Homeschooling Opinion

[reds]

(tangent from another questionable blog.)

I am not opposed to home schooling, i just think that others, like educated teachers, can do it better than i can. It is also about teaching the child how to function without mom and dad there to think for them. In school they also learn how to work with others and how to get over personality conflicts. At home is where children learn to fight and make up.

I want my kids to do things without question but that is only because it will make my life easier. I want them to brush their teeth without question. I dont want them to do something that would be considered unethical or wrong without protest. My son is having issues with this concept and wont do anything he is told. The more independant my kids are, the happier I am. I am trying to raise successful people and if that means by your standard we are all heathens, so be it. Also my defination of success is being able to live on your own in your mid twenties, pay your bills and not beg me for handouts.

[emmiedahl]

Most homeschoolers are not raising losers who beg for handouts and can't spell a three letter word.

We read about a lot of the idiots here, but the average homeschooling mom is working very hard to give her kids the best possible education, and in many cases succeeding. I homeschooled and was very successful. I had to stop because of life circumstances, but I still look back on it fondly and miss it.

[Jessica]

In school they also learn how to work with others and how to get over personality conflicts.

They do?

[MonkeyMomma]

Most homeschoolers are not raising losers who beg for handouts and can't spell a three letter word.

We read about a lot of the idiots here, but the average homeschooling mom is working very hard to give her kids the best possible education, and in many cases succeeding. I homeschooled and was very successful. I had to stop because of life circumstances, but I still look back on it fondly and miss it.

Word.

There are many things I can say about my life as a child, but I think I turned out both decent and productive. Most days, anyway.

[puddle]

Also my defination of success is being able to live on your own in your mid twenties, pay your bills and not beg me for handouts.

Are you seriously implying that homeschooling results in children who can't pay their bills and have to beg??

[BogoPogo1]

They do?

Since we're all about opinions in this thread, my opinion is that there would be endless prosecutions and lawsuits if people had to "work with others and get over personality conflicts" in the workplace like students have to in schools.

[Jessica]

Are you seriously implying that homeschooling results in children who can't pay their bills and have to beg??

I'm reminded of my friend's homeschooled daughter who is 19 and makes $200 an hour as a professional harp player. Meanwhile almost everyone I graduated with is working at Starbucks or the movie theatre for minimum wage. ;)

[ilovetchotchkes]

In school they also learn how to work with others and how to get over personality conflicts.

Oh really? you mean like the ones who stole my violin, broke same violin (it was my great grandfather's). Slammed my hands in locker doors, sexually harassed me, punched me, called me names, I was the butt of every. single. joke. I had one, singular ONE friend. I was called "retard" because i didn't make fun of the special ed kids, so it was concluded that I must be "one of them". There was more, I just don't remember it, probably because I've blocked the memories.

I'd LOVE to put my kid in the middle of THAT rabble. /sarcasm. I have a college degree, and whatever skills I'm lacking especially with the higher math/sciences, the local community college has a program that at the age of 14+ homeschooled kids can take classes, and if they continue to do well, move on to college level classes if they pass the "homeschooling fellowship (sorry to use a fundie word but that's what its called)" classes.

Just to add too, the administration at the school i went to did NOTHING. I was supposed to "ignore" it. Yeah, ignore physical violence. That's a GREAT idea.

[Austin]

(tangent from another questionable blog.)

I am not opposed to home schooling, i just think that others, like educated teachers, can do it better than i can. It is also about teaching the child how to function without mom and dad there to think for them. In school they also learn how to work with others and how to get over personality conflicts. At home is where children learn to fight and make up.

I want my kids to do things without question but that is only because it will make my life easier. I want them to brush their teeth without question. I dont want them to do something that would be considered unethical or wrong without protest. My son is having issues with this concept and wont do anything he is told. The more independant my kids are, the happier I am. I am trying to raise successful people and if that means by your standard we are all heathens, so be it. Also my defination of success is being able to live on your own in your mid twenties, pay your bills and not beg me for handouts.

I take it that you're speaking of SODRT which is different than homeschooling, and I don't disagree with you. I am a huge advocate for public schools and believe in them as the heart of a community, but I have no problem with people who decide to educate their children at home and take it seriously, do a good job, and don't have 50 bazillion kids so they rarely "do school" or have the older siblings do most of it.

Most Americans cannot homeschool because of purely logistical reasons (such as both parents working), so for the small percentage (of all Americans, not of all homeschoolers) that do it and do it well, I say more power to them. The only ones I have problems with are the SODRT folks, and I took that the OP was referring to those as well, while possibly not knowing how we refer to them at FJ. See the bolded and underlined portion of her post. I think she was referring to the SODRT religious folks.

Also, for every horrendous anecdote about public schools, there is an anecdote for private schools and homeschooling. People should make their own choices and support the choices of others.

[uncreative]

My youngest brother and sister were homeschooled through jr. high, and it was perfect for them. They both ended up having a far better sense of self in high school than either myself or our other brother who struggled through public school jr. high. My totally unscientific opinion is that the homeschooled sibs were able to define themselves on their own terms--without worrying about how/if they were going to fit in with their peers. They still got a great education, though, and went back to public high school. And they weren't homeschooled out of fear or to isolate them from the world. They both had groups of really, really mean kids in their classes who made their lives hell.

[formergothardite]

I was homeschooled and so far seem to work well with others and can get over personality conflicts. I actually have an easier time than my public schooled husband, but I think that has more to do with personality.

[emmiedahl]

You can make a compelling argument against every type of schooling there is.

Public school: bullying, poor test scores, lack of electives in younger grades, science curricula held hostage by religious extremists

Private school: elitism, more bullying, overly rigid for some children's personalities, religious indoctrination in some cases, lack of consistent oversight

Homeschool: education completely dependent on the motivation and knowledge of the parent, lack of oversight

So, pick your poison and try to make the best of it. Don't knock other people's choices.

[ilovetchotchkes]

You can make a compelling argument against every type of schooling there is.

Public school: bullying, poor test scores, lack of electives in younger grades, science curricula held hostage by religious extremists

Private school: elitism, more bullying, overly rigid for some children's personalities, religious indoctrination in some cases, lack of consistent oversight

Homeschool: education completely dependent on the motivation and knowledge of the parent, lack of oversight

So, pick your poison and try to make the best of it. Don't knock other people's choices.

:) this is a great point. I can't afford private schools, and the bullying is really turning me off the public schools. I have one option left. But I also am not going to run a SDRT and stick my fingers in my ears and go "LA LA LA evolution NEVER HAPPENED"

[reds]

Are you seriously implying that homeschooling results in children who can't pay their bills and have to beg??

I am not implying that homeschool kids are the ones begging for handouts. I am saying anyone, home school, public school, private, alien-abducted when they were 6 and educated on the moon. Success to me means being able to pay your own bills. And for the other comment. Working at starbucks, the 7-11, mcDicks etc all count as part of the success if you are willing to do what you have to do to pay your bills.

I am also not implying that homeschool is a bad thing.

(tangent from another questionable blog.)

I am not opposed to home schooling, i just think that others, like educated teachers, can do it better than I can.

If my kid was being bullied or abused in the school system i would consider it. I just dont feel that I have the ability to do a proper job of it.

Oh really? you mean like the ones who stole my violin, broke same violin (it was my great grandfather's). Slammed my hands in locker doors, sexually harassed me, punched me, called me names, I was the butt of every. single. joke. I had one, singular ONE friend. I was called "retard" because i didn't make fun of the special ed kids, so it was concluded that I must be "one of them". There was more, I just don't remember it, probably because I've blocked the memories.

Just to add too, the administration at the school i went to did NOTHING. I was supposed to "ignore" it. Yeah, ignore physical violence. That's a GREAT idea.

Yeah, like the ones who called me fat, hid my stuff, egged my house on a yearly basis, got it so that kids in younger grades bullied me too. I went through it too. Your not the only one. If i stood up for myself, i was the one in trouble. I didnt ask to be homeschooled and my parents ignored it. I just wanted to transfer schools and start over somewhere else but that was a waste of their, my parents, time. So lets talk bullying.

[Austin]

I think it's important to remember that our children are not us. Just because we had this or that terrible experience in (pick-your-poison), that has nothing to do with our children. That was presumably 20 or 30 years prior, and more often than not, in another location. That's not to say that our personal experiences should not come into play; certainly they should. But it should never be, "Well, I got bullied [20 years ago], so I just know my kid will, too, so I'm going to do (pick your poison)." Sorry, it's just a pet peeve of mine when people seem like they're superimposing their issues onto their kids.

Another note: if your kids are around other kids at all, there will be conflicts. Unless you keep your kid locked up in the house, they are probably going to be teased/kicked/punched at some point or another. It's how the parent handles that situation that is important, not what method of education is chosen.

[Jessica]

Working at starbucks, the 7-11, mcDicks etc all count as part of the success if you are willing to do what you have to do to pay your bills.

I am also not implying that homeschool is a bad thing.

You sort of did imply it when you made it sound like homeschooled kids never have an independent thought or are begging for handouts. I know that wasn't your intention but it did come across that way.

As for my ex-class mates, I made that comment because you said you want your kids to be successfull, which is why you don't homeschool. Those kids I mentioned are living at home with their parents after being in their own apartments because they don't know how to manage money and got evicted because they blew all their rent money on the latest iGadget.

[clibbyjo]

They do?

LOL, I am laughing my ass off. Yesterday, a girl who was just pulled out of school last week came to our HOMESCHOOL PLAYGROUP and kicked my 9 year old in the head and stomach because she is a psycho bully. I have has 3 cases of bullying in 10 years and all of them were with kids previously in school.But of course, YOU would know better.

My 15 year old homeschooled son starts COLLEGE this summer.What will yours be doing? He was also offered a 70K a year job programming computers last fall out of state, but he is 15 and cannot travel yet.

Go back in your hole and stop acting like you have an opinion on homeschooling. You know nothing and your stupidity is pissing me off.

[AmyP]

I think it's important to remember that our children are not us. Just because we had this or that terrible experience in (pick-your-poison), that has nothing to do with our children. That was presumably 20 or 30 years prior, and more often than not, in another location. That's not to say that our personal experiences should not come into play; certainly they should. But it should never be, "Well, I got bullied [20 years ago], so I just know my kid will, too, so I'm going to do (pick your poison)." Sorry, it's just a pet peeve of mine when people seem like they're superimposing their issues onto their kids.

Another note: if your kids are around other kids at all, there will be conflicts. Unless you keep your kid locked up in the house, they are probably going to be teased/kicked/punched at some point or another. It's how the parent handles that situation that is important, not what method of education is chosen.

When you homeschool you do have more control, you can decide which life lessons your child is ready to learn. My daughter had some "mean girl" trouble in her homeschool group. I chose to leave her in the group and we talked about it and learned from it. If the situation had been emotional or physical bullying, rather than cliquish behaviour, I could have pulled her out and let her grow up a bit before she had to deal with bullying. Some third graders might be able to stand up to bullying, others are really damaged by it, but might be ready in the 5th grade. Kids don't all grow up at the same rate, homeschooling gives you some control over that.

[AmyP]

LOL, I am laughing my ass off. Yesterday, a girl who was just pulled out of school last week came to our HOMESCHOOL PLAYGROUP and kicked my 9 year old in the head and stomach because she is a psycho bully. I have has 3 cases of bullying in 10 years and all of them were with kids previously in school.But of course, YOU would know better.

My 15 year old homeschooled son starts COLLEGE this summer.What will yours be doing? He was also offered a 70K a year job programming computers last fall out of state, but he is 15 and cannot travel yet.

Go back in your hole and stop acting like you have an opinion on homeschooling. You know nothing and your stupidity is pissing me off.

THIS!!!! The speshul snowflakes who were so wronged by public school, so their parents pulled them out and dumped them into a homeschool group to terrorize your kids!!!

[Austin]

When you homeschool you do have more control, you can decide which life lessons your child is ready to learn. My daughter had some "mean girl" trouble in her homeschool group. I chose to leave her in the group and we talked about it and learned from it. If the situation had been emotional or physical bullying, rather than cliquish behaviour, I could have pulled her out and let her grow up a bit before she had to deal with bullying. Some third graders might be able to stand up to bullying, others are really damaged by it, but might be ready in the 5th grade. Kids don't all grow up at the same rate, homeschooling gives you some control over that.

I don't doubt that you had some control over the situation, but it is also not safe to assume that public school parents have "no control" or an unacceptable level of control.

Why does it have to be this or that is best? Everyone should do what they think is best for their child. Why does everyone else need to validate their choices?

LOL, I am laughing my ass off. Yesterday, a girl who was just pulled out of school last week came to our HOMESCHOOL PLAYGROUP and kicked my 9 year old in the head and stomach because she is a psycho bully. I have has 3 cases of bullying in 10 years and all of them were with kids previously in school.But of course, YOU would know better.

My 15 year old homeschooled son starts COLLEGE this summer.What will yours be doing? He was also offered a 70K a year job programming computers last fall out of state, but he is 15 and cannot travel yet.

Are you somehow suggesting that the three bulliers you've experienced in homeschooling situations are bulliers or "psychos" because they have at some point attended school? And you know what, when my kids were 15 years old, they were sophomores in high school, which was perfectly appropriate for them. If your kid is doing something different, then great! Why the defensiveness?

[clibbyjo]

I don't doubt that you had some control over the situation, but it is also not safe to assume that public school parents have "no control" or an unacceptable level of control.

Why does it have to be this or that is best? Everyone should do what they think is best for their child. Why does everyone else need to validate their choices?

Are you somehow suggesting that the three bulliers you've experienced in homeschooling situations are bulliers or "sociopaths" because they have at some point attended school? And you know what, when my kids were 15 years old, they were sophomores in high school, which was perfectly appropriate for them. If your kid is doing something different, then great! Why the defensiveness?

The defensiveness is because my kid was beaten up yesterday and I am not recovered from it.No, I am not saying the bulliers are because they were in school, I quoted the post where she says kids in school learn how to handle conflict and that is not always true as a school girl beat up my son. If she knew better, why would she walk in a playgroup(she is 11 years old BTW) and just go to town on my son?(no,she was not provoked in anyway, she is just a bully and another parent saw this whole thing go down. She has had it in for my son for years) Also because the above posts are saying(to me as a homeschooler) that homeschoolers are not going to amount to anything and we know I am not going to stand for that. When a new poster(8 posts I believe) comes in here throwing punches that homeschoolers suck I am not going to let that slide. They are only seeing that fail side of homeschooling and I have to let it be shown WE are not like them.

[Austin]

I didn't read her post the same way you did. Because she referred to her heathen self or something to that affect in her post, presumably talking to the fundie in question, I took it that she was referring to SODRTs, not excellent homeschoolers like you and others.

[Fundilicious]

Both my husband and I are (well I should say were in my case as I now stay home with our two children) public school teachers. While not all public schools are bad, many are a joke. Where my husband works (middle school) it is literally a handful of his students (in his classroom alone) that are daily suspended or expelled for drugs or fighting. Last year he also had a child arrested for child pornography on his phone.

To say the least, public school isn't exactly creating outstanding citizens. Though in my honest opinion a lot of this stems from the child's home life and parenting. But children feed off of each other. Once it becomes the cool thing to act like this, suddenly they all want to do it. For example, my husband tells me the new fun thing to do is for girls to punch each other. Like hard-core, black eye punching. And not because they hate each other, because they think this is fun. *sigh*

This amongst other things have my husband and I highly considering me staying home and homeschooling once our children reach grade school. I am a teacher and have taught, so I do feel qualified. But I do feel those who aren't certified teachers can be highly qualified in teaching their children as well. Yet some, case in point the Duggars, really don't do an outstanding job. But at this point I wouldn't say the public school is better then homeschooling.

*Edited for spelling

[clibbyjo]

I didn't read her post the same way you did. Because she referred to her heathen self or something to that affect in her post, presumably talking to the fundie in question, I took it that she was referring to SODRTs, not excellent homeschoolers like you and others.

I am a bit on edge today with this bully issue and how it is effecting my son and the people in my group. Everyone is freaked over this real life situation and its a day of calls and e-mails .This post set off stars for me as you can see why. Forgive me if I am over dramatic today. Between the bully and a sick husband complaining non stop I am losing it. Newly off the lexapro is making it difficult to cope.

[CynicMom]

With homeschooling you get out of it what you put into it. There's a HUGE variation in expected skills and results. The same is true of public schools. How do you tell the good public schools from the "bad"? It's all class-based. Look at the school boundaries and select a school with little-to-no poor kids in it. Look at the online statistics for your state and look for ones with a very low free-reduced-lunch %. I frikken guarantee that those are the public schools with excellent test scores, an anti-bullying program, and state awards.

So anyway, not all public schools are horrible. Just because you had terrible problems doesn't mean your children will. Particularly since your children have parents who are aware of the issues and prepared to take whatever steps are necessary.