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JWs and disfellowshipping


feministxtian

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My first acute care job I had to witness a woman, who initially accepted and signed the consent to get blood, get bullied into NOT taking the transfusion or she would be shunned.  The elders came into her room, made us leave and that was all she wrote.  Due to her condition, they were only given a few minutes with her alone before we had to go back in.  She was bleeding out  and they were bullying her.  She kept saying "I don't want to die" but they did their job, she was convinced to not take the transfusion.  

We had to transfer to another hospital as we were not equipped to handle the bleed.  She did die.  And I am still angry to this day that they took away her right to choose.  I've seen to many people hurt by JW's.  

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11 minutes ago, CelticGoddess said:

My first acute care job I had to witness a woman, who initially accepted and signed the consent to get blood, get bullied into NOT taking the transfusion or she would be shunned.  The elders came into her room, made us leave and that was all she wrote.  Due to her condition, they were only given a few minutes with her alone before we had to go back in.  She was bleeding out  and they were bullying her.  She kept saying "I don't want to die" but they did their job, she was convinced to not take the transfusion.  

We had to transfer to another hospital as we were not equipped to handle the bleed.  She did die.  And I am still angry to this day that they took away her right to choose.  I've seen to many people hurt by JW's.  

This is so incredibly sad, i don’t even have words. It makes me so angry to hear about this poor woman! Thank you for sharing! 

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Does anyone else remember that murder case about the couple who were murdered by the husband's JW family because they left the religion? I saw the case covered on one of those ID shows.
 

The story linked is incredibly sad. I've read some sad stories on ex-JW forums and blogs. I had a friend in college whose brother was somehow recruited by the JWs. He joined and totally turned against his family. The last time I saw this friend was four years ago and she said her brother was talking to their grandmother and some aunts and uncles.

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This hits home for us because my stepdaughters were raised as JWs. Both of them have left and I'm fairly sure one was probably disfellowshipped (I think she got baptized as a JW). Their mother seems to keep her distance from them because not only are they not JWs, they're both mainstream Christians now. 

We missed the girls' growing up years because of their mother and the religion...now their mother is missing the joy of grandma-hood because of the religion. I'm happy to say we have a pretty good relationship with the girls now but man...that's some fucked up religious shit. 

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I lurk a lot and rarely post so Hello to all!  I know someone who is JW who married at 19 pretty quickly to another 19 year old. They were married just over a year and are now divorced! I still haven't got the story (don't know her well enough to ask, friends on facebook and in a class only ) but I have seen him out with some guys that seem to be more than "friendly" but I am not 100% ... he seems to be in good standing with the church so I figure he can't be gay... right?

She won't perform in anything that is holiday related and attends JW conferences etc... but then she celebrated a cousins birthday recently so I am really confused as to how that works with her religion.. any thoughts? I believe her father is fairly high up in the church

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47 minutes ago, Paige1 said:

I lurk a lot and rarely post so Hello to all!  I know someone who is JW who married at 19 pretty quickly to another 19 year old. They were married just over a year and are now divorced! I still haven't got the story (don't know her well enough to ask, friends on facebook and in a class only ) but I have seen him out with some guys that seem to be more than "friendly" but I am not 100% ... he seems to be in good standing with the church so I figure he can't be gay... right?

She won't perform in anything that is holiday related and attends JW conferences etc... but then she celebrated a cousins birthday recently so I am really confused as to how that works with her religion.. any thoughts? I believe her father is fairly high up in the church

It doesn't work with her religion, they do not observe birthdays. Well, they are not supposed to. Although every JW I've ever known says that they don't - but they generally seem to be the first in line at the food if it's a potluck party.  I have known several people who were members of a JW church, maybe they are not all like that but the ones I have known seem to be very hypocritical.  As far as the exhusband of the person you know - is he maybe gay and still closeted?

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2 minutes ago, Briefly said:

It doesn't work with her religion, they do not observe birthdays. Well, they are not supposed to. Although every JW I've ever known says that they don't - but they generally seem to be the first in line at the food if it's a potluck party.  I have known several people who were members of a JW church, maybe they are not all like that but the ones I have known seem to be very hypocritical.  As far as the exhusband of the person you know - is he maybe gay and still closeted?

My experience has been the opposite. They hold onto their beliefs to an extreme. No celebrating Read Across America Day, for instance, because it's Dr. Seuss' birthday. 

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I abhor the indoctrination of children. And, as an atheist, I wish that people who are disfellowshipped would realize that it is absolutely meaningless.  But, thanks to their upbringing, their lives are completely intertwined with their religion and they are isolated and lonely and confused. I will forever feel that this type of indoctrination borders on criminal.  I will continue to wish that people with strong religious ideologies would leave their children to decide for themselves. I understand that parents think they are saving their kids. But, from my viewpoint of there being no god, no heaven, no afterlife, it is so frustrating to see so many people’s lives destroyed by it. Suicide.  Because a church shunned them. It is an abomination.

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Out of all the religious freakshows, travelling in pairs, who have tried to impose their crap on me the I believe the JWs have been the worst.  Two of them once pounded on my door (they heard the TV), started lecturing me when I made the mistake of opening it, then tried to block me from closing the door.  They got a bunch of choice words followed by a warning and a slammed door in their faces.  They didn't come back.

I avoid Scientologists like the plague (they occasionally lurk in my area but are recognizable) and occasionally get chatted up by young Mormons...who at least are polite.  There are also the intermittent Evangelicals but I've gotten pretty good at shutting down their witnessing, and they're also generally polite.

Nothing like a rude zealot taking a grab at your soul.  Though I guess if I converted to JW then abandoned the faith they'd make a point of avoiding me.

 

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13 hours ago, Dandruff said:

[...]I guess if I converted to JW then abandoned the faith they'd make a point of avoiding me.

 

You’re a genius!

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The JW's that troll my neighborhood, aren't that bad. They just knock on the door, give me a couple of pamphlets, and then are on their way. The entire interaction, lasts all of two minutes, and is painless. Though if I'm in a chatty mood, I tend to bug THEM, talking about the weather and whatnot (just the other day they stopped by, and the woman had on a pair of really cute shoes, so I complimented them, and asked her where she got them). As an added bonus, they only hit our neighborhood, once or twice a year.

Since they aren't overly obnoxious, they don't really bother me. While I know the JW's have some kooky beliefs, I know their door-to-door thing, is one of the aforementioned kooky beliefs. 

That said, could you imagine living in Minneapolis, and having Prince knock on your door. That would have been WILD, even though he probably would have only talked about Jesus stuff.

 

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To have Prince come and knock on my door, I might have invited him in, taken the pamphlets, and asked a LOT of questions. I LOVE Prince...

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16 hours ago, Briefly said:

It doesn't work with her religion, they do not observe birthdays. Well, they are not supposed to. Although every JW I've ever known says that they don't - but they generally seem to be the first in line at the food if it's a potluck party.

I used to work at a place where numerous JWs were employed. We'd usually sing happy birthday to non-JWs, have cake, and after we cleaned up all the birthday paraphernalia we'd let the JWs know there was free cake in the break room. Some would come take a slice of cake but they would never participate in the actual celebration.

There was a lot of door-to-door JW activity in the neighborhood I grew up in, along with some fundie/fundie-lite churches. Annoyed my parents to no end! I've also known some people who left and/or were disfellowshipped, and some of the things they dealt with after were just so horrible and sad.

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1 hour ago, SnazzyNazzy said:

That said, could you imagine living in Minneapolis, and having Prince knock on your door. That would have been WILD, even though he probably would have only talked about Jesus stuff.

The last time I opened the door to a pair of JWs, one of them was a local newscaster. It wasn't a "fangirl" situation, but I don't think I heard a word his partner said, because I kept staring at him. It was just really weird, seeing a 2 dimensional person in 3D! :pb_lol:

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35 minutes ago, December said:

I used to work at a place where numerous JWs were employed. We'd usually sing happy birthday to non-JWs, have cake, and after we cleaned up all the birthday paraphernalia we'd let the JWs know there was free cake in the break room. Some would come take a slice of cake but they would never participate in the actual celebration.

I've worked with two different JWs before who refused cake, even the next day, if it was "birthday cake". Even if it was just a plain chocolate cake, if it came in for a birthday, they wouldn't touch it. 

I've only known a few JWs personally, and it was quite a range of people. A very intelligent young black man who implied he was "in the doghouse" for asking too many (well researched) questions rather than blindly following what the elders said, a very quiet and polite middle-aged Ecuadorian man, and my sister's white right-wing in-laws who are off their rockers in many ways (who I haven't seen since they got offended that my sis didn't spend every minute with them when they invited themselves and their yippy chihuahua into her no-pets house for the weekend, and her hubby took her side). I think the crazy has nothing to do with the in-laws being JWs, but I'm sure it isn't helping them.

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One of my aunts by marriage was born and raised American Baptist, married my uncle (who went to the same church), and raised her kids in that church. Then her parents and siblings became JWs, and were pissed at her because she refused to convert along with them.

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I had some JWs come to the door the other day.  I just yelled through the door, it has a window, “not interested!” and waved them away. They waved back and left. The secret is not opening the door, I think.  They don’t give up so easily once you open the door. 

I have a friend that is JW.  She told me they take notes when they are out, to share with others in their church. If you appear to be receptive in any way, they release the hounds. 

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In all the years in our house, the JWs only come by about once a year.  The couples are usually a man and a woman, 60+  and black.  They are always very nice, but the nanosecond I say I'm a practicing Catholic they quickly say goodbye and leave -- without leaving any pamphlets. Never the same couples twice.

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47 minutes ago, ChunkyBarbie said:

I had some JWs come to the door the other day.  I just yelled through the door, it has a window, “not interested!” and waved them away. They waved back and left. The secret is not opening the door, I think.  They don’t give up so easily once you open the door. 

I have a friend that is JW.  She told me they take notes when they are out, to share with others in their church. If you appear to be receptive in any way, they release the hounds. 

Yep that is totally true. People think they are being nice by taking the literature, but just don’t. Don’t ask questions, don’t engage. People also think they are being funny by engaging in questions or trying to “trick” the Witnesses into an argument/defensive. It’s not funny, and they use that to assume you’d be open to learning new information. 

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21 hours ago, Briefly said:

It doesn't work with her religion, they do not observe birthdays. Well, they are not supposed to. Although every JW I've ever known says that they don't - but they generally seem to be the first in line at the food if it's a potluck party.  I have known several people who were members of a JW church, maybe they are not all like that but the ones I have known seem to be very hypocritical.  As far as the exhusband of the person you know - is he maybe gay and still closeted?

Ugh, a family member married into this disgusting  cult.   So many things irritate  me but one that stands out is like the pot luck  thing.   He and his wife wouldn't come to Thanksgiving, but they sure would be there the next day to eat all the leftovers and tell everyone who raised an eyebrow that it was fine because they were just eating food and not celebrating on the holiday.   Bullsh*t.  This subject just boils my blood. 

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I've had a variety of JW experiences at work, both JWS who lied to the church and their families and got transfusions and swore us to secrecy and those who didn't and died. Patients who weren't JWs, but when you are unconscious and your JW sister calls the shots, she's gonna have the elders pray for you and skip the blood products. They always bring us a crap ton of blood alternative propaganda in paperwork and VHS tapes (how do I watch those?) which we politely drop in a drawer until they leave. The ones who come to my door aren't pushy, which is good because I would accuse them of murdering a maternity patient who died of a post partum hemorrhage when I was still in clinicals. Left her husband with a newborn.

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My JW friend said the only holidays they celebrate are Thanksgiving and New Years. Her kids played baseball from toddler through high school, and they'd just stand there for the pledge and national anthem. 

My stepdad's first wife converted and he didn't. He had to take down the Christmas lights that the kids asked him to put up because she was pissed off about it. 

When they come here, they are usually looking for Spanish speaking people. Because we're behind a gate they'll not usually come in. Once they did and I had pneumonia, felt like hell, and said can't you read? It says no soliciting and deliveries only. The man said, well the word of God isn't soliciting. I croaked out get thee behind me satan and slammed the doors.

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My brother used to have a huge dog that didn’t like strangers. He had a couple Beware of Dog, No Trespassing signs on his gate, once he caught a JW man jiggling the gate and calling the dog, I guess to see if the dog would let him in or not. My brother told him he was a fool and gambling with his life. The man didn’t seem to care. Luckily, my brother’s dog was in the house. 

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I hate the fact that they would rather see family members including children die than receive any blood transfusions or transplants. My former neighbour, who passed away a few years ago, had multiple kidney transplants and once told JW people that if was up to them he wouldn't be here.

I once answered the door to them the morning after I had a house party and I was still a bit drunk it scared them off. 

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