Why do their birthday posts always come across as insults???

[Koala]

So since reading Jessica's (me and all these kids) birthday post about her son, I have noticed that fundie moms often take their kid's birthdays as an opportunity to level them with insults, with a few "kind words" tossed in for good measure.

This, however, takes the cake:

happylittlehomemaker.org/2011/08/two-years-old.html

1. " God also gave her a big set of lungs which she regularly exercises to this day. (If you don't believe me, ask anyone who happens to be in our church when she's taken out of the service for misbehaving!)"

So basically she's talking about her kid screaming (and we all know what she's screaming about). :cry: :cry: :cry: This from the mom that couldn't decide how to discipline her sick daughter, who had JUST come home from spending the night in the hospital.

2. "For example, Uncle Doug gave her a boatload of beach toys for her birthday (Uncle Doug has a knack for coming up with awesome birthday presents and the funniest cards...he's getting quite the reputation). We let her take a few into the tub for her Saturday night bath. While we were in the kitchen, we kept hearing over and over: "At tu, (thank-you) Dud (Doug)! At tu, Dud! At tu, Dud!"

All I can hope, is that part of this story got left out, and they are NOT implying that they left their 2 year old unsupervised in a bath tub.

3. " Despite a strong-will and a tendency to be somewhat shy, Charity usually has a happy disposition, for which we are very thankful. She's quite responsive to correction, and is genuinely sorry when she knows she's done wrong. Her apologies for disobedience usually mean a prayer ("Pray? Mommy? Pray?"), a "Sorwie, Mommy. I wuv you too," a quick hug and a kiss, and a scamper back to her toys."

Just heartbreaking. I wrote birthday 2 year old birthday letters to my children, and they didn't sound anything like this. I could just cry for this poor baby.

[demgirl]

I remember this one. She's the one who was in a tizzy about how to punish her seriously ill toddler who had been in the hospital, right? Of course that is what she writes about her child on her birthday. There are few who have managed to enrage me the way that she did (Emma from Strong Quiver is about on par with her, although maybe slightly worse). If God were truly in charge of the opening and closing of wombs, He would never allow people like this to have children.

[Austin]

If God were truly in charge of the opening and closing of wombs, He would never allow people like this to have children.

[BlackHawk]

I'm just looking around her blog now, so I don't know much about her. I will say, however, that her kid has the MOST hair I've ever seen on a baby "a few days old". WOW! Every child I've known in our family was born with slick flat hair.. but it never poofed out like that! Gorgeous!

[Koala]

I'm just looking around her blog now, so I don't know much about her. I will say, however, that her kid has the MOST hair I've ever seen on a baby "a few days old". WOW! Every child I've known in our family was born with slick flat hair.. but it never poofed out like that! Gorgeous!

You probably won't find too much. I believe she went on a little deleting spree a while back.

[BlackHawk]

You probably won't find too much. I believe she went on a little deleting spree a while back.

Sadly, she didn't get everything... UGH I cannot stand people who use "statistics" but give no source... cmon now. She is in her early 20s (the post I just looked at said she turned 21, but I didn't look at the date) and the shit out of her mouth makes me want to smack her.

Is the fact that at least 6 million children in the USA live with homosexual parents progress? When 70% of the women applying for artificial insemination are lesbians, do we call that progress? Is progress adding Daddy's Roommate and Heather has two Mommies to the recommended reading list for first graders in public school? Is the fact that some children will have sex by the time they are nine-years old with three or more people progress? Is the fact that children are increasingly given to homosexuals and lesbians when their custody is disputed by a heterosexual parent progress? Is 25% of homosexuals stating that they would prefer sex with children progress?

happylittlehomemaker.org/2010/04/politically-incorrect-post.html

WHERE ARE YOUR SOURCES!!!

Dear fundie idiots,

SOURCES. Seriously.

Thanks,

Mgmt.

[demgirl]

Seriously. Her "facts" would be funny, if it wasn't so fucking sad. And if she didn't actually believe them and try to convince others to do the same.

[Beeks]

Sad. As I comparison, my son just turned 2 too. Here is what I wrote:

You are TWO! I can't believe it. Time is flying by and you have grown and changed so much in the past year I am just blown away. You are happy and healthy and discovering the world at a rapid rate. You speak in sentences and have so many words that it would be impossible to count them. At the end of the day Dad and I just sit down and talk about all the cute and hilarious things you said that day!

At two years old, some of your favorite things include:

-Your stuffed bunny

-Lightning McQueen from the movie "Cars"

-Reading books

-playing with cars and trucks; watching the garbage truck come by

-Going for walks or playing at the park (anything outside, really)

-Playing with water in the front yard or at the sink

-Elmo

-Music - especially "Elmo's Song," "Forget You" by Cee Lo Green, "I Gotta Feelin" by the Black Eyed Peas and "Remarkable Cows" from your Philadelphia Chickens CD (yes quite a variety there).

-Your teachers, [name] and [name], your babysitter [name], and your extended family, especially Gigi and PeePa

You are a GREAT eater and will try almost anything. Sometimes you seem like a bottomless pit and I fear for the teenage years! For your birthday dinner you requested "pretzels" "a piece of candy" and "jelly." You settled for a calzone instead. =)

You are also a darling big brother. When [brother] is sitting in his chair cooing you like to say "[brother], are you singing a song?" and when [brother] cries you will often run over to his crib to see what's the matter.

I love you more every day. You have challenged me in ways I never expected and you've shown me that I'm stronger than I thought I was. You are truly a unique soul and I think you will have a special purpose here. Whatever you end up doing in life, wherever you go, no matter how far away, I hope you know that I'll always be on your side. Don't be afraid to be your own exceptional self. I love you exactly, exactly as you are.

[BlackHawk]

Sad. As I comparison, my son just turned 2 too. Here is what I wrote:

You are TWO! I can't believe it. Time is flying by and you have grown and changed so much in the past year I am just blown away. You are happy and healthy and discovering the world at a rapid rate. You speak in sentences and have so many words that it would be impossible to count them. At the end of the day Dad and I just sit down and talk about all the cute and hilarious things you said that day!

At two years old, some of your favorite things include:

-Your stuffed bunny

-Lightning McQueen from the movie "Cars"

-Reading books

-playing with cars and trucks; watching the garbage truck come by

-Going for walks or playing at the park (anything outside, really)

-Playing with water in the front yard or at the sink

-Elmo

-Music - especially "Elmo's Song," "Forget You" by Cee Lo Green, "I Gotta Feelin" by the Black Eyed Peas and "Remarkable Cows" from your Philadelphia Chickens CD (yes quite a variety there).

-Your teachers, [name] and [name], your babysitter [name], and your extended family, especially Gigi and PeePa

You are a GREAT eater and will try almost anything. Sometimes you seem like a bottomless pit and I fear for the teenage years! For your birthday dinner you requested "pretzels" "a piece of candy" and "jelly." You settled for a calzone instead. =)

You are also a darling big brother. When [brother] is sitting in his chair cooing you like to say "[brother], are you singing a song?" and when [brother] cries you will often run over to his crib to see what's the matter.

I love you more every day. You have challenged me in ways I never expected and you've shown me that I'm stronger than I thought I was. You are truly a unique soul and I think you will have a special purpose here. Whatever you end up doing in life, wherever you go, no matter how far away, I hope you know that I'll always be on your side. Don't be afraid to be your own exceptional self. I love you exactly, exactly as you are.

That is an appropriate birthday post! This talks about the good things.. I'm sure in the last two years your kid has gotten on your nerves.. tis the nature of children, but to just focus on that in a birthday letter? cmon.

(Beeks, first I love your sons taste in music! secondly, awesome letter!)

[Guest Anonymous]

Beeks, your letter made me cry. :) So did the happy homemaker's, but in a very different way....

[demgirl]

I just went to check out a blog that Jacinda links to called God Made Home Grown. I haven't found anything too wretched (at least not yet), but I did see some sort of "challenge" on the sidebar that features a big loaf of bread and the words "Feed The Children Challenge".

At first I thought -- "Wow! A fundie blogger who wants to feed the children! That's awesome! I wonder if they are working to feed hungry kids in each of their local communities? Or are they planning to raise money to help a national organization? Or is this an international thing, for Africa or something? This is great! Such a true example of what Christians should spend their time doing, rather than blogging about their worry that they aren't punishing their sick young children harshly enough! Awesomesauce!"

And, that's where I went wrong. I got my hopes up. I had visions of local food banks overcome by the generous donations of Christian SAHMs everywhere. Instead, I realized that Feed the Children has no interest in actually, well, feeding children. Especially not someone else's children. Here is how God Made Home Grown's author, Tiana, explains the challenge:

Last week I wrote about giving our little ones three square meals from the Bible, to avoid having chronically spiritually malnourished children.

Did you try it? How did it go?

One thing that I have been reminded of this week is that our children aren’t usually the only ones starving for God’s Word. We moms–the perpetual martyrs that we are–tend to ignore our own need for spiritual nourishment. It’s pretty hard to serve and nurture others when you yourself are famished, isn’t it?

Gah. Why? Why do I do this to myself? Hopes raised. Hopes crushed. Depression. Disappointment. Disillusionment with world. Despair. It's a vicious cycle.

[Beeks]

Beeks, your letter made me cry. :) So did the happy homemaker's, but in a very different way....

Thanks. Her blog makes me sick on a very regular basis, because our children are almost exactly the same ages. I just cannot imagine treating my little guys the way she treats hers. It's hard for me to read her stuff. :(

[liltwinstar]

Three bible lessons a day? That sounds...fun.

Not to get too far OT, but I *hate* the fact that many fundies seem to think they must force-feed the Bible at every opportunity. It doesn't work - it just puts kids on information overload. Is there any other subject of life or school that they think that's appropriate for? No. Also, if Christianity/Jesus was all they say it's cracked up to be, their kids wouldn't need that much persuading in the first place.

I have really bad memories of every math lesson having to reference the Bible, giant encyclopedia-like books where we had to look up words like "meal" or "wedding" or "obedience" and find every single Bible verse on that subject, history lessons talking endlessly about the Bible, etc etc. I got so sick and tired of it all! It was too much!