How would a fundie wife handle infidelity?

[luckylassie]

I wonder how a Duggar girl or other fundy would handle it if their patriarch were to have another significant other on the side. I hope it never happens but you never know. I know of so many non fundie women that stayed with untrue husbands even though said husband clearly did not want to be in the marriage anymore. Sad but true.

[maybeizfundie]

Depends on the couple (and their church, probably).

With the ones I know, there's a lot of variety. Some would just stick it out silently. Others have separated and stayed seperate. Others have separated and been willing to restore the marriage after the cheating husband has met a number of conditions. Same goes for the abuse issue. Although, I know more who have separated (and a few who have divorced) for abuse than for adultery.

[GenerationCedarchip]

Most of these women are so econonomically dependent on their husbands that they really don't leave very often and the scandal related to a divorce even for adultery would be HUGE. Back when I was still in the fundie church, you'd occasionally hear about women separating for a time and then going back but even that was controversial. The only woman I personally knew of who divorced over cheating was the daughter of a major business owner in town so she had a source of support.

[emeraldskull]

They would, most likely, stay with him and hope he repents. This happens among fundies just as much as among other people, although I've read more about fundie husband incest rather than affairs... either way, the wife usually has nowhere to go. Nobody will believe her if she "rats him out", and even if they did, their church "leadership" would tell them to work it out, he would "apologize" and she would have to "forgive and forget", and move on, regardless of whether he was really sorry or not.

[ElphabaGalinda]

I imagine they would find a reason to make it their fault and strive to be a more submissive, better, and all around Godly wife. Perhaps go to their church for help, who may or may not push for them to stay married. Where would they go if they wanted to leave anyways? I wish that wasn't true, but from what I know, I feel like it is.

[luckylassie]

Sadly many wives see it as their fault (even secular families). I've known women who go to great lengths (such as a baby or operations) to keep their husbands. I wrote a fan fiction about it. I'm anxious to see the comments on it.

[luckylassie]

I wonder what the incest rates are in fundie homes? I think boys and girls are taught to keep their feelings under control at all times even sexual feelings.

[Buzzard]

Pearl addressed it in "created to be his helpmeet". Pretty much, its the wife's fault. She should pray and figure out what she did wrong to make him happy and stop cheating. Bitch...

[Librul]

She would apologize for not "staying sweet" and look for ways to please him, unfortunately, because the fact that he strayed is due to her flaws as a woman. Suck it up, sister, and stay sweet, because with your abysmal education, you ain't going anywhere.

I hate that my post count was lost, even though I was told it would be saved. They should be stacked like cordwood...

[luckylassie]

I know of men who are total horn dogs. Even the sweetest and most perfect wife would not be good enough to prevent them from wandering. Some just are rotten men I think. The men I find the most disgusting are the rich, spoiled, mama's boys.

[fundiefan]

She'll blame herself and make herself crazy trying to fix herself in order to be his perfect helpmeet. Because obviously it is only her failings that led him to lust after another and act on it. He isn't responsible. She drove him to it by being too loud, too selifsh, too stubborn, too tired, too...whatever. She will spend hours praying to fix herself and be better for him.

[emeraldskull]

I know of men who are total horn dogs. Even the sweetest and most perfect wife would not be good enough to prevent them from wandering. Some just are rotten men I think.

This is true. Some men will have an affair no matter HOW sweet, sexy, serving and perfect their wife is. And really, it doesn't matter what kind of a wife a guy has, if he committed to her then it isn't her fault if he can't keep it in his pants. Unfortunately among fundies, everyone assumes there must be SOMETHING (and usually a huge something) that the wife did to "make him wander" :-P