Fundies and nurseries

[Melissa1977]

(*excuse me for my English grammar)

I'm thinking about young fundies who are supposedly quiverful, as Erin or Alyssa. They are setting that beutiful nurseries for their first baby, but it's like they're not realising that in their world, in a few years that bedrooms will be full of bunk beds.

I mean, you want to have 10 kids, ok. So, why do you paint a bedroom in pink and put a giant girl name in the wall? What about if she's now having 5 boys? Or Erin, she has only 2 bedrooms at home, and she has set the room for just one boy (even with a big-boy bed, not bunk beds).

Don't get me wrong, I set up nice nurseries for my children. But I didn't plan to have a lot of them.

Anna Duggar never set up a nursery, she had both Mack and Mike in the parents bedroom, and then they move to their own bedroom (a neutral one). I think she was really thinking about having a lot of children. But Erin or Alyssa are not really organising a quiver, they are happy mothers enjoying a newborn and enjoying fancy things they hadn't in their childhood.

[Milly-Molly-Mandy]

Ohh good point. Nothing to add but great topic

[uber frau]

I'm not ever been one for nurseries. With the first kid,we had absolutely no money and were living in a tiny,one bedroom flat. With subsequent kids,we realised that it was a complete waste of time and energy for the way we parent and there other things to do with the cash.

I think of nurseries as being more about women celebrating their motherhood as much as anything. They're a bit like weddings: we all know that in a few years, the couple will probably find the whole thing old hat, but the community celebrates anyway.

They're both milestones,in a way.

[Eternalbluepearl]

Well, in the case of the nursery being set up as a girl room, it's ok, should the fundie family have a boy down the road, he will get put in the girl's room anyway to be raised by the sister Moms. This topic makes a great point.

[Jana814]

Ohh good point. Nothing to add but great topic

Agree!!

[Jana814]

I think of nurseries as being more about women celebrating their motherhood as much as anything. They're a bit like weddings: we all know that in a few years, the couple will probably find the whole thing old hat, but the community celebrates anyway.

They're both milestones,in a way.

Good point!!

[polecat]

I'm not ever been one for nurseries. With the first kid,we had absolutely no money and were living in a tiny,one bedroom flat. With subsequent kids,we realised that it was a complete waste of time and energy for the way we parent and there other things to do with the cash.

I think of nurseries as being more about women celebrating their motherhood as much as anything. They're a bit like weddings: we all know that in a few years, the couple will probably find the whole thing old hat, but the community celebrates anyway.

They're both milestones,in a way.

Oh, agreed!

We had a nursery for our first -- I had so much fun setting it up. But then, he never slept in it. Never ever. Rarely even went in there, lol. It was basically a pretty storage room. So the other two did NOT get nurseries. I'm actually having more fun with their rooms now because we get to fix them up according to their wants/personalities.

Anyway -- this is a great topic because it's a whole other ballgame with quiverful people.

[Four is Enough]

Add me to the "Not a Nursery Type Person" group. We had a crib and a changing table in a room, but there was also a dresser.. and the already set up bunk beds, because we had them. Neutral paint. Noah's Ark theme curtains.

[sense and nonsense]

I think it's just that they don't truly understand the consequences of having 10 kids. They still want the experiences a normal first time mom has, I guess. Their decision will only really hit them 5 kids down the line.

[NachosFlandersStyle]

Some people just love decorating, too. I'm not planning on moving any time soon but I spend a lot of time looking at real estate listings and fantasizing about paint colors in my hypothetical next house. And furniture shopping is the only kind of shopping that makes me feel like a kid in a candy store. I'm sure I'd be way, way worse if I had spent my whole life focused on my godly duty to keep a beautiful home, or if I were an unemployed newlywed trying to project the image of a perfect homemaker.

[GenerationCedarchip]

My thought was that they could be setting up a girl room and a boy room. I know of several families who do nice nurseries for the 1st girl and 1st boy and then put subsequent kids in them as well. Most of these aren't QF families, but they do have 3-5 kids.

[Coco]

And, trying to distinguish their own baby from their sister-babies.

[Cassia]

We did a full on nursery for our first but in neutral colours and an animal theme. My little guy co-slept with us for his first 8 months and then moved into the nursery where he slept from 8 months to over 2.5 years. We just put him into his new bedroom, and our second baby who is on the way will go into the nursery whenever we're comfortable with moving him/her in from our room. It worked very well for us.

We have a large house with 4 (+1) bedrooms, so if I was a fundie planning on having a whole stack of kids, I would do a nursery for the youngest, then one boys room and one girls room.

[eh02]

Since Erin's house especially is so small, I just sort of assumed it was a "starter house" and they had no plan to stay there very long, which would explain wanting to go all out on a nursery with no clear intent on making space for bunk beds or whatever. Same with Jessa Duggar. They'll probably sell or rent the small houses to their siblings as they go.

[ariel9]

I also noticed the same thing. The personalized nurseries seem like it would be a sign of a smaller family. There have been instances in their world where children have moved out and adopted their own beliefs. However they could very well have large families and just have been excited to finally have a child and do things the way they want. Maybe in the future the will have a big family and a collection of items for males and female. They could make it a family activity to decorate the nursery in accordance to the sex of the child.

As for the house size, they could move away or in Erin's case never put any project past chad.

[DGayle]

For these young women, decorating a nursery is a personal celebration of finally fulfilling the only reason for them to exist. It's sad.

[bluelady]

*replying as I'm up nursing my 6 month old*

We bought our house in February and found out we were pregnant in March. We hadn't had time to paint the second bedroom which, thankfully, had already been set up as a neutrally coloured nursery. We switched out the Winnie the Pooh border for woodland creatures (I'm not a big fan of cartoon characters for decorations) and we were set. Otherwise, I doubt we would have done much.

I belong to a mommy group and some of those couples went all out for their nurseries. I had enough trouble pulling my ass off the couch to do the dishes when I was pregnant. I can't imagine trying to do the work that went into some of those rooms.

We plan on trying for a second next year. The room is big enough for a crib and a bed, and then eventually two beds, so my hope is for them to share for as long as possible. I like the idea of continuing to use our third bedroom as a guest room for awhile.

[Jana814]

For these young women, decorating a nursery is a personal celebration of finally fulfilling the only reason for them to exist. It's sad.

Agree it is sad!!

[FoxyMoxie]

Fancy nurseries are alllll over pinterest, I have a feeling that was an influence. I know pinterest is popular generally, but it is HUGE amongst fundie/conservative Christian women. I guess it's a way to show off how much of a Godly Young Lady you are....