Urine in Your Eye: Biblical Scholar (dot net)

[nelliebelle1197]

Someone brought this to the inKlEINations! thread I created after someone sweetly introduced us to the home-edumacatin' by Bible-copyin', homely dress wearin' Kleins in a Maxwell post. It's like 1986, or a Maxwell conference - SYNERGY! baby.

I can only skim the walls of text. You have to read the mom's educational philosophy for yourself. But don't skip the In the Kitchen links and I am graciously providing you with the USES OF URINE link

biblicalscholarship.net/urine.htm

Have fun, boys and girls.

[Jasmar]

From the top:

The simple subsistence farmer with God on his side and a strong ox to plow his fields is far better off than an educationally deceived, pleasure-loving American who sees the sun rise and says that it only appears to do so. Even professed Christians walk around with this heliocentric deception--in spite of scriptures such as Isaiah 38:8 that clearly teach that the sun moves. It is the earth that stands still.

Yes, she really did just say that we are deceived to believe that the earth revolves around the sun, and not the other way around. And she's not joking or utilizing hyperbole.

She explains later that the reason we bother teaching math (actually counting) is because Revelation 13 commands us to "COUNT the number of the beast." Huh? One of my daughters really loves the book of Revelation, and it's actually her favorite book of the Bible. We laughed ourselves silly at the notion that the only reason to teach counting is so we can (apparently literally) count the number of the beast...which doesn't even make sense with the text.

[NotALoserLikeYou]

Ok we have a thread going. I was going to start one. I'm on my phone so it's hard for me to post until I get a new computer charger, but basically she has one daughter and her husband runs an ifb church from their home. They're hardcore in case you couldn't tell!! The daughter would be 14 now and i did find that she and her mom ran a 5k last year for some wildlife refuge. I'll post links tomorrow.

The most amusing thing was because of her bible only training she started to speak in king James. As in she stopped playing with another kid and told her mom the reason was "he spake roughly with me"

[happy atheist]

Someone brought this to the inKlEINations! thread I created after someone sweetly introduced us to the home-edumacatin' by Bible-copyin', homely dress wearin' Kleins in a Maxwell post. It's like 1986, or a Maxwell conference - SYNERGY! baby.

I can only skim the walls of text. You have to read the mom's educational philosophy for yourself. But don't skip the In the Kitchen links and I am graciously providing you with the USES OF URINE link

biblicalscholarship.net/urine.htm

Have fun, boys and girls.

Sorry, but I'm not going to be squirting 15 droppers of urine down my throat to combat my allergies. :cray-cray:

Nor will I be swabbing it up my nose or on my eyelids.

This person must reek of pee all the time! Blah!

[NotALoserLikeYou]

I'm also having an Internet flashback remembering drinking urine was a fad like 10 yrs ago. I think a kid was taken away from their dad because of it. This lady probably read about it on some health blog and posted about it.

[Jasmar]

Jeez people, Dune was supposed to be fiction :ew:

Some more of my favorites:

Biblical Scholarship engenders and creates a strange, and peculiar atmosphere...(snip)

If there's any doubt to this assertion, she removes every last trace with alacrity.

A Biblical Scholarship is immensely satisfying--not deadly like the grievous scholarship learned in modern slaughterhouses of the mind called schools, colleges, and heretick seminaries where the hapless student must memorize the sterile, dead facts of man's finite mind and then parrot them back on a test.

My daughter and I started playing a game where you start with the phrase "Biblical Scolarship," then fill in the blank. Sadly, none of our attempts could match her own assertions for belly laughs. For example:

Biblical Scholarship can return a man to his greatness and power and rescue him from the soft-hands, piece-of-bread-from-watching-whores, you're-nothing-but-a-statistic manhood of today

is all hers.

And then there is the fact that she discourages teaching babies sign language because "Sign language is not English and the Bible is written in English."

Not Greek, not Hebrew. English.

[ILoveJellybeans]

Ewwwwwwwww I bet she stinks of pee.

This woman is insane. Babies can read? No, I certainly don't think all babies have the ability. Hers is probably just gifted, which is a real shame considering she is being raised to be a fundie, which means she will be at home popping out babies, cleaning and obeying her husband, instead of being able to realise her full potential, go to college and study whatever interests her, and do a job she really wants. Wow, this kid is really smart! An intelligent person, especially a woman, is wasted by being a fundie-she could cure cancer, be the first person to land on Mars, invent something amazing, make a scientific discovery....but no, her schooling was pretty much complete at 6.

•Teaching placemats (planets--earth is not a planet, money, states, etc.) at the table. Many things introduced, and learned, outside of a classroom with Genesis 1:1-2:7 leading the way.

What? The Earth is not a planet? I thought even fundies knew that the Earth is a planet.

[docmom]

Apparently deaf people are at a real disadvantage because they only learn sign language not English and thus cannot truly understand and reason when reading the KJV. I guess she doesn't understand that deaf people, even if they use sign language to communicate, still learn to read and write English.

Oh, and she really doesn't seem to like catholics much. Or spongebob. And Nazis were bad because they really were just gayz trying to recruit "menchildren" for purposes of pleasure. And they made up the holocaust.

I'm not a psychiatrist, but she sounds nuts.

[sparkles]

I fell down this rabbit hole last night. I…have no words. Mainly because she used them all. Along with the entire stockpile of exclamation points for the rest of human history.

[Firiel]

So, her schtick is to use the Bible for ALL teaching, not just theology.

Does the Bible talk about putting pee in your eye? I think I'd remember that part!

How does she use the Bible to teach modern history?! Or does it just not matter?!

Also, KJV-only. This is common enough that you'd think I'd be used to hearing about it, but it just pisses me off every single time.

EDIT: AND she's a geocentrist. Awesome. Wonder if she's a flat-earther too?

[slickcat79]

From the top:

Yes, she really did just say that we are deceived to believe that the earth revolves around the sun, and not the other way around. And she's not joking or utilizing hyperbole.

She explains later that the reason we bother teaching math (actually counting) is because Revelation 13 commands us to "COUNT the number of the beast." Huh? One of my daughters really loves the book of Revelation, and it's actually her favorite book of the Bible. We laughed ourselves silly at the notion that the only reason to teach counting is so we can (apparently literally) count the number of the beast...which doesn't even make sense with the text.

There are also scriptures which say the earth sits upon pillars. You'd think we would have noticed those by now...although I'm sure all those astronauts traveling into space were part of a giant conspiracy. After all, the bible never talks about space shuttles :?

[RosyDaisy]

EWWWWWW........The only place my urine goes is in the toilet then flushed.

[RachelB]

I fell down this rabbit hole last night. I…have no words. Mainly because she used them all. Along with the entire stockpile of exclamation points for the rest of human history.

Can one have a favorite geocentrist? If so, she is my favorite geocentrist. The :wtf: is so strong with this one.

What I do not get is-- If the 1611 KJV is so sufficient as to be the only divinely ordained learning tool, and the only source of knowledge you will ever need, why the hell has she written so much?

Can't she just post scans of the KJV's pages and call it a day?

Obviously, I'd be less alarmed if she didn't post things about her child's substandard education, and less hilarified if she didn't post things about the many uses of pee. But I do think her blog is not in keeping with her convictions about the sufficiency of God's Word.

[polecat]

Ewwwwwwwww I bet she stinks of pee.

This woman is insane. Babies can read? No, I certainly don't think all babies have the ability. Hers is probably just gifted, which is a real shame considering she is being raised to be a fundie, which means she will be at home popping out babies, cleaning and obeying her husband, instead of being able to realise her full potential, go to college and study whatever interests her, and do a job she really wants. Wow, this kid is really smart! An intelligent person, especially a woman, is wasted by being a fundie-she could cure cancer, be the first person to land on Mars, invent something amazing, make a scientific discovery....but no, her schooling was pretty much complete at 6.

What? The Earth is not a planet? I thought even fundies knew that the Earth is a planet.

WTH? What is it if it's not a planet?

This woman belongs to the church of JMSU, or, as we like to call it, Just Making Shit Up.

[polecat]

Sorry, but I'm not going to be squirting 15 droppers of urine down my throat to combat my allergies. :cray-cray:

Nor will I be swabbing it up my nose or on my eyelids.

This person must reek of pee all the time! Blah!

After reading that whole stupid treatise, I suspect that chick has a urine fetish.

[freejingerbeth]

Sun worship is not dead, it has just taken on more sophisticated forms. I've seen poetry by one of the early heliocentrists actually magnifying the sun (I read it in "Geocentricity" by Dr. Gerardus Bouw--Dr. Bouw is a former atheist with a Phd in Astronomy). Baal is not dead. He has a new generation of ignorant worshippers. Even the so-called "Christian" textbook publishers magnify heliocentrists like Nicolas Copernicus, Galileo, and Kepler but practically ignore Tycho Brahe--the Noble Dane and the "Prince of Astronomers"--his beliefs, his findings. Tycho Brahe created the greatest naked eye astronomical instrumentation known to mankind. He took astronomy to a whole new level. This fact is undisputed. He knew about Copernicus' proclamations and rejected them on both scriptural and scientific grounds (for the record, the Tychonic model is not the same as the Ptolemaic system). King James delighted in the knowledge that he learned in Tycho Brahe's laboratory.

Unsurprisingly, heliocentrist experiments to prove the motion of the earth have FAILED. These experiments have been deliberately ignored by universities because they support geocentricity. :wtf:

This lady is completely bonkers! What does she think the astronauts see, when they're up in space? :cray-cray:

And, as for the urine use....from what I could comprehend of the disjointed writing, it didn't work. She had to go back to using medication, anyway,for her allergies. And the dousing her head in warm water, well duh! Allergists have been recommending the use of sinus irrigation, using a warm saline solution, for years, as way of controlling symptoms. :roll:

[16strong]

Disgusting. The only person who would agree with this method is PP, because he gets urine in his eye regularly from splash-back when he "pisseths against the wall."

[browncoatslytherin]

Disgusting. The only person who would agree with this method is PP, because he gets urine in his eye regularly from splash-back when he "pisseths against the wall."

made me lol for real XD

[NotALoserLikeYou]

Here's an article about her child reading beliefs:

washingtontimes.com/news/2005/jun/19/20050619-115430-3483r/?page=all

[freejingerbeth]

Disgusting. The only person who would agree with this method is PP, because he gets urine in his eye regularly from splash-back when he "pisseths against the wall."

:lol: :clap:

[doggie]

Apparently deaf people are at a real disadvantage because they only learn sign language not English and thus cannot truly understand and reason when reading the KJV. I guess she doesn't understand that deaf people, even if they use sign language to communicate, still learn to read and write English.

even then the KJV is not English she even speaks and no one else does either.

[docmom]

WTH? What is it if it's not a planet?

This woman belongs to the church of JMSU, or, as we like to call it, Just Making Shit Up.

It's obviously the CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE! A flat disc with corners and pillars holding it up as it says in teh bible. Of course all the space stuff is faked because SATAN loves to spend billions making things up so people turn away from teh KJV. Hey, it worked for me!

What I want to know is what did people do before the KJV came out? Is everyone born before the reformation automatically doomed becasue they were ebil catholics who couldn't read (or if they could read the bible in a language other than English)? If god intended the bible to be read in English, why didn't s/he just make sure everyone could speak English right from the start? I mean why play around with Hebrew, Greek and Aramaic if the ONE TRUE language is English.

[thoughtful]

Biblical Scholarship engenders and creates a strange, and peculiar atmosphere...(snip)

A Biblical Scholarship is immensely satisfying--not deadly like the grievous scholarship learned in modern slaughterhouses of the mind called schools, colleges, and heretick seminaries where the hapless student must memorize the sterile, dead facts of man's finite mind and then parrot them back on a test.

Biblical Scholarship can return a man to his greatness and power and rescue him from the soft-hands, piece-of-bread-from-watching-whores, you're-nothing-but-a-statistic manhood of today

These sound like excerpts from an infomercial.

[RosyDaisy]

Umm...deaf people can read. That comment about about deaf people was offensive, but of course the blogger doesn't give a damn.

As for the KJV, I guess I've helped make Satan a millionaire. I only read the ESV and NIV versions. I haven't read the KJV in many years.

All I can say is that this blogger is ignorant and batshit crazy.

[thoughtful]

Hmmm . . . Rod Steward or WWI? Can't decide -- must do both (and I know the accented syllable is wrong, but I couldn't resist):

Urine for heart, urine for colds,

Urine for breath, too – let’s be bold.

They’ll run for cover, you’ll have no friends.

Urine is gold!

Urine for all ills now,

Will fix you up, I vow!

For pain or for itch, to ward off a witch,

Urine for all ills now.

Urine for pneumonia,

You’ll smell of ammonia!

And daily you’ll cry “Here’s piss in my eye!â€

Urine for pneumonia!

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