Fundies and Masturbation

[ophelia]

When I was reading in the "you know you are a fundie when,..." thread I read the comment, that you cannot take a shower on your own because of the danger that you might masturbate and it really came as a question to my mind: how do fundies like the Duggars, Bateses, Bradricks, etc. handle that thing? Is a boy in the age of John David allowed to be a alone or is the danger too high that he might have some unpure thoughts under the shower? Or are these poor young guys (and women of course!!!!) so brainwashed that they wouldn't even think about it???

[Guest Anonymous]

We had a pretty long topic about this recently ... found it!

viewtopic.php?f=8&t=659

[ophelia]

Thank you! Missed it completely! Sorry for the double post.

[Guest Anonymous]

No worries at all, it's a fast moving board. :P

[joe_mulcahy]

Well, as I raised in an Areligious(not Athiest, but Areligious in that whilst my parents were from Catholic backgrounds, they did not impose anything remotely religious on me, not even allowing me to accept invitations with friends to Temples, Mosques or Churches until I was 12 and could make objective choices about anything religious) household, I cannot speak from any direct experience on fundies.

However, I've been reading blogs as well as pages dedicated to their lifestyle for a few years, as the Duggar's Programme made me interested in the subject. From what I've been able to deduce, since masturbation is often accompanied by impure thoughts, the practice is discouraged. There was a discussion about the suspicious device in the Duggar boys' room which resembles a security camera you'd see in shops to prevent shoplifting. Whilst some felt it was simply a part of the home security system, I felt its function could possibly to be to discourage masturbation. The fact that teenaged and adult boys are forced to share a single room with all their younger brothers would also certainly discourage self play.

If you've read Razing Ruth's blog, you'd hear how everyone had to shower with a chaperone nearby, no doubt that stopped anyone from any self exploration.

On the 7X Sunday forum, there was a whole thread about preventing masturbation, like being careful of toys that vibrate, dressing little boys in overalls.

Even Michael Pearl's daughter spoke on how all their bedroom doors faced the direction of the living room were Michael Pearl (no doubt with his plumbing supply line in hand) would barge into their rooms if they took a moment too long to change their clothes.

Thinking on how enamoured some fundies seem to be with the Victoria Era, and how parents would often tie their teenage son's hands to the bedposts at night (to prevent "self-pollution"), and would sometimes even whip sons for nocturnal emissions, calling it a "sin of the flesh," I would not be at all surprised if that attitude toward masturbation carried over as well.

Here is a video on Christine O'Donnell's 90s campaign against masturbation.

Note the emphasis on "purity" yet again. Hope this helps.

[longskirtlotsakids]

I still don;t get why an orgasm is evil. It's a natural bodly function.

But you know, farting when you have bad gas is a relief and feels good too. Do they have a biblical scripture reference on farting yet?

[ophelia]

Thanks for posting the video. It's really crazy. I mean this people "train" their children 24/7 and still have no confidence at all in them.. and its even more ironic when you think about the foundation of Quiverfull - it's to have children and it's sex that leads to children and still sex is the worst thing on the world. I guess I'll never get that!

[gardenvarietycitizen]

There have been some threads about masturbation on imamother recently. It's Jewish fundamentalism as opposed to Christian, but the attitudes about masturbation can be similar (all starting from the same "it's a sin" place). Discussion was interesting - while some posters (more modern) took the pragmatic view that it's going to happen, if you don't purposely wank it will come out in a dream, etc, others (the extreme of the extreme even for that website, and the more mystically-inclined) insisted that no, actually in their more religious communities, kids are taught fear of god early on and so they honestly don't masturbate or have wet dreams. Me, I'm not buying it. Heck, hordes of posters on that very website weren't buying it either!

That SAID, there was mention of the shower in some threads, and apparently among some of the most strict groups, boys of a certain age don't shower at home, they only take group showers at the ritual bathhouse or at school, and there are no doors - the idea is apparently that group pressure will keep them in line. Yet others pointed out that this can... backfire, on occasion. Interesting discussion, anyway.

[Olivia]

My experience growing up fundie-lite was that it was OK, as long as it doesn't become an idol in your life, but it was a little yucky and borderline in terms of behavior. I genuinely didn't want to do it, though, until I was older and out of fundamentalism. I didn't think it was a sin, per se, but I'd pretty well internalized the shamefulness of it.

I read a 7x Sunday post about masturbation and one woman mentioned spanking her son for being disobedient and playing with himself. Not only is that gross and cruel, IMO, but way to set your son on the path to being a spanko, associating sexual release with pain and humiliation. No common sense whatsoever...

[masagoroll]

I still don;t get why an orgasm is evil. It's a natural bodly function.

But you know, farting when you have bad gas is a relief and feels good too. Do they have a biblical scripture reference on farting yet?

I burped right when I read this post. It was probably sinful.

[QueenMother]

When I was reading in the "you know you are a fundie when,..." thread I read the comment, that you cannot take a shower on your own because of the danger that you might masturbate and it really came as a question to my mind: how do fundies like the Duggars, Bateses, Bradricks, etc. handle that thing? Is a boy in the age of John David allowed to be a alone or is the danger too high that he might have some unpure thoughts under the shower? Or are these poor young guys (and women of course!!!!) so brainwashed that they wouldn't even think about it???

I have been curious as to how the Maxwell's discuss the issue of wet dreams with the boys, and the doing the laundry and removing the sheets from the beds with evidence of the action having taken place. Certainly they must talk to each other about the stains they find and the best way to remove the stains. I would love to be a fly on the wall.

[Olive Plant]

This is related, but possibly a topic for another thread. I've been wondering about the effect delaying even masturbation has... I ask because two of the guys I've slept with grew up fundie-lite where masturbation was discouraged. One didn't do it until he was 23, another until he was 20. They were both, hands-down, the two worst I've ever had, despite the fact that they'd slept with multiple women before me. This sort of goes against the fundie idea (which I've heard actually articulated several times) that if you masturbate, you're training your body for your own hand rather than training it for sex. However, I think it's a lot like with girls who don't know their own bodies... if you don't have a habit of figuring out what feels good for you, how in the world are you going to be a decent lover? And, at the same time, if you're not comfortable with your own sexuality?

I'm curious if any of you can add anecdotal evidence. This could just be a coincidence.

On a related note: something I've frequently heard fundie (or fundie-lite) men whine about is that their wives don't want sex, and I have a feeling that this is partly because the men are terrible in bed. With a good sex partner, I want it all the time. ALL the time. But with a bad one, I'd really rather not. Neither of the guys I'd previously mentioned had extensive experience with the women they'd been with before me, and said it was because the women didn't want to have sex with them that often... which I thought was weird until I tried it myself. Sex is incredibly important, and if it's bad, it leads to resentment, fighting, etc etc (and yes, you know it's bad or good even if you've never done it before). I can't conceive of a healthy long-term relationship with bad sex.

[1004srs]

I was raised strict Catholic. It wasn't something that anyone I knew did. These kinds of topics were reserved for within the confines of marriage.

I disagree since I am an adult. I don't encourage or discourage my kids. Just don't do it in the living room.

[luckylassie]

My grandmother was fundy-lite and she thought of masturbation as something that was "don't ask don't tell". It was okay to do it but not to talk about it. Maybe the Duggar type fundies are like this but I doubt it. I guess it's seen as a natural evil that has to be avoided.

[bananacat]

I'll share something personal. I figured out masturbation all on my own, and I didn't even know what it was called when I started doing it. I knew to keep it private because I had to take my clothes off, but I'm not sure that I even connected to sex at the very beginning. Nobody had to tell me how to do it or anything like that. When I saw the word "masturbation" in a magazine when I was 12 I asked my mom what it meant and realized that that was what I had been doing for a year or two. So I wonder if some fundie kids masturbate and don't even realize that they're not supposed to do it.

[Joykins]

I'll share something personal. I figured out masturbation all on my own, and I didn't even know what it was called when I started doing it. I knew to keep it private because I had to take my clothes off, but I'm not sure that I even connected to sex at the very beginning. Nobody had to tell me how to do it or anything like that. When I saw the word "masturbation" in a magazine when I was 12 I asked my mom what it meant and realized that that was what I had been doing for a year or two. So I wonder if some fundie kids masturbate and don't even realize that they're not supposed to do it.

More or less the same here, only I'm pretty sure I used the dictionary instead of asking my mom. It was never something we actually talked about in our family, and the source of input I had on whether it was "ok" or not did not agree with each other, so I chose the authority (Dobson, in this case) who said it was OK, lol.

[Hane]

I'll share something personal. I figured out masturbation all on my own, and I didn't even know what it was called when I started doing it. I knew to keep it private because I had to take my clothes off, but I'm not sure that I even connected to sex at the very beginning. Nobody had to tell me how to do it or anything like that. When I saw the word "masturbation" in a magazine when I was 12 I asked my mom what it meant and realized that that was what I had been doing for a year or two. So I wonder if some fundie kids masturbate and don't even realize that they're not supposed to do it.

Me too--but I was 4. :oops: