tie a yellow ribbon

[actuallyjessica]

while browsing youtube, i came across this video that is about families who were separated due to members leaving the church, thus, being shunned by the remaining family still in the church.

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really makes you stop and think about why jinger and all those other fundies won't break free... a huge part of it is that they're so worried they too will be cut off from their fundy families.

[doggie]

yes the diggers know what they are doing the pressure and guilt are incredible.

[salex]

I didn't drink in front of my parents until they were with my husband and me in Europe (actually, in a wine bar in Paris) because I'd been raised a teetotaler. THey knew we had a wine collection, had bought a home that had room to add a wine room/cellar, etc... but I was not comfortable flaunting my disregard for their teachings even then.

[polecat]

My father disowned and completely disinherited me. He occasionally sends my children birthday cards but has no other contact with them or me. Thankfully, I had a job that paid a living wage, so while it was sad and scary and lonely, I still made it out ok. Intact.

When you're young, poorly educated (or sent to an unaccredited Bible college) and fed scary stories about "the world" your whole life, it can be dreadfully hard to break free even if you desperately want to. It becomes exponentially harder when you know your family will cut you off entirely. And since many of these people have alienated their own extended families, kids often don't realize that they DO have options. They just don't know where to turn or how to get out.

Is there a movement or organization to help kids (and by kids, I do not mean children but young adults) get out? I'm not aware of any if there is.

[sparkles]

Everytime I hear a Steve Maxwell type say, "but it's their choice to (fill in the fundie blank)! I always wonder what the cost of leaving or challenging one's upbringing would be. If it means being shunned by everyone and everything you've ever known, it would really take an almost superhuman strength of will to accept those consequences and move forward totally alone and with no support system. Some choice.

[salex]

Everytime I hear a Steve Maxwell type say, "but it's their choice to (fill in the fundie blank)! I always wonder what the cost of leaving or challenging one's upbringing would be. If it means being shunned by everyone and everything you've ever known, it would really take an almost superhuman strength of will to accept those consequences and move forward totally alone and with no support system. Some choice.

Yes, my parents didn't shun us or even get that upset (and they are not even full on fundie or fundie light, compared to those we read about) but the no drinking was a big deal to them..... so I felt guilt about not sticking to that for years. I can't imagine what it would take for Sara Maxwell to order a glass of wine at Applebees while her parents looked on!

[RosyDaisy]

Wow! My family must be a fluke. Our familial love is unconditional.

[polecat]

Wow! My family must be a fluke. Our familial love is unconditional.

I'd say your family is exactly what a family should be. I can't imagine my children doing anything that would make me shut them out of my life entirely. There are certainly things they could do to disappoint me (criminal activity), but there is nothing that would ever make me stop loving them.

[julie paradox]

I'd say your family is exactly what a family should be. I can't imagine my children doing anything that would make me shut them out of my life entirely. There are certainly things they could do to disappoint me (criminal activity), but there is nothing that would ever make me stop loving them.

It's possibly the same thing making them join these groups in the first place that makes them shun the disappointments. Black-and-white, all-or-nothing thinking?

[Black Aliss]

Wow! My family must be a fluke. Our familial love is unconditional.

As is mine. My mother's love, on the other hand, was entirely conditional.

[Snarknado]

My family is evangelical not so much fundie but my mom's love is pretty conditional. :( Evangelicals also take it pretty hard when someone starts thinking for themself. My mom and I barely have any relationship and we were close friends when I was believing and living exactly as she thought I should.