JWs and disfellowshipping

[smittykins]

Every so often, the Awake! magazine would have a cover of a bunch of young people’s photos along with an article celebrating that they “chose Jehovah” over a blood transfusion. 

[nokidsmom]

Just came back from traveling and Mr. No who gathered up the mail, also included the Easter invite to services left by the JWs who have gone back to prowling the neighborhood again.  A few years ago, he made the mistake of opening the door once and engaging them, which prompted a number of returns, though this just seems to have been left as a general visit to the neighborhood again.

Sad that someone refuses life saving measures and is in fact bullied into by members of their faith into doing so.    Really does piss me off.  

Years ago I worked with a JW at my current workplace.  Nice person, but she would not participate in any celebrations: Christmas, birthdays, etc.  When she left the company to move to another state, her boss had to talk her into going to her own goodbye party.  She did it because her boss emphasized it was in recognition of her own hard work rather then some frivolous thing.

 

[Terrie]

I forget where I ran across it, but I remember a JW comment that said the reason they can have rare steaks, etc, but not blood transfusions was basically, It's like alcohol. Just because you drink it, would you inject it into your veins? And all I could think was "If I had anti-freeze poisoning, yes, because that's the treatment!"

[SilverBeach]

I think current JW teaching is that people can follow their own conscience about the "blood issue". The truth has changed many times on many things with them.

Recently, the Watchtower Society sold many of its properties in New York. The profits were astounding. The WS discouraged members from buying homes or making long term committments like college educations, because "this system of things" was going to end. Hypocrisy much? 

I know people who were severely hurt by the shunning, and who also passed up full college scholarships because the WS said to. It is a high-control, intrusive, brainwashing organization. Look up Franz (forgot his first name) a former member of the governing body and a member for many decades. He wrote a tell all after leaving. You'll find the real truth in his book. Horrible organization.

 

[YoshiCat]

I used to have a friend who was raised JW. She had been disfellowshiped for having premarital sex. One of her friends told the elders, so she was called before the elders and questiioned about her sex life (she was only 19/20 when this happened).

When you've been disfellowshipped, you're expected to continue to attend services and other events, while everyone ignores you. You do this to prove you're sorry and want back in. At some point, the elders will hopefully decide you're worthy to be spoken to again. She did that because it was so important to her mother and was eventually let back in. She pretty much dropped out after that, only gong to occasional events at her mother's request.

They all spy on each other and report "offenses" to the elders, it's something you're supposed to do. I'm sure that makes for great and trusting relationships between members. 

JWs are not supposed to interact with people who are not JWs (or minimize interaction as much as possible). I went with her to her parents house several times and her mother would barely say "hi" then proceed to ignore me. Her father was friendly and talked to me in a normal way. A couple of times she dragged me along to lunch with her mother and her mother would ignore me as we sat at the same table. It was weird and creepy. I would look right at her and ask her questions, politeness apparently compelled her to give a brief answer, but she'd turn her head away from me as she spoke. 

My friend and her younger brother did not follow the religion at all. They were happy to celebrate birthdays and Christmas. Her brother married a woman who had been raised Catholic and my friend's parents did not attend the wedding. When her brother and his wife had a baby, my friend's mom was losing her mind over the thought of the baby being baptized. She harranged them constantly and frequently reminded her son that if she found out the baby had been baptized, she would never speak to them again. And she told my friend that if she knew the baby had been baptized and didn't tell her, she wouldn't speak to her anymore either.

I'm not surprised that my friend and her brother left the JWs the minute  they turned 18. I met a few of her childhood friends from the Kingdom Hall and they had left as well. 

 

[melon]

On 3/20/2018 at 11:05 AM, Four is Enough said:

To have Prince come and knock on my door, I might have invited him in, taken the pamphlets, and asked a LOT of questions. I LOVE Prince...

He used to go out in Field Service(door to door).I used to "study" with JWs.One of my brothers is one.He remains friendly with us,but are always trying to get to attend meetings..or send pamphlets.He and his wife are devout.There is a No Soliciting sign in my neighborhood,I have only had them knock on the door,once.

My brother(the JW) and I don't live in the same state.

[YoshiCat]

7 minutes ago, Terrie said:

I forget where I ran across it, but I remember a JW comment that said the reason they can have rare steaks, etc, but not blood transfusions was basically, It's like alcohol. Just because you drink it, would you inject it into your veins? And all I could think was "If I had anti-freeze poisoning, yes, because that's the treatment!"

I was told by a JW that if you take someone else's blood into your body, you take in all of their sins as well. If that's the "logic," then eating a rare streak isn't a problem. I'm guessing cows don't sin and you're not directly mixing their blood with yours. Your digestgive system can remove all the cow sins. 

[feministxtian]

11 minutes ago, SilverBeach said:

I know people who were severely hurt by the shunning, and who also passed up full college scholarships because the WS said to. It is a high-control, intrusive, brainwashing organization. Look up Franz (forgot his first name) a former member of the governing body and a member for many decades. He wrote a tell all after leaving. You'll find the real truth in his book. Horrible organization.

 

My stepdaughters lost out on scholarships because of their crazy-ass JW mother. They were like #3 and #4 in their graduating class and as all the other honor society kids stood as their names were announced for scholarships, they just sat there. I'm happy to say that the girls left and followed their hearts. One is an RN who is working towards her BSN (i don't know if she's finished yet) and the other is working towards a Criminal Justice degree. One of the girls left the JWs at about 20, she was dating a young man who was a Christian. I know the religion thing caused some friction between them until she left the JWs. The other one ended up marrying a JW boy and that was an utter disaster, he was an abusive prick and she got smart and left him and the JWs about 18 months later. Neither one has much to do with their mother...it's an amalgamation of the JW thing and the fact that their mother is just a bitch. 

[melon]

They aren't supposed to eat raw meat,extremely rare meat,and foods made with blood products.They believe to" abstain from blood" is to bless them,somehow.They are allowed saline,dextrose,or ringers solution.

[smittykins]

I always wondered how Michael Jackson was able to have a relationship with his mother after leaving the JWs, plus the fact that she reportedly is raising his children in the religion(which I've read he did not want).

[Inky]

5 hours ago, smittykins said:

I always wondered how Michael Jackson was able to have a relationship with his mother after leaving the JWs, plus the fact that she reportedly is raising his children in the religion(which I've read he did not want).

Cults always seem to have "special rules" for celebrities.

[Briefly]

5 hours ago, smittykins said:

I always wondered how Michael Jackson was able to have a relationship with his mother after leaving the JWs, plus the fact that she reportedly is raising his children in the religion(which I've read he did not want).

Those kids must have been very confused, they lost their father and then there was some sort of a custody issue between their grandmother and I think one of their uncles. At least the older two are adults now and I'm not sure about the younger one. But I have heard that the daughter is possibly gay, I'm wondering if that is going to cause issues between her and her grandmother. It seems like I read somewhere that the kids were not following the JW religion.

[muggleborn]

Hi everyone.

I have been lurking here for years but this topic hit close to home so I thought I would finally make an account. I'm not sure why I'm writing this I guess I just want someone to listen.

I was raised JW starting at around 10 years old. My family started taking the study and I was made to. I love to read so I took at it studying a book not realizing it would change our life.  I am not going to get into the details but I never got baptized, and neither did my family at the time.  However they did eventually and I did not as I was no longer living under my parents roof.  

I just want to tell you that I am married and another religion and I still struggle with the psychological damage this religion has inflicted on me. My family over ride anything I have to say and try to make me follow what they believe. It's exhausting and I live in fear of them finding out that I celebrate holidays etc. I love my family so much and I just don't want to lose them. I live in a prison because of this religion. 

[JMarie]

On 3/26/2018 at 3:16 PM, smittykins said:

I always wondered how Michael Jackson was able to have a relationship with his mother after leaving the JWs, plus the fact that she reportedly is raising his children in the religion(which I've read he did not want).

I've always thought it was odd the Jackson 5 did a cover of Santa Claus Is Coming To Town when, as JW, they didn't celebrate Christmas.

[AliceInFundyland]

51 minutes ago, muggleborn said:

Hi everyone.

I have been lurking here for years but this topic hit close to home so I thought I would finally make an account. I'm not sure why I'm writing this I guess I just want someone to listen.

I was raised JW starting at around 10 years old. My family started taking the study and I was made to. I love to read so I took at it studying a book not realizing it would change our life.  I am not going to get into the details but I never got baptized, and neither did my family at the time.  However they did eventually and I did not as I was no longer living under my parents roof.  

I just want to tell you that I am married and another religion and I still struggle with the psychological damage this religion has inflicted on me. My family over ride anything I have to say and try to make me follow what they believe. It's exhausting and I live in fear of them finding out that I celebrate holidays etc. I love my family so much and I just don't want to lose them. I live in a prison because of this religion. 

Hello,

As you no doubt know, as a longtime reader, you're not alone here! So many of us have suffered scars from constraints of religion. Thanks for sharing and much love to you. I hope you feel welcome 

[Carol]

When I was growing up we'd occasionally get visits from JW's.  We had this big circular driveway and we'd see them crawl down the drive at a snail's pace and tentatively approach our house like they were scared to death about what they were doing.

Well, I had 8 brothers and sisters and we lived on top of a huge hill and mostly did everything we could to not mind our parents.  So my dad bought an old lumber mill buzzer that was used to end/begin shifts, announce lunchtime, etc.  It was loud.  Very LOUD, and we all had our own buzz to know to come home.

So, one Sunday, here come the JW's and my sister and I were the only ones home.  We didn't want to answer the door and hear their spiel, we had lots better things to do.  I can't remember if it was my sister or me that came up with the idea of hitting the be buzzer as soon as they stopped in front of our house...but it was genius.  I've never seen a car burn rubber like that.  They took off, going 50, took the turn on two wheels and we never saw them again*.

 

*The last line may be somewhat embellished.

[Beermeet]

On 3/26/2018 at 12:16 PM, smittykins said:

I always wondered how Michael Jackson was able to have a relationship with his mother after leaving the JWs, plus the fact that she reportedly is raising his children in the religion(which I've read he did not want).

Huh.  I remember reading that MJ did want a JW religious upbringing for the kids.  Said something about how JW are the most bible accurate and true.  I could totally be wrong but, I swear he said that.  Maybe in a "if" the kids had religion in their lives way.

Something funny happened last time they ( not JW or Mormons, idk maybe IFB?  They looked like them) came around.  They were blanketing the neighborhood pretty regularly and rolled up on me sunning myself ( I was in a tank and loose sweat pants, just got done dying my hair.  It was 1 pm and no one else was home, I cracked a day beer!  It was rare and delightful).  So, I'm being polite and making with the small talk with one woman while the other is honing in on something in my back yard.  Rudely even.  Really being nosey.  I realized it was my witchy wind chime with pentacle.  Then, I noticed her noticing the pentacle wind chime in my kitchen window.  She's clearly uncomfortable and the other lady is small talking away.  I'm laughing inside!  They stopped coming around after that.  So, here's a tip: get a pentacle wind chime to ward off the crazies.  Lol!

[Hane]

A friend who once attended JW services with her JW husband told me that the no-transfusion reasoning was that “nobody knows what part of your body your soul is in, and since blood is part of your body, a transfusion could mean putting part of a soul into someone else’s body.” WTF?

[VVV]

29 minutes ago, Hane said:

A friend who once attended JW services with her JW husband told me that the no-transfusion reasoning was that “nobody knows what part of your body your soul is in, and since blood is part of your body, a transfusion could mean putting part of a soul into someone else’s body.” WTF?

In that case, JWs should also avoid sex.

[Hane]

@VVV FTW!!!!!

[SilverBeach]

1 hour ago, Hane said:

A friend who once attended JW services with her JW husband told me that the no-transfusion reasoning was that “nobody knows what part of your body your soul is in, and since blood is part of your body, a transfusion could mean putting part of a soul into someone else’s body.” WTF?

No, it's actually the old testament prohibition on "eating" blood wherein transfusing is equated with eating. I studied with them because the disfellowshipped dude I was dating a long time ago had a mother who wouldn't take no for an answer. She took it upon herself to explain what fornication meant. I was 25. Nice lady, but that was nervy. They can be arrogant which is justified in their eyes because of their zeal for jehovah. Fornication didn't mean what she thought it did anyway.

[Shiny]

3 hours ago, Hane said:

A friend who once attended JW services with her JW husband told me that the no-transfusion reasoning was that “nobody knows what part of your body your soul is in, and since blood is part of your body, a transfusion could mean putting part of a soul into someone else’s body.” WTF?

I'm guessing he wasn't actually a Witness or at least, was very new. JWs don't believe in souls. 

[punkiepie]

When I was in nursing school, one semester away from graduating, one of my classmates was admitted to the hospital for a GI bleed and a hemoglobin of 2.8. The low end of normal is 12.8-13.3, so 2.8 is extremely critically low. The doctors of course wanted to transfuse her, but she refused because she was JW. Without a blood transfusion, it can take a very long time to rebuild a hgb that is so low- you give them Erythropoietin, but it takes a significant amount of time, whereas the effects of blood products are immediate. Because she refused transfusing, she had to stay in the hospital for much longer, and even once she was out, she was still very weak- consequently, she had to drop out of nursing school. All of that work and to just give it up, it has always baffled me. But the other side of me thinks that as a nurse, we have to advocate for what’s best for our patient, and maybe she would have struggled with advocating for things that were contra to her religious beliefs. So maybe it all worked out in the end. 

[Hane]

@Shiny, this is what his wife, who wasn’t an actual JW, told me. She might have been extrapolating from something she’d heard and misinterpreted it.

[Briefly]

23 hours ago, muggleborn said:

Hi everyone.

I have been lurking here for years but this topic hit close to home so I thought I would finally make an account. I'm not sure why I'm writing this I guess I just want someone to listen.

I was raised JW starting at around 10 years old. My family started taking the study and I was made to. I love to read so I took at it studying a book not realizing it would change our life.  I am not going to get into the details but I never got baptized, and neither did my family at the time.  However they did eventually and I did not as I was no longer living under my parents roof.  

I just want to tell you that I am married and another religion and I still struggle with the psychological damage this religion has inflicted on me. My family over ride anything I have to say and try to make me follow what they believe. It's exhausting and I live in fear of them finding out that I celebrate holidays etc. I love my family so much and I just don't want to lose them. I live in a prison because of this religion. 

I'm sorry you have such a bad situation with your family. Please stay with FJ, there are a lot of different viewpoints here and it's very educational, as well as enjoyable and a lot of very nice people.