Your heart and prayers entrusted to your father

[BrownieMomma]

My daughter likes to watch the Duggars. She also likes the Manzos and Long Island Medium and that Kim/Kroy show. Oh yeah Kardashians too. She's 14 and yeah I'm that terrible mother that lets her watch almost anything she wants. Yeah we watched Orange is the New Black together.

 

Anyway, last night I had to watch/listen to those episodes again. This blessing thing from Michelle creeps me out the more I hear it.

 

First of all, Michelle is relying on her smartphone to get through this. Really? I guess I could see wanting to use something to make sure all salient points got said, but after 20 something years of loving and living with your kid, you can't do it without reading right off your phone? Just SMACKS of insincerity.

 

"Daddy and I have begun to trust your heart and your prayers to another man besides your father."

 

Okay. I am really creeped out about this statement. Are fathers supposed to have their daughters hearts and prayers?

 

Then we get to the part where Michelle would like us to believe she's holding back tears but let me tell you, I am positive that Michelle is trying to push some out.

 

Jinger has tears freely flowing. It's obvious JoyAnna is feeling emotional. Jessa and Jana, nah, not so much. But the tears of her sisters seems sincere while her mother is just FAKE.

 

Also, it annoys me how Marcus is at Michelle's knees and she is oblivious to him. Or pointedly making him understand that he is not the center of the universe. If I was Anna I would be kinda pissed at Michelle ignoring Marcus for so long.

 

This whole concept of transferring your daughter from her father to her husband is just.. yuck. I guess this is how SAHD happens. Like there is nothing else in life than your father or your husband.

 

Become a real nurse and go on mission trips around the world and do some actual needed work that is a blessing to the truly suffering, not just hang around the house kowtowing to Mommy and Daddy.

[Rescinded and Mended]

I was pretty revolted by that whole exchange, too. Michelle was essentially treating Jill like she was a commodity to be brokered at marriage. I also agree that Michelle was trying to push tears out. When she goes to swipe at her eyes with a tissue, you can make out the faintest glimmer of a tear, but boy, did she have to work at it.

Jessa read her own statement and wasn't emotional about it, but then, she's not emotional by nature. What I did think was odd was the way she called Jill loving like their mother. I felt like she was really reaching there - I'm not saying they don't love Michelle, but it just seemed like an odd comparison to make considering how checked out Michelle always seems as a parent. And then Jessa contradicted it by saying how bad they thought Jessa was when they were all little compared to how good Jill was.

Also agree about Marcus - Michelle seemed to do her best to avoid him for as long as she could. I was relieved when she finally held him in her lap.

I don't think there's anything wrong with letting your daughter watch those shows. At that age, kids often shut down, and the best way to get them to open up is to show that you, as a parent, are receptive to their interests. I'm a believer in the style of parenting where we sit down, watch, and discuss it afterward, particularly on the points of "we watch their antics on TV, but we don't behave like them." As long as it's not something that's influencing your child in a negative way, and she's willing to discuss it with you, then that's the most important thing. ;)

[BrownieMomma]

I was pretty revolted by that whole exchange, too. Michelle was essentially treating Jill like she was a commodity to be brokered at marriage. I also agree that Michelle was trying to push tears out. When she goes to swipe at her eyes with a tissue, you can make out the faintest glimmer of a tear, but boy, did she have to work at it.

Jessa read her own statement and wasn't emotional about it, but then, she's not emotional by nature. What I did think was odd was the way she called Jill loving like their mother. I felt like she was really reaching there - I'm not saying they don't love Michelle, but it just seemed like an odd comparison to make considering how checked out Michelle always seems as a parent. And then Jessa contradicted it by saying how bad they thought Jessa was when they were all little compared to how good Jill was.

Also agree about Marcus - Michelle seemed to do her best to avoid him for as long as she could. I was relieved when she finally held him in her lap.

I don't think there's anything wrong with letting your daughter watch those shows. At that age, kids often shut down, and the best way to get them to open up is to show that you, as a parent, are receptive to their interests. I'm a believer in the style of parenting where we sit down, watch, and discuss it afterward, particularly on the points of "we watch their antics on TV, but we don't behave like them." As long as it's not something that's influencing your child in a negative way, and she's willing to discuss it with you, then that's the most important thing. ;)

That was an odd comment from Jessa - like it was made for the camera. Or maybe some kind of sideswipe comment that Jill kisses up to Michelle. Well heck this was all made for the camera, Jill looked kinda ridiculous with that crown on IMO. Fundie princess she may be, but frumpers and tiaras do not mix.

And thanks for your comments about my kid. She likes to watch TV with me. It's a good thing. I have let her, and my sons too but they are far less interested, watch really just about anything they want. They are all old enough and we talk a lot about what we are seeing.

When my oldest (25) was young, I was much more fundie and his life was so much more restricted. He hasn't complained about that but honestly I like this way so much better - watching and discussing rather than trying to protect my child's eyes and mind from everything.

[Rescinded and Mended]

You're welcome, anytime. :) I know how it is. I sometimes let my son play action/horror video games. Truth is, he's self-censoring. He doesn't like horror movies, and if the game he's playing is too intense, he'll abandon it on his own. And after he plays, he always wants to talk about it, what motivates the characters to behave the way they do, what effect it all has on the arc of the story. It's always a joy to have these discussions with him because he has some interesting insights about what he's learned. He never has nightmares from them, he's just interested in the stories.

In many ways, I agree with Stephen King's philosophy on certain media that can influence children. If they can handle it, let 'em see it and discuss it with 'em, if they can't handle it, take it away.

(I also would like to add that if the games were giving him nightmares or negatively impacting his behavior, I would take them away, but he's always been mature for his age and is good about identifying what he can and can't handle - I think our discussions help that)

[toejamflipflop]

" your heart and prayers entrusted to your father," Is Michelle speaking about JimBoob or God? Another thing is these purity rings the girls wear and those purity balls their daddies take them too. All of that is creepy in itself and Is just to perverse for me. As for Michelle she is fake as the day is long. Those younger kids in the Duggar Family are going to need psychiatric help when they get older because of lack of parenting by the parents in that family especially the mother. Michelle is certainly for herself.

[JillsFlowerHeadband]

" your heart and prayers entrusted to your father," Is Michelle speaking about JimBoob or God? Another thing is these purity rings the girls wear and those purity balls their daddies take them too. All of that is creepy in itself and Is just to perverse for me. As for Michelle she is fake as the day is long. Those younger kids in the Duggar Family are going to need psychiatric help when they get older because of lack of parenting by the parents in that family especially the mother. Michelle is certainly for herself.

This was always the thing that confused me about these fundies and their SAHDs... Boob, Stevehovah, Daddy Botkin and all those... I thought they would want their children's hearts and prayers entrusted to God, not flawed human beings.

The whole "worshipping Daddy" thing and the buy/sell/trade connotation of courtship just makes my skin crawl.

[eh02]

I think it is sad when Jill talks about how much she loves her mom and wants to be like her mom, how close they are...because for most outsiders watching the show they don't look close at all compared to most mothers/daughters I know, and I think Jill has heard "you love your mom! your mom is the greatest! you love your mom! remember how much you love your mom! remember how your mom is the best mom!" chanted to her so many times that she has totally convinced herself that Michelle is Mom of the Year material.

It's a joke that people are constantly talking about Michelle being an inspiration to other moms. Truly absurd. If anyone deserves recognition, it's Jill and Jana for doing a better job being there for those poor children at 15, 16 years old more than their own grown-ass mother was. By the time she had older daughters to raise the smaller kids, she essentially just turned into an incubator. And for Jill to say things like "I hope I can be as good of a mom as my own mom" - honey, you are ALREADY a better mom than Michelle, and you actually have a brain in your head and goals and interests beyond popping out babies. Michelle has NOTHING going on in her head except wondering where the closest baby is.

Michelle's speech was nauseating. Nothing can be their own, not even their "heart" and "prayers." Need a big strong smart man to watch over them for you. It's vile. Women are so inferior that they need a man to connect them to God. Insulting.

I think when Jessa talks about admiring her mom, she totally realizes that Michelle runs the show and that she can do things the same way. Enter Ben...

[curlytoes79]

Some prankster should approach Dim-Bulb and Mullet in public, point at one of their daughters, and ask "How much?" And ask for a guarantee that the daughter will not do him any evil. Well they trade their daughters like fattened hogs at a market so it shouldn't offend them, right?

[CorruptionInc.]

It's a joke that people are constantly talking about Michelle being an inspiration to other moms. Truly absurd. If anyone deserves recognition, it's Jill and Jana for doing a better job being there for those poor children at 15, 16 years old more than their own grown-ass mother was. By the time she had older daughters to raise the smaller kids, she essentially just turned into an incubator. And for Jill to say things like "I hope I can be as good of a mom as my own mom" - honey, you are ALREADY a better mom than Michelle, and you actually have a brain in your head and goals and interests beyond popping out babies. Michelle has NOTHING going on in her head except wondering where the closest baby is.

Mullet is NOT a wonderful mum. Jana deserves a mother of the decade award. Or Jill.

[FreeHannie!]

I know I'm saying this as a non fundie, but the Gothard emphasis on worshipping your father and your father giving you a purity rung is just so so so creepy. I get along well with my father but....ugh, it makes me skin crawl thinking about my Dad treating me and my sister like Boob does the J'Slaves.

[Toothfairy]

There should be an episode on parents vs the older girls. Who knows their kids better. I bet the older girls would win

[SassyPants]

The only messages that were honest and heartfelt were Joy's and Jana's= Jana's it was pretty obvious that she had little to say and was totally over it. Joy's was far more emotional than Michelle's.

[FloraKitty35]

I know I'm saying this as a non fundie, but the Gothard emphasis on worshipping your father and your father giving you a purity rung is just so so so creepy. I get along well with my father but....ugh, it makes me skin crawl thinking about my Dad treating me and my sister like Boob does the J'Slaves.

I concur.

[bluebird]

I agree that the whole purity ring ritual is creepy. I would not have wanted my dad wondering about my virginity, ewwww...Of course as my dad he may have in the sense of not wanting me to be inappropriately de-flowered but to talk about it in a literal sense, no ewww....Advice about horny boys, o.k. My vag, not o.k. Oh hell no.

[grandmadugger]

I might have share my hopes and dreams with my dad but not my prayers. I'm a firm believer in the fact I don't need anyone here on earth to hear my prayers and pass them on to God for me. I might pray with my husband now but he doesn't know all of my prayers because again I don't need him to pass it on or approve of them. These people don't have personal relationships with God, they have a relationship with their dad who they hope passes it along to God.

[JillsFlowerHeadband]

I know I'm saying this as a non fundie, but the Gothard emphasis on worshipping your father and your father giving you a purity rung is just so so so creepy. I get along well with my father but....ugh, it makes me skin crawl thinking about my Dad treating me and my sister like Boob does the J'Slaves.

Me too, and I have a pretty good relationship with my dad. I couldn't imagine him acting the way Boob does. He's always been the "if you really get into a jam, Mom and I are always here for you, but you need to make your own mistakes" type. So the idea of him micromanaging parts of my life like fundie/Gothardite dads do to their daughters makes me feel weird on so many levels.

[BrownieMomma]

Still puzzling over this concept that a daughter is to give her heart to her father. Where in the world do they come up with this? I thought the whole 'giving your heart' idea was to give it to someone you fall in love with. A romantic ideal.

To give her prayers to her father - does this mean she is to pray for him? Like, how in-depth? Just a general "God bless Daddy" or how well is she supposed to know her father in order to pray for him? Pray that his business ventures succeed? That he has wisdom dealing with TLC? That his ED be cured? I mean, how intimately are daughters supposed to be all up in their father's business?

And does this mean Mom doesn't get her daughter's heart or prayers?

And then dear ole Dad passes her heart and prayers on to her husband upon marriage.

Man, the Duggars are really skeeving me today.

[CorruptionInc.]

Still puzzling over this concept that a daughter is to give her heart to her father. Where in the world do they come up with this? I thought the whole 'giving your heart' idea was to give it to someone you fall in love with. A romantic ideal.

To give her prayers to her father - does this mean she is to pray for him? Like, how in-depth? Just a general "God bless Daddy" or how well is she supposed to know her father in order to pray for him? Pray that his business ventures succeed? That he has wisdom dealing with TLC? That his ED be cured? I mean, how intimately are daughters supposed to be all up in their father's business?

And does this mean Mom doesn't get her daughter's heart or prayers?

And then dear ole Dad passes her heart and prayers on to her husband upon marriage.

Man, the Duggars are really skeeving me today.

A bizzare part of my brain thinks possibly Gothard made this rule to "justify" his abuse of women... I don't know... it's a really out of line call on my part probably.

[Toothfairy]

A bizzare part of my brain thinks possibly Gothard made this rule to "justify" his abuse of women... I don't know... it's a really out of line call on my part probably.

Again nowhere in the bible does it say this

[CorruptionInc.]

Again nowhere in the bible does it say this

I am curious to know if any Duggar has read the WHOLE bible. I think they skip bits; I think the website says Josiah has three times? Or am I in la la land?

[grandmadugger]

I am curious to know if any Duggar has read the WHOLE bible. I think they skip bits; I think the website says Josiah has three times? Or am I in la la land?

I can't figure out what Bible they are reading. I've read it many times, KJV included and 90% of what they say/do I've never read. I've never studied about it in the many in depth studies I have done. There's that little 10%, if it's even that much, that jives for me. The rest is utter bullshit.

[CorruptionInc.]

I can't figure out what Bible they are reading. I've read it many times, KJV included and 90% of what they say/do I've never read. I've never studied about it in the many in depth studies I have done. There's that little 10%, if it's even that much, that jives for me. The rest is utter bullshit.

That's what I am thinking. God wouldn't want them to act this way surely!

[grandmadugger]

That's what I am thinking. God wouldn't want them to act this way surely!

I know they are huge fans of "Left Behind", at least the movie, I doubt they've read all the books. There's a part of me that can't help but think they'll be the group of christians that are left behind. I haven't seen the movie but assume it runs pretty close to the book and one of the characters is a pastor. He knew exactly what was going on and figured out why he was left behind. It all boiled down to the fact it didn't matter how much or what he said he didn't believe deep inside. The Duggars just strike me as those kind of people, it's all lip service not deep down beliefs.

[CorruptionInc.]

I know they are huge fans of "Left Behind", at least the movie, I doubt they've read all the books. There's a part of me that can't help but think they'll be the group of christians that are left behind. I haven't seen the movie but assume it runs pretty close to the book and one of the characters is a pastor. He knew exactly what was going on and figured out why he was left behind. It all boiled down to the fact it didn't matter how much or what he said he didn't believe deep inside. The Duggars just strike me as those kind of people, it's all lip service not deep down beliefs.

Well TLC is going to leave them behind soon if they don't shush up!

[calimojo]

well, If Josiah has read the bible 3 times, then he surely must have found many things that he knows are wrong in what Gothard or his parents claim is "Biblical"