Do Women Control All the Sex?

[TrueRebel1]

New post from Mrs. Empowered Traditionalist -- it almost sounds like a slightly nicer version of Lori!

empoweredtraditionalist.com/2014/04/08/do-women-control-all-the-sex/

[Hane]

Baloney. Being able to "control all the sex," Mrs. Empowered Traditionalist, hinges on a guy deigning to grant you his attention. Not all of us women are "worthy" of this.

[polecat]

Sure. I control all the sex when it comes to MY body. And my husband controls all the sex when it comes to HIS body. We have made it work so far (going on 16 years together). And I wouldn't want it any other way.

[ILoveJellybeans]

Nobody controls all the sex. Fundies would love to though.

The only sex people control is the sex they are having, and even then, unless you are having sex with yourself, there is someone else controlling it too, as everyone has control over their own body and the power to say yes or no to everything sexual they do.

[salex]

They need to read a few marriage forums... there are about as many wives in upset that their husbands never have sex with them as there are men in upset about their wives.

But if women don't control all the sex-- well, how can we blame women for all the unwed pregnancies and all the abortions... we can't start blaming men for that, now can we.

The last thing I plan to do is start taking advice on sex from a 24 year old self styled fashionista.

[keen23]

I wish I could control all the sex. But, I don't.

[mypsychoticself]

New post from Mrs. Empowered Traditionalist -- it almost sounds like a slightly nicer version of Lori!

empoweredtraditionalist.com/2014/04/08/do-women-control-all-the-sex/

It sounds like an MRA, really, not that there's much of a difference.

[Firiel]

I once read a good book (as in, written by a well-respected, credentialed therapist) about sex issues in long-term relationships. The author wrote that, except for in cases of marital rape/abuse, the partner with the lower desire ultimately controlled the frequency of sex.

However, he also stated that the partner with the lower desire was just as likely to be male as female and that controlling the frequency of sex was not usually a desired position of power and came with as much heartache as being the higher desire partner.

So, you know, a thoughtful, nuanced approach to the difficulty of a sex-drive disparity in a relationship.

[Koala]

Sure. I control all the sex when it comes to MY body. And my husband controls all the sex when it comes to HIS body. We have made it work so far (going on 16 years together). And I wouldn't want it any other way.

See, look at all the typing you saved me! :agree:

[kpmom]

I've never read this blog before.

She states she's not all that conservative, but then goes right on to say she believes women are happiest when they are reveling in their role as a complement and balance to a man. Uh, ok

The poster above who said she comes across as a slightly nicer Lori, ITA.

[AllisonWndrland]

I get so intensely fucking tired of these bloggers writing articles telling women they don't get to control their own bodies or decide when sex is right for them. The miscarriage example in her list of ways women control sex ways women choose to control their own bodies makes me ragey. The last damn thing I wanted to do after my multiple miscarriages was have sex. I totally agree with the poster who said it reads like an MRA. You want to be an Empowered Traditionalist? FINE. Just STFU about women controlling their own bodies and go read an actual book or four about relationships, sex drive, hormones, psychology, the human body, and the link between all of those. The Bible doesn't count.

[Pam]

Baloney. Being able to "control all the sex," Mrs. Empowered Traditionalist, hinges on a guy deigning to grant you his attention. Not all of us women are "worthy" of this.

It sounds like an MRA, really, not that there's much of a difference.

My thoughts exactly! "Women control all the sex :crying-yellow: :crying-green: " is one of the top five whinges of the "Hotties ONLY! No FAT chicks allowed!!" MRA

[usmcmom]

I get so intensely fucking tired of these bloggers writing articles telling women they don't get to control their own bodies or decide when sex is right for them. The miscarriage example in her list of ways women control sex ways women choose to control their own bodies makes me ragey. The last damn thing I wanted to do after my multiple miscarriages was have sex. I totally agree with the poster who said it reads like an MRA. You want to be an Empowered Traditionalist? FINE. Just STFU about women controlling their own bodies and go read an actual book or four about relationships, sex drive, hormones, psychology, the human body, and the link between all of those. The Bible doesn't count.

The miscarriage example also made me furious. It was exceptionally snide and showed an extreme lack of compassion. Typical.

[slh12280]

I guess I could get sex I wanted it if I was willing to lower my standards severely. I don't get much attention from men I would find desirable, if at all, so I guess I don't control all the sex. But I guess in their world that would be controlling all the sex since I can reject men. But can't men reject women too? Couldn't they just lower their standards? I hate this garbage when men say it. Oh, so you're a woman, it must be so much easier for you. Whatever.

[Koala]

The miscarriage example also made me furious. It was exceptionally snide and showed an extreme lack of compassion. Typical.

I agree. I did okay with my second miscarriage, but with my first I was a mess. I would wake up at night and cry and my husband would lay there and cry with me. No one was worrying about when to resume sex.

[Toothfairy]

It's my vagina, which is attached to my body.

[lawfulevil]

Only when those women are orgiophants?

[latraviata]

It's my vagina, which is attached to my body.

Sewn, glued or screwed??

[lawfulevil]

Sewn, glued or screwed??

D. Duct Taped

E. All of the Above

[galaxy]

Definitely MRA-adjacent at least. "Women control all the world's sex, wah wah wahhh" is a common refrain amongst the MRA's.

[sea_gale]

Anecdotally: me and my bloke have been together 9.5 years. There have been times when I've had the higher sex drive, and times when he has. It's caused minor problems, but not huge ones as masturbation exists. The biggest issue was when I was much younger and had been programmed to believe that a man saying no to sex meant that the offerer was irredeemably hideous, not that the man was busy/tired/whatever.

[RosyDaisy]

If these MRAs aren't getting any, it's their own damn fault. They don't respect women or know how to treat them.