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Branson Church Getaway Planner!


GeoBQn

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I work for a Jewish organization. Because we are on a lot of generic religious catalogue mailing lists, we sometimes get mailings for which we are clearly not the target audience. One of these is the Branson Church Getaway Planner, which my boss allows me to take for snark value. People who are more familiar than Branson might be able to fill in the blanks

A couple of highlights:

--The Sight and Sound show Joseph! will be replaced by Jonah. They are getting to be as bad as the Duggars, only going with J names.

--There are ads for Stained Glass Theatre, a Christian theatre presenting "drama to heal a hurting nation."

--The Body and Soul Fest includes a father/son triathlon. No word yet on what events, if any, will be mother/daughter.

--Under "Good News!" they announce that the Great Passion Play of Eureka Springs has been saved for the 2013 season. Please explain to me why the fuck the revival of an anti-Semitic show is "good news."

--Dolly Parton's Dixie Stampede has brought back their world famous "racing ostriches."

--Local musicals include "Smoke on the Mountain," a "hilarious gospel musical comedy."

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I can't help but think of the episode of The Big Bang Theory when Mary Cooper is heading out on a cruise. Seriously, they pay people to come up with this stuff?

Leonard: So what kind of cruise is this you’re going on?

Mrs Cooper: It’s called the Born Again Boat Ride. Christian Quarterly gave it their highest rating, five thorny crowns. I do wish you’d come with me, Sheldon.

Sheldon: Well, Mom, if I did, it would be conclusive proof that your God can work miracles.

Mrs Cooper: You’re missing out. It’s gonna be wall-to-wall fun. It’s all themed. There’s Jonah and the Whale Watching, all-you-can-eat Last Supper Buffet, and my personal favourite, Gunning with God.

Leonard: What’s Gunning with God? I’m afraid to ask.

Mrs Cooper: Oh, it is a hoot and a half. You write your sins on a clay pigeon, they fire ‘em up in the air, and you pulverize them with a 12-gauge shotgun full of our Lord’s forgiveness.

Sheldon: Frankly, Mom, I’m encouraged to see how advanced your group has become, willing to sail out into the ocean without fear of falling off the edge.

Mrs Cooper: For example, if Shelly was aboard, he’d write “smart mouth†on his pigeon, and then bam!

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We went to Eureka Springs a few times in the late '80s - early '90s and the passion play was one of the long time attractions. It sounds as if it was about to close and it got "saved", no pun intended. Interesting. Maybe things aren't so holy rollerish down there anymore.

We met a lot of nice people down there but it was tough to avoid any questions about church, Jesus, or Oral Roberts.

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I can't help but think of the episode of The Big Bang Theory when Mary Cooper is heading out on a cruise. Seriously, they pay people to come up with this stuff?

Love the Big Bang quoting! It's my favorite show!

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We went to Eureka Springs a few times in the late '80s - early '90s and the passion play was one of the long time attractions. It sounds as if it was about to close and it got "saved", no pun intended.

I think there was a tornado or some other serious weather situation there in the last two years or so. It might be that they literally saved the venue. I'm not sure what all was damaged in that area, though.

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