Now Lady Lydia is a matchmaker!!

[anniebgood]

She's helping a 50 year old bachelor look for a June Cleaver wannabe......with references from her parents and family:

The man has just turned 50 and has never been married; looks more like he is 40, and lives in a small town. He is seeking someone who wishes to be a stay-at-home wife and would enjoy fixing up a house that he owns. Also, he believes in home schooling. If she dresses modestly and is looking for an opportunity to help someone in his life by being a homemaker, and if she likes to cook or sew, this is an ideal situation for her. She must have references from her parents and family.

He is not the strong silent type. He's the strong communicative type. He does not drink or smoke; loves animals and children. I know his family and have found them to be pleasant and upright.

If there is anyone between 35 and 50 that is looking, she may contact me, and I'll put her in touch with some of this man's relatitives, who will be able to give a reference and make an introduction.

Good God.

[CanadianHippie]

She's advertising for slaves wives now?

[Shina]

Oh Lord, is anyone stupid desperate enough to actually answer this dumbfuckery?

[anniebgood]

Yeah and they have to have references from their family or parents, and be between 35 and 50. This guy sounds pretty desperate. How sad.

[Shirley MacLaine]

OMG, finally a reason to chuck my boyfriend!

[Shina]

Bahaha, I would pay money to have an FJer answer this guy's ad. Can you imagine the entertainment possibilities?

[fundyfunland]

:banana-skier: :banana-ninja: :banana-jumprope: ok i just really thought those emoticons were cute. nothing to do with the convo @ hand.

sooo....cook, clean, cook clean... how many times was that mentioned? obviously the guy is old and may be unable to have kids, what is a virtuous maiden to do then? and THINK OF ALL THOSE UNBORN CHILDREN! OHHH...heavens Not so shockingly, Lady Hohum is off her rocker again...or still.

[Cran]

You know, if I wasn't younger than wished for, I would apply, just for the fun of it! :mrgreen:

But no references, my parents are hardcore esoterics.

[LaydNimue]

Dear Strong Lady Lydia Bachelor,

I just had to reply to your tempting offer because obviously you are quite the catch! Usually men your age are either taken or gay so I can't believe my good luck!! Woo-Hoo!! :dance: I could really be your stay-at-home wife? I wouldn't have to go grocery shopping or fetch the mail? That would work out so nicely with my "secret agoraphobia" I'm also pleased to hear that your family is upright as I so very much detest when everybody is lying around slumped all over the furniture. Btw, I'm 46 years old but I can still defraud a man with just a glimpse of my ankle if you know what I mean :oops:

Can't wait for my daddy to hear from your daddy!!!

Sincerely,

Miss Cleaver

[Sola]

Sounds like a job application rather than someone looking for a relationship.

Reading between the lines it comes across as this:

Male (age 50), never married due to being a bolshie arrogant twat who never found a woman to put up with him. Mother recently deceased, hence requirement for female to take her place.

Must enjoy interior decoration; male is terminally clueless at this sort of thing and Mother wouldn't spend any money, therefore house is a shed which requires some work.

Believes in home-schooling; thereby easier to train brainwash educate any children without the interference of the ebil government.

Must dress modestly; burqa provided if necessary.

Must cook, clean, sew and be a whore in the bedroom. References required, although not from previous employers husbands.

He is not the strong silent type; his is mouthy, opinionated, arrogant whose word is law. He's the strong communicative type; make me a sammich dammit.

He does not drink or smoke. Loves animals and children; owns own gun and a plumbing line.

Virginal female of 35 to 55 required, must still be fertile. Apply with photograph, certificate of virginity and references to:

Old hag Lydia

C/o Don't Have A Clue Cottage

[CanadianHippie]

References required, although not from previous employers husbands.

I dunno... She doesn't specify what kind of family. One could argue that "family" includes ex's of either gender.

[VodouDoll]

Drat, Sarah Maxwell is just a little too young. But at the rate Steve's going finding a husband for her, soon men like this will be her only options.

[fundiefan]

Drat, Sarah Maxwell is just a little too young. But at the rate Steve's going finding a husband for her, soon men like this will be her only options.

Ha! My first thought before I even finished reading his resume was "Finally, a man for Sarah". Damn her for being such a young pup at 29. A nice looking 50 year old would step into daddy Steve's role in her life perfectly!

[clibbyjo]

The dude is 50 and unmarried in fundieland? He must really be a DUD if the girls passed him by during prime courting days.. I would hope no one would try to push off Sarah or someone like her on him.Give him a 50 year old who cannot breed anymore,not a fertile woman who agrees just to get out of her parents home because her dream of SAHM are disappearing.

[Burris]

I suspect Sola is probably right: This guy's mom recently died, and he's looking for someone to fill the void.

The fact he's 50 and never-married says less about him, I think, than the fact he's advertising for a companion through Lydia's blog and has placed two layers of people - Lydia, and then one of his relatives - between himself and any potential prospect.

[forever ago]

If he's in fundieland I have a really hard time believing he's never been married.

I suspect he's lying, or had serial girlfriends and possibly a drinking problem. He converted to fundyism and cleaned himself up, but now he has his own place that still needs a clean-up and he's not sure how to go about it. 'Never married' doesn't mean 'never touched a woman.'

I bet his poor mother is still alive and nagging him to get a 'proper' wife and family. He likely has a few illegitimate children somewhere.

Personal ads are still ads, they're all so full of shit they leave other, important details out.

[kaetrin]

He's probably a real catch like Anna T's friend Marky-Mark.

[anniebgood]

Wonder if we should forward this to the Maxwells? Sarah needs a man, he needs a wife, she's got impeccable fundy credentials, and Northern IL isn't that far from KS. I've got a ton of relatives in northern IL (DeKalb, Maple Park, Sycamore,Belvedere) including a bachelor farmer cousin. But he's 65 and too set in his ways to ever have a wife.

:lol:

And can someone please explain what in the hell this commenter on her site is talking about? Even for fundie speak it's pretty odd:

Lady Lydia,

This if off subject but I wanted to tell you that the Lord has laid another strong message on my heart, warning that outward appearance really Does matter with many proofs in the newest article.I have been convicted myself, by the many things He is showing me and asked me to share with others. Many of us are obedient but still wonder why and does it really matter in light of Eternity?It really does matter and many of us can become confused when we read all the different blogs and look at all the various images.The Lord has given me answers, that He wanted me to share with others and that may ultimately answer the question we all might have asked at one time or another,WHY?

Someone's been hitting the elderberry brandy and typing I think.

:banana-dreads: :banana-stoner: :character-sebastian: :confusion-helpsos:

[Burris]

She has changed the ad, which now reads in part: "If there is anyone between 35 and 45 that is looking..."

He wants, at least, someone who is five years his junior - because so many people are beating a path to his door that he can afford to be picky.

One of Lydia's posters described this guy as a "jewel." Yeah - I guess that's one way of putting it.

[Mommy22alyns]

That's just gross. Ick.

[clibbyjo]

Piece of work wanting a woman 15 years younger than him. If he is so great why doesn't LL hook him up with one of her girls?(does she have girls?I don;t know much about her)

[GenerationCedarchip]

Piece of work wanting a woman 15 years younger than him. If he is so great why doesn't LL hook him up with one of her girls?(does she have girls?I don;t know much about her)

This reminds me of fundies who would place ads in our college newspaper talking about how they wanted a submissive Christian wife. The wife always had to be under 30 and sometimes they would even specify height/weight, and they always mentioned how well they could provide financially for a large family. These guys always sounded even more creepy than they did desperate and most were close to my dad's age. And the really crazy part? This was a secular state college!

[emmiedahl]

He could find a couple of wives here: http://www.2wives.com/ He sounds like a real classy guy.

[makepeace]

What is the salary? Do you get paid maternity leave?? How creepy.

[Bookworm89]

I threw up a little in my mouth after reading that "ad". He can't find his own woman so he has to have help from Lady Lydia of all people. He must be really desperate.