Why don't more people tell the truth... - Duggars

[homeschoolmomma1]

Why don't more people tell the truth about what the Duggars are like? We always hear accounts of people who knew them in the past (pre TLC) but why are more people not more forward with what they know? I wonder if they are told to keep hush hush

[xReems]

Maybe they got paid to keep hush hush or the Duggars would automatically debunk it as a "rumor". They like to put up this front that everything is peachy perfect but us critics definitely know there's stuff that happens behind closed doors. Honestly, I want to know why Jana went to another "Journey to the Heart", why she's been looking really sad, and why she has had to sit next to her parents at their signings while her siblings sat with each other.

[homeschoolmomma1]

Maybe they got paid to keep hush hush or the Duggars would automatically debunk it as a "rumor". They like to put up this front that everything is peachy perfect but us critics definitely know there's stuff that happens behind closed doors. Honestly, I want to know why Jana went to another "Journey to the Heart", why she's been looking really sad, and why she has had to sit next to her parents at their signings while her siblings sat with each other.

what is wrong with journy to the heart? I is just a summer camp I thought

[3 is enough]

It's more like a Gothard reprogramming camp. The girls have to confess all of their shortcomings, such as *gasp* "feeling resentment towards some family members" (You know, like the mother who has made you cook, clean , and care for your siblings since you were 8 or 9), and then they pray for forgiveness. My guess it is like being in a prayer closet with pine trees for two weeks.

[DefraudedbyGothard]

Journey to the Heart is not summer camp. It is a very intense program run by Gothard and his minions. While there you spend alot of time in personal reflection/prayer that is to lead you to confessing your sins (ie everything you might have ever done like watching a movie or listening to pop music) to a mentor and eventually to your parents. It basically causes a girl to self destruct and then they can make them into stepford children. It is EVIL.

OK deep breath. This stuff just gets me really worked up.

I watched what this program did to my daughters ex best friend. That's right ex, because my daughter is now considered a bad influence. Yep she is such a bad influence that when this girl was cutting herself and heading toward the edge my little bad influence got her some help without involving her completely Gothard sucking family. I could go on and on. One day remind me to tell you guys the chickens outta the unbrella story. :o

[Lewis]

Several reasons people don't talk. Legal/civil reasons would be one, considering the legal machine at the core of some of these movements. I'd tend to think they'd look to protect people like the Duggars who are, in many ways, the public face of the movements. If you're telling the truth, it shouldn't be an issue, but a lot of people get intimidated into silence. Another reason is they're probably afraid of the hell they'll catch from all sides of the issue. Lord knows I catch it from every direction.

[kb2]

If you had a really juicy story, and actually got the attention of the media, then you'd find yourself getting a lot of attention. Some people may not want that, and would rather stay out of the limelight. Especially since you'd only be known for saying bad things about someone else. It may be for the greater good, but I wouldn't want to be widely known for just that.

[ChunkyBarbie]

I can imagine that there are people crazy enough to cause a person harm if you bad mouthed the Duggars. They would refuse to believe any thing that didn't fit their rosy view of the Duggars. I am actually surprised that the Duggars don't have a serious problem with stalkers. Some of these religious fanatics don't seem wrapped too tight.

Forgive my grammar please, I am off coffee.

[Crackedeggs]

http://iblp.org/iblp/discipleship/journ ... t/mothers/

They have the retraining program, er, camp, for mommies now too, but I don't see one for daddies.

[dcmhejbl62]

Honestly I think we know the truth. People have been searching for years for some juicy tidbit on the Duggars, but there really isn't much out there.

I followed the Gosselin saga quite closely. I didn't like the woman from the first special and after an episode or two of the series I decided to investigate. From the beginning these people put their stories through a spin machine like no other, had every single legal and confidentiality protection you can imagine, and there was still TONS of negative stuff out there from multiple corners, long before Jon was caught hitting the bars. Much of the old stuff has been wiped from the web, and new incidents pop up regularly. People love to spread the negative stuff.

The Duggars have the advantage of staying quite sheltered, and JB's dabble into politics taught him the art of spin. Still, with the amount of exposure they had prior to the show, their large extended families, the skepticism of their neighbors, their business dealings, etc., there would be plenty of opportunities for people to speak up with negative experiences. And yet actual negative stories of the Duggars are exceedingly rare.

They follow a goofy cult-like religion and have profited from their ability to procreate well. They've attempted to mold their daughters into subservient roles but I don't believe they've beaten it into them like other families, and therefore I don't think it will work well, or for very long. Other than that I just don't believe there's much controversial out there about the Duggars; if they'd had 4 or 5 kids they would have been downright boring, from a gossip standpoint.

[chemist1217]

I would LOVE to go undercover to one of those Journey to the Heart events. Unfortunately, that cost if just absurd and I don't think there is any way I could pass for fundie. I would pack sexy lingerie and gasp...jeans...in my bag and slowly dole them out over the week. All those women will go home with a totally new outlook, not to mention a rad new wardrobe!

[FireIsCatching89]

Fear of lawsuits/retaliation? Really good PR teams? Hush money? Maybe just believing that no one would believe the real truth about the Duggars? Wanting to mind their own business and a desire to not be made a spectacle (can you imagine the hullabaloo if someone did say something...? oy vey!) like the Duggars? I can think of lots of reasons why someone wouldn't reveal what they know. That said, I can think of plenty of people who would be all attention-whorey and even make things up, so...

Honestly, I don't know what it is. I'd enjoy a tell-all, but only if it was legit. No James Frey people up in my biz, thanks.

[Guest Anonymous]

My guess is that the Duggars also weed out potential whistle-blowers by not allowing anyone who hasn't snorked copious amounts of Kool-Aid themselves to enter their orbit.

[gardenvarietycitizen]

Honestly, I want to know why Jana went to another "Journey to the Heart", why she's been looking really sad, and why she has had to sit next to her parents at their signings while her siblings sat with each other.

Caveat: I've never seen the Duggars' show, only read some articles about them online (and read some threads on TWoP, which is what led me here).

But I wonder - did they mention this "Journey to the Heart" on the show, by name? Reading in this thread and then googling seems to show it's pretty scary, so I wonder, if they feel free to mention it by name then either (1) they don't think it's strange or odd at all (though apparently they're not so open about the Gothard stuff on the show, I thought?) OR (2) they just assume no one in the TV audience will know what it is?

Interesting. I know I've been in some other forums where people make fun of the Duggars with that famous "it's not a clown car" edited family photo (back when there were only 16 kids) and invariably people stop by to post about how the Duggars are perfectly fine because they support themselves, etc, and are surprised if anyone points out anything about the more extreme bits of their religion.

[homeschoolmomma1]

What is with ATI's long application process and 800 bucks that is NUTS!

[xReems]

Gardenvarietycitizen, they've never mentioned the name but they have said in an episode that the older girls were on some "retreat". there's also photos of it on their website that states "Journey to the Heart". If you google Journey to the Heart podcast when the older girls went, you can hear them talk about what they learned. It's really disturbing. I wonder why Jana went the second time.

I've seen that ATI application, it's nuts. I was talking to one of my roommates, who is a devout Christian, and she said she's heard of Gothard but people at her church consider IBLP/ATI as a "cult" since he picks and chooses stuff from the Bible he wants to follow. He's a money grabbing ass, that's all. He doesn't really care about his followers, unless they cough up money.

[emmiedahl]

This is kinda sad http://iblp.org/iblp/discipleship/journ ... ies/julia/ It sounds like that poor girl needed more than Gothard boot camp.

[Crackedeggs]

This is kinda sad http://iblp.org/iblp/discipleship/journ ... ies/julia/ It sounds like that poor girl needed more than Gothard boot camp.

she's a zealot waiting to happen. God protect her and her kids, someday. Poor, poor child.

[bananacat]

I think that Duaggar-defenders would just shout down anyone who tried to say something bad about the Duggars. Realistically, there are a lot of people out there who have no idea how unrealistic reality tv actually is, and they eat up the Duggars' lies with a spoon. If anyone said anything bad about the Duggars in a big public way, they'd just stage an episode showing the opposite in response to the criticism, just like they always do, and the people who love them will believe it because they want to. At this point the entire show is basically staged scenes to counter critics mixed with packing for trips. Remember the whole jurisdiction switch thing? A lot of people don't like how they force their kids to follow such strict gender roles, so they had boys cook one meal and the girls watched JB change the oil in the car. They have gotten some criticism for neglecting their kids' education so now they are shilling College Plus in response to that. And when anyone ever asks about spanking, they simply avoid the question. So really, no matter what any says they'll just lie and say they're perfect. It's really pointless to reveal anything about them.

[Freyacat]

Why don't more people tell the truth about what the Duggars are like? We always hear accounts of people who knew them in the past (pre TLC) but why are more people not more forward with what they know? I wonder if they are told to keep hush hush

Because most of the supposed "dirt" on them isn't all that exciting by most peoples' standards. Most of the rumors we've discussed here involve dissent among the ranks of the kids or some Duggar or another not being nice. Nothing that exciting to most people... only to the fundie-obsessed. :) I think the media is always going to focus on dirt involving sex, drugs, or in the best cases, both.

[xDreamerx]

I think to a certain extent it's the pyschology and perception of the viewers as well. People want to see them as good for whatever reasons they may have. If they are considering entering a home school life, or having some doubts, they might look to resources and to a lot of people questioning is scary and unsettling so they find opinions that reinforce theirs and reassure them that they are right.

In terms of people who know the truth, I think they don't speak out because it is a cult. They are so controled and brainwashed. Minute details of their lives are codified. Mix that in with isolation and extreme authorities and you have the perfect recipe for a cult. If people like Tina Anderson show us nothing else it's the difficulty of escaping, not only the cult physically but the mind set.

I used to think it was just a summer camp too, like Girl Guides but with prayer. Wrong. There was a blog I read about it. The girl was totally fundie and into it but if you read it you can get an idea of what they do. I'll see if I can find it. Well, I can't find it but if someone knows what I mean and can provide the link, Kudos. I did however find this,

http://farmgirlinflipflops.blogspotDOTc ... heart.html

There are lots of pictures. Photography is the new piano.

[luckylassie]

I think that if you were raised in this lifestyle, even if you wanted to get out, it would be scary and tremendously difficult. Where would a runaway Gothardite child go to? Even those over eighteen may not have the education necessary to get a good paying job. I guess a homeless shelter would be a possibility.

[lilwriter85]

I think that Duaggar-defenders would just shout down anyone who tried to say something bad about the Duggars. Realistically, there are a lot of people out there who have no idea how unrealistic reality tv actually is, and they eat up the Duggars' lies with a spoon. If anyone said anything bad about the Duggars in a big public way, they'd just stage an episode showing the opposite in response to the criticism, just like they always do, and the people who love them will believe it because they want to. At this point the entire show is basically staged scenes to counter critics mixed with packing for trips. Remember the whole jurisdiction switch thing? A lot of people don't like how they force their kids to follow such strict gender roles, so they had boys cook one meal and the girls watched JB change the oil in the car. They have gotten some criticism for neglecting their kids' education so now they are shilling College Plus in response to that. And when anyone ever asks about spanking, they simply avoid the question. So really, no matter what any says they'll just lie and say they're perfect. It's really pointless to reveal anything about them.

I think some of the Duggar defenders are probably fundies who have the attitude that fundie/QF lifestyle is supreme and so they always jump to defend the Duggars because they probably see any negative feelings or negative reports about the Duggars as a threat to all fundies/QF's.. There are some Duggar fans that aren't fundies but they are mainstream Christian types who really don't know a lot about the fundie or QF lifestyles. To these types of fans, they think the Duggars are this ultra happy large Christian family.

The Duggars have lost fans/supporters. I have seen some people on different sites who have stated that they liked the Duggars at one point but in time things about the family seemed off or some of these people started researching QF and fundie movements and they didn't like what they found out.

I agree with you bananacat many things on the show have beeen stage to counter the critics and I think some of the staged events are also done to keep some of the naive fans from learning more about the family's true lifestyle.

[lilwriter85]

Fear of lawsuits/retaliation? Really good PR teams? Hush money? Maybe just believing that no one would believe the real truth about the Duggars? Wanting to mind their own business and a desire to not be made a spectacle (can you imagine the hullabaloo if someone did say something...? oy vey!) like the Duggars? I can think of lots of reasons why someone wouldn't reveal what they know. That said, I can think of plenty of people who would be all attention-whorey and even make things up, so...

Honestly, I don't know what it is. I'd enjoy a tell-all, but only if it was legit. No James Frey people up in my biz, thanks.

I think TLC does good PR for the Duggars. TLC's producers and editors have been careful in not letting certain things about the Duggars on the show. Also when the Duggars go on the Today Show or GMA, TLC probably doesn't allow the journalists to actually ask the Duggars any tough questions. Boob and Mullett probably know what not to say.

I don't think hush money incidents are happening. It would be impossible to pay off all of the people the Duggars know from spilling secrets. Rachel333 has posted her about her encounters with the Duggars on the old FJ and she has posted here on this board. She lives or live in the same area as the Duggars and she said that the Duggars aren't as friendly as them seem on the show. She did say that some of the homeschooling community in the Duggars' area have been torn on the family. Some people really don't like them anymore.