A fundie's response to tragedy

[luckylibrarian]

A friend of mine was at the Sugarland concert in Indiana when the stage collapsed. Luckily, she wasn't injured or killed, but she did see a man get crushed. She posted on FB to let everyone know that she was safe and just how horrible the experience was. She was very devastated. Almost all of the comments were along the lines of "I'm so glad you are safe! I'm praying for the injured!" - things like that. Then, there was the one woman who responded like only a fundie could. She commented: "Just goes to show that you need to be right with God!"

What. the. fuck. No "I'm glad you are safe" or even "You are in my prayers." Her response to my friend's trauma was a religious lecture, as if the whole tragedy should be viewed as a reminder that we all need to repent and "be right with God" (whatever that means.) Never mind that my friend is Jewish and doesn't share the focus on sin and Hell.

Anyway, that response got me thinking about how unsympathetic fundies are when it comes to tragedy. Kelly Crawford comes to mind. There is no sympathy for the people who were killed or injured. No, all that matters is that the fundie gets a chance to climb up on the soapbox and lecture. If they can benefit monetarily (ahem: Kelly) then so much the better.

For people who claim to be Christians and are so intent on living a Christian life that honors Jesus, their responses to tragedy are completely un-Christian. I shouldn't be surprised that they don't see the disconnect between the compassion that Jesus showed and their own lack of compassion towards anyone who is suffering. What causes this lack of compassion? Is it the feeling of superiority? Or are they filled with so much hate for the world that they can't show sympathy for anyone who doesn't pass their strict moral test?

[liltwinstar]

I think it's just their way of closing themselves off from tragedy/pain. For me, the world was an *easier* place when I thought there was a plan/reason for everything, and when I thought that there was an afterlife. It's almost as if I didn't *believe* in death, you know? Because there was the resurrection, after all, so death isn't really death...it's just a temporary separation. There is some comfort in that thought, of course. But it only hit me a few years ago that when people die they aren't here any more -you can't call them, you can't see them, you can't talk to them. I had literally never considered that before. I had thought of death like a trip someone was on, and when you die, you meet up with them, no big deal. So I wasn't very compassionate, because if people had done things "right" then death isn't a big deal. It's just a temporary thing.

Anyway, I'm glad your friend was ok, but how horrible for her to have to witness that!!! Such a sad situation :(

[ElphabaGalinda]

I think it's that if a tragedy happens to them, it's God testing their faith, and if it happens to someone else, even if it's the exact same thing, it's God punishing the sinners. If you think like that, it'd be hard to be compassionate.

I'm glad your friend's ok! And I'm glad she got mostly positive responses and just one wtf response. Witnessing something like that, no one needs religious judgement, or holier than thou attitude of any kind.

[lilwriter85]

I'm glad your friend is ok. That reply from the fundie was crappy.

[marmalade]

Both of my parents were "right with God" yet died after recurring bouts with cancer. My atheist BIL has battled different forms of cancer for 25 years and is still alive and kickin'.

Figure THAT one out, fundies.

[maybeizfundie]

Then, there was the one woman who responded like only a fundie could. She commented: "Just goes to show that you need to be right with God!"

Erk. That's just ugly. :(

[Buzzard]

"Righteous" Christian dies in tornado = God called him home

Ebil Geyz die in {insert tragedy} = God is punishing them

Friend of "righteous" christian survives = God is warning them to get "right"

Ebil liberal and minister die in same accident = ???

[mythoughtis]

I'm not a fundie, but I think they didn't mean anything mean by it.... I think what they meant was that no one knows when they are going to die, hence no one should wait to repent until it is too late. You have to remember, Christians (not just fundies) think that you have to repent before you die in order to go to heaven.... and that not going to heaven when you die is worse than dying.

This is why some churches baptize babies.

[Lainey]

I agree that response was ugly. I've noticed that lack of compassion, too.

Many years ago now, a little 4-year-old girl was abducted from a city not too far from here, and murdered. It was found out that she was abducted by a family "friend," who was a pedophile. Before they found her, there were a lot of people out searching, and I commented to my fundie-lite friend how upset I was about it, and how if I lived closer, I'd be out searching, too. She said something flippant, and I asked her, "Doesn't it bother you?" and she said, "No, I didn't know her. If I knew her, it would be different." What. :shock:

[defrauding]

I'm not a fundie, but I think they didn't mean anything mean by it.... I think what they meant was that no one knows when they are going to die, hence no one should wait to repent until it is too late. You have to remember, Christians (not just fundies) think that you have to repent before you die in order to go to heaven.... and that not going to heaven when you die is worse than dying.

It's still a horrible thing to say to someone who just witnessed a tragic event.

[PennySycamore]

I'm not a fundie, but I think they didn't mean anything mean by it.... I think what they meant was that no one knows when they are going to die, hence no one should wait to repent until it is too late. You have to remember, Christians (not just fundies) think that you have to repent before you die in order to go to heaven.... and that not going to heaven when you die is worse than dying.

This is why some churches baptize babies.

Ugh.... That's just not a compassionate -or heck, even human- response to tragedy. Frankly crap like that turns off way more people than it "saves".

I got an email from my sister yesterday about how you'd better get right with god since you never know when you're going to die. It was a forward that she sent to several people including my cousin and his wife and me. Guess she thinks we need to get saved. That email went straight into my delete box pretty much unread once I knew what it was.

No wonder our mom's funeral in May was such a horror. The funeral was held at my sister's Southern Baptist church. Now, Mama had gone there to church some in the last year of her life when she was in a nursing home, but it's not like she had a real choice. It's not like she could have driven herself to services in her little Methodist church that she loved so dearly. Anyway, this preacher (who really didn't know our mom) preached not a eulogy but a "get right with god" sermon that was just offensive. One of my sisters-in-law is Jewish and my mom has three wonderful Jewish grandchildren. My mom and dad never thought that my sister-in-law or my nephews or niece needed to become Christians. I was sitting behind my brother and sister-in-law and in front of my mother's younger sister. My s-i-l was not upset although the service was not to her liking as she's gotten used to the way my sister is. My aunt, though, shared my dismay. My mom would have HATED that funeral. She may have been a Christian, but she was not a bible-banger. She would never have wanted a service that might make anyone uncomfortable. She was, above everything else, a kind person.

[Kitty]

I can't stand people like that. It's always about them. It's not actually about God or Jesus or whatever. It's all them and that's all that matters.

[treemom]

I went to high school in Mishawaka, indiana so my friend's list on fb from high school has been a lot of the I was praying for you. And normal god stuff.

Because clearly those dead people didn't have enough prayers

[sugaree]

If I look at that comment charitably, I think she may have meant something like you should get right with God now, because you may get hit by a bus tomorrow, you might not have much time left to figure it all out. Still a crappy thing to say under the circumstances, but she may not have been saying anything about the victims here.

[nolongerIFBx]

I'm not a fundie, but I think they didn't mean anything mean by it.... I think what they meant was that no one knows when they are going to die, hence no one should wait to repent until it is too late. You have to remember, Christians (not just fundies) think that you have to repent before you die in order to go to heaven.... and that not going to heaven when you die is worse than dying.

This is why some churches baptize babies.

As a fundie, I'd agree. I think what she was saying was that since we never know when we'll die, it is important to be at peace with God all the time. Now, if she had said "get right with God" that would be more along the lines of what people are thinking, but "be right with God" has a different meaning.While it may have been inappropriate, I don't think the comment was intended to be mean.

Just my two cents!

[Nothing2CHere]

It may not have been written with mean intent, but I do agree that it was still inappropriate. We had something in this similar vein happen on a friend's facebook wall - her mentor from one of her first jobs had passed away, and she posted about how upset she was by this loss. Most of us posted comments offering our condolences. Another friend posted, "Bleck." When the friend who posted that was called out on it, she defended herself by saying how her intent was that it sucked for our mutual friend that this person had died, and she basically didn't want to write another, "I'm so sorry for your loss" comments. Even with the explanation, our mutual friend was still upset by the inferred callousness of the "bleck" comment.

The take-away: When in doubt, just write another "I'm so sorry for your loss" comment; at times like that, there's no need to try to stand out from the crowd.

[GolightlyGrrl]

A friend of mine was at the Sugarland concert in Indiana when the stage collapsed. Luckily, she wasn't injured or killed, but she did see a man get crushed. She posted on FB to let everyone know that she was safe and just how horrible the experience was. She was very devastated. Almost all of the comments were along the lines of "I'm so glad you are safe! I'm praying for the injured!" - things like that. Then, there was the one woman who responded like only a fundie could. She commented: "Just goes to show that you need to be right with God!"

What. the. fuck. No "I'm glad you are safe" or even "You are in my prayers." Her response to my friend's trauma was a religious lecture, as if the whole tragedy should be viewed as a reminder that we all need to repent and "be right with God" (whatever that means.) Never mind that my friend is Jewish and doesn't share the focus on sin and Hell.

Anyway, that response got me thinking about how unsympathetic fundies are when it comes to tragedy. Kelly Crawford comes to mind. There is no sympathy for the people who were killed or injured. No, all that matters is that the fundie gets a chance to climb up on the soapbox and lecture. If they can benefit monetarily (ahem: Kelly) then so much the better.

For people who claim to be Christians and are so intent on living a Christian life that honors Jesus, their responses to tragedy are completely un-Christian. I shouldn't be surprised that they don't see the disconnect between the compassion that Jesus showed and their own lack of compassion towards anyone who is suffering. What causes this lack of compassion? Is it the feeling of superiority? Or are they filled with so much hate for the world that they can't show sympathy for anyone who doesn't pass their strict moral test?

I'm glad your friend is doing well. I can't even fathom what it must be like to witness and escape such a tragedy. I'm horrified by the footage I see on the news.

Your friend's fundie friend may have meant well, but I still thought the comment was uncalled for. Still, fundies are not exactly known for their tact, now are they?

As I mentioned plenty of times before, if there are any themes running through the fundie mindset and their blogs it is these-thoughtlessness, arrogance and a total lack of empathy for others.

[Rosa]

To be fair, if they were tactful they'd have said something innocuous, and you wouldn't know they were fundies.

I'm sure there are lots of kind, tactful fundamentalists - they just act just like the kind, tactful regular people instead of hitting you over the head with their fundyness.

[daisyjane1234]

A response to tragedy was what started my move to ultra- liberal Christianity. While I was never a fundy I certainly associated with a more conservative church and then my child was born. He suffered catastrophic brain damage (as a result of a physician's error) and he lives today with severe disabilities and medical issues. Indeed, I just spent the day at the hospital and he scheduled to go back thurs to have his feeding tube changed.

I could tell so many stories about fundies trying to say something "helpful" that simply bordered on offensive. Like the day someone told me my son's condition was an example of the devil's presence on earth (WTF!) or the day a family member said that my child's condition was a result of a physician's great sin (great, he goes off to his vacation home while I live year in and out in a sleep deprived haze trying to keep a medically fragile child alive!).

I found it interesting to watch the Duggar journey with Josie. I am glad she seems okay, but it would have been interesting to see a fundy make sense of a very serious tragedy.

[Buzzard]

To be fair, if they were tactful they'd have said something innocuous, and you wouldn't know they were fundies.

I'm sure there are lots of kind, tactful fundamentalists - they just act just like the kind, tactful regular people instead of hitting you over the head with their fundyness.

Tact = something learned from interacting with others and is therefore an impossible concept for those that isolate themselves and their children.

[mythoughtis]

My aunts funeral was similar to the funeral mentioned above.... and it was officiated by a relative of the deceased.... I could not believe it, I'd never heard a sermon preached at a funeral before.... and yes, he was Southern Baptist.

[SquirrelySquirrel]

My aunts funeral was similar to the funeral mentioned above.... and it was officiated by a relative of the deceased.... I could not believe it, I'd never heard a sermon preached at a funeral before.... and yes, he was Southern Baptist.

My husband's wackadoodle step-grandma attended a very conservative Baptist church and her funeral was nothing but fire and brimstone from the preacher, including -I kid you not- a bit about the evils of sex outside of marriage. It was by far the strangest funeral I've ever attended.

I had some friends at that concert too, but thankfully none of them were anywhere near that collapse. I'm happy your friend is okay, luckylibrian!

[GolightlyGrrl]

Tact = something learned from interacting with others and is therefore an impossible concept for those that isolate themselves and their children.

This!

[DamnPrecious]

My niece's student teacher from last year was one the people killed at the concert. So I've seen a lot of those prayer chains going around.