Mods, move this if need be.

[noni alabaster]

I am 42 and pregnant. I think I am, anyway. Two OTC tests confirm it. I am going to set up the charity stuff again for my husband and me at the county hospital tomorrow,

But could this be perimenopause? I hope so. I loathe the mommy sites, and if I have messed up, please tell me.

We cannot have a child now, and I need to know my options.

[snarkbillie]

You should probably discuss your options with a doctor.

[emmiedahl]

Do you have PP in your area? They can do a more accurate test and give you information on various options.

[CanticleoftheTurning]

I agree with snarkbillie. You should go get it confirmed by a doctor, and talk with said doctor about your options.

(If DH and I were ready for kids, I'd totally offer to adopt. Sadly, we're not financially secure yet...)

[deelaem]

Color me suspicious.

[VeraAnne]

Perimenopause wouldn't give a positive HPT. Do you have a low-income women's health center in your area?

[atheistjd]

Color me suspicious.

Ditto.

Assuming you are for real, I would advise you to seek help IRL - see your doctor or the local PP if you don't have access to a regular GYN/GP. Internet research is fine, but you need to see a doctor to verify the pregnancy and discuss your options.

[browncoatslytherin]

Ditto.

Assuming you are for real, I would advise you to seek help IRL - see your doctor or the local PP if you don't have access to a regular GYN/GP. Internet research is fine, but you need to see a doctor to verify the pregnancy and discuss your options.

qft.

also, and PLEASE don't take this as being snarky, because i'm not trying to be, but i'm honestly curious...if you say you cannot have a child right now, why weren't you on birth control? or, if you don't believe in birth control, why didn't you abstain? again, i'm not being snarky, i'm just honestly curious.

[Rosa]

I think a lot of people get sloppy as they get up around 40. If it hasn't happened, you start thinking it won't.

There are not quite more I'm-40-and-surprise-pregnant cases in my immediate circle of friends than I can count on the fingers of one hand, but it's getting there.

[Deleted03]

I think a lot of people get sloppy as they get up around 40. If it hasn't happened, you start thinking it won't.

There are not quite more I'm-40-and-surprise-pregnant cases in my immediate circle of friends than I can count on the fingers of one hand, but it's getting there.

yes and there is no 100% reliable contraception anyway, and when you near 40 odds I guess are against you - although I could be totally wrong and 0,1% of the case is not cumulative. I always sucked at probabilities.

[CanticleoftheTurning]

It sounded fishy to me, but eh, I tend to err on the side of helpfulness and then let it play out. (Bites me in the rear sometime.)

Anywho, my mom did get surprise pregnancies in her early 40s. She actually got more fertile as her fertile phase of life was waning, having 4 kids in 6 years before her uterus/ovaries finally got so dysfunctional that they had to be removed. So, it's entirely possible.

[LilMissMetaphor]

I am 42 and pregnant. I think I am, anyway. Two OTC tests confirm it. I am going to set up the charity stuff again for my husband and me at the county hospital tomorrow,

But could this be perimenopause? I hope so. I loathe the mommy sites, and if I have messed up, please tell me.

We cannot have a child now, and I need to know my options.

Your options are talking with a doctor. I'm not sure what good posting on a messageboard is going to do.

[luckylibrarian]

You need to be discussing your options with your husband, your doctor, and anyone else that this might affect. Posters on a message board who don't know you or your situation can't advise you on your options. (Also, if you're 42, don't you know all the options available by now?)

[Lainey]

I am 42 and pregnant. I think I am, anyway. Two OTC tests confirm it. I am going to set up the charity stuff again for my husband and me at the county hospital tomorrow,

But could this be perimenopause? I hope so. I loathe the mommy sites, and if I have messed up, please tell me.

We cannot have a child now, and I need to know my options.

What the fuck are you talking about? What charity stuff? You're asking us if a positive pregnancy test could be perimenopause? Pretty sure that's not how it works. What does your loathing of mommy sites have to do with...well, anything? How should we know if you've messed up? Again, what the fuck are you talking about? Also, you're 42, and you don't already know your options? Really?

Colour me suspicious, too.

In other news, the spell check is persecuting me and my Canadian spelling. :evil:

[noni alabaster]

Geez, sorry I asked. I thought there would be some women here who've experienced something similar. I am scared. I am educated.

I have no health insurance, so no primary doc. And, yes, I loathe the Mommy sites because I don't want to be talked into having this fetus/baby/whatever.

I just wanted some advice from somebody who might have been where I am now.

That's it.

[VeraAnne]

The first thing you need to do is go to a public health clinic to get the pregnancy confirmed. Then you can get on medicaid so you can see a doctor.

[noni alabaster]

Everyone, I appreciate the responses. My husband is working a lot the next two days, and I am at my wit's end. I guess I chose the wrong forum on which to express my fears.

I live in a place where being a feminist is difficult, and I don't have a lot of friends.

Yes, I can look stuff up online. I am not stupid. I was just wondering if I was alone.

[StarrieEyedKat]

Geez, sorry I asked. I thought there would be some women here who've experienced something similar. I am scared. I am educated.

I have no health insurance, so no primary doc. And, yes, I loathe the Mommy sites because I don't want to be talked into having this fetus/baby/whatever.

I just wanted some advice from somebody who might have been where I am now.

That's it.

Look, if you're that offended by people questioning the veracity of your story, then you're definitely in the wrong place. We've had an influx of weird posters and stories lately, so people are gun-shy to just jump on board when someone relatively new posts a strange topic that only makes half sense like you did. We are a bunch of strangers on the internet, you need help that we can't provide, but your doctor and husband or close family/friend can. No one here knows you or your story, how would we know if you messed up and what options do you need us to tell you about?

If you're posting looking for support then you may want to "start over" and ask for support, not vague things like options and messing up and charity stuff(?).

[Witsec7]

I am 42 and pregnant. I think I am, anyway. Two OTC tests confirm it. I am going to set up the charity stuff again for my husband and me at the county hospital tomorrow,

But could this be perimenopause? I hope so. I loathe the mommy sites, and if I have messed up, please tell me.

We cannot have a child now, and I need to know my options.

I'm sorry you seem to be having a tough time. But I suggest you have your pregnancy confirmed and then address your options.

You appear to be an adult, are you aware that you have options?

[BravaAmica]

Geez, sorry I asked. I thought there would be some women here who've experienced something similar. I am scared. I am educated.

I have no health insurance, so no primary doc. And, yes, I loathe the Mommy sites because I don't want to be talked into having this fetus/baby/whatever.

I just wanted some advice from somebody who might have been where I am now.

That's it.

Are you asking if anyone here has had a whoops pregnancy in their early 40s and had an abortion?

[luckylibrarian]

People here have given you the only advice they can give: Talk to a doctor. Every situation is different, and we know nothing about yours. If you're worried about the cost, find a low-cost clinic or a doctor that will work with you on payments, but either way, you need to see a doctor.

The American Pregnancy Association is a national organization that provides information about pregnancy, women's health, and infertility. There is a lot of information on their site, and they have an information line. Here is a link to their resources about unplanned pregnancy: http://www.americanpregnancy.org/unplannedpregnancy/

To our fundie readers: They do not advocate one option over another.

[snarkykitty]

Geez, sorry I asked. I thought there would be some women here who've experienced something similar. I am scared. I am educated.

I have no health insurance, so no primary doc. And, yes, I loathe the Mommy sites because I don't want to be talked into having this fetus/baby/whatever.

I just wanted some advice from somebody who might have been where I am now.

That's it.

And a random message board is the first place you thought to look for help? This post reminds me of a 15-year old barging into chat rooms or onto message boards asking if they might be pregnant if they had oral sex. Ridiculous and in the wrong place.

Everyone, I appreciate the responses. My husband is working a lot the next two days, and I am at my wit's end. I guess I chose the wrong forum on which to express my fears.

I live in a place where being a feminist is difficult, and I don't have a lot of friends.

Yes, I can look stuff up online. I am not stupid. I was just wondering if I was alone.

Edited to add: What does any of this have to do with "being a feminist"? Why would you think any message board could tell you if you were pregnant? This smells like a baiting post.

[Mais Pourquoi]

We cannot have a child now, and I need to know my options.

I don't want to sound mean, or "feed a troll" so to speak, but this sounds like you're fishing for someone to say something controversial since you posted it on a feministy message board. I'm 24, engaged, and well aware of my "options" if I were to have an accidental pregnancy. Since I'm nice I'll share them with you.

1.) Have the baby. Lack of $$$ would make this EXTREMELY hard, but this would be my likely choice.

2.) Have an abortion. Where I live, safe abortions are easy to access at local clinics and doctor's offices. Since I would be pregnant with my fiance's child, am young (meaning pregnancy would probably not be as harmful to my body), and don't like the idea of abortion (I do fully support the choice of other women to have them though), I likely would not choose this.

3.) Go through with the pregnancy, give the baby up for adoption. I *would never* do this. Why? Because I can't imagine putting my body through pregnancy for 9 months, become attached to the idea of having a baby, and watching the baby leave my arms to go live an uncertain life with strangers.

I'm assuming your options are close to mine since you said you don't have health insurance. Ask yourself, which one sounds best to you?

[noni alabaster]

Yeah, I guess I need some attention. As I said, I don't have a lot of friends nearby.

My best friend is a gay man who lives 200 miles away. He is aware of the situation, but he is still far away.

I happen to be an adoptee, and that has worked out OK for me (I know both bio-parents), but I don't feel this is the best choice for me.

This was a birth-control error for us, at an age completely unexpected. We are floored, and I wanted some insight from people who might have had some similar experience.

I respect most of the members of Free Jinger, and I appreciate any insight you all give me.

[browncoatslytherin]

Yeah, I guess I need some attention. As I said, I don't have a lot of friends nearby.

My best friend is a gay man who lives 200 miles away. He is aware of the situation, but he is still far away.

I happen to be an adoptee, and that has worked out OK for me (I know both bio-parents), but I don't feel this is the best choice for me.

This was a birth-control error for us, at an age completely unexpected. We are floored, and I wanted some insight from people who might have had some similar experience.

I respect most of the members of Free Jinger, and I appreciate any insight you all give me.

if there's a pp nearby, they usually work on a sliding scale. sorry if i came off harsh, it's just an odd post. *hugs*