type of kids-to-adults that they intended. Life skills? Bah.

And they didn't think it all the way through to the end or use any common sense. If they intend to spread the word of God and grow their numbers, they will have to be less insular and more social. They would need to be able to reach out and draw in, beyond themselves and family. Without growth and the dollars being brought in, all these groups die.

Plus is no one is educated, they have to interface with outsiders-

[Brittany15]

I don't think scheduling is a bad thing- especially if you are homeschooling multiple kids. In order to ensure you have enough time to complete all school work with all kids a schedule may be necessary. I would be totally in favor of a homeschool schedule that involved mapping out daytime school hours so that each kid knew what to work on when and had enough one on one teacher time for subjects they needed it. If I homeschooled my kids (which I don't) I would consider putting together a Maxwell type schedule from say the hours of 8 until we finished school. (Although I would use excel instead of paying the Maxwells an insane amount of money for their schedule software.) However, I just don't understand how these people schedule every waking second of their kids lives- even in the summer! These kids never have to decide for themselves what to do and never get any free time. The Shupe kids never even get to pick what room they need to be in at any given moment.

[alba]

I don't think scheduling is a bad thing- especially if you are homeschooling multiple kids. In order to ensure you have enough time to complete all school work with all kids a schedule may be necessary. I would be totally in favor of a homeschool schedule that involved mapping out daytime school hours so that each kid knew what to work on when and had enough one on one teacher time for subjects they needed it. If I homeschooled my kids (which I don't) I would consider putting together a Maxwell type schedule from say the hours of 8 until we finished school. (Although I would use excel instead of paying the Maxwells an insane amount of money for their schedule software.) However, I just don't understand how these people schedule every waking second of their kids lives- even in the summer! These kids never have to decide for themselves what to do and never get any free time. The Shupe kids never even get to pick what room they need to be in at any given moment.

Yeah, there's a difference between scheduling seven or eight hours a day for school/meals/extracurriculars and this:

titus2.com/downloads/maxwell-schedules.html

[feministxtian]

When I was homeschooling...we had a schedule...sort of. We had time blocked out for meals, school, playtime, sports, chores, bath and bed. But, I'm talking like 8am - breakfast. 8:30-1pm school, stuff like that, not down to 15 minute increments. It helped me keep track of who had what going on on what day, and gave the kids an idea of what their day would look like. For one child, who didn't deal with transitions easily (one of the reasons I was homeschooling), I had a more in-depth schedule and a kitchen timer so he could prepare himself for the transitions. So for him, it would have been broken down a little bit more, and the kitchen timer would be set for 5 minutes so he could prepare for the transition from let's say reading to math to spelling to whatever. I also used it for him for getting ready to go to baseball practice or wrestling practice...like "Ok J, we have to leave the house in 15 minutes to get you to practice", and I'd set the timer for him.

That rigid scheduling wouldn't have worked though, for them or ME.

[mango_fandango]

When I was homeschooling...we had a schedule...sort of. We had time blocked out for meals, school, playtime, sports, chores, bath and bed. But, I'm talking like 8am - breakfast. 8:30-1pm school, stuff like that, not down to 15 minute increments. It helped me keep track of who had what going on on what day, and gave the kids an idea of what their day would look like. For one child, who didn't deal with transitions easily (one of the reasons I was homeschooling), I had a more in-depth schedule and a kitchen timer so he could prepare himself for the transitions. So for him, it would have been broken down a little bit more, and the kitchen timer would be set for 5 minutes so he could prepare for the transition from let's say reading to math to spelling to whatever. I also used it for him for getting ready to go to baseball practice or wrestling practice...like "Ok J, we have to leave the house in 15 minutes to get you to practice", and I'd set the timer for him.

That rigid scheduling wouldn't have worked though, for them or ME.

For school I kind of get scheduling in half-hour blocks, so that you can ensure your kid doesn't spend too much time on one subject etc, but for the rest of the day- nope. During the day at school I had a timetable, obviously, but I didn't have the rest of the day blocked out. And I've done fine- as have many other FJers. I get that routine is good, but I also survive fine during summer when I basically do nothing all day. That rigid scheduling is going to leave the girls (especially) so confused when they're married and their husbands are working outside the home- what would they do all day? I think much of the reason Jill Dillard kept hanging out with her siblings even after she was married was because she was so unused to the quiet. And it's probably useful that they get pregnant so quickly, and don't do birth control- there's always someone to look after/schedule. If, say, Erika Shupe had stopped after her first two (aged 16 and 15), she wouldn't be doing much with her day, seeing as how her daughters basically self-educate. As her youngest kids are 6, 5, 4 and 4, she can be teaching them preschool/kindergarten stuff whilst the oldest two teach themselves.

[feministxtian]

For school I kind of get scheduling in half-hour blocks, so that you can ensure your kid doesn't spend too much time on one subject etc, but for the rest of the day- nope. During the day at school I had a timetable, obviously, but I didn't have the rest of the day blocked out. And I've done fine- as have many other FJers. I get that routine is good, but I also survive fine during summer when I basically do nothing all day. That rigid scheduling is going to leave the girls (especially) so confused when they're married and their husbands are working outside the home- what would they do all day? I think much of the reason Jill Dillard kept hanging out with her siblings even after she was married was because she was so unused to the quiet. And it's probably useful that they get pregnant so quickly, and don't do birth control- there's always someone to look after/schedule. If, say, Erika Shupe had stopped after her first two (aged 16 and 15), she wouldn't be doing much with her day, seeing as how her daughters basically self-educate. As her youngest kids are 6, 5, 4 and 4, she can be teaching them preschool/kindergarten stuff whilst the oldest two teach themselves.

Scheduling helped a couple of my kids...the one who had problems with transitions and the one who had some learning differences...this way they knew what was coming up...AND...with 5 kids going in 5 different directions, my "schedule" was a lifesaver! We had baseball, wrestling, religious ed, dance, gymnastics, mommy's stuff, and my then-husband worked a rotating schedule...we didn't really schedule during summer, except for sports stuff and the kids who needed to keep up with academic stuff. We'd do maybe an hour of review stuff during summer...HOWEVER...I was NOT as anal as good old Erika...and there were days when the X was working a double shift that we'd toss the schedule and go have a fun day.