Who would be the better mother in law? Duggar vs Bates

[emmyfair]

With the courtn' n hitchn' going on, I started wondering, who would be the better MIL, Michelle Duggar or Kelly Bates? I highly suspect Kelly Bates would be the better one to deal with, but you never know ... maybe Michelle would be such a space cadet it wouldn't matter, you know? I do remember Anna Duggar calling Michelle Mrs. Duggar for a crazy long time ... I wonder if that was something Michelle asked her to do, or was that something Anna was raised with. Who knows. Anyway, thoughts?

[ladypuglover]

I vote kelly but not by much as she falls into the same camp as Michelle of not really caring after a certain age.

[bananacat]

I think we haven't seen the worst of Kelly Bates yet simply because she hasn't had any in-laws yet. Remember that she is losing the baby competition between herself and Michelle, AND she keeps having miscarriage after miscarriage. If she doesn't have any more babies and her new daughter-in-law is as fertile as Anna Duggar, she won't handle it well. She might space out with depression, become angry and hostile, or even become extremely controlling while she tries to raise her grandkids as her own. At least Michelle managed to get two more of her own after Anna started to take her place. I just don't see Kelly handling this well at all. And being the very first person to steal one of her babies will be a tough spot for the Reith girl.

[moreorlessnu]

I vote for Mrs. Keller. She's quiet and sweet. She swoops down on the children the minute they arrive, and loves them to death. She's definitely a woman you could leave your children with without worrying for their safety. Michelle? Not so much.

[Sola]

I vote for Mrs. Keller. She's quiet and sweet. She swoops down on the children the minute they arrive, and loves them to death. She's definitely a woman you could leave your children with without worrying for their safety. Michelle? Not so much.

God no. Mrs Keller stood by while her daughter was shunned. That's no decent mother there.

If I absolutely had to choose between the Kellers, Duggars and Bateses, it would be Michelle Duggar simply because she cannot be too extreme whilst on TV. She has to keep TLC happy and if she turns off viewers, TLC will drop the Duggars like a hot potato.

[zcccrv]

A frightening topic. Those two are like choosing between a rock and a hard place. For some reason I find Kelly Bates a bit more disturbing so I guess I'll go with Michelle.

[IReallyAmHopewell]

Depends if you were a SON-in-law or Daughter-in-law. I think Michelle would probably just assume a guy was a boy she had long ago forgotten about birthing, but a daughter [even d-in-l] she'd expect to handle, say, laundry for 80 or dinner for 97 without breaking a sweat. It SOUNDS like Kelly actually DOES more, but she also seems to pay way more attention to life than Michelle....tough call. I'm guessing Michelle because she ignores too much.

[Jessica]

Kelly Bates.

[moreorlessnu]

It SOUNDS like Kelly actually DOES more, but she also seems to pay way more attention to life than Michelle....tough call.

Does anyone remember the veiled snark-i-liciousity comment Kelly made when the Bates family came to visit the Duggars? It was something along the lines of (spoken hesitantly, as though Kelly was searching for the right words a little bit), "Michelle is very good at going off and doing her own thing, such as lying down, when she needs to". The comment was said with the tone/inflection of praise, as in "Jill is great at cooking and sewing", but when you listen to the words, she basically said that Michelle just bails and takes a nap whenever she pleases. They may have shown Kelly saying this after they showed Kelley homeschooling her kids at the Duggars' house, so it came off as even more "I'm hands on w/ my kids, and she disappears to take a nap."

You're really stretching for praise if that's the only compliment you can come up with. Hmmmmm, she certainly wears blue and red together better than anyone else I've seen....

[fundiefan]

I didn't marry or live or divorce my ex husband based on either of our parent's convictions, beliefs, choices or values. I'd never play by anyone elses rules. So, my answer is neither. If my choice were only one of the two, I'd choose life without a husband.

I married a spoiled boy who was never questioned or doubted by mom or dad or anyone else. While I did love my in-laws, and still do, they really screwed up his life by worshiping him to the extent they did/do.

I can't even imagine the religion thing playing into the mix.

[Gizmola]

Kelly Bates.

1) she seems more genuine than fake-baby-talk J'chelle

2) she's always smiling and not the mindless robot way J'chelle does

3) I think Gil is cute and then I could defraud him more easily

[lilwriter85]

I agree with Gizmola on Kelly. I don't care for her that much but she seems more likable that Michelle "Mullet" Duggar/

[Guest Anonymous]

Kelly Bates.

1) she seems more genuine than fake-baby-talk J'chelle

2) she's always smiling and not the mindless robot way J'chelle does

3) I think Gil is cute and then I could defraud him more easily

Gizmola, I too think Gil is nice looking.

[Freyacat]

I'd go for Kelly. Even if both Kelly and J'chelle don't like their DILs, I think Kelly would be more open and frank about it. I personally can handle open disagreement or criticism much more easily than I can handle digs layered in a bunch of baby sweetness. My own MIL is big on criticizing me while being cloyingly sweet and syrupy at the same time, and it drives me up the freaking wall. Also, grown women who talk in a high pitched, whispery baby voice all the time sounds like nails on a chalkboard to me.

[batwing]

It depends on whether you have to live on the compound or not.

Does any one know if the Bates are keeping their family close by after they're out on their own? Smuggar lives close enough to Boob & J'Chelle to visit on a regular basis, and that's a no can do. I'm going to go ahead and throw a wild guess out there that the Duggar clan probably shows up unexpectedly at their house when Anna's lounging in Yoga pants and watching Real Housewives of New Jersey, and that would totally harsh the being-an-adult-and-doing-my-own-damn-thing mellow.

I think I could handle the Duggars just fine if I lived really, really far away. They seem more interested in visiting homeschool conferences, stupid field trips, and fellowshipping than they do visiting family (*ahem* Michelle's Ohioan Heathen Brethren)

[Deleted02]

Ugh. I would rather grow a mullet.

[Lillybee]

I have to say either of them would be better than Ma Maxwell.,

[Feberin]

Kelly Bates because like others have said she seems more direct. I also see her being a more hands on Grandmother. Although she might be competitive with Michelle on kids I think she would be happy about grandkids.

[Jessica]

I have to say either of them would be better than Ma Maxwell.,

If one of the Maxwell boys came a-callin' I'd pretend to be a lesbian.

[Guest Anonymous]

I would prefer neither...my boyfriend's mom is much more desirable haha.

On the topic of calling MIL Mrs. LastName, my grandmother is almost 90 and still refers to her MIL as Mrs. LastName.

[marmalade]

I'd go with Michelle because other than TLC events, like the birth of her grandson, she'll never see you (or, sadly, her grandchildren) again until the next mandated TLC field trip.

Michelle Duggar is all about Michelle Duggar, no matter how much bullshit she can spew on demand to make it appear to be the opposite. Hell, she's not even caring for Josie any longer; she just might panic when Jana and Jill go to Peru for 6 weeks. She hasn't taken care of a baby over 6 months old since Jana was about 8 and Jessa/Jinger are poor, 2nd tier sister-mothers.

I'd rather be ignored than criticized, which is what I'd get if I were to be myself and laugh at the vapid prayers and/or poetry (always the same pattern and meter) that she posts on the website....not to mention the matching Little House frumpers for every occasion!

Yeah, give me Michelle. Unfortunately, even if I was a teenager looking at her sons today, none of them would be attractive to me. They either look like Boob or too delicate (Jed and Josiah) for my taste. Same goes for the Bates lot; fat Zach is off the market, but Nathan the Lisping Cowboy will be looking for a wife in a few years. Please keep Joy Duggar far, far away from that guy.

(edited becuz I spel lyk I wuz ejumakated at the SOTDRT)

[silverspoons]

I say Kelly. At least when she talks about her beliefs she has walked on the other side and can semi-back up her decisions. Kelly went to college, and lived the surburan lifestyle and gave it up for the quiverfull/gothard life. Michelle has only lived one way as an adult and is so sure it is the right and only way, it really bothers me about her.

I also would not want to put up with the Duggar tv and tour circus.

My MIL was in a way kind of quiverfull. She was told she could not have kids after a serious accident as a teen. She was thrilled to have one kid. Then she went on the pill and when she stopped the pill to have kid #2 she could not get pregnant for almost a year. She blamed the pill for messing up her fertility and refused to take it because she would rather have a ton of kids then no more and then had 13 kids. At the end had 3 late term miscarriages before her uterus gave out. She then adopted more kids. She was very disappointed we only had 2 kids because we have a house with more bedrooms then kids. At least we could have discussions and still be friendly but I always felt that she was scared if she was too pushy with her beliefs(and some of them were out there) that DH would stop visiting and calling.

[freehannie]

It wouldn't really matter. I'd be shunned in a matter of minutes by either one. I work at an evil public university and am a socialist feminist. They would run screaming.

[Guest Anonymous]

Kelly because she just seems, well, nicer. That and Michelle's voice would drive me up the wall.