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Valley paper criticized over pastor's column on spousal rape


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The Mat-Su Valley Frontiersman has apologized to readers and says it will help organize a "community summit against sex crimes" after it published a column by a Wasilla pastor who contended that, from a biblical standpoint, a man cannot be accused of raping his wife if she resists his sexual approaches. Ron Hamman of Independent Baptist Church of Wasilla told The Frontiersman his "Religion Views" column stemmed from an accusation that Alaska pastors are covering up spousal rape. Hamman wrote in response:

The truth is that God has given to us physical needs we commonly refer to as a "sex drive," and he has designed for these to be met within the bounds of marriage. The trouble comes when one spouse or the other decides to exact retaliation against the other because of some offense and withholds him or herself from his or her mate. This is wickedness, and such is a violation of the spirit of marriage on the part of the withholder.

Thus, if these allegations of spousal rape are due to the wife withholding herself in attempt to control or punish her husband, she is out of line with God. And it doesn't matter how many laws are passed, it will just be another reason why God will not bless America.

In a followup conversation with The Frontiersman, Hamman agreed that a man who is, for example, drunk could be accused of "abuse" after beating his wife and forcing sex on her. If Hamman offered any further clarification of this distinction from what he originally wrote, The Frontiersman does not report it in its editorial, headlined "Rape is illegal and immoral."

Read more: http://www.adn.com/2011/07/22/1980301/r ... z1T5MFfVwu

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Aside from the whole issue of marital rape being evil, how does this make the slightest bit of practical sense? If you did something to piss off your spouse enough that they want to "punish" you, do you REALLY think that forcing sex on them is going to make things remotely better?

If a woman had a need that wasn't being met (ha, 'if') they would just tell her that it's her cross to bear in godly suffering. If a man has a need that isn't being met, then he's entitled to force his wife to meet his needs. The only logical explanation is that there are a lot of woman hating shitbags out there.

sigh.

I imagine a lot of fundies get into these witholding as "punishment"/forcing situations because they don't know how to talk about sex with their partner and because they were never taught about consent. I think the women especially find it hard to talk about what they do and don't want (and why) sexually. Hell, that's hard anyway, but when you're raised to believe that you're suppose to be a doormat who loves sex but would never show or admit it because that makes you a whore, but that you're also supposed to act like you like it even when you don't want it at all... Yikes.

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What about the spouses that demand sex when the other psychically can not perform? Say the wife just had a baby 3 days before and the husband is in the mood for sex? I know when that happened to me by my first husband, I knew it was rape. Rape is rape and no means no.

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What about the spouses that demand sex when the other psychically can not perform? Say the wife just had a baby 3 days before and the husband is in the mood for sex? I know when that happened to me by my first husband, I knew it was rape. Rape is rape and no means no.

OMG, LPL - I'm so sorry that happened to you! I can't even imagine. . . I'm so glad you got away from him.

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The pastor is sick.

Ladypluglover, it makes me angry that happened to you. I am sorry that you had to go through that, but I'm grateful that you were strong enough to leave.

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Phylis Schlafly (who spawned the freak that runs Conservapedia) was spouting this nonsense for a long time. She claimed that the marital vow gives consent forever that can never be revoked. As bad as Hammon is, he's certainly not the first to come up with this idea.

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So... a wife withholding sex to control or punish her husband isn't right with God, but a husband who forces sex to selfishly get his rocks off is A-OK?

On a somewhat related note, was the original article's pastor from Wasilla, Alaska? Wasn't that where Palin used to hold a government office and where they require rape victims to pay for their own hospital rape kits? If so, I can't say I'm horribly surprised to hear a pro-rapist sentiment coming from that city.

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The pastor seemed to have forgotten the second half of 1 Cor 7:1:

The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. I mean, a literal interpretation of the verse isn't how I believed it was meant -- just that we are one flesh and should be generous to each other -- but if you ARE intrepreting literally, it's her right to direct his peen because she owns his body.

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The pastor seemed to have forgotten the second half of 1 Cor 7:1:

The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. I mean, a literal interpretation of the verse isn't how I believed it was meant -- just that we are one flesh and should be generous to each other -- but if you ARE intrepreting literally, it's her right to direct his peen because she owns his body.

They probably do believe that a wife also owns her husband's body. They're just the same idiots who typically believe that a man can't be raped because no Real Man would ever not want to have sex.

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Lady PugLover, I am so, so sorry. I hope the asshole is in jail for life. I am glad you are away from him.

Rape is rape. It doesn't matter if you're married to the person or not. Consensual sex means consent on BOTH SIDES. If a woman doesn't want to have sex, it's because she has reasons. If the reasons are that she is upset with her husband for something, it's not going to make it better by raping her. Perhaps he should try, um, say, apologizing? Fixing what he did wrong? Not doing mean awful things that upset her?

This just disgusts me, not only that there are people that will do it, but that there are people who say it's God's Will. That's bullshit.

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So... a wife withholding sex to control or punish her husband isn't right with God, but a husband who forces sex to selfishly get his rocks off is A-OK?

On a somewhat related note, was the original article's pastor from Wasilla, Alaska? Wasn't that where Palin used to hold a government office and where they require rape victims to pay for their own hospital rape kits? If so, I can't say I'm horribly surprised to hear a pro-rapist sentiment coming from that city.

Making women pay for their own rape kits??? What the fuck? That's just evil.

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I just popped in while waiting for my younger sons to get ready for swimming but I want to say thank you everyone for your concern. It happened but it is all in the past for me, at least I think so. No, my ex isn't in jail for any of the crimes he commited against me or my 2 oldest sons. He is happily married to a woman who knows the whole story and thinks I an our sons got what we had coming. When they had their oldest child, my ex gave up all rights to my 2 oldest sons and my husband adopted them. My husband has been in their life since they were 15 months and 3 months old, so that is the dad they ever knew and wanted. Yes, my sons know why my ex gave them up because he had another child on the way because that is what my ex and his wife told them. A lot of pain but they are happy they never had to have that man as their father and only 1 of the 2 will have anything to do with him and that is only because he wants to someday meet his younger 2 siblings.

I think that is why I am so anti fundy even though I am a Christian myself. I know first hand the abuse a man or woman can do to their spouse and children. Sexual, mental, regliously,emotionaly, bodily with food, hands, money, and so forth. It is all abuse. Just don't use my God to do as my ex husband did.

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Making women pay for their own rape kits??? What the fuck? That's just evil.

Yep, as Mayor Palin actually approved the police budget which got rid of the funding to cover rape kits. One of the many reasons that even if Obama had been the Anti-Christ, I still would have voted for him in '08 just to keep Palin the hell away from office.

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Valsa, no joke. That was one big bucket of crazy.

LPL good for you for getting out. Glad to hear that your situation is improved!

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Ugh. It's creeps like this that keep me out of the church. I know that not every pastor is like this, but discrimination and hate seem to be a running theme in a lot of churches nowadays. My time is better spent at home on Sunday mornings, spending time with my family.

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