WaPo article: Quiverful family living in D.C

[YPestis]

There's an interesting article in the Washington Post about a Catholic family of 11 kids living in the DC area and the dad is a high school teacher.

 

Holy cow! So this family has none of the advantage of living in some cheap, rural area AND the dad is not pulling in too much money. I'm surprised the mom is still sane.

 

The family is less kooky than the other fundie families we've seen. They send their children to Catholic school and it looks like they let their kids be fairly normal. I don't appreciate the mother saying time for self is "overrated"...especially since the article later states that mom sometimes goes outside for some "peace time"---because that's not alone time at all....

 

Anyways, just thought it was an interesting article.

[Joykins]

I can't think of these local large Catholic families without thinking of this. It happened a few years ago. You really do need to be super-organized to care for that many kids.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/co ... 00293.html

[lilwriter85]

I agree this family isn't too kooky like other fundies. I do like that their children attend Catholic school and probably have friends of their own. My cousin used to live in the Rockville area and he lives in Gaithersburg. Some of the areas around DC are bit expensive. I'm not surprised they are having trouble making ends meet.

I sort of laughed at this comment left on the article.

Kudos to them for following their faith and holding it down themselves. You people are so fickle, you criticize this family for being the size it is, yet the story doesn't allude to them being on any type of assistance or "big government" funded programs--isn't just fine that they are doing this own their own? I am sure you would criticize to the nines if they were asking for a handout, it must suck for you as a person to not be able to see the beauty and warmth the story portrays. I love the pa...See Morert where Jen says the mail never touches the table--It's just three of us and I feel like we are over run with it-way to go on that! And the two little ones holding hands in their car seats is priceless.

The family isn't taking government handouts/assistance like TANF or food stamps, but the article mentioned the family receiving donations of food, grocery cards and clothes. The family is still taking handouts from others and they aren't really any better than people on government assistance. Also in the article the wife mentioned not having a college plan because their main focus each day is buying the groceries. Someday those kids will probably be going to college on FAFSA. I don't think this family should be overpraised.

Another person in the comments section shoved to the people who defended

Don't be naive, folks. Of course they receive government assistance -- it's called "tax deductions." By the time all 11 of those hunky deductions are applied against Mr. K's teacher salary, I'm guessing this couple pays very, very little in taxes even though a family of 13 exerts a greater-than-average effect on both local and national infrastructure.

This family may be impressing people with their "doing-it-on-our-own" rhetoric, but in fact we're all paying for their decision not to practice birth control.

God will provide? I think taxpayers will be providing more. Much more.

[darkplumaged]

They bought their house 11-12 years ago, according to the article. Prices were far more reasonable in this area back then, and they were both "older"--she in her 30s, he in his 40s, so I imagine they had some savings to put down. That's how they afford their house. I don't know how they afford Catholic school and food for everyone, though...

I'm amazed that she has all those children after age 33, and in only 11 years. If she'd started ten years earlier, they'd be ahead of the Duggars.

[FireIsCatching89]

They bought their house 11-12 years ago, according to the article. Prices were far more reasonable in this area back then, and they were both "older"--she in her 30s, he in his 40s, so I imagine they had some savings to put down. That's how they afford their house. I don't know how they afford Catholic school and food for everyone, though...

I'm amazed that she has all those children after age 33, and in only 11 years. If she'd started ten years earlier, they'd be ahead of the Duggars.

I imagine, if some of the children attend school where Dad teaches, they get tuition reduction/waivers, so that probably helps a good bit. But still...private school for 8 children, then preschool for two more this fall? Yeeeesh. The parents are likely paying what my parents pay to send me to a private college, room and board included with tuition. It's a stretch, I'm sure.

As for groceries, I can attest to Costco being a lifesaver. In high school, my parents bought a lot of stuff in bulk because I brought sack lunches to school every day and ate a LOT, and it saved a ton of money over those three years. Mom probably is a Costco-ite, and you can even buy fresh produce there!

[lilwriter85]

They bought their house 11-12 years ago, according to the article. Prices were far more reasonable in this area back then, and they were both "older"--she in her 30s, he in his 40s, so I imagine they had some savings to put down. That's how they afford their house. I don't know how they afford Catholic school and food for everyone, though...

I'm amazed that she has all those children after age 33, and in only 11 years. If she'd started ten years earlier, they'd be ahead of the Duggars.

I also really wonder how they afford Catholic school tuition. Some Catholic schools do reduce the amount of tutition per child if a family has more than one child enrolled in the school.

As for food, they probably stretch it the best they can like the wife said. But the article also mentioned people giving them grocery gift cards as donations. I wouldn't be surprised if this family goes to food pantries/banks for food once in awhile.

[lilwriter85]

I laughed reading this comment thread/chain on WaPo's site, at least a few people who replied to the first comment had some common sense.

Such a family should be on reality TV, responsible parents and self-disciplined kids. Americans need role models like these, not idiotic and selfish adults like Kate and Jan Gosselin.

Exactly right!

Actually, no, this family does NOT need to be on TV. They have the family they want and that's great and I wish them well but why do large families need to be extolled and glamorised? I have nothing against them but see no reason for an article, much less a TV show.

I'll admit, I'd prefer this lot had a show over the Duggars. That whole Quiverfull movement is so creepy--plus, the Duggars are independently wealthy, whereas these guys look like they could use a little extra income.

I'm not sure how responsible they are... doesn't sound like they are doing any planning for the future, just running as fast as they can to try and keep up. This article points out that the consequences of having so many children means that you can't afford to pay for their educations, or the parents can't afford to plan for retirement. How is that responsible?

How are they responsible by living beyond their means and using superstition to justify a refusal to use birth control? Their life sounds horrible.

God doesn't have a 529 or 401k plan.

Money folks really isn't everything and I amso glad you all are not trying to run my life as you would like to run these people's. Unless you do live in my voting district ooooh that would be bad!

Money isn't everything, but not having enough of it to feed your family is a pretty big deal. Seriously, what happens when a neighbor or two see their household incomes cut? Where will they get their grocery gift cards from then? Food banks are also running low on food these days, so a reliance on those might be difficult as well. If they haven't already started using food stamps, they'll probably have to eventually, especially once they have themselves a handful of teenagers who eat everything that's not bolted down.

[O Latin]

I just can't get over the fact that the eleven kids range in age from 1-12. That means she has had a baby every year for the last 12 years.

[turquoise]

I can't think of these local large Catholic families without thinking of this. It happened a few years ago. You really do need to be super-organized to care for that many kids.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/co ... 00293.html

This is infuriating. The father acknowledged that he was usually not the one in charge of supervising the children. Yet he did not want his wife to use natural family planning after their 13th child was born.

Before the 21 month old died, there were other instances of the littlest ones wandering off or being left behind. The father's idea of supervising his children seemed to be telling his older children to watch the younger ones.

[lilwriter85]

I had to agree with part of this comment

And no college plans? Reliance on donations from neighbors? How is this worse than the welfare families that people like to deride (and that the Post has written grim stories about in the recent past), just because they're getting welfare from their neighbors rather than the state? On the other hand, maybe they should take advantage of welfare and things like EBT, so they can spend less of their own money on food and maybe save a little for the future of these kids.

I admit I love reading comment sections when stories like these are published. It sort of fun to see some of the debates that happen in comment sections. Quite a bit of people are defending this family and some people aren't really bashing this family but are questioning how the family will be afford college and other things in the future.

[MonkeyMomma]

they spent six years with four children simultaneously in diapers.

This is the part where I would drop dead.

[MonkeyMomma]

I can't think of these local large Catholic families without thinking of this. It happened a few years ago. You really do need to be super-organized to care for that many kids.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/co ... 00293.html

This is one of the saddest things I've read in a long time. That poor baby girl, and her poor mother. I normally hold back on judgement in cases of kids left in cars because it's so tragic for the parents, but I can't help but think, what a shit of a husband/father.

[gustava]

Although the result is the same--lots and lots of children -- I think there is a very strong philosophical difference between true "quiverfullers" and "good Catholics" and we must not conflate the two. QFers want an army for God, to overthrow the heathens. I don't get the sense that these parents want to breed in order to produce an army to smite us heathens.

Equally wacko, however.

[shesinsane]

Although the result is the same--lots and lots of children -- I think there is a very strong philosophical difference between true "quiverfullers" and "good Catholics" and we must not conflate the two. QFers want an army for God, to overthrow the heathens. I don't get the sense that these parents want to breed in order to produce an army to smite us heathens.

Equally wacko, however.

I concur, when reading the article I noticed how they don't homeschool or homechurch (the mother of 11 attends morning mass, her husband doesn't hold it in their home). They're even sending some of their kids to preschool!

When planning for a trip, the mother gives each kid a ziplock bag and a packing list. Hear that Mrs. Duggar? The mother coordinates the packing, she doesn't delegate it to her daughters! Sounds like the mother works her butt off taking caree of her family, not making her children raise their siblings. The article talks a lot about the family's faith, but not about them proseltyzing. No mention of them not having a tv, dressing modestly, etc. Big family does not equal Quiverfull (which is a good thing).

[lilwriter85]

I concur, when reading the article I noticed how they don't homeschool or homechurch (the mother of 11 attends morning mass, her husband doesn't hold it in their home). They're even sending some of their kids to preschool!

When planning for a trip, the mother gives each kid a ziplock bag and a packing list. Hear that Mrs. Duggar? The mother coordinates the packing, she doesn't delegate it to her daughters! Sounds like the mother works her butt off taking caree of her family, not making her children raise their siblings. The article talks a lot about the family's faith, but not about them proseltyzing. No mention of them not having a tv, dressing modestly, etc. Big family does not equal Quiverfull (which is a good thing).

I agree the mom in this family seems hard working unlike J'Chelle.

[Olivia]

Wow. We live in D.C. and my husband and I have been discussing how to make things work on one paycheck so I can SAHM with our kids, and we're not going to have eleven! but then, as well as possible private school tuition we have to save for their college and our own retirements, so yeah... a little different.

They seem like nice people, I just can't imagine popping out a baby a year and living in such tight financial situations. It would stress me out.

[ladypuglover]

This is one of the saddest things I've read in a long time. That poor baby girl, and her poor mother. I normally hold back on judgement in cases of kids left in cars because it's so tragic for the parents, but I can't help but think, what a shit of a husband/father.

Also the poor 17 year old who was blamed by the father. :evil: The 17 yro shouldn't have to watch his baby sister as it wasn't his kid and he wasn't asked to watch her. Dad just assumed that the teen had better parenting skills than he does. I really feel for that poor boy suffering for his dumbass father's neglect.

[Buzzard]

I would hope that the church supports their decision to actually follow the teachings and have all those kids by waiving the tuition... Good for them for following their faith without holing their family up away from the world. I love that the parents run the household and not the 10 year old girl. The Duggars have a lot to learn from these people...

I cant even imagine the pain the boy who was watching the baby must feel. Absolutely awful... but it seems that god has stepped in and denied that family more children (as they'll see it). Locking up daddy closes the womb...

[Prek teach]

Daddy didn't get locked up, he has to host a blood drive each year in her memory. He appealed his very light sentence btw because he didn't feel it was his fault. Seriously. And for the amount of kids they had, their house looked like crap. Worst on the block. After her death, people from the church went over and helped clean the house.

[MonkeyMomma]

Also the poor 17 year old who was blamed by the father. :evil: The 17 yro shouldn't have to watch his baby sister as it wasn't his kid and he wasn't asked to watch her. Dad just assumed that the teen had better parenting skills than he does. I really feel for that poor boy suffering for his dumbass father's neglect.

Absolutely. I hope the big brother gets far away and gets the support he needs to forgive himself and cut his father out.

[longskirtlotsakids]

When we were getting picked up I had a peripheral view of her but as this was ordinary, I took no notice of her," Anthony Kelly wrote. "The next time I saw her she was dead. . . . The only thing I can say is that I and all of us loved her and because she was baptized, we know she is in heaven."

Oh well, see. THey baptized her, so their bases are covered. They are good parents after all, unlike me.

Of course, I actually supervise my kids and try postponing their trip to heaven.

[xDreamerx]

I have to give this woman some credit. At least she cares for the children and seems to view them as her responsibility instead of relying on her daughters to raise them.

I have a question, in America do you have to pay to belong to Catholic school? Some people are commenting on tuition costs so I was curious. Here in Ontario the Catholic School Board is publicly funded. You just have to change your tax forums so that the money you're paying toward education goes to the Catholic board and not the public one if your child(ren) is/are in Catholic school.

[slickcat79]

I have a question, in America do you have to pay to belong to Catholic school? Some people are commenting on tuition costs so I was curious. Here in Ontario the Catholic School Board is publicly funded. You just have to change your tax forums so that the money you're paying toward education goes to the Catholic board and not the public one if your child(ren) is/are in Catholic school.

Catholic schools do not count as public schools here. I feel like at one point DC (or some parts of it) participated in a voucher program where parents could get tax refunds to help cover private/parochial school tuition instead of sending their kids to public schools. I'm not sure if that still exists, or if it would have covered all the tuition in any case.

They probably do have an agreement with the school that lessens the cost for that many kids to attend. Agreed that if the church is going to encourage the family to have more kids than they can afford to educate, they should give them a break on those costs.

[masagoroll]

This is infuriating. The father acknowledged that he was usually not the one in charge of supervising the children. Yet he did not want his wife to use natural family planning after their 13th child was born.

Before the 21 month old died, there were other instances of the littlest ones wandering off or being left behind. The father's idea of supervising his children seemed to be telling his older children to watch the younger ones.

I think he sounds like a horrible person. Refusing to use birth control (in some form) when your wife wants to is REPRODUCTIVE COERCION. And their bad parenting and the DEATH of their child were caused by his carelessness!

I can certainly understand forgetting the baby in the car, but not leaving her for SEVEN HOURS. Why didn't he think "I need to feed the baby her lunch" or "Isn't it time for Frances' nap?" Also, if you have that many children, keep a count! As a preschool teacher, I count heads all freaking day!

[slickcat79]

This is infuriating. The father acknowledged that he was usually not the one in charge of supervising the children. Yet he did not want his wife to use natural family planning after their 13th child was born.

Before the 21 month old died, there were other instances of the littlest ones wandering off or being left behind. The father's idea of supervising his children seemed to be telling his older children to watch the younger ones.

Dude didn't even know how to spell the kid's name. "Frances" is not even that difficult. So sick and sad.