Horse Forum

Took me until my mid-40s to figure out that my mental health did not jive with being brought up by authoritarian parents and therefore I am NOT crazy.  One visit with an amazing therapist, who's jaw was on the floor the whole time, affirmed what I should have already known.  You see now that my siblings are starting families of their own (40s and late to the baby party) they are finally seeing and experiencing what I have for the past 15 years or make that my lifetime.  However, now that my parents are getting elderly, sick and frail I need to try very hard not to become consumed by guilt for years lost because I still love them very much.  I drove my Dad (with Mom in tow - she doesn't drive and is tremendously frail for a woman in her early 70s thanks to good old osteoporosis, Parkinsons and a host of other problems) to a biopsy of swollen lymph nodes in his neck, mass to his thyroid and mass under his tongue today.  Dad is in his 80s and takes care of Mom.  I am their go-to (refer to siblings with infants above who also live out of town) and am glad to be quite honestly.  Maybe it will make up for lost time...  Thanks for listening.*
*Update: Dad has cancer aaaaand I forgot to hit submit when I originally wrote this.  I feel broken inside
 

Walked with my walker on wheels (rollator) today for the first time. Just turned 32 last Saturday, but hey, if it gives me some more freedom, I gladly accept!

One of those mornings where I wish I could sleep until noon. 

First off, I am not suicidal. 
But I'm not exactly looking forward to whatever horrible news I'll wake up to tomorrow morning. 

When I saw on the news pictures of babies in cages, I wish I was only reminded a J Rod “crib”. No. Nazi concentration camps.

That horrible feeling when you accidentally eat a butter popcorn JellyBelly. *gags*

Serious Q: How do you cope with bitterness of being raised by a narc mom and an absentee (alcoholic and undiagnosed mental illness) father? I was raised by loving grandparent. I have gone to therapy for this since I was in high school but every so often, around Mother’s Day and Father’s Day and anytime I hear from them, I get very burdened about it. It doesn’t help that they put me down rather than praise my accomplishments when I do hear from them. Therapy never really helped me move on from being dealt this hand.

So we were just watching Miriam's Big Adventure, featuring Miriam Margolyes travelling around the USA, and at one point they featured the Flanders family who appear to be a lite version of QF (12 kids, homeschool, see kids as blessings - though the girls do wear pants) - right down to the sign on the parents' bedroom door that said 'mom and dad are getting it on'.
My husband was incredulous at the whole thing and said he couldn't believe there were still Christians like that in the US. Oh honey, if only you knew... (he has no idea about my fundie-following obsession...)

I drove 160km/h (100mph) on the highway today. 

Any suggestions on how to get one cat to stop sniffing the other cat’s butt? Miss Kitty hates it.